University  of  California  •  Berkeley 


Hillgro-' 

Practica 

and  Depo: 
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Precise  In 


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Ld  Complete 

^reatise  on  Etiquette 
Hints  in  Dress  and 
ptions  of  the  Rudi- 
including  Clear  and 
es,  Waltzes,  Polkas, 


Redowas,  Reels,  Kouna,  I'lam  ana  i?ancy  uances,  so  that  any  person  may 
leam  them  without  the  aid  of  a  Teacher  ;  to  which  is  added  Easy  Direc- 
tions for  Calling  out  the  Figures  of  every  Dance,  and  the  amount  of  Music 
required  for  each.  The  whole  illustrated  with  one  hundred  and  seventy- 
six  descriptive  engravings  and  diagrams,  by  Thomas  Hillgrove,  Professor 
of  Dancing.  237  pages,  bound  in  cloth,  with  gilt  side  and  back..$l  .00. 
Bound  in  boards,  with  cloth  back ... 75  cts. 

Rarey  &  Knowlson's  Complete  Horse  Tamer  and 

Pamer,  comprising  the  whole  Theory  of  Taming  or  Breaking  the  Horse, 
by  a  New  and  Improved  Method,  as  practiced  with  great  success  in  the  Uni- 
ted States,  and  in  all  the  Countries  of  Europe,  by  J.  S.  Rakey,  containing 
Rules  for  selecting  a  good  Horse,  for  Feeding  Horses,  etc.  Also,  The  Com- 
plete Farrier  ;  or,  Horse  Doctor ;  a  Guide  for  the  Treatment  of  Horses 
in  all  Diseases  to  which  that  noble  animal  is  liable,  being  the  result  of  fifty 
years'  extftnsive  practice  of  the  author,  by  John  C.  Knowlsok,  during  his 
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The  Poet's  Com.panion :  A  Dictionary  of  all  Allmvahle 
Rhymes  in  the  English  Language.  This  is  a  book  to  aid  aspiring  genius  in 
the  Composition  of  Rhymes,  and  in  Poetical  Effusions  generally.  It  gives 
the  Perfect,  the  Imperfect,  and  the  Allowable  Rhymes,  and  will  enable  you 
to  ascertain,  to  a  certainty,  whether  any  words  can  be  mated.  It  is  invalu- 
able to  any  one  who  desires  to  court  the  muses,  and  is  used  by  some  of  the 
best  writers  in  the  country.     Price ...... .......».../25  ots* 

The  French  Wine  and  Lignor  Manufacturer.   A 

Practical  Guide  and  Private  Receipt  Book  for  the  American  Liquor  Mer- 
chant. By  JoHK  Rack,  Practical  Wine  and  Liquor  Manufacturer.  Illus- 
trated with  descriptive  Diagrams,  Tables,  and  Engravings.  This  is  by  far 
'the  most  complete  and  reliable  Book  on  the  Manufacture  of  Liquor,  ever 
published.    Cloth,  price $3,00. 

The  Young  Reporter;  or,  How  to  Write  Short  Hand.  A 
Complete  Phonographic  Teacher,  intended  to  afford  thorough  instruction  to 
those  who  have  not  the  assistance  of  an  Oral  Teacher.  By  the  aid  of  this 
work,  any  person  of  the  most  ordinary  intelligence  may  leam  to  "Write 
Short  Hand,  and  Report  Speeches  and  Sermons  in  a  short  time.  Bound  in 
boards,  with  cloth  back,  price -_ 50  cts. 

The  Nightingale  Songster  ;  or,  Lyrics  of  Love.  Con»tain- 
ing  164  Choica  Sentimental  Songs.  Bound  in  boards,  with  eloth  bark,  and 
illustrated  cover,  price 35  cts. 

The  Emerald  *  or.  Book  of  Irish  Melodies:  Containing  a  Choice 
Collection  of  Irish,  'Comic,  and  Sentimental  Songs.  Bound  in  boards,  with 
cloth  back,  and  illustrated  cover,  price 35  cts. 

The  Knapsack  Full  of  Fun  :  or,  lOOO  Rations  ofLaxighUr. 

Illustrated  with  over  500  Comic  Engravings.    Price 30  cts. 

DICK  &  FITZGESALD,  18  Ann  St.,  N.  Y. 


Copie*  of  the  aboro  booka  feut  to  mj  address  ia  tha  I7.  S.  tx^  of  postage  ou  r«oeipt  of  pri«». 


FORTUf'JE  TELLERS   ^   DQEAM  OOOKS. 
Fontaine's  G-olden 'Wheel  Dream  Book  and^For- 

TUXE  TELLER,  liy  Fkltx  Eo>'rAi>'E,  Eortune-Teller  and  Astrologer. 
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ever  printed.  Each  Dream  has  the  lucky  numbkk  which  the  Dream  signi- 
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well  to  consult  them.  This  hook  also  informs  you  how  to  Tell  FbitTt'NEs 
with  the  Golden  Wheel,  Cards,  Vice  aud  Dominoes  ;  how  to  find  where  to  dig 
for  water,  coal,  oil,  and  all  kinds  of  metals,  with  the  celebrated -Divining 
Rod  ;  Charms  to  make  your  Sweetheart  love  you  ;  to  make  your  Lover  pop 
the  question ;  together  with  Twenty  "Ways  of  Telling  Fortunes  on  New 
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with  cloth  back.  It  is  illustrated  with  numerous  engravings.  It  also 
contains  a  largo  Colored  Lithograi)hic  Engraving  of  the  Golden  Wheel, 
which  folds  up.    It  is  the  cheapest  on  our  list.    Price..... 40  cts. 

Le  Marchand's  Fortune  Teller  ajid  Dreamer's 

DICTIONARY.  Containing  a  complete  Dictionary  of  Dreams  alphabeti- 
cally arranged,  with  a  clear  interpretation  of  each  Dream,  and  the  Lucky 
Numbers  that  belong  to  them.  Also  showing  how  to  tell  fortunes  by  the 
"Wonderful  and  My::-terious  Lady's  Love  Oracle.  How  to  Foretell  the  Sex 
and  Number  of  Children.  How  to  Make  a  Lover  or  Sweetheart  Come  to 
You.  To  tell  whethf  r  your  Lover  or  Sweetheart  Loves  you.  How  to  tell 
any  Person's  Age.  To  know  who  your  future  Husband  will  be,  and  how 
soon  you  will  be  Mairicd,  To  ascertain  whether  your  Husband  or  Wife  is 
True  to  You.  How  to  tell  Future  Events  with.  Caifis,  Dice,  Tea  and  Coffco 
Groun-.ls,  Eggs,  Apple  Parings,  and  the  Lines  of  the  Hand.  How  to  tell  a 
Person's  Character  by  Cabalistic  Calculations,  &c.  By  Madame  Le  Mar- 
CHAND,  the  celebrated  Parisian  Fortune  Teller.  Illustrated  with  numei^ous 
Wood  Engravings.  This  book  contains  144  pages,  and  is  bound  in  paste- 
board,.with  cloth  back.    Price 40  cts. 

Pettengill's  Perfect  Fortune  Teller  and  Dream 

BOOK  ;  or.  The  Art  of  Discerning  Future  Events.  This  is  a  most  complete 
Fortune-Teller  and  Dream  Book.  It  is  compiled  with  great  care  from 
authorities  on  Astrology,  Geology,  Chiromancy,  Necromancy,  Spiritual 
Philosophy,  &c.,  &c.  Among  the  subjects  treated  of  are  —Casting  Nativities 
by  the  Stars.  Telling  Fortunes  by  Lines  on  the  Hand,  by  Moles  on  the 
Body,  by  Turning  Cards,  by  Questions  of  Destiny,  by  Physical  Api»earances, 
by  the  Day  of  Birth,  &c.  Signs  of  Character  from  the  Shape  of  the  Finger 
Nails,  the  Nose,  the  Eyes,  the  Marks  on  the  Body,  the  Shape  of  the  Head  ; 
and  also  Signs  to  Choose  Husbands  and  Wives,  &c.  A  book  of  144  pngcs, 
bound  in  boards,  with  cloth  back.    Price 40  cts. 

The  Everlasting  Fortune  Teller  and  Magnetic 

DREAM  BOOK.  Containing  the  Sciences  of  Foretelling  EvenTs  by  the 
Signs  of  the  Zodiac.  Lists  of  Lucky  and  Unlucky  Days.  List  of  Fortunate 
Hours.*  The  Science  of  Foretelling  Events  by  Cards.  Dice,  Dom.noes,  &c. 
The  Science  of  Foretelling  anything  in  the  Future  by  Dreams;  nnd  also  con- 
taining Napoleon's  Okaculum,  or  the  Book  of  Fate.    Price  only  .-30  cts. 

The  Magician's  Own  Book.  Being  a  Handbook  of 
Parlor  Magic,  and  containing  several  hundred  amusing  Magical,  Mag- 
netical.  Electrical  and  Chemical  Experiments,  Astonishing  Transmutations, 
Wonderful  Sieight-ot-Hand  and  Card  Tricks,  Curious  and  Perplexing  Puz- 
zles, Quaint  Questions  in  Numbers,  &c.,  together  with  all  the  most  noted 
Tricks  of  Modern  Performers.  Illustrated  with  over  500  Wood  Engi'avings, 
I2mo.,  cloth,  gilt  side  and  back  stamp,  400  pages.    Price $1  50 


Copies  at  the  aboy«  buuks  Buut  free  uf  postage* oa  receipt  of  price. 


Wright's  Book  of  3,000  American  Receipts ;  or, 

Light  House  of  Valuable  Information.  Containing  over  3,000  Receipts  in 
all  the  Useful  and  Domestic  Arts — including  Cookery,  Confectionery,  Dis- 
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bracing valuable  secrets  that  cannot  be  obtained  from  any  other  source. 
l\o  exertion  or  expense  has  been  spared  to  make  this  work  as  comprehensive 
and  accurate  as  possible.  Many  receipts  will  be  found  in  it  that  have  never 
before  appeared  in  print  in  this  country.  Some  idea  may  be  formed  of  its 
value  in  this  latter  respect,  when  it  is  stated  that  the  compiler  has  been  for 
many  years  engaged  in  collecting  rare  and  valuable  receipts  from  nu- 
merous languages  besides  the  English.  This  is  by  far  the  most  valuabla 
American  Receipt  Book  that  has  ever  been-published.  12mo.,  cloth,  359 
pages.    Price - $1  50 

''Trump's"  American  Hoyle  ;  or,  Gentleman's  Handbook 
of  Games.  Containing  clear  and  complete  descriptions  of  all  the  games 
played  in  the  United  States,  with  the  American  Rules  for  playing  ihem, 
including  Whist,  Euchre,  Besique,  Cribbage,  All-Fours,  Loo,  Poker,  Brag, 
Piquet,  Ecarto,  Boston,  Cassino,  Chess,  Checkers,  Backgammon,  Dominoes, 
Billiards,  and  a  hundred  other  games.  This  work  is  designed  to  be  an 
American  authority  for  all  the  various  games  of  skill  and  chance.  It  has 
been  prepared  with  great  care  by  the  editor,  with  the  assistance  of  a  num- 
ber of  gentlemen  players  of  skill  and  ability,  and  is  not  a  re-hash  of  English 
games,  but  a  live  American  book,  expressly  prepared  for  American  read- 
ers.   12mo.,  cloth    500  pages,  with  illustrations.     Price $2  00 

Frank  Converse's  Complete   Banjo  Instructor, 

Without  a  Master,  Containing  a  choice  collection  of  Banjo  Solos,  Homv 
pipes,  Reels,  Jigs,  "Walk-Arounds,  Songs  and  Banjo  Stories,  progressively 
arranged  and  plainly  explained,  enabling  the  learner  to  become  a  proficient 
Banjoist  without  the  aid  of  a  teacher.  The  necessary  explanations  accom- 
pany each  tune,  and  are  placed  under  the  notes  on  each  page,  plainly  show- 
ing the  string  required,  the  finger  to  be  used  for  stopping  it,  the  manner  of 
striking,  and  the  number  of  times  it  must  be  sounded.  This  is  all  arranged 
and  explained  in  so  clear  a  manner,  and  the  method  is  so  simple  and  easy 
to  learn,  that  it  may  be  readily  comprehended  at  a  glance  by  any  person, 
even  of  very  limited  understanding.  By  this  simple  method  a  person  may 
master  a  tune  in  an  hour  or  so.  Mr.  Converse  is  an  eminent  professor  of 
the  Banjo  and  a  thorough  musician,  and  his  plan  of  instruction  is  entirely 
new  and  perfectly  easy.  This  book  is  no  catchpenny  affair,  but  is  just  what 
we  say  it  is.  The  Instructor  is  illustrated  with  diagrams  and  explanatory 
symbols.    100  pages,  bound  in  boards,  clotk  back.    Price 50  cts. 

The  Finger-Post  to  Public  Business.    Containing 

the  mode  ofiorming  and  conducting  Societies,  Clubs,  and  other  organized 
Associations  ;  full  Rules  of  Order  for  the  government  of  their  debates  and 
business  ;  complete  directions  how  to  compose  resolutions,  reports  and  pe- 
titions ;  and  the  manner  of  managing  Conventions,  Public  Meetings,  Cele- 
brations, Dinners,  Barbecues-,  and  Pic-nics ;  Models  of  Constitutions  for 
Lyceums,  Institutes,  and  other  societies.  With  rules  of  Cricket,  Base  Ball, 
Shinny,  Quoits,  Yachtiug  and  Rowing,  and  Instructions  concerning  Incor- 
porations. Hints  about  Libraries  and  Museums,  with  a  catalogue  of  desir- 
able Books,  and  a  List  of  American  Coins  ;  and  Rules  for  the  collection  and 
preservation  of  books,  MSS.,  and  objects  of  Curiosity.  Bules  for  Debating, 
and  the  composition  and  delivery  of  Public  Addresses,  with  examples  of  fig- 
ures of  speech  and  a  selection  of  specimens  of  style  from  various  American  ora- 
tors. Together  with  an  appendix,  containing  the  original  Articles  of  Confed- 
eration of  the  United  States,  the  Constitution,  the  celebrated  Virginia  and 
Kentucky  Resolutions,  and  other  documents  of  reference.  By  an  Ex-Mem- 
ber of  the  Philadelphia  Bar.    12mo.,  cloth.    Price $1  50 


CopitB  of  die  aftoVe  &o«ks  ■«&(  fr«e  of  portage  on  receipt  of  price. 


The  Perfect  G-entleman.  A  book  of  Etiquette  and  Elo- 
quence. Containing  Information  and  Instruction  for  those  who  desire  to 
become  brilliant  or  conspicuous  in  General  Society,  or  at  Parties,  Dinners, 
or  Popular  Gatherings,  &c.  It  gives  directions  how  to  use  wine  at  table, 
with  Rules  f(>r  judging  the  quality  thereof,  Rules  for  Carviag,  and  a  com- 
plete Etiquette  of  the  Dinner  Table,  including  Dinner  Speeches,  Toasts  and 
Sentiments,  Wit  and  Conversation  at  Table,  &c.  It  has  also  an  American 
Code  of  Etiquette  and  Politeness  for  all  occasions.  Model  Speeches,  with 
Directions  how  to  deliver  them.  Duties  of  the  Chairman  at  Public  Meet- 
ings. Forms  of  Preambles  and  Resolutions,  &c.  It  is  a  handsomely  bound 
and  gilt  volume  of  335  pages.    Price $1  50 

Martina's  Hand-Book  of  Etiq.Tiette  and  G-uide 

TO  TRUE  POLITENESS.  A  complete  Manual  for  all  those  who  desire  to  un- 
derstand good  breeding,  the  customs  of  good  society,  and  to  avoid  incorrect  and 
vulgar  habits.  Containing  clear  and  comprehensive  directions  for  correct  man- 
ners, conversation,  dress,  introductions,riiles  for  good  behavior  at  Dinner  Parties 
and  the  table,  with  hints  on  carving  and  wine  at  the  table;  together  with  the 
Etiquette  of  the  Ball  and  Assembly  Room,  Evening  Parties,  and  the  usages  to 
be  observed  when  visiting  or  receiving  calls;  deportment  in  the  street  and 
when  traveling.     To  which  is  added  the  Etiquette  of  Courtship  and  Marriage. 

Bound  in  boards,  with  cloth  back.    Price 5Q  cts. 

Bound  in  cloth,  gilt  side.    Price 75  cts^ 

The  Secret  Out;  or,  One  Thousand  Ti^cks  with  (Jards,  and 
othtr  Recreations.  Illustrated  with  over  Three  Hundred  Engravings.  A 
book  which  explains  all  the  Tricks  and  Deceptions  with  Playing  Cards  ever 
known,  and  gives,  besides,  a  great  many  new  ones — the  whole  being  des- 
cribed so  carefully,  with  engravings  to  illustrate  them,  that  anybody  can 
easily  learn  how  to  perform  them.  This  work  also  contains  240  of  the 
best  Tricks  in  Legerdemain,  in  addition  to  the  card  tricks.  12mo.,  400 
pages,  bound  in  cloth,  with  gilt  side  and  back.    Price $1  50 

The    Illustrated   Hand-Book    of    Billiards.     By 

Michael  Phelan  and  Claudius  Bsrger.  Containing  a  complete  treatise 
of  the  noble  Game  of  Billiards,  with  a  description  of  all  the  different  shots, 
how  to  bring  the  balls  together,  &c.  To  which  is  added,  the  Rules  of  the 
American  or  Four-Ball  Game,  the  English  Game,  and  the  French  or  Three- 
Ball  Game.  Also  containing  the  Rules  for  all  the  different  Games  of  Pool. 
Illustrated  copiously  with  engrarings.    Price -30  cts. 

The  American  Home  Cook  Book.  Containing  seve- 
ral hundred  excellent  Recipes.  The  whole  based  on  many  years'  experi- 
ence of  an  American  Housewife.  Illustrated  w?th  Engravings.  All  the 
Recipes  in  this  book  are  written  from  actual  experiments  in  Cooking. 
There  are  no  copyings  from  theoretical  cooking  recipes. 

Bound  in  boards,  cloth  back.     Price 50  cts. 

Bound  in  paper  cover.  Price. ..^ 30  cts. 

The  G-ame  of  Draughts  or  Checkers  Simplified 

AND  EXPLAINED.  With  Practical  Diagrams  and  Illustrationsrtogether 
with  a  Checker-board,  numbered  and  printed  in  red.  Containing  the 
Eighteen  Standard  Games,  with  over  200  of  the  best  variations,  selected 
from  the  various  authors,  together  with  many  original  ones  never  before 
published.     By  D.    Scattkrgood.    Bound  in  cloth,    with  flexible  cover. 

Price 50  cts. 

Courtship  Made  Easy;  or,  The  Art  of  Making  Love  fully 
Explained,  Containing  full  and  minute  directions  for  conducting  a  Court- 
ship with  Ladies  of  every  age  and  position  in  society,  and  valuable  informa- 
tion for  persons  who  desire  to  enter  the  marriage  state.  Also,  Forms  of 
Love  Letters  to  be  used  on  certain  occasions.    64  pages.    Price -15  cts. 


Copies  of  tk«  above  books  Bcnt  free  of  postaga  oa  reeelpt  of  price. 


G-OOD    BOOKS 

SENT    trPON    RECEIPT    OP    THE     PRIcE. 

1^^ 

The  Al-ma-kan-tur  Circle ;  or.  How  to  Win  a  Sweetheart  ©r  Lover. 
Containing  Facts  and  New  Discoveries  never  before  offered  to  the  public- 
Being  of  the  greatest  importance  to  both  Married  and  Single  Persons,  of 
both  sexes.  By  M.  L.  Byhn,  M.D.,  Graduate  of  the  University  of  the  City 
of  New  York.    Price,  25  cents. 

Liaug-hing:  Gas.  An  Encyclopsedia  of  "Wit,  "Wisdom,  and  "Wind.  By  Sam 
Slick,  Jr.  Comically  illustrated  with  100  original  and  laughable  Engrav- 
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and  the  best  of  it  is,  that  every  thing  about  the  book  is  new  and  fresh— all 
new — new  designs,  new  stories,  new  type — no  comic-almanac  stuff.  It  will 
be  found  a  complete  antidote  to  *'  hard  times."    Price,  25  cents. 

The  Bar-Tender's  Gnide ;  or,  Uow  to.  Mix  Plain  and  Fancy  Drinks. 
Containing  nearly  Thuee  Hundred  llccipcs  for  mixing  American,  English, 
French,  German,  Italian,  Spanish,  and  Huasian  Drinks— such  as  Juleps, 
Punches,  Cobblers,  Slings,  Cocktails,  «S:c.  By  Jerry  Thomas,  late  bar- 
tender at  the  Metropolitan  Hotel,  Now  York.  To  which  is  appended  a 
Manual  for  the  Manufacture  of  Cordials,  Liquors,  Fancy  Syrups,  &c.,  con- 
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Cloth.    Price,  |«.50. 

Charley  "White's  Joke-Book.  Being  a  perfect  Casket  of  Fun,  the  first 
and  only  work  of  the  kind  ever  published.  Containing  a  full  expose  of  all 
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pian Comedian,  Cuxvu^vt  "White.    94  pages.    Price,  12  cents. 

Black  "Wit  and  Darkey  Conversations.  By  Charles  Whitk.  Con- 
taining a  large  col) action  of  laughable  Anecdotes,  Jokes,  Stories,  "Witti- 
cisms, and  Darkey  'Jonversations.    Price,  12  cents 

Chips  from  TJncle  Sam's  Jack-Knife.  Illustrated  with  orer  one 
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laugh.    Large  octavo.    Price,  25  cents. 

IFox's  Ethiopian  Comicalities.  Containing  Strange  Sayings,  Eccentric 
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No  ^hargefor  Catalogues  or  information.    Address, 

DICK  &  PITZGERAIiD.  18  Ann  Street.  N.  Y. 


CHESTERFIELD'S 


ART  OP 


LETTER- WRITIISTG 


s  I  m:  i>  X.  I F- 1 E  r) . 


BSTNa  A  GCTDB    TO  FRIENDLY,  AFFKCTIONATE,  POLJTB  AND     BUSINESfl 
COERESPONDENCE,    CONTAINING    A   LARGE    COLLECTION   OF  THB 
MOST  VALUABLE  INFORMATION  RELATIVE  TO  TUB  ART  OF 
LETTER -WRITING,  WITH  CLEAR  AND  COMPLETE  IN- 
STRUCTIONS HOW    TO   BEGIN  AND    END    OOB- 
RE8P0NDENCB,   RULES   FOE  PUNOTUA- 
TION    AND    SPELLINO,   Ao. 

TO   WHICH    IS   APPENDED  THB 

COMPLETE  RULES  OF  ETIQUETTE. 

AND 

THE  USAGES  OF  SOCIETY : 

CONTAINING   THE  MOSST   APPROVED  KULE8  FOE  CORRECT  DEPORTMKK* 

IN   FASHIONABLE    LIFE,  TOGETHER  WITH    HINTS  TO  OENTLK- 

MEM     AND     LADIES     ON      IRREGULAR     AND     TULQA2 

HABITS,     ALSO,     TUB    ETIQUETTE     OF     LOYB 

AND     COURTSHIP,     MAREIAGK     BOT- 

QUETTK,  Ac 


KEWYORK: 
DICK    &   FITZGERALD,    PUBLISHERS 
No.    18    ANN   STREET 


Biiiv   -^  aeoorfllDg  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  yebr  1857,  l>y 

GAEEETT,  DTCTC  ^  FITZGEEALD, 

la  the  Ocrk'ft  Office  of  tlie  Dirtrlct  Conn  of  the  United  Stcte«  tot  tt» 
Southern  District  of  New  York . 


CHESTERFIELD'S 

LETTER-WRITING  SIMPLIFIED. 


Good  letter-writing  is  one  of  the  mainsprings  of  business, 
and  one  of  the  strongest  connecting  links  of  common  life. 
To  write  a  business  letter,  and  to  write  a  familiar  one,  re- 
quire as  different  qualifications  as  to  enter  a  drawing-room 
and  to  knock  at  one's  own  street-door.  Let  us  try  to  point 
out  what  these  qualifications  are. 

Tact  is  equally  necessary  in  both,  but  tact^of  a  different 
character.  In  writing  to  a  man  of  business,  brevity  becomes 
literally  "  the  soul  of  wit,"  and  true  tact  will  teach  us  three 
things  ;  first,  never  to  waste  time  in  more  compliments  than 
are  demanded  by  the  common  courtesy  due  from  one  man 
to  another  ;  secondly,  never  to  say  anything  that  has  nothing 
to  do  with  the  subject :  and  thirdly,  always  to  say  all  that 
the  subject  really  requires,  and  to  say  that  clearly.  A  letter 
of  ten  lines  will  often  fulfill  all  these  conditions,  when  a 
lengthy  epistle  will  bring  back  an  impatient  wish  to  "  know 
the  meaning  of  your  communication  of  the  — th."  In 
writing  letters,  we  ought  to  consider  that  we  may  be  wast- 
ing another  person's  time  more  precious  than  our  own,  in  the 
mere  operation  of  reading,  to  say  nothing  of  understanding 
and  replying  to  them.  But  let  us  always  remember,  that  it 
is  possible  to  be  brief  and  to  the  purpose,  without  being 
bearish  or  un courteous. 

I'act  in  familiar  writing,  and  in  some  half-business-halr- 
familiar  correspondence  (which  enters  constantly  into  our 
every-day  life)  consists  in  a  clear  and  ready  interpretation 
of  our  thoughts  and  wishes,  as  well  as  in  a  prompt  and 
graceful  understanding  of  those  of  another.  Here  we  are 
less  fettered  by  the  pressing  calls  of  time  already  over-em- 
ployed ;  we  are  enabled  to  speak  on  paper  (which  is  the  great 
and  true  perfection  of  letter-writing,)  and  we  mingle  the 

m 


s>n^i  ^22 


4  chesterfield's  letter  WRruta. 

gentler  feelings  of  home  associations  witn  the  sterner  calls 
of  duty.  But  tact  is  no  less  wanting  under  these  circum- 
stances. Who  would  write  to  a  child  at  school,  to  a  friend 
just  married,  or  to  a  dignitary  of  the  church,  all  in  the  same 
t(^xms  ?     One  may  be  familiar  with  all  three. 

And  even  on  the  most  familiar  occasions,  and  in  address- 
uig  the  most  familiar  friends,  this  tact  will  aid  us  in  not  a 
few  material  points.  It  will  prevent  us  mistaking  boisterous 
familiarity  (and,  too  often,  slang  and  vulgarity)  for  hearti- 
ness— carelessness  in  grammar  for  freedom  of  style  (a  mis- 
take, unhappily,  not  confined  to  letter-writers  only),  and 
will  give  a  refinement  and  gracefulness  which  enhance  even 
the  most  tender  passages  of  love  and  friendship. 

Now  it  is  candidly  to  be  confessed  that  the  art  of  ac- 
quiring this  tact,  (which  is  little  else  than  the  whole  art  of 
letter-writing,)  is  one  of  time,  trouble,  and  difficulty.  The 
earlier  it  be  commenced,  the  better  ;  but  there  are  many, 
whose  acquaintance  with  the  world  at  large  begins  late  in 
life — perhaps  never  begins  at  all,  and  from  such  persona 
much  cannot  be  expected.  A  regular  correspondence  with 
those  who  themselves  write  well  is  unquestionably  the  surest 
means  of  attaining  this  end,  and,  next  to  it,  the  frequent 
perusal  of  such  letters  as  form  a  part — and  a  charming 
part — of  the  writings  of  our  best  authors.  To  those  who 
possess  the  opportunity  of  cultivating  both  or  either  of 
those  resources,  the  examples  contained  in  the  following 
pages  can  teach  little,  excepting,  perhaps,  the  art  of  saying 
plain  things  in  plain  words,  and  being  able  to  say  no  more 
than  is  necessary  upon  a  trifling  subject — a  matter  which  a 
great  many  very  clever  people  find  more  difficult  than  they 
are  willing  to  confess. 

As  to  letters  on  courtship,  matrimony,  and  such  like 
matters,  the  editor  candidly  confesses  that  he  should  feel  lit- 
tle sympathy  with  any  gentleman  who  received  a  printed 
circular  in  answer  to  an  address  taken  from  a  printed  letter. 
Had  he  consulted  his  own  inclinations,  he  would  probably 
have  excluded  any  attempts  to  deal  with  such  matters  (where 
befitting  writing  can  only  spring  from  the  deepest  recesses 
of  the  human  heart)  ;  but,  in  deference  to  custom,  he  haa 
prepared  some  specimens,  and  selected  a  few  o4:hers,  which 
he  trusts  will,  at  all  events,  not  lead  his  readers  to  any  of 
the  displays  of  folly  or  misplaced  romance,  which  too  fre- 
q-iently  form  painfully-ludicrous  episodes  in  the  earlier  ao- 


TACT   IN    LETTEH-WRITINQ.  0 

qnaiutance  of  the  two  sexes.  A  manly  and  honoiable  feel- 
ing towards  the  objects  of  our  affections  will,  it  is  to  be 
hoped,  always  suffice  to  prompt  its  ho'nest  expression,  w Ab- 
out running  into  bombast,  extravagant  adulation,  oi  unrea- 
Bonable  and  absurd  protestations. 

Howsoever  humble,  or  elevated,  there  is  no  situation  of 
life  in  which  the  "  art  of  letter-writing"  must  not  occasion 
ally  be  found  of  vast  importance.  To  the  poor,  it  is  a  com- 
fort, a  solace,  a  blessing  ;  with  the  middle  and  higher  classes 
of  society,  it  is  an  indispensable  acquirement — an  exhaust- 
less  source  of  enjoyment  and  pleasure.  It  ought  to  be  re- 
garded as  an  essential  part  of  education.  But,  like  other 
arts,  it  must  be  taught,  or  studied  ;  for,  whatever  may  be 
the  scholastic  advantages  of  the  individual,  it  can  rarely, 
if  ever,  be  possessed  by  intuition. 

Po  you  feel  puzzled  when  you  sit  down  to  write  a  letter  ? 
Are  you  in  a  fix  how  to  begin  ?  Would  you  rather  walk  a 
mile  to  tell  your  friend  what  you  have  to  say,  than  spend 
half  a  day  in  writing  to  him  or  her  ?  Do  you  postpone  the 
writing  of  a  letter  because  it  is  "  such  a  bother"  until  the 
occasion  for  writing  has  gone  by,  or  the  patience  of  your 
friend  is  exhausted,  or  you  yourself  "  ashamed  of  having  put 
it  off  so  long  ?  "  Attend  a  while,  and  you  shall  endure  these 
pains  no  more — you  shall  no  longer  suffer  headache  or  cramp 
in  the  wrist,  nor  the  loss  of  a  day  in  accomplishing  what 
may  be  done  in  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  nor  the  worry  and 
vexation  of  not  knowing  how  to  begin,  or,  having  begun, 
how  to  go  on,  or  how  to  leave  off;  nor  the  danger  of  break- 
ing faith  with  the  best  of  friends  because,  although  you 
would  if  you  could,  yet  you  cannot,  cannot  write  a  letter. 

Can  you  write  a  letter  without  hesitation,  demur,  or  diffi- 
culty ?  Can  you  seize  the  pen,  and,  at  once,  commit  your 
thoughts  to  paper  as  freely  as  you  could  speak  them,  stating 
your  business  proposals,  your  friendly  assurances,  your  grat- 
ulations,  your  condolence,  your  love  ;  or,  in  the  formal  lan- 
guage of  reserved  politeness,  convey  your  acceptance  or 
refusal  of  an  invitation  or  a  present,  or  your  simple  notifica- 
tion or  acknowledgement  of  a  fact  ?  If  you  can  do  this  you 
want  none  of  our  advices,  and  we  assure  you  at  starting 
that  we  do  not  believe  we  have  a  single  hint  to  offer  you — 
therefore,  if  you  read  on  it  is  at  your  own  peril,  not  ours. 

But  we  do  offer  help  to  those  who  really  want  ii>— and  their 
name  is  legion.     Persons  who  are  not  accustomed  to  the  use 


b  CHESTERFIELD  S   LETTER-WRITER. 

of  the  pen  find  it  a  tough  task  to  write  a  letter,  and  the 
difficulty  is  the  greater  in  proportion  to  the  insufficiency  of 
tneir  education.  Many,  even  among  sensible  and  well- 
informed  people,  are  but  poor  hands  at  letter-writing,  or 
even  in  the  diction  of  a  simple  note,  and  they  wonder  how 
in  the  world  it  is  that  others  of  no  better  education  than 
themselves  are  so  ready  in  the  use  of  the  pen,  so  little  em- 
barrassed in  the  composition  of  sensible  and  even  long  let- 
ters, so  happy  in  their  expressions,  so  clear  in  their  state- 
ments, their  sentences  so  brief,  so  well  arranged,  and  the 
whole  tone  of  their  correspondence  characterized  by  good 
sense,  good  feeling,  and  true  politeness.  It  seems  as  if  there 
were  a  mystery  about  it  which  only  a  gifted  few  can  under- 
stand ;  whereas  there  is  no  mystery  whatever  ;  comparative- 
ly speaking,  nothing  to  be  learnt ;  for  whosoever  can  manage 
to  scrawl  with  a  pen,  and  spell  the  words  in  common  use, 
might,  with  the  exercise  of  a  little  patient  perseverance, 
write  down  their  thoughts  as  easily  as  they  can  speak 
them. 

But,  says  the  reader, "  This  is  not  exactly  true  ;  for  I  have 
persevered  for  years,  my  hand-writing  is  really  respectable, 
I  can  spell  correctly,  and  I  know  something  of  grammar, 
and  yet  it  costs  me  much  labor  to  write  a  letter,  and,  after 
all,  J  seldom  write  one  that  pleases  me,  and  (ia  confidence)  I 
assure  yoa,  I  frequently  write  half  a  dozen,  and  say  the  same 
thing  in  half  a  dozen  different  ways,  and  then  destroy  them 
all  because  there  is  not  one  that  I  consider  fit  for  the  occa- 
sion." What  of  that?  The  most  accomplished  scholar 
that  ever  lived,  the  most  finished  inditer  of  a  model  letter, 
found  a  little  difficulty  at  first,  and  no  literary  man  ever  ac- 
quired the  free  and  ready  use  of  the  pen  without  some  stumb- 
lings at  starting,  and  you  have  only  to  persevere  in  the 
right  direction^  to  attain  excellence  in  this  necessary,  useful, 
and  ornamental  accomplishment. 

A  well-written  letter  has  opened  the  way  to  prosperity  for 
many  a  one,  has  led  to  many  a  happy  marriage  and  constan 
friendship,  and  has  secured  many  a  good  service  in  time  of 
need  ;  for  it  is  in  some  measure  a  photograph  of  the  writer 
and  may  inspire  love  or  hatred,  regard  or  aversion,  in  the 
reader,  just  as  the  glimpse  of  a  portrait  often  determines  us 
In  our  estimate  of  the  worth  of  the  person  represented. 
Therefore,  one  of  the  roads  to  fortune  runs  throtfgh  the  ink- 
bcttle,  and  if  we  want  to  attain  a  certain  end  in  lo^e,  friend- 


USUAL   STYLE   OF   COMPOSITION.  7 

Bhip,  or  business,  wo  must  trace  oufc  the  route  correctly  with 
the  pen  in  our  own  hand. 

Let  us  take  the  general  case  of  letter-writing  as  practised 
by  uneducated  persons.  Whatever  be  the  subject  of  the 
letter  on  the  occasion  of  writing,  it  is  pretty  sure  to  begin 
thus : 

"  This  comes  hopping  to  find  you  all  well,  as  it  leaves  us  at 
present,  thank  God  for  it." 

In  the  next  letter  the  writer  varies  the  commencement  for 
the  sake  of  change,  and  begins : 

'*  I  take  up  my  pen  to  write  you  these  few  lines.*' 

By-and-by  the  writer  begins  to  suspect  that  such  a  mode 
of  beginning  a  letter  is  not  very  elegant,  and  eighteen  cents 
are  expended  on  that  very  remarkable  work,  "  The  Lady^s  and 
Gentleman's  Complete  Letter  Writer,  90th  edition."  The 
time  comes  for  another  letter ;  the  "  Complete  Letter  Writer" 
is  dragged  out  from  the  darkness  of  the  drawer  in  which  it 
had  hoped  to  conceal  itself  for  ever,  and  an  hour  is  spent  in 
the  search  for  a  model  letter  that  will  just  express  the  wri- 
ter's feelings  and  ideas.  But,  alas !  among  the  three  hundred 
and  forty-seven  specimens  of  every  style  of  correspondence, 
there  is  not  one  in  which  James  is  politely  requested  not  to 
forget  the  boots,  or  Eliza  is  reminded  that  Walter  still  hopes 
'  to  meet  her,  with  sentiments  unchanged,  when  next  she  vi&its 
New  York  ;  there  is  nothing  in  the  "  domestic  letters"  to 
meet  the  case  of  baby's  teeth,  or  Susan's  blistering,  or  Jere- 
miah's illness  and  recovery,  or  the  death  of  Mrs.  Jones. 
The  "  business  letters"  say  not  a  word  about  the  administra- 
tion of  Jones's  will,  they  do  not  even  mention  the  appren- 
ticeship of  young  Waggles.  As  to  the  "  love  letters,"  the 
writer  thereof  has  made  no  provision  for  Jemima's  accept- 
ance of  Joseph  on  condition  that  he  will  at  once  shave  off 
his  mousfh,che,  and  take  to  all-round  collars,  and  give  up 
punning  at  the  dinner-table.  The  "  complimentary  letters" 
are  certainly  very  pretty,  but  they  don't  help  one  to  present 
compliments  to  Mrs.  Popejohn,  and  thank  her  for  her  kind 
present  of  a  green  cat,  and  a  pair  of  turtle  doves.  No  ; 
nor  when  the  general  form  of  any  letter  or  note  does  happen 
to  suit,  can  the  copyist  determine  how  or  where  to  work  in 
a  little  special  request,  or  remark,  or  question,  or,  in  fact,  to 
taake  a  respectable  statement  of  any  kind  save  and  except 


5  CHESTERFIELD  S  LETTER- WKITEB. 

what  IS  actually  printed  ;  and  for  this  good  reason — that  a 
printed  letter  saves  the  writer  the  trouble  of  thinking  ;  and 
self-dependence,  confidence,  easy  expression  of  ideas,  are,  of 
course,  in  any  such  case  impossible. 

The  fact  is,  a  complete  letter  writer  is  a  complete  sham, 
an  absurdity.  People  want  to  write  letters  "  out  of  their 
own  heads,"  and  it  is  impossible  to  give  them  "  ready  made" 
letters,  which,  like  ready  made  shirts,  shall  fit  every  subject 
that  may  require  clothing.  We  know  a  case  of  a  gentleman 
— at  least,  a  person — who  offered  his  hand  to  a  lady  with  the 
help  of  a  letter  writer.  The  letter  began, "  Beverend  Miss ;" 
how  it  finished  the  reader  need  not  be  told,  but,  of  course 
the  lover  was  rejected,  and  his  "  billy  dux"  went  into  the 
lady's  museum  of  curious  autographs.  Perhaps  he  should 
have  copied  it "  Revered  Miss,"  but  he  should  not  have  copied 
at  all.  Had  he  written  what  he  really  felt,  in  the  best  lan- 
guage he  could  command,  he  might  have  gained  a  hearing, 
and,  perhaps,  a  bride  ;  but  he  went  to  a  dead  sepulchre  of 
words  instead  of  speaking  from  his  living  heart,  and  deserved 
the  snubbing  for  his  pains.  The  fii-st  step,  then,  towards 
attaining  the  art  of  letter-writing  is,  to  tear  up  the  "  Com- 
plete Letter  Writer"  into  pipe-lights,  or  curl-papers  ;  at  all 
events,  it  must  be  got  out  of  sight,  and  you  must  begin  de 
novo,  that  is,  out  of  your  own  head. 

You  want  to  write  a  letter,  then,  and  you  are  puzzled  how 
to  begin.  Will  you  write  sentences  on  bits  of  paper, 
and  accumulate  them  till  you  have  a  heap,  then  sort  and 
arrange  them,  copy  them  out  at  length,  and  then  correct 
and  copy  the  whole  ?  Nothing  of  the  sort ;  yet  this  is  the 
way  same  people  write  letters.  We  know  a  case  of  a  lady 
who  broke  off  an  engagement  with  a  gentleman,  and  who 
had  occasion  to  return  him  a  book  which  she  had  borrowed. 
She  wrote  an  indignant  letter,  composed  bit  by  bit  till  she 
had  about  half  a  peck  of  little  sentences.  When  she  came 
to  copy  them  out  the  greater  part  were  of  a  most  objection- 
able kind  ;  some,  she  remembered  afterwards,  were  very  bold, 
nay,  insulting,  in  tone.  But  she  managed  to  make  up  what 
she  thought  a  very  proper  letter,  and,  by  some  strange  mud- 
dle, gave  him  both  book  and  letter  with  her  own  hands. 
But,  alas  !  she  had  no  sooner  parted  from  him  than  she  re- 
membered  she  had  tucked  the  half-peck  of  disjointed  senten- 
ces inside  the  book,  so  that  he  not  only  had  the  letter,  but 


fiOW    TO   ARRANGE   TOUR   SUBJECTS  J 

the  corrupt  pieces  out  of  which  it  had  been  made.  She 
hoped  Lever  to  meet  him  again— let  us  hope  she  never  did 
though  he  might  have  found  her  a  sadder  but  a  wiser 
woman. 

When  you  sit  down  to  write  a  letter,  think  of 
your  subject — of  the  circumstances  you  wish  to  state. 
On  a  spare  piece  of  paper  put  down  your  loose  ideas, 
your  various  points  promiscuously  as  they  occur.  For 
instance,  I  will  suppose  that  you  have  a  doz^,n  different 
heads,  more  or  less,  on  which  you  desire  to  expatiate.  Put 
them  all  down,  (leaving  a  little  margin  on  the  left  hand  side 
of  your  paper,)  no  matter  in  what  order,  one  after  another, 
as  they  occur  ;  a  single  word  will  in  most  cases  suffice  to 
lead  your  memory.  Having  proceeded  so  far,  consider  in 
what  manner,  in  what  order,  the  different  heads  of  your 
letter  may  be  arranged,  so  as  to  produce  a  harmonious  and 
effective  whole,  and  number  them  in  the  margin  accordingly, 
1,  2, 3,  &c.  There  are  three  modes  by  which  your  task  may 
be  successfully  accomplished  ;  the  mode  to  be  determined  by 
circumstances,  and  by  your  own  taste  and  judgement. 

First. — Suppose  that  you  have  numbered  your  subjects 
according  to  their  intrinsic  importance,  1,  2,  3,  &c.,  and  that 
you  wish  to  treat  of  them  in  that  order,  commencing  with  No. 
I.  By  this  means  you  will  first  state  your  most  iipportant 
point,  and  then  gradually  descend,  numerically,  and  close 
with  No.  12,  the  least  significant  in  the  series.  To  this 
mode,  unless  for  short  letters,  there  is  an  objection  ;  your 
letter  incurs  the  risk  of  becoming  tame,  feeble  and  unim 
pressive  at  the  close. 

Second, — Number  your  subjects  inversely  ;  that  is,  hi 
your  first  head,  No.  1,  be  of  the  slightest  consideration  in 
the  series  ;  No.  2  will  pot*iess  an  interest  somewhat  higher  ; 
No.  3  will  become  still  more  interesting  ;  your  letter  will 
thus  grow  upon  the  attention  of  the  reader  as  he  proceeds  ; 
and,  by  reserving  the  most  important  point  till  the  last,  it 
will  terminate  with  a  strong  and  impressive  climax. 

Third. — For  long  letters,  or  for  letters  embracing  a  great 
variety  of  subjects,  this  will  generally  be  found  the  most 
preferable  ;  but  still  as  I  have  said,  the  mode  must  be  de- 
termined by  circumstances,  and  by  the  taste  and  judgement 
of  the  writer.     Adopt,  first  the  descending,  and    llien  the 


10  chesterfield's  letter-writer. 

ascending  icale  ;  from  superior  to  inferior j  and  then  from 
infe^^or  f .  superior  ;  somethmg  like  this : 

12! 
1  11 

2  10 

3  9 

4        8 

6    7 

6 

That  is,  commence  with  No.  1,  as  an  important  point, 
though  of  less  importaDce  than  No.  12  ;  thus  descend  in  the 
importance  of  the  respective  points  till  you  reach  the  bottom 
of  the  scale,  No.  6  ;  after  which  you  may  ascend  from  the 
comparatively  insignificant  point,  No.  6,  till  you  gradually 
reach  the  most  important  point  of  all,  No.  12.  Or  you  may 
number  your  subjects  in  a  double  series,  according  to  tho 
modes,  First  and  Second,  thus  : 

Superior    1 1    Inferior 


1 1 

2 2 

3 3 

4 4 

6 o 

6 6 


Inferior    6 6     Superior. 

By  these  means  the  commencement  of  your  letter  will  be 
good,  and  its  termination  will  be  better  ;  and  calculated  to 
leave  a  clear  and  strong  impression  on  the  mind  of  the 
reader. 

You  want  to  begin  your  letter,  and  it  is  to  be  a  letter  to  a 
friend.  Now  just  consider  for  a  moment  what  you  would 
say  to  that  friend  if  he  or  she  were  present.  The  moment  you 
have  abstracted  yourself,  the  first  words  of  greeting  wil  • 
pass  through  your  mind,  then  the  inquiries,  and  your  friend'fe 
responses.  Quietly  take  a  pen  and  write  down  those  imagined 
words.  But  the  moment  you  take  a  pen  the  words  are  gone, 
and  your  mind  is  as  barren  as  ever  ;  that  is  because  you  arc 
trying  to  say  something  grand,  to  "  write  like  a  book,'^  or 
like  somebody  else  whose  letters  you  like.  Never  mind  how 
Bentences  are  made  in  books,  or  how  somebody  else  begins 
nuch  pretty  letters.    Write  as  you  would  sveakj  write  on  ¥U 


A   FAMILIAR   LETTER.  11 

yon  have  written  all  you  would  speak,  as  far  as  the  compass 
of  a  letter  will  enable  you,  and  you  will  be  surprise*!  to  find 
that  you  have  explained  yourself  in  a  straightforward  way, 
and  with  a  feeling  of  grace  that  does  yoa  credit. 

We  beg  you  to  depend  wholly  upon  yourself,  to  write 
down  your  simple  thoughts  as  they  occur  to  you,  and  to  state 
your  requests,  your  replies,  your  sympathies  and  suggestions, 
just  as  if  your  friend  were  beside  you,  and  you  were  talking 
as  friends  do  talk.  For  instance,  a  young  man  is  about  to 
write  to  his  absent  brother,  and  he  begins,  "  Dear  Thomas." 
Then  he  is  stuck  fast,  and  he  thinks  of  sending  his  letter 
"  hopping  to  find  brother  Thomas  well."  Then  the  great 
event  which  he  is  to  relate  thoroughly  puzzles  him,  and,  at 
last,  he  writes  "  mother  and  father  send  their  loves,  and 
mother  has  been  confined,  and  the  baby  is  a  girl,  and  its  to 
be  named  Eliza." 

But  if  he  would  imagine  himself  talking  to  brother 
Thomas^  he  would  write  in  this  wise : 

*'  Dear  Tom— 

"  As  we  have  not  received  any  unpleasant  news  from  you,  we 
feel  assured  that  you  are  hearty  and  prospering.  But  if  you 
are  at  all  pinched  in  pocket,  or  out  of  health,  don't  hesitate  to 
let  us  know,  for  we  are  anxiously  concerned  8 bout  your  pro 
gress,  and  father  would  remit  you  a  few  dollars  rather  than 
that  you  should  suffer  inconvenience  from  scarcity  of  cash. 

*'  You  know  what  a  quiet  Hfe  we  live,  and  can  well  imagine 
how  excited  the  village  has  been  lately,  when  I  tell  you  that 
there  is  an  addition  to  the  family  here — a  thumping  sister  for 
you,  Tom,  boni  at  twelve,  on  Tuesday  night  last,  and  '  mother 
and  child  doing  well.'  The  nurse,  old  Hatchet— you  remember 
her — says  she  is  the  finest  baby  she  ever  saw.  She  certainly  is 
a  fine  child  ;  but,  upon  my  soul,  she  makes  a  horrid  noise  all 
night,  I'm  glad  that  my  bed-room  is  at  the  top  of  the  house, 
and  I  can  patiently  bear  with  the  moaning  of  the  pigeons  when 
I  reflect  on  the  sort  of  serenades  I  should  have  if  I  slept  in 
the  room  you  had. ' ' 

Of  course,  we  might  go  on  and  ccmpose  a  very  long  letter 
to  brother  Tom  ;  but  as  it  is  impossible  to  iiivent  a  letter  of 
any  kind,  suitable  to  more  than  one  case  in  ten  thousand  ; 
80  it  is  absurd  to  invent  incidents  or  imagine  feelings,  in  the 
expectation  that  some  lucky  chance  will  make  them  suitable 
to  any  one  about  to  write  a  letter     CTur  object  is  to  impress 


12  CHESTERFIELD  S  LETTER- WRITER. 

upon  the  beginner  the  necessity  of  writing  what  he  or  she 
may  really  think  and  feel,  and  to  abandon  all  intention  of 
producing  an  effect  by  fine  writing,  or  hard  words.  That  . 
which  you  say  directly  from  yourself  will  most  forcibly 
appeal  to  the  reader  of  your  letter  ;  and  whatever  the  object 
of  the  letter — a  mere  interchange  of  friendship,  a  declara- 
tion of  love,  or  a  business  proposition — it  will  be  more 
readily  attained  by  a  letter  written  off-hand,  than  by  one 
which  may  cost  you  a  whole  night  of  study,  even  if  you 
nibble  the  pen  into  pulp,  and  spoil  a  quire  of  paper. 

But  if  your  letter,  when  so  written,  has  an  awkward  look, 
go  over  it  carefully,  and  strike  out  every  word  that  seems 
superfluous.  In  this  suicidal  sort  of  task  you  will  have  to 
slaughter  adjectives  wholesale.  Adjectives,  my  dear  reader, 
are  those  words  which  express  the  qualities  of  things,  and 
inexperienced  writers  are  generally  addicted  to  an  excessive 
use  of  them.  An  extraordinary  incident,  a  remarkable  fact, 
a  very  strange  and  wonderful  occurrence,  a  magnificent 
and  splendid  appearance,  and  so  on,  are  to  be  regarded  as 
excrescences  which  you  must  prune  off,  however  fine  they 
look  for  the  moment.  Run  your  pen  through  every  word 
that  can  be  spared,  no  matter  how  small  the  word  may  be  ; 
erase  whole  sentences  if  they  are  not  strictly  essential  to 
convey  your  meaning  ;  and  when  you  have  reduced  the  com- 
pass of  your  letter,  you  will  remember  something  which  you 
ought  to  have  said,  but  which  escaped  you  while  writing  ; 
add  any  such  omitted  matters,  and  copy  the  whole  out  as 
clearly  as  you  can,  and  you  will  be  pleased  with  the  new 
form  of  your  letter,  though  you  may  have  endured  many 
pangs  in  erasing  some  portions  of  the  original. 

Let  us  have  an  example  to  help  us.  You  write  in  the  first 
instance,  thus : 

"I  did  not  receive  yours  of  the  18th  till  this  morning,  bj 
that  it  has  been  six  days  detained  by  the  post,  which  is  very 
inconvenient,  as  the  letter  might  have  been  of  much  more  im- 
portance; and  in  that  case  you  might  have  thought  me  negli- 
gent in  not  replying  earlier,  which  I  could  not  do  of  ct)uns«^, 
because  I  had  not  received  the  letter.  1  am  glad  to  hear  tbjii 
your  health  continues  so  good,  and  I  hope  it  will  do  so,  and  1 
dare  say  it  will,  for  the  air  is  good  and  the  situation  high  where 
you  are  now  living,  and,  by  this  time,  I  should  think,  very  pleas- 
ant. It  gave  me  verv  great  pain,  and  much  sorrow  to  hear  of 
the  sad  news  of  your   niece's  continued  illness,  especially  as  ) 


AN   AWKWARD   LOOKINQ   LKTTER.  13 

ave  SO  much  regard  for  her,  and  remember,  as  I  shall  always 
do,  the  very  pleasant  and  agreeable  mornings  we  used  to  spend 
together  in  walking  over  those  remarkable  ruins,  where  there 
are  so  many  extraordinary  beauties  of  scenery,  and  so  much  tc 
interest  the  mind,  in  the  contemplation  of  magnificent  sceneiy 
find  wonderful  prospects  at  the  Abbey.  I  am  sure  you  will 
believe  me  very  thankful  for  your  kind  offer  which  you  state  hi 
your  letter  ;  but  as  I  am  so  much  engaged  at  home,  and  have  to 
see  to  Harry's  busiuess  when  he  is  away  on  market-days,  I 
cannot  accept  it,  though  I  can  assure  you  that  I  should  be  most 
happy  to  do  so  if  circumstances  permitted,  and  I  could  see 
clearly  that  I  should  be  able  to  stay ;  because  such  an  engage- 
ment is  not  of  much  use  unless  one  can  keep  it  for  some  time  at 
least,  and  if  I  took  it  I  should  like  to  stay  a  year  or  two." 

Perhaps,  when  you  have  got  so  far  you  may  halt  to  take 
breath,  and  find  your  space  exhausted  ;  and  then  some  im- 
portant matter,  which  you  had  nearly  forgotten,  will  have  to 
be  scribbled  round  the  edges  of  the  letter,  as  a  sort  of 
framework,  being,  perhaps,  of  more  importance  than  the 
picture.  Just  write  out  this  additional  matter  in  a  para- 
graph, and  then  go  over  the  whole  and  see  what  you  can 
cut  out.  ■  You  will  find  that  you  have  wasted  a  great  space 
in  apologizing  for  not  having  replied  earlier,  in  consequence 
of  the  delay  of  the  post.  You  have  been  very  diffuse  about 
your  correspondent's  health,  and  still  more  so  on  the  few 
matters  that  follow,  but  yet  you  cannot  see  where  to  spare  a 
portion  ;  but  if  you  imagine  that  you  were  called  upon  to 
relate  in  a  few  words  the  contents  of  your  letter,  you  would 
soon  find  that  it  might  be  condensed  into  a  neat  shape 
thus : 

"  Yours  of  the  18th  did  not  arrive  here  til!  this  morning,  and 
the  delay  will  excuse  any  apparent  negligence  on  my  part,  in 
not  replying  earlier.  I  hear  with  much  pleasure  of  your  con- 
tinued good  health,  which  I  sincerely  hope  will  continue  ;  the 
purity  of  the  air  and  elevation  of  the  position  are,  I  think,  very 
much  in  your  favor.  It  gives  me  much  sorrow  to  hear  of  the 
continued  illness  of  your  niece,  the  more  so  that  I  remember 
with  pleasure  the  agreeable  mornings  Ave  used  to  spend  together 
imong  the  interesting  ruins  and  charming  scenery  of  the 
Abbey. 

**  The  proposal  you  make  me  I  highly  appreciate,  and  would 
at  once  accept,  were  I  not  very  much  engaged  at  home.     Let 
me,  therefore,  decline,  with    sincere,  thanks,  the  eugageinent 
you  80  kindly  offer." 
2 


4  CHESTERFIELD  S   LETTER-WRITER. 

Wlien  you  have  thus  reduced  the  bulk  and  improved  the 
style  of  your  letter,  you  will  find  room  for  the  additional 
matters  that  you  were  at  first  compelled  to  thrust  into  an 
a^ly  postscript. 

In  all  cases  you  must  guard  ag-ainst  diffuseness,  you  must 
DB  plain  and  brief,  and  you  will  soon  find  that  half  a  dozen 
words  will  usually  convey  your  meaning"  more  clearly  and 
more  elegantly  than  half  a  dozen .  sentences.  But  brevity 
must  never  be  cultivated  to  such  an  extent  as  to  merge  into 
abrupftiess,  for  abruptness  and  rudeness  are  near  neighbors, 
and  a  moderate  freedom  of  expression  is  always  preferable 
to  immoderate  condensation.  There  is  a  story  told  of  a 
gallant,  who  wrote  to  a  noted  general  the  following  brief 
epistle : 

"  To  General , 

**  Sally  has  accepted  me  ;  can  I  have  her  ? 

"  Yours, " 

To  which  the  General  replied  : 

"  Go  aheud, 

"  Yours,  -■ ." 

Another  important  matter  to  be  borne  in  mind  is,  to  go  aa 
straight  to  your  subject  as  possible.  Do  not  circumvent,  ox 
play  a  game  of  round-about,  but  plainly  say  what  you  mean, 
as  if  you  were  expressing  yourself  in  the  simplest  conversa 
tion.    Here  is  a  bit  of  circumventing  fearful  to  behold  : 

"  Sir, 

"  I  am  very  sorry  that  I  should  hftve  to  trouble  you  so  often  ^ 
but  in  consequence  of  the  very  great  dullness  of  trade,  and  the 
difficulty  of  getting  moneys  iu  at  this  dead  season  of  the  year, 
and  the  few  orders  that  I  get,  and  most  of  them  from  custom- 
ers who  expect  credit,  and  that  for  a  long  period,  when  ready 
money  trade  is  that  which  I  most  want ;  together  with  the  late 
failure  of  the  Messrs.  Brassey,  which  occurred  on  the  10th  vi 
last  month,  aiid  in  consequence  of  which  the  Branch  Bank 
stopped  payment  on  the  following  day,  and  a  small  balance 
which  I  had  taere  is  lost,  or  at  least  I  shall  only  get  a  small 
dividend,  and  that  not  at  present ;  and  some  orders  which  I 
bad  from  the  Messrs.  Brassey  were  countermanded ;  and  if 
they  had  not  been  countermanded  I  could  not  have  gone  on 
with  them ;  besides  which,  I  had  a  small  account  against  them 
which  they  had  promised  to  settle  mmediateJy,  and  in  conse- 


DON'T   BE   VERBOSE.  15 

quence  of  their  failure  I  shall  have  to  take  my  chance  "with  the 
other  creditors,  and  shall  get,  I  fear,  but  a  very  small  dividend ; 
60  that  all  my  transactions  with  that  firm  have  been  a  loss  to 
me.  If  you  could  advance  me  another  hundred  dollars,  on  my 
bond,  for  three  months,  I  should  esteem  it  a  great  iavor,  and 
would  make  such  good  use  of  the  money,  in  completing  orders 
which  I  have  in  hand,  and  which  I  cannot  go  on  with  for  w^ant  oi 
cash,  but  which  if  completed,  will  be  very  profitable,  and  ena- 
ble me  to  discharge  my  obligations  to  you,  and  to  inscribe 
myself,  youi*  very  obedient  and  humble  servant, 

"  Jonas  Slowcoach." 

Now,  this  request  of  our  friend  might  be  compressed  into 
a  few  modest  words,  and  a  respectful  appeal  made,  which 
would  be  more  likely  to  secure  him  the  loan  he  wants  than 
the  long-winded  statement  he  herein  inflicts  upon  his  patron. 
No  sensible  man  would  care  to  lend  any  one  so  much  money 
after  reading  such  a  letter ;  it  is  worth  all  the  money  to 
wade  through  it.  But  if  Jonas  would  "  re-word  the  matter," 
and  give  the  whole  a  decent  shape,  he  might  stand  a  good 
chance  of  having  his  request  granted.  Let  him  go  straight 
to  the  point,  and  his  patron  will  see  at  once  that  he  is  deal- 
ing with  a  man  of  decision,  who  preserves  a  proper  self- 
respect  and  independence  even  when  asking  a  favor. 

*♦  Sir, 

"  I  regret  that  I  should  have  again  to  tax  your  kindness,  but 
I  am  under  the  necessity  of  requesting  you  to  advance  me  an- 
other hundred  dollars  to  enable  me  to  complete  some  orders  of 
a  profitable  kind,  for  which  ready  money  is  indispensable.  1 
Bhould  not  have  had  to  trouble  you  had  not  the  recent  failure  oi 
Messrs.  Brassey  entailed  upon  me  some  heavy  los8es,which  the 
orders  I  have  in  hand  will  enable  me  to  some  extent  to  repair. 
Messrs.  Brassey's  failure  was  announced  on  the  10th  of  last 
month,  and  on  the  following  day  the  Branch  Bank  stopped 
payment,  and  a  balance  of  cash  which  I  had  there  was  rendenyl 
unavailable,  and  will  possibly  be  lost.  Besides  this  misfortune?, 
the  Messrs.  Brassey  owed  me  an  account  at  the  moment  of 
their  failure,  and  I  shall  now  have  to  take  my  chance 
of  a  dividend  with  the  other  creditors.  Trade  is  very 
dull,"  &c.  &c. 

One  great  cause  of  tediousness  in  letters  is,  the  practice 
adopted  by  writers  of  interlarding  their  sentences  with  paren- 
theses, so  that  the  thread  of  sense  pui-sues  a  tortuous  cour&e^ 
and  we  are  engulfed  in  the  serpentine  most  completely. 


Iff  chesterfield's  letter-writkil 

**  John  says  (and  I  dare  say  he  is  right)  that  (had  ho  l[no\ini 
tt;  before)  ho' would  (had  not  the  weather  prevented  him,  and 
an  illness  from  which  he  was  then  suffering,  wid  from  which 
I»e  is  only  just  recovering,  though  Dr.  Emetic  told  him  ha 
could  not  be  about  for  six  weeks)  have  gone  over  to  the 
marshes  (only  that  the  frost  was  so  severe,  and  his  pony  was 
laid  up  at  the  farrier's  with  a  tooth-ache,  and  besides  he  could 
not  face  the  east  wind),  and  he  would  have  bought  the  sheep 
at  onco.'' 

Just  imagine  that  your  pen  is  an  arrow  Or  javelin,  and 
that  it  is  to  be  hurled  directly  to  some  chosen  mark,  and 
youiwill  soon  acquire  the  art  of  plain  speaking,  without 
parenthesis,  or  twaddle,  much  to  your  own  rejoicing  and  your 
reader's  relief. 

Some  ludicrous  effects  are  sometimes  produced  in  letters, 
by  the  neglect  of  the  writer  to  pay  attention  to  the  antece- 
dent. That  is  to  say,  you  must  write  the  present  line  in  ac- 
cordance with  what  has  gone  before,  and  not  mix  your 
sentences  together,  so  that  it  shall  be  difficult  to  understand  to 
what  any  particular  remark  is  intended  to  apply.  Thus  we 
read  an  advertisement  in  a  New-York  paper,  announcing  that 
a  blue  gentleman's  cloak  wo^  lost  at  the  railroad  depot,  and 
any  person  giving  information  of  it,  or  if  stolen, '  the  con- 
victed person,  shall  receive  five  dollars  reward.  But  to  make 
it  intelligible,  regard  must  be  paid  to  the  antecedents,  name- 
ly, blue  is  the  antecedent  of  gentleman,  but  applies  to  the 
cloak,  not  to  the  gentleman,  and  we  must  therefore  say, 
"  gentleman's  blue  cloak."  And  again,  as  to  the  reward,  it 
is  not  to  be  paid  to  the  thief,  but  to  the  informer,  and  we 
must  say,  "  a  reward  of  five  dollars  shall  be  paid  to  any  per- 
son who  shall  give  such  information  as  shall  lead  to  its  re- 
covery, or  if  stolen,  to  the  conviction  of  the  thief." 

Yet  blunders  of  this  kind  are  very  common  in  the  letters 
of  uneducated  persons.  Mr.  Bonsor  will  write  to  a  whole- 
sale house  requesting  "  another  parcel  of  the  patent  books 
and  eyes,  and  a  few  razor  cases,  sixty  to  the  ounce."  "  Sixty 
to  the  ounce,"  occurred  to  him  after  he  had  written  "  razor 
'cases,"  and  applies  to  the  "  parcel  of  hooks  and  eyes,"  not, 
certainly,  to  the  "  razor  cases." 

By  avoiding  long  sentences,  and  summing  up  every  state- 
ment or  remark  in  one  or  two  short  ones,  you  will  soon  at- 
tain to  elegance  of  composition,  and  from  the  first  you  will 
be  sore  to  make  yourself  understood,  and  that  is  the  first  n^ 


don't  bk  verbose.  n 

cessity  of  any  communication  whatever.  Depend  upon  ii, 
as  soon  as  you  begin  wire-drawing,  you  are  getting  cloudy 
and  ungrammatical ;  and  if  your  letter  wants  remodeling 
or  copying,  the  long  sentences  will  puzzle  you  into  a  low 
fe\Tr,  and  if  an  error  occurs  anywhere,  even  if  you  detect  it, 
it  will  be  very  difficult  to  remedy  it  in  any  sentence  thai 
runs  on  to  an  immoderate  length.  But  you  must  not  make 
your  sentences  so  short  that  they  express  only  parts  of  ideas 
or  facts  ;  as  for  instance  : 

"  It  rained.  So  I  rode.  But  it  soon  cleared  up.  And  re- 
mained bright.  So  I  got  out  at  Broadway.  And  walked  tho 
remainder  of  the  way.'' 

Though  such  a  statement  may  be  cut  up  into  many  short 
sentences,  it  really  consists  of  but  two,  because  there  are  but 
two  incidents  to  relate, 

"  It  rained,  so  I  rode.  But  as  it  cleared  up,  and  remained 
fine,  I  got  out  at  Broadway,  and  walked  the  remainder  of  tho 
way." 

In  composition,  of  every  kind,  a  grammatical  construction 
of  sentences  is  essential,  not  merely  for  the  sake  of  accuracy, 
but  for  elegance  and  clearness.  The  writer  of  an  ungram- 
matical letter  must  risk  being  pitied,  or  laughed  at,  or  sneer- 
ed at,  according  as  the  reader  may  be  influenced  in  the  pe- 
rusal of  the  letter.  Yet,  though  grammatical  accuracy  is  60 
desirable,  it  does  not  follow  that  a  person  cannot  write  a 
respectable  letter  without  first  going  through  a  course  of 
grammar.  As  we  can  only  here  advise  you  to  make  your- 
self as  competent  as  possible  in  that  useful  department  of 
knowledge,  it  remains  with  yourself  to  pursue  it  or  not,  ac- 
cording to  your  inclinations  ;  but  the  plain  confession  must 
he  made,  that,  without  a  sound  knowledge  of  grammar,  the 
-writer  of  a  letter  can  never  rise  above  mediocrity. 

In  the  absence  of  such  knowledge,  we  beg  to  impress  upon 
you  the  necessity  of  paying  attention  to  the  members  and  gen- 
ders of  nouns  and  pronouns,  and  to  the  persons  of  verbs.  Be 
careful  to  avoid  confounding  the  singular  with  the  plural  ; 
as,  "  These  was  mine,  and  they  was  his,  but  we  changed,  and 
that's  how  I  come  to  have  them." 

If  you  are  in  doubt  in  writing  such  a  sentence,  just  reflect 
how  you  make  the  same  statement  V7ith  the  tongue,  tlien 
adopt  the  same  for  the  pen,  and  your  sentence  will  reiwi. 


18  chesterfield's  letter-writef 

"  Those  were  mine,  and  these  ^^ere  his,  but  we  made  an  ex 
change^  and  hence  I  came  into  p>8ses8ion  of  thoae." 

A  little  qniet  reflection  will  often  serve  you  well,  even  if 
you  are  unacquainted  with  the  rules  of  grammar.*  You 
might  write,  or  in  conversation  say,  "  I  was  going  along  the 
street,  and  who  should  I  see  but  the  fellow  himself,  and  I 
whispered  to  Jenkins, '  That's  him.'  "  Now,  a  little  use  of 
the  reasoning  faculties  will  enable  any  one  to  detect  the  in- 
accuracy of  this  much-used  phrase,  "  That's  him  ;"  for  it  is 
evident  at  first  sight  that  that  is  an  impersonal  pronoun,  but 
him  is  a  personal  pronoun,  and  hence  they  cannot  be  used  in 
conjunction.  To  say  "  That  is  the  man,"  would  be  correct, 
because  we  do  not  then  use  a  personal  noun  or  pronoun  at 
all.  In  the  same  way  it  would  be  incorrect  to  say,  "  1  that 
tell  you  this,"  because  thatj  as  already  stated,  cannot  apply 
to  the  pronoun  /,  and  we  say,  "  I  who  tell  you  this." 

What  are  called  demonstrative  and  relative  pronouns 
most  frequently  occasion  difficulty  to  the  uninitiated.  This  re- 
fers to  an  object  near  the  speaker,  that  to  an  object  distant 
from  the  speaker.  T/iese  is  the  plaral  of  this,  and  those  is 
the  plural  of  that.  They  remain  the  same  in  every  variation 
of  person,  gei\der,  or  case.  Hence  we  say,  "  This  man  and 
these  boys  whom  you  see  here." 

In  reference  to  time,  this  is  applied  to  the  present,  and 
that  to  the  past  and  future  ;  as,  "  This  is  an  age  of  wonders, 
that  age  was  distinguished  for  its  feats  of  arms — that  time  19 
Dot  yet  come." 

Who,  which,  and  that,  are  employed  in  relation  to  some 
person  or  thing  in  a  sentence,  and  the  person  or  thing  so  re- 
ferred to  is  called  the  antecedent ;  as  "  The  man  who  spoke 
to  you  produced  the  letters  to  which  I  refer,  and  amongst 
them  the  one  that  1  wrote."  A  difficulty  is  sometimes  expe- 
rienced as  to  the  respective  uses  of  that  and  which. 

Who  and  that  may  be  employed  with  reference  to  the 
three  persons  J,  thou,  and  he,  in  both  singular  and  plural ; 
but  which  should  be  used  only  in  reference  to  a  noun  in  the 
third  person,  singular  or  plural. 

But  perhaps  the  words  was  and  were,  which  are  parts  of 
the  Verb  to  be,  are  the  least  understood  of  any  in  our  lan- 

*  See  "Live  and  Learn,"  or  1000  mistakes  in  speaking  and  writirg  oo»» 
«»fte<l.    Publisuod  by  i>icK  and  Fitzgekald.    i'rice  50  cents. 


GKAMMATICAL    BLUNDERS.  19 

giiage.  An  uneducated  person  will  write  or  say,  "  If  I  wcs 
going,  and  you  was  coming  ;"  and  sometimes  those  who  have 
noticed  that  educated  persons  use  these  words,  somewhat  pe- 
C'lliarly  fly  to  another  extreme,  and  say,  "  I  were  about  to 
giiy."  When  such  an  utterance  is  made  before  a  grammar- 
hiii,  who  has  a  slight  love  of  the  ludicrous,  it  has  a  tendency 
to  make  him  explode,  so  very  comical  is  that  were  when  so 
placed. 

Was  belongs  always  to  the  singular  number,  and  were  to 
the  plural ;  as,  I  was,  thou  wast,  he  was,  we  were,  you  were, 
they  were. 

The  verb  also  takes  the  form  of  were  in  any  conditional 
case,  so  that  whenever  it  is  precceded  by  if  you  will  bear  in 
mind  that  was  is  a  sign  of  vulgarity  and  ignorance.  If  I 
were,  if  thou  were,  if  he  were,  if  we  were,  if  you  were,  if  they 
were. 

SPELLING. 

Rules  for  spelling  words  cannot  be  given  here,  and  the 
dictionary  mast  be  your  guide  whenever  you  are  in  doubt. 
To  spell  a  word  incorrectly  is  not  always  a  proof  of  the 
writer's  incapacity  ;  for,  in  the  manuscripts  of  eminent  schol- 
ars, instances  of  the  kind  frequently  occur — the  result  of 
hurry  and  madvertence.  But  there  are  some  kinds  of  bad 
spelling  that  enable  us  to  distinguish  between  the  careless- 
ness of  the  scholar  and  the  blundering  of  an  ignorant  writ- 
er ;  for  instance,  the  confounding  of  the  comparative  as  for 
the  past  tense  of  the  verb  to  have.  Yet  there  is  nothing 
more  easy  of  comprehension  than  the  difference  between 
"  He  has  the  book,  and  it  is  bound  in  the  same  way  as 
yours."  The  first  implies  action — the  action  of  possession  ; 
the  second,  comparison.  How  distinct  and  unmistakeable  , 
and  yet  how  often  we  see  a  neatly  written  letter,  in  which 
tlic  writer  a.sk3,  "  as  he  told  you  so  ? "  or,  "  as  it  happened  ?  " 

Words  which  have  the  double  1,  or  m,  or  n,  are  very  com- 
mon, and  are  frequently  misspelt.  Fortunately  a  very  good 
rrle  can  be  given  for  the  guidance  of  the  letter  writer.  '\Vhen 
you  are  in  doubt  just  pronounce  the  word  aloud,  and  notice 
where  the  accent  falls,  and  place  the  doul)le  consonant  in- 
stead of  the  single  one,  if  the  accent  fails  on  the  syllabjo 
preceding  it.  For  instance  ;  if  the  word  befallen  were  pro- 
oouDced  bef'alen  it  would   be  spelt  with  oue  1  ;  but  as  Mie 


20  CHESTERFIELD  S   LETTER-WRITER. 

accent  falls  on  the  second  syllable — befallen — the  double  i 
is  correctly  used. 

We  might  fill  a  page  with  examples,  but  prefer  to  state 
the  rule  only,  and  leave  the  reader  to  note  the  instances  in 
the  dictionary,  or  call  them  to  mind  by  the  aid  of  the  mem- 
ory. The  rule  is  but  little  know^n,  but  is  none  the  less 
valuable  on  tLat  account. 

Words  in  which  the  compounds  ie  and  ei  occur,  afford  a  ' 
further  instance  of  the  necessity  for  a  rule,  and  fortunately 
we  can  give  one  :  but  its  value  will  depend  on  the  person's 
accuracy  of  pronunciation. 

In  order  to  impress  this  rule  on  the  reader's  mind,  we 
must  beg  him  or  her  to  remember  that  whenever  ei  or  ie  oc- 
curs in  German,  the  second  vowel  has  its  full  vowel  sound  ; 
for  instance,  Liebig  is  pronounced  Leebi'g,  and  Bleiter,  Blr- 
ler;  ill  each  case  the  second  of  the  twc  vowels  has  its  full 
sound,  and  the  first  remains  mute.  Now,  apply  this  to  Eng- 
lish words  in  ie  and  ei,  and  you  have  the  key  at  once  to  the 
mode  of  spelling  them.  The  w^ord  fiend  is  pronounced  feend, 
and  hence  you  put  the  i  first  because  it  is  mute.  But  nei- 
ther and  either  are  pronounced  ni-ther  and  i-ther  ;  and  the 
proper  way  to  spell  them,  therefore,  is  to  put  the  e  first,  the 
e  being  mute.  We  believe  that  both  these  rules  will  prove 
useful  to  many  who  are  a  little  bit  learned  in  literary  mat- 
ters, and  as  far  as  we  know,  they  have  not  been  given  be- 
fore. Our  reading  has  not  been  limited,  b'lt  we  have  never 
seen  such  rules  laid  dow^n  for  spelling  in  the  case  of  double 
consonants,  and  the  digraphs  ei  and  ie. 

Capitals  should  be  cautiously  used  in  letter-WTiting.  We 
should  certainly  not  confine  the  writer  of  a  letter  to  the 
rigid  rule  observed  in  printed  iiteratu"e,  because  an  import- 
ant word  may  sometimes  be  graced  with  a  capital  which,  in 
a  printed  form,  would  begin  with  a  small  letter.  But  an  in- 
discriminate or  even  frequent  use  of  capitals,  is  a  proof  of  the 
plebian  origin  and  ignorance  of  the  writer.  The  name  of  a 
person  or  a  place  should  always  be  commenced  with  a  capi- 
tal, and  every  fresh  paragraph  should  commence  with  a  cap- 
ital ;  beyond  this,  there  is  little  need  fur  their  use — strictly 
Sf)eaking  none.     • 

Ifalic  letters  are  employed  to  diGtingiiish  the  words  of  a  foi'eign  Ian 
guage  that  may  be  introduced  into  a  t>entence,  or  to  denote  that  those   of 

o\y  CMcn.  tlu^.s  (lisrin.^T'ii'^l'^'d,  are  particular'y   e-Mphctii-   and    expressive. 
Ti-o  ItA'.ic  oiiwiu  tt-r  wnb  iuvcrjtvnl  ar.ti  ir.irod;'cot.i  It   AMiva  M;i'Mt»:i6,  t 


PA KAO RAPES   AND    PUNCTUATION.  21 

eelebiated  Venetian  printer,  In  1501.  The  Italic  words  In  the  Sacred 
Bcrlptures  are  such  as  have  no  corresponding  words  In  the  original  Ilcbre-^ 
or  Greek,  but  were  added  by  the  translators,  to  complete  the  sense,  &o. 
In  tfri/zi??!'/.  It  is  customary  to  underline  such  words  as  wouid  be  Itali- 
cised in  printing. 

Paragraphs. — A  letter  which  runs  on  like  a  stream,  with- 
out stops,  and  with  no  division  into  paragraphs,  is  as  ridicu- 
lous a  thing  as  one  in  which  every  other  word  commences  with 
a  capital  letter.  But  you  may  find  a  difficulty  in  breaking 
your  matter  into  separate  paragraphs,  and,  in  your  anxiety 
to  do  the  thing  properly,  may  break  into  two  or  more  por- 
tions, that  which  should  not  be  broken  at  all.  But  if  yot 
bear  in  mind  that  paragraphs  bear  the  same  relation  co 
written  compositions  that  heads  do  to  a  sermon,  and  act? 
and  scenes  to  a  play,  you  will  perceive  at  once  that  every 
paragraph  should  contain  within  it  the  complete  relation  of 
an  incident,  or  an  important  part  or  division  of  a  relation 
of  an  incident,  or  a  distinct  statement  of  some  kind,  having 
no  relation  to  the  statement  which  follows,  and  which  lattei 
will  properly  form  another  paragraph.  Pay  a  little  atten- 
tion to  the  manner  in  which  paragraphs  of  books  are  ar- 
ranged— this,  for  instance — and  you  will  see  that  there  is  no 
rule  as  to  the  length  of  a  paragraph  ;  it  may  consist  of  one 
or  two  lines  only,  or  of  a  hundred,  but  it  must  have  a  dis- 
tinctness, and  to  some  extent  a  completeness  of  its  ow^o 
Lady  writers  are  very  much  at  fault  in  this  particular ;  they 
hurry  on  from  one  thing  to  another,  from  James's  cold  to 
Betsey's  fever  ;  then  to  the  fashion  of  bonnets,  or  the  preva- 
lence of  hats  ;  thence  to  weddings  that  have  happened,  and 
to  weddings  that  are  about  to  happen  ;  and  then  to  inquir- 
ies of  all  kinds,  and  replies  to  inquiries  that  have  honV  ad- 
dressed to  them  ;  and  the  whole  of  such  separate  and  distinct 
matters  are  strung  together,  sometimes  without  stops,  but 
very  often  indeed  with  no  division  into  paragraphs.  Yet 
nothing  can  be  more  simple,  for  the  matter  readily  separates 
itself  into  portions,  if  it  be  carefully  scanned,  and  it  wiU 
Boon  be  discovered  that  this  necessary  and  proper  division 
may  be  accomplished  without  the  help  of  a  professor,  or  » 
C'jisultation  of  blue  stockings. 

PUNCTUATION. 

" PxmoTTTATiON  Is  tbo  art  of  dividing  a  written  composition,  by  oertafn 
marks,  to  denote  the  different  pauses  wUicb  the  snase  and  eonstructlon 
require. 


22  CHESTEnFIELD'S   LETTEK-WKITER. 

"  The  marks  used  in  punctuation  are,  tli«  comma  (,''r  tlie  'lemicolon  (;>, 
the  colon  (:  \  tlie  period  or  full  point  (.),  the  vote  of  admiracion  (!),  and . 
the  note  cf  interrogation  (^:). 

"A  comma,  wliich  Is  the  shortest  pause,  Is  used  to  separate  those  parts 
of  a  senter  ce,  which,  though  very  closely  connected  in  sense,  requiie  a 
pause  belNs  een  them.  Two  or  more  substantives,  adjectives,  &c.,  in)U'o- 
diately  succeeding  each  other,  require  a  comma  after  each;  a,^.  She  i% 
young,  handso^ne^  and  agreeable  ;  bat,  if  connected  by  a  conjunction, 
the  comma  is  not  required  ;  as,  lie  is  a  xciseand  learned  man.  When 
an  address  is  made  to  a  person,  the  noun  requires  a  comma  before  and 
after  it;  as.  Attend,  child,  to  what  I  say.  Mar;y  adverbs  require  a  comma 
before  and  after  them,  a.s  perhaps,  TioweDer,  indeed,  besides,  dtc. 

^^  A  semicolon  is  used  for  separating  those  members  of  a  sentenco 
•jehich  require  a  longer  pause  than  a  comma,  and  need  some  other  member 
to  render  the  sense  com|)lete  ;  as,  A  clownish  air  is  hut  a  slight  deject ; 
yet,  trifling  as  it  is,  it  is  sitfficient  to  render  a  man  disagreeable.  Or 
it  is  used  to  distinguish  those  members  of  a  sentence,  which,  though  less 
closely  connected  than  those  separated  by  conmias,  are  not  so  indepen- 
dent as  those  distinguished  by  a  colon ;  as.  The  path  of  truth  is  a  plain 
cund  safe  path  ;  that  of  falselwod  is  aperplexcing  maze. 

"  A  colon  is  used  when  a  member  of  a  sentence  is  complete  Jn  itself 
but  is  followed  by  some  additional  remark  or  illustration  ;  as,  There  is  no 
mortal  truly  wise  and  restless  at  the  same  time  :  wisdom  is  the  repose 
of  minds.  When  several  members  of  a  sentence  hav<%  been  distinguished 
by  semicolons,  they  require  to  be  separated  from  the  last  clause  by  a 
colon  ;  as,  Education  is  necessary  to  enlighten  the.  mind  ;  it  is  of  great 
importance  in  the  business  of  life  ;  but  it  is  indisjieJi^ahle  for  rising 
in  the  world  :  therefore  improve  in  it  tmth  the  utmost  assiduity.  When 
an  example  or  quotation  is  introduced,  it  generally  preceded  by  a  colon  ; 
as,  'The  Scripture  says:  J/e  that  trusteth  in  his  own  heart  is  a  fooV 
The  o^lon  is  also  adopted  for  the  purpose  of  marking  or  dividing  such 
portions  of  the  service  of  the  Protestant  Episcopal  '  hurch  as  are  chanted, 
separating  each  of  them  into  two  parts;  as,  With  his  o^cn  right  Jiandy 
and  wtih  his  holy  arm :  hath  he  gottenhimself  the  victory. 

"The  period,  or  fidl  point,  denotes  that  a  sentence  is  complete  •  a9» 
Uonor  the  King.  It  is  also  placed  after  all  abbreviations  ;  as,  P.S.  Post' 
^cript.  A.D.  Anno  Dmnini. 

"  A  note  of  admiration  is  used  when  some  violent  emotion  of  the 
lOind  is  expressed ;  as,  O,  virtue  I  how  amiable  thou  art  1 

"  A  note  of  interrogation  is  placed  at  the  end  of  every  question  ;  as, 
Whither  shall  we  go  f    Shall  we  go  home  t 

"  There  are  several  other  marks  used  in  writine  and  printing  which 
require  illustration.  The  dash  i — )  is  used  when  tlie  sentence  is  broken 
off  abruptly;  as.  To  die — to  sleep.  The  vareiithesis  (  )  is  used  to  enclotje 
some  part  of  a  sentence  which  may  be  omitted  without  injuring  the  sense  ; 
as.  We  all  {including  Mr.  A.)  went  to  Boston.  The  apostrophe  [']  ta 
used  cither  as  a  sign  of  the  possessive  CHse,  or  to  shorten  a  word;  as, 
Mary's  frock,  tho'  for  though,  ne'er  for  never.    The  caret  [a]   is    use<l, 

tall 
to  show  that  some  word  or  words  are  omitted ;  as,  /  am  a  man.    Th« 

A 

hyphen  is  used  to  connect  compound  words ;  as,  self-love.  The  dieresii 
[••]  is  placed  over  one  of  two  vowels,  to  show  that  they  are  to  be  sepa- 
rately pronounced  ;  as,  aerial.  The  index  [^^"1  points  out  a  remarka 
Ma  p'issage.  The  aste  isYa  [*].  the  single  or  double  dagger  [t  X],  paral 
lei  lines,  [H],  the  section  [§],  the  paragraph  [^] ;  as  also  small  letters,  as 
*,  b ;  and  figures,  1 ,  2,  3,  are  used  as  references  to  notes  in  the  mar^^ln,  or 
at  the  b<»ttom  of  th^  page." 


HOW  TO  WRITE   ?0&  THE  PKESS.  23 

Lawyers  disdain  punctuation  in  their  documents,  and 
icholars  will  never  cease  to  pity  thera  so  long  as  they 
continue  the  practice  of  constructing  documents  without 
Btops.  Are  law  clerks  endowed  with  any  greater  power 
of  lungs  than  other  people,  or  are  they  so  clever  in  extem- 
poraneous punctuation,  that  they  can  always  mark  the 
pauses  correctly  in  the  perusal  of  documents  ?  No,  it  is  the 
practice,  or  rather  the  habit,  of  the  profession  ;  the  worso 
then  for  the  profession.  Let  no  aspirant  to  elegance  in  epis- 
tolary correspondence  disdain  the  services  of  those  valuable 
little  dots,  the  comma,  the  semicolon,  the  colon,  and  the  pe- 
riod. The  comma  and  the  period  will  do  nearly  all  you 
want ;  the  dash  may  sometimes  be  useful ;  but  the  other 
two  require  more  experience  to  use  them  well.  Wherever  a 
proper  pause  occurs,  wherever  the  sentence  seems  naturally 
to  halt,  stick  in  a  comma ;  and  when  that  head,  or  division, 
or  sentence,  is  really  completed,  put  down  your  full-stop,  and 
begin  again  with  a  capital  letter.  Observe  how  this  is  man- 
aged in  books,  and  you  will  gain  more  instruction  in  puno- 
tuation  in  ten  minutes  than  we  could  teach  you  were  we  to 
devote  several  pages  to  the  subject.  Correct  punctuation 
not  only  gives  elegance  to  a  composition,  but  it  makes  its 
meaning  clear,  enforces  attention  to  those  words  or  passages 
which  most  require  it,  and  to  a  great  extent  prevents  a  mis- 
understanding, or  wilful  misconstruction  of  the  writer's 
meaning.* 


TO  THOSE  WHO  WRITE  FOR  THE  PRESS. 

It  would  be  a  great  favor  to  editors  and  printers,  should 
those  who  write  for  the  press  observe  the  following  rules. 
They  are  reasonable,  and  correspondents  will  regard  them  as 
Buch  :  1.  Write  with  black  ink,  on  white  paper,  wide 
ruled.  2.  Make  the  pages  small,  one  fourth  that  of  a  fools- 
cap sheet.    3.  Leave  the  second  page  of  each  leaf  blank. 

4.  Give  to  the  written  page  an  ample  margin  all  round. 

5.  JS' umber  the  papers  in  the  order  of  their  succession 

6.  Write  in  a  plain  bold  hand,  with  less  respect  to  beauty 
1.  Use  no  abbreviations  which  are  not  to  appear  in  print. 
8.  Punctuate  the  manuscript  as  it  should  be  printed.     9. 

♦  See  an  excellent  liule  work  entitled  "  Mind  tour  Stops,"  or  <'Pua^tu 
Btion  made  plain."  Pablished  by  Garrett,  Disk  and  Fitzgerald,  price  12^ 
eeuts. 


1%  chesterfield's  letter-wkiter. 

For  italics  underscore  one  line,  for  small  capitals*,  two; 
capitals  three.  10.  Never  interline  without  the  caret  to 
show  its  place.  11.  Take  special  pains  with  every  letter  in 
proper  names.  12.  Review  every  word,  to  be  sure  that 
none  is  illegible.  13.  Put  directions  to  the  printer,  at  the 
head  of  the  first  page.  14.  Never  write  a  private  letter  to 
the  editor  on  the  printer's  copy,  but  always"  on  a  separata 
sheet 


THE  COMPLIMENTARY  NOTE 

Has  a  distinct  character,  and  can  never  be  confounded  with 
the  familiar  epistle.  The  note  style  is  to  be  adopted  by  per- 
sons who  are  strangers  to  each  other,  or  not  sufficiently 
known  to  allow  of  a  Camiliar  style  of  correspondence.  But 
the  subject  has  also  much  to  do  in  determining  whether  tho 
letter  or  note  form  shall  be  adopted.  Invitations  of  ah 
kinds  may  be  conveyed  in  the  form  of  the  note  ;  so  may  con* 
gratulations,  short  requests,  and  compliments.  Rut  where 
positive  business  of  any  kind  is  to  be  dealt  with,  the  formal 
business  letter  is  preferable,  except  when  a  gentleman  writes 
to  a  lady  who  is  a  stranger  to  him,  or  a  lady  in  writing  to  a 
gentleman  stranger ;  and  even  then  the  letter  commencing 
"  Sir,"  or  "  Madam,"  may  frequently  be  the  best. 

It  is  a  necessary  character  of  a  note  that  it  should  be 
short,  plain,  and  polite,  but  distant ;  as  for  instance  : 

"  Mr.  Brown  presents  his  compliments  to  Miss  Quaver,  and 
desires  to  know  if  Miss  Q.  still  continues  to  give  lessons  on  the 
guitar. 

"  Harmony  House,  June  10,  1856." 

"Mrs.  Sociable  presents  her  compliments  to  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Gay,  and  will  be  happy  to  have  their  company  for  a  friendly 
dance,  on  the  evening  of  Tuesday  next,  Dec.  18,  at  nine 
precisely. 

"  The  Snuggery,  Dec.  12,  ISGd" 

Etiquette  must  be  strictly  observed  in  all  such  correspond- 
ence ;  the  reply  must  be  prompt,  decisive,  and  as  polite  aa 
the  iDquii7  or  invitation  : 

^  Miss  Quaver  presents  her  compliments  to  Mr.  Brown,  and 
has  the  p  ensure  to  inforui  him,  that  the  guitar  classes  are  now 


THEf  COMPLIMENTARY  NOTE.  ZO 

fontinued  at  27  Miibic  Street :  terms,  twenty  dollars  for  the 
course  of  twelve  IcKyons. 

"  Fliitouic  Taraiie,  June  11,  1856." 

"  Mrs.  Gay  presents  her  coinpli merits  to  Mrs.  Sociable,  and 
has  much  pleasure  in  accepting  lor  herseii"  and  Mr.  Gay,  Mrs. 
Sociable's  kind  invitation  for  the  evening  of  Tuesday  next,  the 
18th  instant. 

"Makepeace  Place,  Dec.  13,  1856.'* 

Now.  why  does  Miss  Quaver  give  more  information  thaa 
is  sought  of  her  ?  Simply  because  she  is  a  shrewd  woman, 
anxious  to  extend  her  professional  engagements,  and  so  she 
states  her  terms  at  once,  and  saves  Mr.  Brown  the  trouble 
of  writing  again,  and  herself  the  trouble  of  a  second 
answer. 

This  form  of  correspondence  does  not  admit  of  remarks 
by  the  way,  or  even  of  prolix  explanations,  or  rambling 
statements  and  questions.  Neither  is  it  advisable  as  a  form 
of  communication  between  very  intimate  friends  ;  for  after  a 
close  friendship  has  been  sealed  by  social  communion,  and 
many  acts  of  mutual  regard,  it  would  be  in  danger  of  sud- 
den destruction  by  the  appearance  on  the  scene  of  so  cold 
a  document.  We  must  then  adopt  a  warmer  medium,  aud 
say  thus  : 

"  Hart  Street,  Nov.  9, 1856. 
"  My  Dear  Miss  Pink, 

**  We  shall  have  a  few  friends  here  to  dinner  at  five  on 
Friday  next;  will  you  kindly  join  us?  If  little  Arabella 
conies  to  town  in  time,  bring  her  with  y(»u,  and  gladden  tb<5 
heart  of  yours  devotedly,  GEOu^iiANA  Plum.'' 

One  point  we  should  scarcely  have  thought  it  necessary 
to  mention,  had  we  not,  while  writing  this,  had  a  document 
handed  to  us  for  inspection.  We  should  call  it  a  note  "  with 
a  vengeance,"  for  it  runs  thus : 

**  Mr.  Hawkins  presents  his  compliments  to  Mr.  Henry 
Whittle,  and  I  want  to  know  if  I  can  proceed  with  the  draw 
togs  as  you  get  the  models  ready.     If  Mr.  Hawkins  can  make 

S regress  with  the  scrolls  first,  perhaps  you  will  oblige  by  intro. 
ucing,  as  occasion  serves,  a  few  of  the  new  floral  bordtn-s.aud 
oblige,  yours  obediently,  J  S.  Hawkik8.'' 

3 


16  chesterfield's  letter- WitlTBK. 

Xow,  whatever  may  be  Mr.  Hawkins's  capabilities  in 
asing  the  pcucil,  he  certainly  cuts  a  ludicrous  tigure  when 
he  seizes  the  pen.  But  for  this  document,  we  should  have 
thought  it  unnecessary  to  inform  the  reader,  that  whatever 
tone  is  assumed  at  starting,  whether  in  a  formal  note,  a 
friendly  gossipy  epistle,  or  a  plain  business  letter,  that  same 
tone  should  be  sustained  throughout,  and  more  especially  so 
its  grammatical  form. 

If  we  write,  "  Dear  Sir,  I  have  had  occasion,"  &c.,  we 
write  in  the  first  person  singular  ;  but  when  we  say,   "  Tne 

editor  begs  to  inform  Mr. ,"  &c.,  we  write  in   the  third 

person  singular.  In  the  first  case  we  say,  I  am,  in  the 
latter,  he  is  ;  and  it  is  impossible  to  shift  from  cne  form  to 
another  without  at  once  violating  the  very  fundamentals  of 
Knglish  syntax. 

When  you  write  a  note  you  stand,  as  it  were,  behind  the 
scenes  ;  you  speak  from  a  distance,  and  refer  to  yourself  as 
if  you  were  a  distinct  personage,  having  no  claim  to  I  or 
we.  From  that  position  you  must  not  budge  an  inch,  nor 
must  you  attach  a  signature  at  the  end  of  your  note,  but 
state,  after  the  fashion  of  the  forms  given  above,  and  as 
briefly  and  politely  as  possible,  the  object  of  your  commun- 
ication. 

Hence  the  uses  of  the  note  are  restricted.  It  forbids  you 
to  give  a  full  account  of  any  transaction,  or  to  enter  min- 
utely into  any  details  of  trade  or  business,  and  more  especi- 
ally friendly  inquiries,  and  chit-chat  of  any  kind  ;  it  is  com- 
plimentary, and  may  be  friendly ;  but  it  must  bo  formal, 
elegant,  brief,  and  so  plain  in  its  statement  as  to  require  no 
explanation,  or  any  further  correspondence,  beyond  an 
equally  plain,  polite,  and  elegant  reply  ;  and  the  reply  must 
be  in  the  note  form.  To  reply  by  means  of  a  note  in  the 
first  person,  would  evince  a  sad  want  of   propriety,  and  a 

Croof  of  very  ill  breeding.     As  a  rule,  invitations  of   alJ 
inds  should  come  from  the  mistress  of  the  house. 

THE  FRIENDLY  LETTER. 

But  though  a  correspondence  may  commence  in  this  way, 
tnd  may  even  be  so  continued  for  complimentary  purposes, 
yet,  as  acquaintance  ripens  into  friendship,  the  time  will 
son-e  day  come  when  such  formal  modes  of  correspondence 
may  be  exchanged  for  others  of  a  more  lamiUar  kind. 


THE   BUSliNESS  LETTER.  27 

Among  men  formalities  are  soon  got  rid  of,  and  especially 
among  men  of  literary  culture,  who  yield  to  tLe  genialities 
of  their  own  warm  temperaments  much  sooner  than  those 
who  cultivate  politeness  only ;  for  men  of  letters,  and  cul- 
tivators of  the  liberal  and  fine  arts,  have  a  happy  way  of 
regarding  each  other  as  friends,  even  before  personal  ac- 
quaintance  begins.  In  literary  circles  it  is  common  enough 
for  a  person  to  write  to  another  a  friendly  and  confidentiid 
epistle,  before  the  parties  have  ever  seen  each  other  ;  but 
even  then  the  value  of  the  note  in  the  third  person  would 
not  be  overlooked,  and  such  a  letter  would  never  be  made 
to  do  duty  for  it,  and  complimentary  matters  would  still 
have  their  proper  formal  mode  of  expression. 

But,  supposing  an  acquaintance  to  be  commenced  through 
the  cold  medium  of  an  invitation,  a  congratulation,  or  a 
barren  compliment,  when  may  the  parties  abandon  such  a 
form,  and  adopt  one  more  congenial  to  their  mutual  regards 
for  each  other, and  the  expression  of  the  more  enlarged  com- 
munion of  feeling  which  may  have  sprung  up  between  them  ? 
Plainly,  when  they  feel  that  they  really  understand  each 
other,  and  are  on  terms  of  real  acquaintance,  if  not  of  con- 
fidential friendship.  Herein  they  must  judge  for  themselves 
but  without  haste,  and  cautiously. 

Individual  judgement,  based  on  circumstances,  is  the  only 
guide  in  such  a  case,  but  is  a  guide  which  can  never  fail,  if 
there  be  a  small  amount  of  common  sense  to  support  it. 
When  your  heart  yearns  towards  your  friend,  when  you  feel 
that  you  have  been  too  long  separated  by  the  demarkating  line 
of  cold  coaventionality,  sit  you  down  and  write  to  him — not 
from  the  head,  but  from  the  heart ;  but  keep  a  rein  gently 
tightened  on  your  enthusiasm,  for  fear  he  should  think  you 
are  over-doing  it.  But  you  must  still  be  a  little  compli- 
mentary till  you  know  each  other  well ;  give  him  credit  for 
his  good  judgement,  good  taste,  good  feeling,  or  whatever  of 
his  qualities  strike  you  as  forming  a  prominent  part  of  his 
character  ;  and  you  may  do  this  without  being  servile,  with- 
out bespattering  him  with  sickly  flattery,  without  licking 
the  soles  of  his  feet.  Should  you  stoop  to  the  latter,  yon 
may  expect  to  get  kicked  in  rtturn  ;  and  yet  a  little  gentle- 
manly adulation,  neatly  done,  and  implied  rather  than  said, 
is  a  great  charm  in  ^friendly  correspondence,  and  will  be 
pretty  sure  to  bind  your  correspondent  to  you  by  very 
enduring  ties. 


28  chesteefield's,  letter-writeb. 

But  you  have  opened  your  heart,  and  have  said  "  My 
dear  Mr.  Wilkins,"  instead  of  "  Mr.  Bumps  presents  liia 
compliments  to  Mr.  Wilkius." 

Will  lid  reply  in  a  kindred  tone  ?  He  must.  ITe  dare  not 
Bend  you  back  a  cold  note  of  six  lines,  written  in  the  center 
of  an  odoriferous  sheet  of  the  purest  creani-laid.  If  yoa 
get  back  a  very  polite  note,  distant  as  usual,  the  thivd  per- 
son responding  to  your  ^assuring  first,  give  it  up,  you  are  not 
wanted;  remain  as  an' acquaintance  if  you  please,  but  be 
Bure  that  in  that  quarter  you  have  no  friend. 

Reverse  the  case,  and  all  that  applies  to  Wilkins  applies 
to  yourself ;  and  if  you  want  to  elbow  aside  an  obsequious 
flatterer,  who  thrusts  his  unwelcome  eulogies,  or  his  hollow 
cordiality — perhaps  with  a  future  view  to  borrow — upon  you 
in  an  excessively  pleasant  way,  settle  him  with  an  awfully 
polite,  short,  and  distant  note,  and  he  must  be  a  fool,  indeed, 
if  he  does  not  understand  at  once  that  "  it  won't  do." 

A  friendly  correspondence  once  established  must  not  re- 
lapse into  mere  formalities,  unless  a  decided  quarrel  and 
Beparation  have  taken  place.  Small  differences  or  disagree- 
ments are  never  to  make  any  change  in  your  modes  of 
address  and  expression,  for  there  is  nothing  meaner  than  the 
severing  of  the  obvious  ties  of  friendship  for  trifles,  though 
Buch  things  do  take  place  every  day.  It  should  be  remem- 
bered that  neither  friendship,  nor  cordial  acquaintanceship, 
interfere  in  any  way  with  a  person's  opinions  or  conduct,  so 
long  as  the  universally  recognised  principles  of  honor  and 
morality  are  not  violated.  You  may  some  day  have  to  op- 
pose your  friend  at  a  caucus  meeting,  or  in  a  warm  discus- 
sion on  religion  or  politics ;  yet  his  aversion  to  your  views, 
aud  your  impetuous  opposition  to  his,  are  not  to  prevent 
you  writing,  "  My  dear  Harry,"  or  "  My  dear  Tomkins,"  or 
"  My  dear  Sir,"  as  you  did  before  the  difference  broke  out. 
Depend  upon  it,  there  is  nothing  more  contemptible  than  to 
taint  the  amenities  of  social  life  with  exhibitions  of  temper 
or  vexation,  or  to  suffer  the  pen  to  express  unfriendly  senti- 
ments or  greetings  of  a  suddenly  cool  character,  because 
Bome  trifling  difference  has  arisen  iDetween  yourself  and  your 
^iend. 

Mere  it  should  be  hinted  that  whatever  mode  you  adopt 
in  addressing  a  person,  is  to  be  preserved  in  future  corres- 
pondence, if  not  in  exactly  the  same  words,  at  least  the  same 
m  purport ;  ycu  must  not  go  back  except  for  a  special  reasoa, 


THE    FRIENDLY    LETTER.  2S 

but  you  may  go  forward  with  a  proper  grace  as  ititimacy 
ripens,  and  increase  the  warmth  of  your  congratulations. 

We  remember  an  incident  which  may  be  mentioned  in 
ilkistration  of  this.  A  gentleman  had  been  for  many  years. 
9n  terms  of  intimate  friendship  with  his  tailor,  and  the  cor- 
respondence between  them,  whether  of  a  friendly  or  a  b"isi- 
cess  nature,  had  always  a  cordial  tone  pervading  it,  until  on 
one  occasion  the  friendship  was  slightly  interrupted.  In 
fact,  the  gentleman  was  a  little  in  arrear  as  to  the  settle- 
ment of  his  friend's  account,  and  the  latter  sent  a  short  and 
brusque  letter,  as  follows  : 

"Sir, 

"  I  am  disappointed  in  not  having  received  the  amoimt  of 
my  bill  as  promised  by  you  in  your  last :  may  I  beg  the  favor 
of  a  speedy  settlement?     Yours  obediently, 

"  Simon  Slowstich  " 

To  this  an  answer  was  returned  as  follows  : 

'•  My  dear  Slowstitch, 

"Last  time  you  wrote  I  owed  you  nothing,  and  yon 
addressed  me  as  your  *  Dear  Nonplus ;'  but  since  I  have  un- 
fortunately failed  to  meet  your  dematid,  according  to  my  owu 
promise,  you  reduce  me  to  a  mere  *  Sir,'  upon  your  list  of 
patrons.  Do  you  intend  to  terminate  a  friendsliip  of  ten  years 
in  this  way,  or  do  you  purpose  resuming  the  *  Dear  Nonplus,' 
with  a  view  to  be  mine  '  faithfully,'  when  the  account  is  settled 
fas  it  will  be  tomorrow)  remaining  in  the  meanwhile  miHe 
'obediently,'  only  ?  Will  you  allow  me  to  suggest  thatexpres- 
isions  of  friendship  are  open  to  question,  both  as  to  their  value 
and  their  snicerity,  when  they  are  made  to  depend  on  busi 
ness  relations  for  their  respective  amounts  of  warmth  or  cold 
ness  which  shall  be  infused  into  them.  To  be  consistent,  I 
shall  have  to  adopt  a  cringing  tone  when  I  owe  you  money, 
and  a  tone  of  pompous  patronage  the  moment  I  have  paid  it; 
that  is,  if  any  correspondence  should  continue  between  your- 
self and  yours  very  truly,  Stephen  Nonplus.  ' ' 

Among  the  forms  of  address  for  friendly,  complimentary 
and  semi-business  letters,  we  have  the  formal  "  Dear  Sii;"  for 
use  on  all  occasions.  The  solicitor  so  addresses  his  client, 
the  client  his  solicitor,  the  patient  his  physician,  the  editor 
liis  contributor,  and,  indeed,  any  man  of  gentlemanly  pre- 
tentions, addressing  another  to  whom  he  has  already  been 
ditrodaccd,  o:*  with  wliom  he  hgs  already  corresponded.     lo 


80  chesterfield's  lettek-writer. 

correspondence  of  a  professional  nature,  where  both  parties 
are  strangers,  it  would  always  be  well  to  commence  with 
the  simple  "  8ir,"  or  "  Madam,"  and  in  the  second  or  third 
letter  adopt  the  more  agreeable  "  Dtar  Sir,"  or  "  Dear 
^f  adam."  A  little  enhancement  of  the  gentlemanly  or  lady 
like  feeling  is  to  be  found  in  "My  dear  Sir,"  or  "  My  deaf 
Mad  11  m,"  which  may  by  degrees,  as  the  parties  know  and 
respect  each  other  more  sincerely,  take  the  very  friendly  and 
now  fashionable  form  of  "  My  dear  Mr.  Swallowwing,"  "My 
dear  Mrs.  Pettitoe,''  or  "  My  dear  Miss  Nightingale."  The 
latter  form  is  that  most  in  use  at  the  present  day  in  polite 
society,  between  persons  who  have  met  at  least  once,  and 
who  are  on  terms  of  acquaintanco,  in  which  business  has  no 
part  whatever. 

When  folks  begin  to  say  "  My  dear  Higginbottom,"  "  My 
dear  old  boy,"  and  "  My  dear  fellow,"  all  strict  rules  of  eti- 
quette are  at  an  end,  and  good  sense  gives  a  proper  form  to 
the  free  expression  of  mutual  friendship. 

But  friendsiiip,  like  all  other  moral  and  material  adorn- 
ments of  life,  is  subject  to  blight  occasionally,  and  the 
strongest  union  may  be  dissolved  by  a  fiercer  heat  arising 
from  the  combustion  of  the  very  dregs  and  lees  of  amity. 
Your  friend  annoys  you,  disappoints  you,  breaks  his  word, 
or  lets  off  a  bit  of  scandal  that  reaches  your  ears.  Then 
you  will  "  write  him  such  a  letter,"  you'll  tell  him  plainly 
what  you  think  of  him,  and  put  him  to  shame  by  the  evi- 
dence of  black  and  white. 

Now,  if  you  are  wise  you  will  do  nothing  of  the  sort ; 
you  will  never  write  a  single  word  that  may  cause  shame  or 
pain  in  the  reader's  mind,  or  that  the  writer  may  have  cause 
hereafter  to  regret.  A  letter  is  a  document  that  may  be 
preserved  for  ever ;  and  should  you  be  mistaken,  or  only 
partially  informed,  or  the  victim  of  your  own  too  hasty  or 
incompetent  judgement,  your  own  hand  and  seal  may  remain 
as  a  witness  of  your  rashness,  perhaps  of  your  meanness,  tc 
the  end  of  your  days,  ay,  and  long  after  that,  to  the  end  of 
the  world  even. 

Therefore,  if  you  want  to  tell  your  friend  your  mind,  do 
not  write,  but  speak  it ;  a  spoken  bitterness  may  be  forgotten 
and  forgiven,  but  a  written  one  cannot  be  so  readily  forgiven, 
and  it  can  never  be  forgotten ;  no,  not  even  if  burnt ;  for 
when  we  are  stung  in  the  perusal  of  something,  the  effect 
goes  deep,  and  becoi7i€3  las^  ing,  and  can  scarcely  ever  bf 


THE   BUSINESS  LETTER.  Zl 

thoroughly  erased,  evon  by  all-corroding  time.  A  fierce 
letter,  a  sharply  >Yritten  reproof,  or  a  disparaging  commuL' 
ication  to  a  friend  has  been  the  cause  of  embittering  many 
a  couple  of  lives  ;  and  it  may  be  safely  said  that  that  should 
never  be  written  whioh  we  may,  within  possibilit}'',  wish 
hereafter  to  recall.  We  are  all  fallible,  and  may,  therefore, 
be  very  much  in  error  when  we  feel  very  sure  that  we  are 
in  the  right ;  and  that  consideration  should  be  sufficient  to 
make  any  sensible  man  or  woman  pause  before  giving  vent 
to  anger,  with  the  pen  in  the  hand. 

But  exceptions  to  such  a  rule  may  occur  ;  an  admonition, 
a  reproof,  nay,  even  an  accusation,  may  sometimes  be  neces- 
sary, and  a  letter  be  the  only  possible  mode  of  conveying  it. 
JjCt  good  sense  and  good  feeling  determine  how  the  case 
shall  be,  and  let  it  at  be  the  same  time  borne  in  mind,  that 
what  is  once  written  cannot  be  unwritten,  and  that  greater 
caution  is  necessary  in  using  the  pen,  than  in  using  the 
tongue. 

THE  BUSINESS  LETTEE 

Must  be  pithy,  short,  and  go  straight  to  the  point. 
Pleasantry  is  not  advisable,  except  between  persons  who 
are  very  intimate,  and  even  then  it  is  best  to  keep  friend- 
ship and  business  as  much  apart  as  possible. 

"  The  first  thing  necessary,"  says  Lord  Cliesterfield,  "  in 
writing  letters  of  business,  is  extreme  clearness  and  perspi- 
cuity ;  every  paragraph  should  be  so  clear  and  unambig- 
uous that  the  dullest  fellow  in  the  world  may  not  be  able 
to  mistake  it,  nor  be  obliged  to  read  it  twice  in  oinler  to 
understand  it.  This  necessary  clearness  implies  a  correct- 
ness, without  excluding  an  elegance  of  style.  In  business, 
an  elegant  simplicity,  the  result  of  care,  not  of  labor,  is 
required  ;  nor  does  it  exclude  the  usual  terms  of  politeness 
and  good  breeding,  but,  on  the  contrary  it  strictly  requires 
them."  A  writer,  after  iterating  Lord  Chesterfield's  re- 
marks, continues  :  "  The  one  principal  and  pervading  object 
of  all  communications  on  matters  of  business  is  to  convey 
the  thought  which  the  writer  is  wishing  to  impart ;  that  is 
understood  to  be  so  important,  that  it  alone  is  to  be  attended 
to,  and  all  interfering  purposes  rejected.  And,  if  this  inten- 
tion be  closely  and  freely  followed,  a  beauty  will  spring  up 
in  ^Jbe  very  plaiimcss  that  will  thereby  be  reached ;  for  **jere 


32  chestirfield's  letter- writer. 

ia  a  rare  and  essential  elegance  abiding  iu  the  barrenness 
of  mere  and  perfect  perspicuity." 

In  writing,  be  particular,  and  clear,  in  arranging  the 
subjects  of  your  letter.  Some  directions  relating  to  this 
and  appicable  to  epistolary  correspondence  in  every  variety, 
will  be  found  in  the  immediately  succeeding  Section.  Com- 
mence with  the  most  important  subject  of  your  letter.  To 
every  distinct  subject,  or  point,  allot  a  distict  paragraph. 
Long  and  involved  sentences,  or  sentences  composed  of  sev- 
eral members,  must  be  avoided.  For  the  sake  of  perspi- 
cuity, a  careful  attention  to  punctuation  is  necessary.  At 
the  close  of  your  letter,  a  short  recapitulation  of  its  leading 
contents  will  be  found  useful  :  to  your  correspondent,  in  the 
first  instance  ;  to  yourself,  in  the  second,  as  matter  of  refer- 
ence in  your  copy. 

Be  prompt  and  punctual  in  your  replies.  A  recapit- 
ulation, at  the  close  of  a  reply,  is  yet  more  desirable  than  in 
a  first  direct  communication.  **  In  this,  however,"  observes 
Anderson,  in  his  Practical  Mercantile  Correspondence, 
"  merchants  have  also  another  object,  which  is  to  render 
their  letter-books,  as  far  as  possible,  a  history  of  their  tran- 
sactions',: {(^v  the  advantage  of  ready  reference  after  a  lapse 
of  years,  and  for  production  in  court,  with  the  better  effect, 
iu  case  of  litigation.  Accordingly,  every  letter  should 
speak,  as  it  were,  for  itself,  and  give  all  the  necessary  par- 
ticulars of  the  transaction  to  which  it  refers." 

All  Letters  should  be  dated  ;  that  is,  they  should  present, 
at  either  the  head  or  conclusion,  the  year,  the  day  of  the 
month,  and  the  name  of  the  place  whence  written.  The 
date  of  a  letter  is  often  of  great  importance  in  reference — • 
especially  in  affairs  of  business.  For  the  same  purpose, 
it  is  a  good  plan  also  to  place  the  date  on  the  upper  left 
hand  corner  of  the  letter  when  folded,  preceding  the  super- 
Bcription. 

Letters  on  business  should  be  dated  at  the  head— thsit  is, 
on  the  first  page ;  together  with  the  name  and  address  of 
Mie  parties  written  to,  thus  : 

"  New  York,  April  30th,  1857 
"Messrs.  James  M.  Harris  &  Co.,  Philadelphia. 
**  Gentlemen — 

"  We  beg  to  inform  you,' '  Slc 

The  object  of   adopting  this    raovie  o^  aadrcss  is,  in 


IHS   BTTSINESS  LETTER.  83 

provide  against  accident,  or  an  attempt  at  fraud,  by  tea 
ing  off  the  superscription  of  the  letter,  or  destroying  the 
envelope  in  which  it  might  have  been  placed.  In  such  a 
case,  it  would  be  difficult  to  prove  to  whom  the  letter  might 
have  been  written  ;  consequently,  in  a  court  of  justice,  its 
production  would  be  defective  as  evidence. 

All  letters,  received  in  a  manufacturing,  mercantile,  or 
trading  establishment,  should,  when  read,  be  carefully  folded 
and  endorsed,  with  the  name  of  the  correspondent,  the  date 
of  writing,  and  the  date  of  receipt ;  with  a  blank  left  for 
the  date  of  the  answer.    For  example  : 

"  New  York,  March  10th,  1857. 

"  Williamson,  Thompson,  &  Co. 

"  Received,  March  the  12th. 
"  Answered,  ." 

^fany  persons,  not  much  accustomed  to  use  the  pen,  have 
a  notion  that  if  any  occasion  happens  to  call  for  a  letter  on 
any  business  matter,  that  they  must  at  once  compose  a 
tedious  rigmarole  of  statements  and  explanations  ;  and,  find- 
ing it  difficult  to  make  up  what  they  consider  a  "  capital 
letter,"  they  defer  writing  until  the  occasion  is  perhaps  gone, 
or  at  least  until  the  business  in  hand  has  suffered  considera- 
ble injury  by  the  delay.  But  if  they  would  divest  their 
minds  of  all  ideas  of  literary  composition,  and  just  write 
down  what  they  would  say,  and  in  the  fewest  possible  words, 
Buch  persons  would  find  business  correspondence  agreeable 
rather  than  irksome.  Thus  a  manufacturer  of  wooden 
bowls  writes  to  his  wholesale  house,  to  ask  for  an  advance  of 
cash,  and  commences  thus : 

"Sir,  * 

"  I  am  sorry  to  inform  you  that  in  consequence  of  not 
being  able  to  complete  an  order,  which  was  sent  mo  from 
some  parties  at  Albany,  and  which  ought,  and  which  I,  indeed, 
promised  to  have  completed  and  forwarded  by  the  freight  train, 
on  Wednesday  last,  but  which  I  have  not  sent  on  account  of 
being  so  short.  I  could  not  go  into  the  market  for  wood,  and 
therefore  could  not  complete  the  order,  and  am  obliged  reluc- 
tantly to  request  of  you  to  be  so  kind  .as  to  oblige  me  with  aa 
advance  by  cash  of  one  hundred  dollars,  on  account  of  the 
orders  I  have  in  hand  for  you,  and  which  I  shall  be  able,  if  you 
can  do  me  the  favor  of  obliging  me  with  one   hundred  doliarg. 


r4  chesterfiei.d's  letter-writes. 

( f  forwarding  without  fail  on  Tuesday  next,  and  ehall  remalr 
5  Dur  humble  and  obedient  servant. 

Turner  Woodenhead.* 

When  his  employer  receives  this  he  will  look  hard  at  it 
tl  rough  his  spectacles,  read  a  few  lines,  then  put  it  dowm 
and  take  it  up  again,  growing  testy  as  he  proceeds,  and  at 
last  toss  it  across  the  desk  to  his  clerk,  saying,  "Hero. 
Crampton,  I  can't  read  Woodenhead's  letter  ;  just  make  it 
out  and  answer  it ;  it's  as  bad  as  having  to  read  the  supple- 
ment to  a  newspaper  to  have  a  letter  of  his  come  in." 

Would  not  our  friend  tremble  to  see  his  request  for  one 
hundred  dollars  on  account  handed  over  to  a  junior  clerk, 
perhaps  to  be  forgotten  for  a  day  or  two,  or  explained  to 
the  principal  in  such  a  careless  way  as  to  insure  for  it  either 
no  reply  at  all  or  one  in  the  negative  ?  Let  him,  therefore, 
write  a  short,  plain  letter,  thus  : 

**  9  Ann  Street,  New  York,  July  27,  1856. 

**  Sir, — I  find  myself  much  pressed  for  cash,  and  have  some  or- 
ders from  a  house  at  Albany,  which  should  have  been  completed 
by  Wednesday  last,  besides  the  goods  which  are  in  progress  for 
you.  As  I  have  not  ready  money  sufficient  for  the  purchase 
of  wood,  will  you  kindly  advance  me  one  hundred  dollars  on 
account  ?  That  would  enable  me  to  complete  and  deliver  the 
goods  I  have  in  hand  for  you,  by  Tuesday  next,  as  well  as  those 
referred  to  for  the  house  at  Albany.  As  the  case  is  an  urgent 
one,  I  have  no  doubt  you  will  confer  such  a  favor  on  yours 
abedien4;ly,  Turner  Woodenhead. 

"To  Mr.  Longpurse,  Pearl  Street." 

iVTien  friendly  matters  are  mixed  up  with  business,  such 
ifcS  an  invitation  to  tea,  and  an  order  for  soap  ;  or  a  proposal 
for  a  drive,  and  a  request  for  payment  of  an  accourrt ;  the 
several  matters  should  be  stated  in  distinct  paragraphs,  not 
jumbled  together,  as  if  the  ideas  were  first  shaken  up  in  a 
hat,  and  then  turned  out  in  a  heap,  according  to  the  caprices 
of  chance.  State  your  business  proposals  plainly,  and  your 
friendly  greetings  kindly,  and  let  friendship  always  take 
precedence,  else  it  will  appear  that  your  invitation  or  com- 
pliment is  a  mere  make-weight  or  an  afterthought  intended 
to  preserve  a  profitable  connection ;  though,  as  a  rule,  the  less 
business  and  friendship  are  mixed  together,  the  better  for 
all  paaies. 


THE   BUSINESS  LETTER.  2» 

The   following  arc  some  capital  examples  of  Bii&ine«ja 
Letters : 

To  a  Merchant  proposing  to  open  an  Account. 

Cincinnati,  Feb.  7th,  18—. 

Sir, — My  friend,  Mr. ofB street,  has  spoken  cf 

you  in  terms  of  high  recommendation ;  so  much  so,  indeed, 
that  having   found   reason  to  withdraw  my  orders  from  my 

late  ,  I  am  disposed  to  open  an  account  with  your  firm. 

You  will  therefore  nmch  oblige  me  by  forwarding  a  list  of 
prices,  together  with  other  necessary  particulars  as  to  yo¥Lr 
manner  of  doing  business. 

I  am,  Sir, 

Your  obedient  servant, 
To  Mr. .  ( ). 


Do.  to  a  Publisher's  Firm. 

Chicago,  May  3d,  18—. 
Gentlemen, — As  our  business  is  rapidly  on  the  increafee, 
we  are  desirous  of  opening  an  account  with  your  house,  blJ 
phall  feel  obliged  by  your  transmitting  us  a  trade  list  of  your 
publications,  as  well  as  some  of  your  general  catalogue* 
Our  usual  terms  of  settlement  are  as  follows  {here  state  them)< 
Should  they  be  agreeable  to  your  house,  the  favor  of  an  e*i  - 
attention  to  our  request  will  oblige, 
Gentlemen, 

Your  obedient  servants, 

( &  — 

To  Messrs. &  Co. 


To  a  Firmj  seeking  a  Clerkship. 

Broadway,  April  4th,  18—. 

Gentlemen, — Perceiving  by  your  advertisement   in   tho 

of ,  that  you  are  in  want  of  a  clerk,  1  beg  to  enclose 

testimonials,  and  venture  to  hope  that  from  my  previous  ex 
perience  in  tlie  line  of  business  you  pursue,  I  sliould  be  of 
some  use  in  your  establishment.  My  habits  of  life  are  such  as 
to  ii  sure  regularity  in  the  discharge  of  my  duties,  and  1  can 
only  assure  you  that,  should  you  honor  me  with  your  confi 
deuce,  I  shall  spare  no  pains  to  acquit  myself  to  your  satisfafe- 
tion.  I  remain,  Gentlemen, 

Your  obedient  Sei*vant, 

1o  Messrs. .  ( \ 


3$  CHESTERFIELD'S  LETTER-WRITER. 

A  Tesiimonial  on  heludf  of  a  similar  applkant. 

Albany,  April  3d,  IB — . 

GtNTLEMEN, — Finding  that  Mr. is  an  applicant  for  ft 

fcituation  as  clerk,  I  beg  to  say  a  few  v/ords   on   his  beLaif. 

During  the years  he  was  in  my  employ,  I  found   him 

diligent  and  conscientious  in  the  discharge  of  his  duties,  re- 
markably clever  in  correspondence,  and  correct  in  the  manage- 
»aient  of  my  books.  Indeed,  nothing  but  my  retiring  from 
business  would  have  induced  me  to  part  with  him,  and  1  firmly 
believe  that  both  his  personal  character,  and  his  thorough 
knowledge  of  business,  will  render  him  a  valuable  acquisition 
to  your  firm. 

I  remain.  Gentlemen, 

Yours  most  obediently. 
To  Messrs. .  ( ). 


To  a  Correspondent  J  requesting  the  payment  of  a  sum  of  Money 

New  York,  April  12th,  18—. 

Sir, — Although  the  balance  of  the  account  between  us  hag 
been  of  long  standing  in'  my  favor,  yet  I  would  not  have  ap- 
plied to  you  at  present,  had  not  a  very  unexpected  demand 
been  made  upon  me  for  a  considerable  sum,  which,  without 
your  assistance,  it  will  not  be  in  my  power  to  answer.  When 
I  have  an  opportunity  of  seeing  you,  I  shall  then  inform  you 
of  the  nature  of  this  demand,  and  the  necessity  of  my  dis- 
charging it.  I  hope  you,  will  excuse  me  this  freedom,  which 
nothing  but  a  regard  to  my  credit  and  family  could  oblige  me 
to  take.  If  it  does  not  suit  you  to  remit  the  whole,  part  wil3 
be' thankfully  received  by 

Y^'ours  very  respectfully, 

To ( ) 


Delaying  the  Payment  of  a  Debt, 

Charleston,  June  15th,  18 — . 
Gentlemen, — I  much  regret  that  circumstances  prevent  my 
t>eing  as  punctual  as  is  my  wont,  and  hope  you  will  kindly 
renew  the  acceptance  j^ou  hold  of  mine  for  another  three 
months.  The  failure  of  a  person  largely  indebted  to  me,  and 
lome  other  losses  in  business,  have  caused  me  severe  incon- 
venience, and  I  really  must  depend  upon  your  leniency  as  on© 
means  to  enable  me  to  recover  myself. 
I  remain,  Gentlemen, 

Your  obedient  and  faithful  servant, 
lo  Messrs. • ) 


THE   BUSINESS  LETTER.  m 

AnotJier  on  the  same  subject. 

Memphis,  Jan.  14th,  13 — . 
8iR, — I  must  really  beg  of  you  to  defer  the  pettlemeDt  of 
?  >ur  account  till  after  the  middle  of  next  month,  when  I  shall 
bo  in  a  condition  to  meet  your  demand,  liegrettinjs:  that  cir. 
cumstances  prevent  my  being  more  prompt  in  attending  to 
your  wishes,  I  remain,  Sir, 

Your  obedient  servant, 
To  Mr. .  f    -    — ) 


A^ioiher  on  the  same  subject, 

Louisville,  August  7th,  18 — . 
iSiR, — ^Your  account,  amounting  to  ,  has  indeed  re- 
mained some  time  unsettled,  but  disappointments  of  a  pecu- 
niary nature,  to  which  I  need  not  more  particularly  allude, 
will  prevent  my  liquidating  it  for  some  time  to  come,  perhaps 
ttiree  months,  but  the  payment  will  not  exceed  that  period. 
I  fom  the  pressing  language  of  your  application,  I  am  dispofted 
to  think  that  a  promissory  note  for  that  time  may  be  of  service 
to  you,  in  being  negotiable;  if  so,  I  have  no  objection  to  gi^« 
it,  and  will  be  prepared  to  honor  it  when  duly  presented. 
I  am,  Sir, 

Your  obedient  servant 
To  Mr. .  ( -) 


A  Gentleman  desi/ring  the  Renewal  of  a  Note  of  Hand^ 

Milwaukie,  August  3d,  18 — . 

Sir, — My  note  of  hand,  (or  accojjtance,)  will  be  due  on  th# 
28th  instant,  but  I  regret  to  say  that,  owing  to  circumstances 
beyond  my  control,  I  fear  that  I  shall  not  be  able  to  meet  it. 
May  I  therefore  request  that  you  will  grant  me  the  indulgence 
of  a  short  renewal  of  (six  weeks),  when  I  doubt  not  of  my 
means  to  take  it  up.  Your  compliance  with  this  wish  wiL 
confer  an  obligation  upon,  Sir, 

Your  very  obedient  servant. 

To  Mr  .  (- ), 

Proposing  to  open  an  Account, 

San  Francisco,  Nov.  30th,  18— . 
Hentlfjow, — Having  succeeded   to  the  business  formerly 

carried  on  by  Messrs. >,  we  are  desirous  o^  entering  into  i 

4 


t8  chesterfield's  letter-writbr. 

egotiation  with  your  house  for  the  supply  of  — -.  We  may 
;  \cntion  that  busitiebs  is  happily  very  brisk  at  preeeut,  aud 
("lat,  having  iiiaierially  increased  our  connection  in  bacramento, 
( Oregon,  «&c.,  we  flatter  ourselves  that  we  could  be  very  in- 

Bviimiental  in  increasing  the  sale  of ,    We  are  encouraged 

tc  i»ake  this  application  from  knowing  that  you  were  formerly 

in  the  practice  of  transacting  business  with  Messrs. in 

thii  way. 

We  have,  in  the  mean  time,  forwarded  through  Messrs.  — <- 

a  pretty  extensive  order  for  your ,  by  which  you  will  po' 

ceive  the  nature  of  the  articles  most  in  demand.  V/e  would 
suggest,  in  the  event  of  your  acceding  to  our  application,  that 

a  supply  of  your be  sent  to  us,  say-  every  six  weeks  or 

two  months,  to  the  extent  of  about  ^500.  We  mention  this 
sum  at  present,  but  hope,  when  the  trial  has  been  made,  and 
we  find  ourselves  in  a  position  regularly  to  supply  our  country 
agents,   to   have   it  extended   to  twice  or  three   times  that 

amount.    Mr. ,  who  returns  to  your  city  in  the  course  of  a 

month  or  two,  will  give  you  every  satisfaction  as  to  our  name 
and  position,  but  in  the  meantime  we  beg  to  refer  you  to 
Messrs. ,  or  to  Messrs. & . 

We  trust  the  order  we  have  now  sent  will  be  executed  wiih 

all  speed,  and  on  presentation  of  the  invoice  to  Messrs. , 

they  vvili  give  you  a  cheque  for  the  amount,  as  well  as  advice 
by  what  vessel  to  ship  the  goods. 

We  are,  Gentlemen, 

Yours  obediently, 
( & ). 

To  Mesi<>s. &  Co.,  New  York. 


FAMILY  EPISTOLARY  CORRESPONDENCE. 

All  intercourse  between  parents  and  children,  whether'' 
colloquial  or  epistolary,  should  be  free  and  confidential. 
The  heart,  more  especially  of  the  child  to  the  parent,  should 
be  laid  open  without  reserve.  There  ought  to  be  no  half 
confidences.  No  friend  can  feel  so  deeply  interested  for 
another's  welfare  as  fathers  and  mothers  for  that  of  their 
own  offspring.  Few  are  so  well  qualified  to  advise — to 
make  allowance  for  the  errors  of  youth — to  judge  with 
candor — to  censure  with  mildness — to  point  out  the  right 
path,  or  to  reclaim  from  the  wrong  one.  There  is  no 
subject  upon  which  either  son  or  daughter  can  have  even  a 
chance  of  consulting  another  with  so  much  advantage  as  a 
parent.     Father*  and  sons,  mothers  and  daughters,  should 


FAMILY   EPISTOLARY   CORRESBONDENCE.  8^ 

be  the  warm,  ingenTious,  peculiar  friends  of  one  another ; 
blending  the  strongest  ties  of  nature  with  the  fondest  affeo 
tions  of  the  heart — improving  and  strengthening,  expand- 
'ing,  and  heightening  each.  On  present  feelings  and  circum- 
stances,  on  future  pi  ospects,  whom  can  the  son  consult  with 
BO  much  propriety  as  his  father — the  daughter  as  her 
mother?  In  cases  which  admit  of  the  combined  consultar 
tion-T-and  there  are  few  that  do  not — the  advantage  is  more 
than  doubled  to  the  child. 

Next  to  the  confidence  between  parents  and  children, 
ought  to  be  that  between  brothers  and  sisters — the  tender- 
est,  holiest,  most  sympathetic  affection. 

If  I  may  so  express  myself,  I  love  to  see  fathers  and 
sons,  as  brothers — mothers  and  daughters,  as  sisters ;  and 
this  affection  may  exist  in  full  force  without  in  the  slightest 
degree  infringing  the  relative  duties  between  parent  and 
child.  To  create,  however,  where  it  may  not  exist  natu- 
rally, the  habit  of  ingenuousness  and  confidence  in  a  child— 
to  foster  and  to  cherish  it  where  beautiful  promise  is  given 
from  the  birth — the  parent  should  act  with  corresponding 
frankness  and  affection.  Virtue  elicits  virtue  as  surely  as  its 
opposite  engenders  vice.  To  the  neglect  or  unconsciousness 
of  this  great  truth  must  be  ascribed  much  of  that  coldness, 
reserve,  and  estrangement  which  too  often  subsist  in  even 
well-disposed  families. 

It  is  an  old  saying — and,  like  many  other  old  sayings,  it 
requires  to  be  accepted  with  due  qualification — that  "  fami- 
liarity breeds  contempt."  In  my  view,  this  does  not  hold 
good  amongst  well-regulated  minds.  On  the  contrary,  I 
consider  that  perfect  respect  is  compatible  with  much  fami- 
liarify.  Form,  ceremony,  and  etiquette,  unless  held  in  wise 
subordination,  are  very  chilling  in  the  social  and  affectionate 
intercourse  of  life,  especially  amongst  relations  and  intimate 
friends.  Formerly,  it  was  the  practice  for  pupils  to  be 
taught,  when  adressing  their  parents  in  the  epistolary  form, 
to  commence  with  the  words,  "  Honored  Sir,"  or  "  Madam," 
**  Honored  Parent,"  &c.  Much  better,  I  conceive,  and 
without  abating  one  iota  of  veneration  or  respect,  to  say, 
"  My  dear  Father,"  or  "  Mother" — or,  "  My  dear  anci 
'  honored  Father" — **  My  dearly  beloved  Mother,"  &c.,  ac- 
cording to  circumstance  and  feeling. 

However,  as,  in  the  present  Section,  I  ara  writing  for  the 
Instruction  and  benefit  of  youth,  upon  their  entrance  into 


#0  chesterfield's   LETTER-VfRITER.  * 

life,  rather  than  for   children  still  under  the  discipline  of 
school,  enough  has  been  said  upon  this  head. 

Forms  are,  indeed,  of  comparatively  little  importance. 

"If  you  reside  at  a  distance  from  your  family — parents,' 
brothers,  sisters,  dear  and  estimable  friends — write  to  them 
frequently,  and  at  stated  periods ;  weekly,  fortnightly, 
monthly,  as  circumstances  may  allow  ;  but-— be  punctual. 
Under  the  new  postage  system,  no  excuse  can  be  admitted 
on  the  plea  of  e^^pense.  By  the  establishment  of  periodical 
times  for  writing,  you  know  when  to  write,  and  when  to  ex- 
pect a  letter ;  all  fruitless  expectation,  anxiety,  and  expense, 
will  thus  be  avoided.  Correspondence  between  friends  and 
relations  is,  in  every  respect,  more  valuable,  interesting,  use- 
ful, and  pleasant  to  all  parties,  for  being  regular  and  punc- 
tual. In  such  cases  you  need  not  be  parsimonious  of  words 
or  sentences.  Avoiding  mere  verbiage,  express  your  feel- 
ings in  the  same  easy,  cheerful  manner,  that  you  would  use, 
were  you  at  home  and  entertaining  the  family  circle  with 
the  incidental  converse  of  the  day.  By  this  plan  you  will 
enjoy  the  additional  advantage  of  cultivating  some  of  the 
sweetest  and  noblest  virtues  of  the  human  heart.  But  do 
not  get  into  the  worse  than  useless  habit,  of  corresponding 
with  those  from  whose  communications  you  derive  neit-her 
pleasure  nor  profit." 

Examples,  here,  are  hardly  necessary ;  yet  I  have  a  fe^v 
before  me,  which,  for  their  intrinsic  merits  and  character- 
istic propriety,  are  well  entitled  to  perusal.  The  first  is  a 
penitential  letter  from  a  youth,  who  had  unwisely  abandoned 
his  home,  relinquishing  higher  prospects,  and  adopting  the 
stage  as  a  profession,  to  his  uncle.  The  writer  was  Elliston, 
afterwards  celebrated  as  a  comedian ;  the  gentleman  ad- 
dressed, Dr.  Elliston,  Master  of  Sidney  College,  Cambridge 

Sir, — However  dismayed  I  find  myself  in  this  undertaking. 
and  however  ashamed  I  feel  at  my  conduct  towards  you,  yet  1 
know  the  attempt  to  gain  your  forgiveness  is  a  duty.  I  havo 
taken  courage,  therefore,  to  proceed  Fearful  as  I  have  rea- 
son to  be  of  your  anger — how  shall  I  address  you — or  what 
can  I  allege  ?  I  can  see  no  middle  state  hetw^een  that  of  the 
beloved  nephew  (as  I  have  a  thousand  proofs  to  know  I  once 
was)  and  the  discarded  Robert  Elliston.  If  but  a  faint  ray 
of  hope  would  break  in  to  lead  me  to  suppose  I  shou\l  ever  re- 
gain your  confidence  and  esteem,  I  should  then  indeed  bo 
happy.  Of  my  transgressions,  let  me  confess,  I  am  truly 
deeply  sensible.  .        \ 


FAMILY    EPISTOLARY    CORRESPONDENCE.  41 

UnfortuTiHtely  for  me,  the  profession  I  have  chorsn  by  no 
means  meets  with  the  concurrence  of  even  my  general  triends, 
and  the  world  at  large  has  hitherto  held  it  in  the  light  of  con- 
tempt. •  What  was  the  iiifutuation  wliich  first  prompted  me  to 
Bwerve  from  the  path  of  wisdom  and  rectitude  wiiich  you  had 
pointed  out,  I  know  not.  H«d  I  followed  that,  I  might  have 
made  a  more  reputable  stand  in  life;  at  any  rate,  moving  in  a 
circle  more  honored  than  that  into  which  I  have  thrown  my- 
eelf.  But  it  is  not  for  me  to  ag-gravate  my  misfortunes ;  my 
task  should  rather  be  to  reconcile  them.  If  I  succeed  in  re- 
moving any  portion  of  your  anger,  1  more  than  repay  myself; 
if  not,  it  is  at  least  a  trifling  evidence  of  my  affection,  though 
repaying  not  a  thousandth  part  of  what  I  am  indebted  to  .you. 
Mitigate,  I  pray  you,  your  resentment.  My  most  ,,Ranguine 
hopes  do  not  hint  at  sudden,  or  perhaps  at  any  period,  entire 
forgiveness.  Suffer  me  to  write  to  you  now  and  then — to  feel 
that  I  am  addressing  you — to  relieve  my  aching  heart,  by  as- 
suring you  how  I  love  and  honor  you.  May  I  entreat,  too,  you 
will  not  let  my  mother  participate  with  me  in  your  anger.  1 
declare  to  you  she  is  blameless  in  respect  of  this  step  1  have 
taken. 

Imperfectly  as  I  may  have  written,  I  still  venture  to  send 
you  this  sincere  confessi'^u  ;  but  no  attempt  at  extenuation  of 
my  conduct.  Your  justice  I  must  ever  fear;  in  your  mercy  I 
may  have  hope. 

Your  affectionate  and  contrite  nephew, 
R.  W.  EllistoJt. 

York,  April  6th,  1792. 

My  second  example,  of  a  character  widely  diifcrent,  now 
for  the  first  time  meets  the  public  eye.  It  is  a  letter*  written 
from  a  young  man  to  his  brother,  after  the  loss  of  their 
pister  ;  and,  in  allusion  tc  a  little  difference  which  had  unfor- 
tunately existed,  it  is  distinguished  by  a  naturalness,  a 
pathos,  a  correctness  and  purity  of  affectionate  sorrow  and 
regret,  which  cannot  but  be  deeply  felt. 

"  My  dear  Brother, — I  should  earlier  have  acknowledged 
the  receipt  of  your  letter,  but,  at  the  time  when  due,  I  heard 
that  you  also  w^ere  standing  in  the  shadow  of  that  cloud  which 
oad  darkened  our  tsland  home ;  and,  in  such  cases,  filenee  is 
yi'ten  far  more  acceptable  than  any  word-offering  can  be.  For 
a  reason  akin  to  this,  I  will  not  here  say  much  of  that  sorrow 
which  we  must  mutually  feel.  I  can  grieve,  and  that  deeply 
the  sad  necessity  which  crushed,  in  the  very  bloom  of  existence, 
the  being  of  one  so  admirably  natured,  both  for  the  adornment 


<2  chesterfield's  letter- writer. 

4nd  enjoyment  of  life.  Yet,  as  death  was  the  only  escape 
from  all  the  giief,  and  pain,  and  disease  which  haunted  her 
lat«r  years,  I  must  rejoice  that  it  at  last  overtook  her.  She  is 
now  where  no  echo  frgm  this  world  can  reach  her ;  and  rests 
well,  I  hope,- after  her  most  weary  pilgrimage.  The  kindly 
mention  you  make  of  hei  is  an  earnest  that  she  was  not  for- 
patten ;  and  with  you,  I  regret  those  circumstances  which  made 
you,  for  a  season,  comparative  strangers.  What  they  were^  I 
never  rightly  understood,  nor  would  it  answer  any  purpose 
now  to  inquire.  All  I  can  say  is,  that  I  ever  found  the  dear 
lost  one  a  creature  of  most  perfect  disinterestedness,  and  can 
call  to  mind  no  action  of  her  life  which  bore  the  impress  of 
caprice  or  selfishness;  1  therefore  conclude,  that,  whatever 
the  facts  were,  a  very  strong  impression  must  have  existed 
in  her  mind,  that  slight  had  been  intended ;  how  generated, 
of  course  impossible  for  me  to  say.  But  you  must  bo  well 
aware,  that  the  morbid  fancies  of  invalids  too  frequently  imag^- 
ine  offence  where  none  might  have  been  intended.  A  few 
words  would  probably  have  explained  all.  Be  it,  however,  as 
it  may,  you  are  not  one,  I  know,  to  think  much  of  this  now ; 
and,  if  there  were  blame,  it  will  be  more  charitable  and  humane 
to  lay  it  to  the  account  of  the  living  than  of  the  dead. 

*'  It  was  her  intention  to  acknowledge  the  receipt  of  your 
marridge  cards.  Therefore,  think  of  her  as  if  that  intention 
had  been  really  executed  ;  as  though  the  olive-branch  had 
been  actually  extended.  Inability  and  death  alone  prevented 
her  pcace-oliering  from  reaching  you." 


We  give  the  following  real  letter  as  a  very  pleasing 
model  and  specimen  of  style  : 


" College,  Tuesday  Evening 

"  My  dear  Mother, 

"  Though  I  am  now  sitting  with  my  back  towards  you, 
tet  I  love  you  none  the  less;  and,  what  is  quite  as  strange,  I 
oan  see  you  just  as  plainly  as  if  I  stood  peeping  in  upon  you. 
[  can  see  you  all  just  as  you  sit  round  the  family  table.  Tel' 
fl\e  if  I  do  not  see  you  ?  There  is  mother,  on  the  right  of  tht 
iable,  with  her  knittuig,  and  a  book  open  before  her  ;  and  anon 
she  glances  her  eye  from  the  work  on  paper  to  that  on  her 
needles;  now  counts  the  stitches, and  then  puts  the  eye  on  her 
book,  and  starts  off  for  another  round.  There  is  Mary,  looking 
wise,  and  sewing  with  all  her  might,  now  and  then  stopping  t^ 
iive  Sarah  and  Louisa  a  lift  in  cetting  their  lessons,  and  trying 


FAMILY   EPISTOLARY   CORRESrONDENCE.  43 

to  initiate  them  in  the  myeteriee  of  geog^raphy.  She  is  on  the 
left  side  of  the  table.  TheVe,  iii  the  background,  is  silent 
Joseph,  with  his  slate,  now  uiakii  g  a  mark,  and  then  biting 
his  lip,  or  scratching  his  head,  to  see  if  algebraic  expression 
may  have  hidden  in  either  of  those  places.  George  is  in  the 
kitchen,  tinkering  his  skates,  or  contriving  a  trap  for  that  old 
offender,  the  rat,  whose  cunning  has  so  long  brought  mortifica- 
tion upon  all  his  boasting.  I  can  now  hear  his  hammer  and 
his  whistle — that  peculiar  sucking  sort  of  wliistle,  which  always 
indicates  a  puzzled  state  of  brain.  Little  William  and  Henry 
are  snug  in  bed,  aad,  if  you  will  just  open  their  bedroom  door, 
you  will  barely  hear  them  breathe.  And  now  mother  has 
stopped,  and  is  absent  and  thoughtful,  and  my  heart  tells  me 
&he  is  thinking  of  her  only  absent  child.  "VVho  can  he  be  ? 
Will  you  doubt  any  more  that  I  have  studied  magic,  and  can 
see  with  my  back  turned  to  you,  and  many  a  hill  and  valley 
between  us  ? 

"  You  have  been  even  kinder  than  I  expected,  or  you  prom- 
ised. I  did  not  expect  to  hear  from  you  till  to-moiTow,  at  the 
earliest.  But,  as  I  was  walking  to-day,  one  of  my  class-mates 
cried,  'A  bundle  for  you  at  the  stage-office  !  '  and  awav  I  went, 
as  fast  as  the  dignity  of  a  sophomore  would  allow  me.  The 
bundle  I  seized,  and  muffled  it  under  ray  cloak,  though  it  made 
my  arm  ache,  and,  with  as  much  speed  as  my  *  conditions  ' 
would  permit  me,  I  reached  my  room.  Out  came  my  knife, 
and  forgetting  all  your  good  advice  about '  strings  and  frag- 
ments,' the  said  bundle  quickly  owned  me  victor,  and  opened 
its  very  heart  to  me ;  and  it  proved  a  warm  heart,  too,  for  there 
were  the  stockings  (they  are  now  on  my  feet,  i  e.,  one  pair), 
and  there  were  the  flannels,  and  the  bosoms,  and  the  gloves, 
and  the  pincushion  fnun  Louisa,  and  the  needle-book  from 
Sarah,  and  the  paper  from  Mary,  and  the  letters  and  love  from 
all  of  you.  I  spread  open  my  treasures,  and  both  my  heart 
and  feet  danced  for  joy,  while  my  hands  actually  rubbed  each 
other  out  of  sympathy.  Thanks  to  you  all  for  a  bundle,  letters 
and  love.  One  corner  of  my  eye  is  now  moistened,  while,  I 
say,  'Thank  ye  all,  gude  folks.'  I  must  not  forget  to  mention 
the  apples — *  the  six  apples,  one  from* each  ' — and  the  beautiful 
little  loaf  of  cake.  I  should  not  dare  to  call  it,  *  little,'  if  it  had 
not  brought  the  name  from  you.  The  apples  I  have  smelled 
©f  and  the  cake  I  have  just  nibbled  a  little,  and  pronounced  it 
to  be  *  in  the  finest  taste.' 

"  Now,  a  word  about  your  letters.  1  cannot  say  much,  for  I 
have  only  road  mother' s  three  times,  and  Mary's  twice.  Those 
parts  which  relate  to'  my  own  acts  and  doings  greatly  edify  me. 
Kight  glad  am  I  to  find  that  the  spectacles  fitted  mother's  eyet 


iA  chesterfield's  letter-writer. 

fo  well.  You  wondered  how  I  hit  it  Why,  ha^e  I  not  been 
told  frora  ray  very  babyhood,  '  You  have  your  mother's  eyes'/' 
And  what  is  plainer  than  that,  if  I  have  her  eyes,  I  can  pit'k 
out  glasses  that  will  suit  them  ?  I  am  glad,  too,  that  the  new 
ook  is  a  favorite.  I  shall  have  to  depend  on  you  to  read  for 
DO,  for  here  I  read  nothing  but  my  lexicon,  and,  perad^entur.e, 
dip  into  mathematics.  John's  knife  shall  be  forthcoming,  and 
the  orders  of  William  and  Henry  shall  be  honored,  if  the 
apothecary  has  the  pigments. 

"  I  suppose  the  pond  is  all  frozen  over,  and  the  skating  good. 
I  know  it  is  foolish,  yet,  if  mother  and  Mary  had  skated  as 
many  *  moony  '  nights  as  I  have,  they  would  sigh,  not  at  the 
thought,  but  at  the  fact,  that  skating  days  are  over.  Never 
was  a  face  more  bright  and  beautiful  than  the  face  of  that 
pond  in  a  clear,  cold  night,  under  a  full  moon.  Do  the  boys 
go  down  by  my  willow  still  ?  and  do  they  still  have  the  flag  on 
the  little  island  in  the  centre,  where  I  use-d  to  rear  the  flag  staff 
once  a  year?  I  was  going  to  tell  you  all  about  college.  But 
when  1  think  I  will  begin,  pop!  my  thoughts  are  all  at  home! 
What  a  place  home  is  !  I  would  not  now  exchange  ours  for 
wealth  enough  to  make  you  all  kings  and  queens. 

"  I  am  warm,  well  and  comfortable  ;  we  all  study  and  dull 
fellows,  like  me  have  to  confess  that  we  study  hard.  We  have 
no  genius  to  help  us.  My  chum  is  a  good  fellow ;  he  now  sits 
in  yonder  comer,  his  feet  poised  upon  the  stove  in  such  a  way 
that  the  dullness  Kcems  to  have  all  rim  out  of  his  heels  into 
his  head,  for  he  is  fast  asleep. 

"  I  have  got  it  framed,  and  there  it  hangs — the  picture  of 
my  father  !  I  never  look  up  without  seeing  it,  and  I  never 
see  it  without  thinking  that  my  mother  is  a  widow,  and  that  I 
am  her  eldest  son.  What  more  I  think  I  will  not  be  fool 
enough  to  say  :  you  will  imagine  better  than  I  can  say  it. 

"  Your  gentle  hint,  dear  mother,  about  leaving  my  Bible  at 
home,  was  kind  ;  but  it  will  relieve  you  to  know  that  I  left  it 
designedly,  and,  in  its  place,  took  my  dear  father's  from  the 
upper  shelf,  in  our  little  hbrary  room,  and,  what  is  more,  1 
read  it  every  day. 

'*  I  need  not  say,  writb  !  write !  for  I  know  that  some  of 
vou  will  at  the  end  of  three  weeks.  But  love  to  you  all,  and 
much,  too.  I  shall  tell  you  of  my  methods  of  economy  in  my 
uext. 

"  Your  affectionate  son,  4&c." 

Can  any  of  my  readers  d^^ubt  that  a  letter  like  the 
above  would  do  much  to  alleviate  the  anxiety  of  the  mother, 
aud  add  greatly  to  the  comfort  of  the  family  ?    Every  sou 


FAMILY   EPISTOLARY   CORRESPONDENCE.  40 

can  show  such  attention,  and  at  the  same  time  keep  his  own 
heart  warm  with  the  remembrances  of  home  and  kindred. 
It  will  add  to  your  ease  in  letter-writing,  and  it  will  culti- 
vate some  of  the  noblest  and  sweetest  virtues  of  which  tha 
heart  is  susceptible. 

Our  next  specimen  is  a  letter  written  by  the  elegant  and 
accomplished  Lord  Chesterfield  to  his  son* 

"  Dear  Boy  ; 

"  Your  letters,  except  when  upon  a  given  subject, 
are  exceedingly  laconic,  and  neither  answer  my  desires,  nor  the 
purpose  of  letters:  which  should  be  familiar  conversations  be- 
tween absent  friends.  As  I  desire  to  live  with  you  upon  the 
footing  of  an  intimate  friend,  and  not  of  a  parent,  I  could  wish 
that  your  letters  gave  me  more  particular  accounts  of  yourself, 
and  of  your  lesser  transactions.  When  you  write  to  me,  sup- 
pose yourself  conversing  freely  with  me,  by  the  fireside.  lu 
that  case,  you  would  naturally  mention  the  incidents  of  the  day, 
.  as  where  you  had  been,  whom  you  had  seen,  what  you  thought 
of  them,  etc.  Do  this  in  your  letters:  acquaint  me  sometimes 
with  your  studies,  sometimes  with  your  diversions  ;  tell  me  of 
any  new  person  and  characters  that  you  meet  with  in  company, 
and  add  your  own  observations  upon  them  ;  in  short,  let  me  see 
more  of  you  in  your  letters.  How  do  you  go  on  with  Lord 
Pulteney ;  and  how  does  he  go  on  at  Leipzig  ?  Has  he  learn- 
ing, has  he  parts,  has  he  application  ?  Is  he  good  or  ill- 
natured  ?  In  short,  what  is  he  ;  at  least,  what  do  you  think  of 
him  ?  You  may  tell  me  without  reserve,  for  I  promise  secrecy. 
You  are  now  of  an  ftge  that  I  am  desirous  of  beginning  a  con- 
fidential correspondvjuce  with  you ;  and,  as  I  shall  on  my  part 
write  you  very  freely  my  opinions  upon  men  and  things,  which 
I  should  often  be  very  unwilling  that  anybody  but  you  or  Mr. 
Harte  should  see  ;  so  on  your  part,  if  yuu  write  me  without 
reserve,  you  may  depend  upon  my  inviolable  secrecy.-  If  you 
have  ever  looked  into  the  letters  of  Madame  de  Sevigne  to 
her  daughter,  Madame  de  Grignan,  you  must  have  observed  the 
ease,  freedom,  dud  friendship  of  that  correspondence ;  and  yet 
I  hope  and  believe,  that  they  did  not  love  one  another  bette 
than  we  do.  Tell  me  what  books  you  are  now  reading,  eith.o 
by  way  "^f  study  or  amusement ;  how  you  pass  your  evening! 
whei  »i  home,  and  where  you  pass  them  when  abroad." 


id  chesterfield's  letter-writer. 

John  Randolph  of  Roamke,  to  hia  Nephew, 

"  Bizarre,  Sept.  11, 130^. 
*»  My  dear  Theodore  : 

"  I  thank  you  for  your  letter  which  I 
eceived  post  before  last.  Present  my  respects  to  Dr.  Haller 
nd  tell  him  I  will  be  obliged  to  him  to  procure  you  shirti?, 
handkerchiefs,  and  such  other  things  as  as  you  may  stand  in 
need  of. 

"  We  do  not  say  'scarcely  nothing,''  but  anything.  Give  my 
love  to  Buona,  and  tell  him  that  I  shall  forward  his  letter  td 
his  brother  immediately  ;  but  tell  him  also  that  Si^  tolerable 
long  letter  is  intolerable  English.  He  should  have  used  the 
adverb  (tolerably)  instead  of  the  adjective.  I  wish  that, 
instead  of  a  fictitious  correspondent,  you  would  address  your 
letters — I  mean  those  which  Dr.  Haller  requires  you  to  writo 
weekly — to  some  one  of  your  friends  and  acquamtance.  It 
would  take  off  from  them  the  air  of  stiffness  which  now  char- 
acterizes them.  If  Buona  had  been  describing  Richmond  to 
his  mother  or  myself,  he  would  never  have  introduced  it  with, 
'  I  beg  leave  to  wait  upon  you ;'  an  awkward  exordium,  which  . 
even  Mr.  Expectation,  of  Norfolk,  would  not  approve.  You 
see,  my  sons,  that  I  make  very  free  with  your  performances  : 
but  do  not  let  this  discourage  you.  Write  your  letters  just  as 
you  think  them,  and  they  will  be  easy  ;  and  any  inaccuracy 
which  creeps  in  may  be  afterwards  corrected. 

"  The  partridges  are  so  forward  that  we  have  begun  to  shoot 
nearly  a  month  earlier  than  usual.  Carlo  is  an  »^xcellent  dog 
for  bringing  birds  after  they  are  shot,  but  not  so  ^ood  for  find 
ing  game.  I  wish  you  were  with  me,  my  sons,  to  enjoy  the 
sport.  Your  skill,  my  dear  Theodore,  would  make  amends  for 
my  clumsiness,  and  dear  Buona  would  hold  Minik'-^n,  who  now 
runs  away  from  uncle  whenever  she  has  an  opportunity.  But 
thank  God,  my  children,  you  are  more  profitab'y  engaged. 
This  alone  reconciles  me  to  the  loss  of  your  society.  I  hopf  to 
see  you  both  about  the  last  of  this  month. 

*•■  Mother  has  had  an  ague,  and  Sally  very  sore  fivgers. 
"  Your  friend  and  kinsman, 

"  John  RAsrooLrH. 

"  P.  S.  Do  not  make  a  flourish  under  my  name  in  the  super- 
scription of  your  letters.     It  is  not  customary  to  do  so. 

"  I  got  a  letter  to-night  from  Mr.  Bryan  :  he  and  my  iiUle 
godson  are  well,  but  Mrs.  B.  has  the  fever. 

"  My  dear  Buona,  this  is  your  birthday ;  you  are  now  entering 
on  your  12th  year.  May  you  see  ninny  happy  returns  of  this 
anniversary.  The  success  of  my  wish  will  materially  deper  \ 
my  child,  on  the  use  which  you  make  of  the  present  tira*j.' 


FAMILY   EPISTOLARY    CORRESPOXDENCH.  41 

Here  is  a  charming  letter  from  Hon.   William   Wirt 
to  his   D aught  r. 

"  Baltimore,  April  18  1822. 

"  My  dear  Child  : 

"  You  wrote  me  a  dutiful  letter,  eqiiAlI) 
honorable  to  yo  ir  head  and  heart,  for  which  I  thank  you  :  and 
when  I  grow  to  be  a  light-hearted,  light-headed,  happy,  thought 
less  young  girl,  I  will  give  you  a  quid  pro  quo.  As  it  is,  you 
must  take  such  a  letter  as  a  man  of  sense  can  write,  although 
it  has  been  remarked,  that  the  more  sensible  the  man,  the  more 
dull  his  letter.  Don't  ask  me  by  whom  remarked,  or  I  shall 
refer  you,  with  Jenkinson,  in  the  Vicar  of  Wakefield,  to  San- 
coniathon,  Manetho,  and  Berosus. 

"  This  puts  me  in  mind  of  the  card  of  impressions  from  the 
pencil  seals,  which  I  intended  to  inclose  last  mail,  for  you,  to  your 
mother,  but  forgot.  Lo  !  here  they  are :  inese  are  the  best  I 
can  find  in  Baltimore.  I  have  marked  them  according  to  my 
taste  ;  but  exercise  your  own  exclusively,  and  choose  for  your 
self,  if  either  of  them  please  you. 

"  Shall  I  bring  you  a  Spanish  guitar  of  Giles'  choosing?  Can 
you  be  certain  that  you  will  stick  to  it  1  And  some  music  for 
the  Spanish  guitar  ?     What  say  you  ? 

*'  There  are  three  necklaces  that  tempt  me — a  beautiful  mock 
emerald,  a  still  more  beautiful  mock  ruby  with  pearl,  and  a 
still  most  beautiful  real  topaz — what  say  you  ? 

"  Will  you  have  either  of  the  scarfs  described  to  your  mother, 
and  which — the  blue  or  black  ?  They  are  very  fashionable  and 
beautiful.  Any  of  those  wreaths  and  flowers  ?  Consult  your 
dear  mother ;  always  consult  her,  always  respect  her.  This  is 
the  only  way  to  make  yourself  respectable  and  lovely.  God 
bless  you,  and  make  you  happy. 

"  Your  affectionate  father, 

"Wm.  Wirt/' 


Hon,  William    Wirt  to  his  Wife, 

'*  Baltimore,  December  27th.  1822. 

"  The  image  of  your  pensive  face  is  on  my  heart,  and  contin 
oally  before  my  eyes.  May  the  Father  of  Mercies  support 
you,  and  pour  into  your  bosom  the  rich  consolations  of  his  grace, 
and  preserve  and  strengthen  you  for  your  family !  What  can 
we  do,  if  you  suffer  yourself  to  sink  under  the  sorrow  that 
afflicts  you?  Let  us  bear  up,  and  endeavor  to  fulfill  our  duty 
to  our  surviving  children;  I^et  us  not  overcast  the  morning  ot 


18  chesterfield's  letter- writer. 

their  lives  with  unavailing  ^loom.  by  exhibiting  to  them  contin- 
aally,  the  picture  of  despair.  Trouble  comes  soon  enough 
whatever  we  do  to  avert  it;  and  the  somber  side  of  life  will 
eaily  enough  show  itself  to  them  without  any  haste  on  ourpai-t 
to  draw  aside  the  curtain.  Let  them  be  unusually  gay  and 
happy  as  long  as  they  can  ;  and  let  rs  rather  promote  than  dis- 
sipate the  pleasing  illusions  of  hope  and  fancy.  Let  us  endeavor 
to  show  religion  to  them  in  a  cheering  light ;  the  hopes  and 
promises  it  sets  before  us  ;  the  patience  and  resignation  which 
it  inspires  under  affliction ;  the  peace  and  serenity  which  it 
spreads  around  us ;  the  joyful  assurance  with  which  it  gilds 
even  the  night  of  death. 


"  May  God  bless  you,  and  breathe  into  your  bosom  peace  and 
cheerful  resignation. 


Dr,  Fratiklin  to  his  Wife. 

"  Easton,  Nov.  13, 1756. 
«*My  dear  Child; 

"  I  wrote  to  you  a  few  days  since,  by  a 
epecial  messenger,  and  inclosed  letters  for  all  our  wives  and 
sweethearts,  expecting  to  hear  from  you  by  his  return,  and  to 
have  the  northern  newspapers  and  English  letters  per  the 
packet;  but  he  is  just  now  returned  without  a  scrap  for  poor 
us  ;  so  I  had  a  good  mind  not  to  write  to  you  by  this  opportun- 
ity ;  but  1  never  can  be  ill-natured  enough,  even  when  there  is 
the  most  occasion.  The  messenger  says  he  left  the  letters  at 
your  house,  and  saw  you  afterwards  at  Mr.  Duche's  and  told  you 
when  he  would  go,  and  that  he  lodged  at  Honey' s,  next  door  to 
you,  and  yet  you  did  not  write  ;  so  let  Goody  Smith  give  one 
more  judgement,  and  say  what  should  be  done  to  you.  I  think 
I  won't  tell  you  that  we  are  all  well,  now  that  we  expect  to 
return  about  the  middle  of  the  week,  nor  will  I  send  you 
word  of  news — that's  poz. 

"  My  duty  to   mother,  love  to  children,  and  to  Miss  Betsy 
and  Gracy,  etc.,  etc. 

"  I  am  your  loving  husband. 

"B.  Franklin. 
"  F.  S.  I  have   scratched  out  the   loving  words,  being  writ  . 
kftste  by  mistake,  when  I  forgot  I  was  angry." 


LETTERS   OF   CONDOLENCE.  49 

LETTERS  OF  CONDOLENCE. 

In  our  epistolary  correspondence,  there  are  perhaps  no 
iettcrs  so  difficult  to  indite  with  due  effect  as  those  of  con- 
dolence on  the  death  of  relations  or  near  and  dear  friends. 
Yet  no  difficulty,  no  experience  of  painful  sensations,  must 
be  allowed  to  deter  the  writer  from  the  performance  of  one 
of  the  most  sacred  duties  entailed  on  our  sublunary  state. 
liCtters  of  condolence,  from  the  sympathising  pen  of  friend- 
ship, fall  upon  the  heart  of  man  like  the  gentle  dews  of 
evening  in  the  parched  earth.  In  the  composition  of  such, 
there  must  be  no  high-flown  words  or  expressions,  no 
straining  after  effect.  If  heart  speaks  not  to  heart,  in  the 
simplest,  most  soothing  language  of  nature,  words  will,  to 
the  sufferer,  prove  cold  and  unimpressive — worse  than  use- 
less. Be  it  ever  borne  in  mind,  that,  to  the  afflicted,  to  the 
mourner  in  spirit,  "  there  is  only  one  true  source  of  con- 
solation— that  we  shall  meet  those  we  love  in  another  and 
a  better  world,  where  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling,  and 
where  the  weary  are  at  rest.  This  is  the  hope  our  blessed 
religion  holds  out  to  us,  and  its  realization  will  amply  repay 
our  sorrows  here,  whilst  the  anticipated  joy  blunts  the  edge 
of  present  grief." 

The  subjoined  epistle  is  from  a  lady — a  young  lady,  but 
high  in  literary  fame — to  a  father,  after  the  loss  of  an  only 
and  much  beloved  daughter.  It  has  not  before  been  sub- 
mitted to  the  public  eye.  To  mention  the  writer's  name 
would  shed  luster  upon  a  work  of  infinitely  more  importance 
than  this. 

"  My  dear  Mr. , 

"I  should  bjjve  immediately  replied  to  your  melancholy  note 
to  the  lltb  inst.,  had  I  not  been  considerably  indisposed  since 
the  period  of  its  receipt.  I  pray  you  to  believe  how  very  sin- 
ceiely  I  sympathise  with  you  on  the  loss  which  you  have  just 
sustained ;  although  I  am  perfectly  aware  that  all  verbal  condo- 
lence 19  vain,  under  the  circumstances.  Nevertheless,  even 
my  age,  I  have  become  so  much  woni  and  harassed  by  the 
trials  of  the  world,  that  I  cannot  refrain  from  looking  upon 
that  eariy  rest,  ^(^hich  is  at  times  granted  to  the  young,  as  a 
blessing  which  the  survivors  are  totally  unable  to  appreciate. 
Th(  re  is  a  purity  and  a  holiness  in  the  apotheosis  of  those  who 
le»'  1  us  in  their  brightness  and  their  beauty,  wliich  instinctively 
le*'  us  to  a  persuasion  of  their  betitUudc  lluvv  uuinyteinptft 
5 


00  chestekfield's    etter-"w biter. 

tions  have  they  not  escaped !  How  many  faults  and  errora 
havo  they  not  avoided  !  How  many  sorrows  have  they  not 
been  spared  !  We  dare  not,  then,  mourn  for  them  ;  we  can  only 
weep  for  ourselves;  and  these  very  considerations  should  rob 
our  tears  of  all  their  bitterness. 

"  May  these  and  still  more  efficient  consolations  be  yours, 
my  dear  sir ;  and  may  you  find  comfort  in  the  conviction,  tha« 
those  whom  you  have  loved  on  earth  will  be  prepared  to  wei 
come  you  in  heaven. 

"  Ever,  my  dear  Mr. 

"  Very  faithfully  yours." 

Not  less  beautiful,  not  less  pious,  not  less  exalted  ia 
religious  feeling,  are  the  following  extracts  from  a  letter^ 
addressed  to  the  same  party,  and  on  the  same  melancholy 
occasion  as  the  above.  They  also  are  by  a  lady,  one  of  the 
noblest  and  most  estimable  of  her  sex,  and  of  the  first  rank 
and  reputation  in  the  literary  world. 

"  Bristol, ,  1843. 

"  Dear  Mr. , 

"  Your  mournful  letter  (brief,  though  so  full  of  a  father's 
heart)  has  found  me  h^re.  I  can  well '  weep  with  those  that 
weep ! '  therefore  my  tears  flowed  over  your  few  lines,  impart- 
ing to  me  your  last  trial.  Alas !  the  little  envelope  which  a 
few  months  ago  conveyed  to  me  the  united  bridal  cards,  *  tied 
by  their  silken  cord,'  did  not  bring  any  address  to  them  or  to 
you !  Hence,  until  this  sad  announcement  has  thus  reached  m«, 

1  had  no  means  of  showing  you  before,  the  sympathy  ol 
*  rejoicing  with  those  who  do  rejoice.' 

*'  But  we   have   been  too  old   friends  for  you  to  doubt  that 
the  weal   or  woe  of  yourself,  or  whatever   was   dear  to  you, 
would  always  be  objects  of  the  sincerest  interest  with  me. 
*  •  «  #  «  * 

• 
"  When  you  have  mental  strength  enough  to  do  it,  it  will 
niford  me  a  sacred  satisfaction  to  hear  from  you  again ;  tc 
read,  from  your  own  pen,  that  the  God  of  Comfort  has  been, 
and  is  with  you  in  your  great  trial ;  for  my  experience  of  hig 
graciousness  to  me,  under  mine,  convinces  me  that  all  who 
wHist  in  his  consolations  will  receive  them. 

"  My  bodily  health  is  weak,  very  weak ;  but  my  mind,  and 
my  soul's  strength  in  Him,  he  upholds  \ 

"  Praying  the  same  for  you,  in  the  blessed  Name  of  onr 
Lord  and  Savior,  1  remain, 

"  Dear  Mr. , 

'  Ever  your  sincere  old  friend^ 


LETTERS  OF   CONDOLENCE.  Si 

Announcing  to  a  Lady  the  Death  of  her  Sister. 

"Newport,  May  18th,  18—. 

"  My  dear  Madam, — ^Yoii  have  long  been  aware  of  tlu 
painful  and  serious  illness  under  which  your  dear  sister  has  been 
Butfering ;  but,  perhaps,  you  have  not  been  fully  sensible  of  it* 
dangerous  tendency,  and  of  the  fears  always  entertained  by 
those  around  her,  that  its  termination  would  be  fatal.  Would 
that  our  fears  had  been  without  foundation ;  but  I  ara  reluctantly 
compelled  to  tell  you  that  our. worst  anticipations  have  been  too 
mournfully  realised,  your  poor  sister  having  expired  (last 
evening)^  though,  it  is  consolatoi'y  to  state,  with  little  bodily 
Buflfering.  tShe  had  borne  her  affliction  with  the  fortitude  Df  ft 
('hristian,  and  retained  her  faculties  to  her  last  moments,  yield- 
mg  her  breath  in  full  peace  of  mind  and  convinced  that  she 
was  leaving  this  earthly  state  for  a  better  and  a  happier  in 
another  world.  Your  dear  mother  is  in  such  a  state  of  pros 
tration,  that  she  finds  the  task  of  writing  to  you  too  painful  foi 
tier  feelings,  and  has  expressed  her  wish  that  I,  the  intimate 
friend  of  your  late  sister,  should  be  the  communicant  of  the 
sad  intelligence.  She  desires  me  to  say  how  much  your  pres 
ence  would  help  to  console,  not  only  herself,  but  also  you 
father,  and  the  whole  of  the  family.  They  hope,  therefore,  ^ 
see  you  by  the  earliest  opportunity,  and  request  me  to  send  yov 
their  best  love. 

"  Accept,  dear  Madam,  my  sincerest  condolence  iipder  thi^ 
Bad  bereavement  and  affliction,  and 

"  Believe  me  to  remain, 
"  Ever  yours  since  .'ely, 

"To  Mrs. ."  " . 


A  Letter  of  Condolence  on  the  Death  of  a  Husband, 

"  Washington,  June  18th,  18—. 

**  My  dear , — If  any  consolation  can  be  afforded  urdei 

80  heavy  an  .affliction  as  you  have  just  experienced,  it  must 
come  from  a  higher  power  than  mine.  Your  own  strong  sense 
of  religion,  and  of  our  duty  of  resignation  to  a  power  that  ia 
beyond  (Hir  control,  and  a  will  that  is  ever  beneficently  directed 
towards  our  good,  must  uphold  you  in  this  most  bitter  trial. 
I  well  know  how  painful  the  well-meant,  but  often  mistaken, 
f-^iciousness  of  friends  may  be  on  such  occasions,  or  I  should 
have  hastened  to  your  side,  auc*  iought  to  assuage  the  pangs  of 
your  over-worn  spirit. 

"  It  were  a  melancholy  pleaucre  to  dwell  npon  the  virtn<*!i 
and  av^cuiiipr.shraeiits  of  your   late   beloved  liusband ;  but  the 


52  CHESTERFIELD  S   LETTER-WRITER. 

tubject  Is  too  painful  for  me,  and,  in  the  confidence  that  he  is  in 
tbe  enjoyment  of  an  everlasting   happiness,  such  as,  my  dear 

,  even  you  could  not  have  realised  to  him  on  earth,  I  hope 

that  jou  will  support  your  spirits,  both  for  your  own  and  your 
children's  sake,  and  look  forward  to  that  brighter  and  happier 
world  in  which  we  shall  go  to  those  who  cannot  return  to  ua 
"  God  comfort  you, 
"Dear 


*  Your  affectionate  and  sorrowing  friend, 


«  To  Mrs.  - 


The  Same,  on  a  Child's  Death. 

•  Brooklyn,  July  5th,  18 — . 

"My  Dear  , — If  anything    could    have    caused  me 

especial  pain,  it  was  the  news  of  your  sad  bereavement.  ITov 
I  remember  your  dear  child  !  Affectionate,  lively,  and  intelli- 
gent, ever  displaying  a  thoughtfulness  beyond  his  years,  and 
holding  forth  hopes  of  happiness  in  after  times  which  will 
scarcely  bear  reflection. 

"It  has,  indeed,  been  a  heavy  blow,  and  I  scarcely  know  how 
to  talk  of  consolation  under  so  bitter  an  affliction.     But  think, 

my  dear  ,  of  One  who  *  careth  for  all,'  who  loves  little 

children  beyond  others,  and  think  of  the  bright  and  never- 
ending  future  life  of  that  dear  child,  whose  spirit  has  passed 
away  but  for  a  brief  period,  whose  soul  only  waits  in  heaven  to 
hail  the  mother  from  whom  he  has  been  parted. 

"  I  can  say  no   more ;  human   consolations  are  weak  and 
poorly.     May  a  higher  power  do  that  which  1  cannot ! 

"  Ever  sincerely  yours, 

«*  To  Mrs. . "  " . 


The  Same,  on  a  Reverse  of  Foiiune. 

"  Baltimore,  Jan.  3d,  18 — . 

•'  Dear , — I  am  truly  pained  to  hear  of  the  melancholy 

change  in. your  circumstances.  I  had  hoped  that  your  husband  '8 
position  and  connections  would  have  prevented  the  p<issibility 
of  his  embarking  in  any  scheme  where  there  seemed  room  for 
uncertainty.  But,  unhappily,  the  speculative  spirit  of  the  age 
is  to(»  seductive  to  be  easily  withstood,  and  we  are  every  day 
hearing  of  families  being  reduced  to  absolute  poverty,  more 
from  mischance  than  wilful  error. 

"  But  you  must  not  only  cheer  up,  but  labor  to  cheer  your 
ijsbariil  likewise.     Let  him  find  that  he  possesses  a  wife  whd 

t]   not  diirplar  her  annoyance   at   the  deprivation  of  manjf 


LOVE,  COURTSHIP,  MARRIAGE,  E1X>  63 

fperlmpa  uniieceHsary)  luxuries  of  life,  and  whose  Jetermina. 
tion  to  economise  will  make  poverty  seem  less  poor,  and  whose 
affection  will  insure  him  that  comfort  which  the  wealthiest 
-position,  without  undivided  affection,  would  wholly  fail  t^ 
lealize. 

"  Nor  must  you  look  at  matters  as  hopeless.  Althougfc 
changed  in  your  means,  you  have  not  lost  in  character.  Youi 
true  friends  look  upon  you  with  the  same  eyes  as  formerly,  and 
for  the  shallow  and  insincere  you  oup^ht  not,  cannot,  care.  Be- 
Bides,  a  favorable  change  must  result  from  your  husbanri's 
persevering  and  consistent  efforts;  and,  by  the  exorcise  of 
economy,  and  the  patient  submission  to  a  few  privations,  you 
may  ere  long  fully  retiieve  the  position  you  have  already  ad- 
duced, and  which  legitimately  belongs  to  you. 

"  That  success  and  happiness  may  soon  spring  out  of  the 
present  unfavorable  condition  of  things,  is  the  hearty  ani 
earnest  wish  of, 

"  Yours,  ever  affectionately, 

"  To  Mrs. ."  " ^- 

LOYE,  COURTSHIP,  MARRIAGE,  ETC. 

If  friendship  be  capable  of  waking  sensations  so  warm 
so  strong,  so  elevated,  in  the  human  heart,  what  may  not  bt/ 
expected  from  love — the  liveliest,  the  noblest,  the  most  soul- 
inspiring,  soul-absorbing  of  passions ! 

"Who  hath  not  ovrned,  with  rapture-smitten  trduxe, 
The  charm  of  grace,  the  magic  of  a  name  ?" 

I  speak  not  of  that  love  by  which  common  minds  are  too 
frequently  influenced,  and  which  is  little  more  than  mere 
animal  instinct ;  but  of  that  unselfish,  tallowed,  undying 
affection  which  regards  its  object  as  a  being  of  a  higher  order, 
and  for  whose  interests  it  is  at  all  times  ready  and  willing  to 
Bacrifice  its  own.  Under  the  influence  of  such  a  passion,  no 
creature,  man  or  woman,  can  ever  be  guilty  of  a  mean  or  a 
base  action.  Love,  true  love,  is  the  inspirer,  the  creator  of 
all  ou^  noblest  virtues. 

A  gentleman  is  struck  with  the  appearance  of  a  lady, 
and  h  desirous  of  her  acquaintance,  but  there  are  no  means 
within  his  reach  of  obtaining  an  introduction,  and  he  has  nc 
friends  who  are  acquainted  with  herself  or  her  family.  In 
this  dilemma  there  is  no  alternative  but  a  letter. 

There  is,  besides,  a  delicacy,  a  timidity,  a  nervousness  ic 
love,  which  makes  men  desire  some  mode  of  communicatior 


64  chksterfield's  letter-whiter. 

mther  than  the  speech,  which,  in  siich  cases,  too  often  fail* 
them.  In  short,  there  are  reasons  enough  for  writing — 
but  when  the  enamored  youth  sets  about  penning  a  letter  to 
the  object  of  his  passions,  how  difficult  does  he  find  it !  Uott 
aiany  efforts  does  he  make  before  he  succeeds  in  writing  one 
to  suit  hira ! 

It  may  be  doubted  whether  ever  so  many  reams  of  paper 
nave  ever  been  used  in  writing  letters  upon  all  other  sub- 
jects, as  have  been  consumed  upon  epistles  of  love  ;  and 
diere  is  probably  no  man  living  who  has  not  at  some  time 
written,  or  desired  to  write,  some  missive  wliich  might  ex- 
{Aam  his  passions  to  the  amiable  being  of  whom  he  was 
enamored  ;  and  it  has  been  the  same,  so  far  as  can  be  judged, 
in  all  the  generations  of  the  world. 

Affairs  of  the  heart — the  delicate  and  interesting  prelim- 
inaries of  marriage,  are  oftener  settled  by  the  pen  than  in, 
any  other  manner.  To  write  the  words  legibly,  to  spell 
them  correctly,  to  point  them  properly,  to  begin  every  sen- 
tence and  every  proper  name  with  a  capital  letter,  every 
one  is  supposed  to  learn  at  school ;  still  we  give  such  instruc- 
tions in  another  part  of  this  book. 

For  a  love  letter,  good  paper  is  indispensable.  When  it 
can  be  procured,  that  of  costly  quality,  gold- edged,  per- 
fumed, or  ornamented  in  the  French  style,  may  be  properly 
used.  The  letter  should  be  carefully  enveloped,  and  nicely 
sealed  with  a  fancy  wafer — not  a  common  one,  of  course, 
where  any  other  can  be  had  ;  or  what  is  better,  plain  or  fan- 
cy sealing-wax.  As  all  persons  are  more  or  less  governed 
by  first  impressions  and  externals,  the  whole  affair  should  be 
as  neat  and  elegant  as  possible. 

Speaking  of  love  letters  generally,  Moore,  in  his  "  Life  of 
Lord  Byron,"  observes,  that  "  such  effusions  are  but  little 
suited  to  the  public  eye."  Probably  not ;  and  therefore 
they  ought  not  to  be  subjected  to  the  gaze  of  the  public. 
*  It  is  the  tendency  of  all  strong  feeling,"  he  adds,  "  from 
dwelling  constantly  on  the  same  idea,  to  be  monotonous ; 
and  those  often-repeated  vows  and  verbal  endearments,  which 
make  the  charm  of  true  love  letters  to  the  parties  concerned 
in  them,  must  for  ever  rendc^r  even  the  best  of  them  cloying  to 
others.'"  Without  stopping  to  discuss  the  philosophy  of 
this  passage,  I  will  hazard  the  assertion  that  it  applies 
accurately  only  to  such  love  letters  as  the  writer  is  most 
likely  best  acquainted  with  ;  "  thing's  that  are  of  the  earth. 


LOVE,  COURTSHIP,  MAKRIAGE,  ETC.  66 

eurtliy."  Have  lovers  nothing  to  talk  or  to  write  about 
but  Cupids,  and  Veuuses,  and  flowers,  and  hearts  and  darts ! 
I  would  not  ask  for  a  better  criterion  by  which  to  test  the 
moral  and  intellectual  powers  of  a  man  tlian  his  love  letters, 
premising,  always,  that  the  party  addressed  be  an  object 
capable  and  worthy  of  inspiring  a  genuine  passion.  No 
subject  can  be  too  exalted  for  the  pen  of  au  intellectual 
lover. 

How  sweet  and  beatiful  is  the  affection  portrayed  in 
the  following  passages  of  a  letter  from  a  gentleman  to  a 
lady  with  whom  he  was  on  the  point  of  being  united  in " 
marriage  : 

"  Tromsoe,  May  28,  184-. 
*•  If  you  were  but  here,  ray  Alette !  I  miss  you  every 
moment,  while  I  am  preparing  my  dwelhng  to  receive  you. 
I  am  continually  wishing  to  ask  you,  '  How  will  you  have 
this.  Alette  ?  '  Ah,  my  ever  beloved,  that  you  were  here  at 
this  moment !  You  would  be  enraptured  with  this  *  land  of 
ice  and  bears,'  at  the  thought  of  which  I  know  you  inwardly 
shudder.        *         *        *         * 

"  *  But  the  winter  !'  I  hear  you  say,  *  the  summer  may  pasa 
well  enough,  but  the  long,  dark  winter  !  Well,  the  winter, 
too,  my  Alette,  passes  happily  away  with  people  who  love 
each  other,  when  it  is  warm  at  home.  Do  you  remember, 
last  summer,  how  we  read  together  at  Christiansand,  in  the 
morning  paper,  this  extract  from  the  Tromsoe  Gazette  1 
We  have  had  snow-storms  for  several  days  together,  and 
at  this  moment  the  snow-plow  is  at  work,  opening  a  path 
to  the  churches.  The  death-like  stiiiness  of  night  ard 
winter  extends  over  meadow  and  valley ;  only  a  few  cows 
wander  about,  hke  ghosts,  over  the  snowy  tracts,  to  pluck  a 
scanty  meal  from  the  twigs  of  the  trees  that  are  not  yet 
buried  in  the  snow.'  The  little  winter  sketch  pleased  me, 
but  you  shuddered  involuntarily  at  that  expression,  *the 
death-Uke  stillness  of  the  night  and  winter,  and  bowed 
your  sweet  dear  face,  with  closed  eyes,  upon  my  breast. 
Oh!  my  Alette,  thus  will  it  be  when,  in  future,  the  terror  of 
the  cold  and  darkness  seizes  thee,  and  upon  my  breast„ 
listening  to  the  beatings  of  my  heart,  the  words  of  my 
love,  wiit  thou  forget  these  dark  images  of  stonn  and 
gloom?        *  *  *        Close   thine  eyes,  slumber,  my 

beloved  one,  while  I  watch  over  thee.  Thou  snait  one  day 
look  upon  night  and  winter,  and  own  that  their  power  is  not 
•0  tearful.    Love,  that  geyser  of  the  soul,  can  melt  the  x^ 


66  chesterfield's  lettek-weiter. 

and  snow  of  the  most  frozen  regions.  Wherever  its  waini 
springs  well  up,  there  glows  a  southeni  climate." 

The  aboYG  comes  before  us  in  the  form  of  fiction  ;  ye« 
every  line  bears  the  vivid  impress  of  truth  and  nature.  1^ 
is  from  "  Strife  and  Peace,"  one  of  the  charming  novels  of 
Frederika  Bremer,  a  Swedish  author  of  contemporary 
celebrity. 

The  subjoined  passage,  from  another  of  that  lady's  works, 

"  The  H Family,"  presents  an  equally  beautiful  picture 

of  aSection  in  wedded  life.  It  is  from  the  letter  of  a  newly- 
married  lady,  the  wife  of  a  clergyman,  to  her  friend  : 

"  Beata,  do  you  know  what  I  pray,  morning  and  evening,  ay, 
tiourly,  from  the  bottom  of  my  heart  ?  '  O  God  !  make  me 
worthy  the  love  of  my  husband,  grant  me  the  power  of 
making  him  happy.'  And  I  have  received  such  power,  for 
he  is  (so  he  says  and  so  he  seems)  very  hap})y.  If  you 
knew  how  well  he  looks,  how  gay  !  This  is  because  I  take 
so  much  care  of  him ;  then  he  does  not  dare  take  so  little 
care  of  himself  as  before ;  and  then  he  works  no  more  m 
the  night;  he  has  weaned  himself  of  this;  and  so  he  thinks 
and  writes  (he  acknowledges  himself)  more  freely  and 
powerfully  than  before.  Then  I  am  very  careiiil  not  to  inter 
"upt  or  disturb  him  when  he  is  in  his  studies,  writing  or  read- 
mg.  Oil!  when  I  would  just  get  a  glimpse  of  him  (he  is  so 
beautiful,  Beata),  I  steal  in  gently  and  play  him  a  little  trick. 
[  place  a  flower  upon  his  book,  kiss  his  brow,  or  do  some  such 
ching,  and  go  quietly  back  again,  and  when  I  turn  round  to 
ihut  the  door,  I  always  get  a  glance  Irom  his  eyes  that  follows 
oie  as  though  it  were  stolen." 

One  scrap  more— the  last  letter  of  a  lady,  on  her  death-bod 
to  her  affianced  husband  : 

•*  My  dearest,  ever-beloved  Charles  ! 

"  Long  has  my  spirit  struggled,  but  in  vain,  against  a  threat- 
ened dissolution.  The  hope  that  I  might  yet  be  yours,  that  ■ 
our  fairy  visions  of  bliss  might  be  realized,  has  sometimea 
given  a  new  and  momentary  impulse  to  the  lagging  current  in 
my  veins  ;  but  I  feel  that  my  heart  is  broken— nature  will  no 
longer  perform  her  office — I  am  sinking  daily  and  hourly  into 
the  grave.  Charles,  my  beloved  !  when  these  lines  shall  meet 
your  sight,  this  yet  *  warm  mass '  will  be  '  a  knead<id  clod  *— 
the  hand  that  now  writes  will  be  cold  forever!  Oh,  Charles 
my  adored   husband !    look   upwards  to  the  throne  of  BUsi 


LOYE,   COURTSHIP,  MARRIAGE,  ETC.  67 

eternal,  in  the  heaveus.  There,  *  where  the  weary  are  at  rest, 
aud  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling,'  we  shall  meet  agaU  and 
be  for  ever  happy  ' 

"  You  will  preserve  the  inclosed  trifles,  as  memorials  of  her 
who  loved  you  above  all  earthly  beings.  Bless  you !  Oh, 
for  ever  bless  you  This  will  be  the  last  aspiration  of  youi 
dying 

"  Mary." 


To  a  young  Lady  to  whom  one  is  engaged, 

Chester,  Oct.  15th,  18 — . 

"My  dearest  Fanny, — If  there  is  one  thing  that  can  console 
me  for  my  unavoidable  absence  from  your  side,  it  is  the  pleas- 
ure of  being  able  to  pen  a  few  lines  to  express,  however  feebly, 
my  continued  and  increasing  alTection  for  you.  It  is,  indeed,  a 
painful  and  irksome  change  from  our  rambles  about  the  fields, 
our  evening  duets,  and  our  stolen  conversations,  to  a  dull  routine 
of  mercantile  accounts  and  the  never-ending  confusion  of  busi- 
ness. Happily,  however,  my  affairs  are  in  a  rapid  state  of 
settlement,  and  I  shall  hope  once  more  soon  to  bask  in  the 
sunshine  of  my  Fanny's  sweet  countenance,  and  to  feed  my 
imagination  with  thoughts  of  the  happiness  which  her  placid 
and  sincere  disposition  will  hereafter  shed  around  a  home  !  I 
need  hardly  say  how  eagerly  I  watch  for  the  post,  and  how  I 
cherish  every  line  that  bears  the  evidence  of  my  dear  girl's  af 
fection,  and  how  gratefully  every  sentiment  that  flows  from  her 
pen  is  treasured  in  my  memory. 

"  G(>d  bless  yon,  dearest  Fanny,  and  believe  me,  wnth  most 
respectful  and  affectionate  remembrances  to  your  parents,  and 
all  friends. 

"  Your  ever  affectionate  and  devoted 


**  To  Miss ." 

On  receiving  a  favorable  answer, 

"  Flushing,  October  16th,  18—. 
**  Dearest  Miss  {o'»'  use  Chrhtlan  name). — Words  cannot  ex 
press  my  delight  on  finding  your  note  on  my  table  last  night. 
The  toils  of  the  day  were  over,  but  how  delightful  was  it  to 
find  a  letter — and  such  a  letter ! — from  one  whom  I  may  now 
hope  to  hail  as  the  companion  of  my  whole  future  life  !  The 
weight  taken  off  ujy  mind  by  the  candid  and  gentle  confessioH 
of  on(5  whose  love  seemed  too  gieat  a  happiness  to  hqpe  for  is 


S8  chesterfield's  letteei-writee. 

beyond  iescription.  To-morrow  I  shall  hasten  to  the  presence 
of  her  from  whom  I  hope  I  may  never  henceforth  be  parted, 
but  J.  could  not  retire  to  rest  without  making  one  feeble  at- 
teiT'  t  to  express  my  delight  at  finding  that  hopes  so  flatter- 
ty  I  jislvq  not  been  in  vain. 

"  Beheve  me,  dearest, 

"  Your  devoted  and  happy  lover, 


*  To  Miss ." 

A  Lover's  quarrel. 

Mount  IIolly,  July  3,  18—. 

"  My  dear , — It  is  with  pain  I  write  to  you  in  aught 

that  can  seem  like  a  strain  of  reproach,  but  I  confess  that  your 
conduct   last   night   both    surprised   and   vexed    me.      Your 

marked  approbation  of  the  attentions  paid  to  you  by was 

as  obvious  as  your  neglect  of  myself.  Believe  me,  I  am  in  no 
way  given  to  idle  jealousy — still  less  am  I  selfish  or  unmanly 
enough  to  wish  to  deprive  any  girl  on  whom  I  have  so  firmly 
fixed  my  afiections,  of  any  pleasure  to  be  obtained  in  good 
society.  But  my  peace  of  mind  would  be  lost  forever,  did  I 
believe  that  I  have  lost  one  atom  of  your  affection. 

"Pray  write,  and  assure  me  that  you  still  preserve  your  un- 
divided afiection  for 

"  Your  devoted  but  grieved 

"  To  Miss ."  " ." 


Explaining  away  an  apparent  slight. 

"August  5th,  18—-. 

"  My  dearest ^ — How  grieved  am  1  that  you  .should 

think  me  capable  of  wavering  in  my  affection  towards  you,  and 
inflicting  a  slight  upon  one,  in  whom  my  whole  hopes  of  happi- 
ness are  centered !     Believe  me,  my  attentions  to  Miss 

were  never  intended  for  anything  more  than  common  courtesy. 
My  long  acquaintance  with  her  father,  and  my  knowledge  of 
her  amiable    character — as   well  as  the  citcumstance  of  her 

being  a  comparative   stranger  to  the  's, — such  were  my 

sole  reasons  for  paying  more  attention  to  her  than  I  might 
otherwise  have  done. 

"  Pray  rest  confident  in  the  belief  that  my  affection  for  you 
is  as  unchanging  as  my  regret  is  great,  that  I  should  ever  have 
given  you  cause  to  doubt  it,  and  beheve  me, 

"Dearest , 

*  Yours  ever  sincerely  and  devotedly, 


LOVE   LETTERS.  5S 

To  an  eirhj  companion  and  playmate. 

"  New  York,  July  Cth,  IS—. 
•*  My  Dearest  Emmy, — For  I  can  only  think  of  you-- 
woman  us  you  now  are — as  the  *  little  Eminy '  of  the  many 
Dappy  days  of  childhood  we  have  spent  together — can  you 
make  up  your  mind  to  a  very  awful  confession?  In  plain 
words,  I  love  you  as  heartily  now  as  ever,  and,  if  I  may  judge 
from  our  last  n'j^ht's  meeting  after  so  long  a  separation,  you 
have  not  quite  Lost  the  remembrance  of  your  old  playfellow. 
But,  joking  apart,  time* has  done  much  for  both  of  us — for  you, 
in  making  you  all  that  can  be  desired  by  man  as  the  object  of 
his  love  and  trust — for  me,  in  enabling  me  to  provide  a  home 
for  her  who  has  ever  been  dearest  to  me,  and  whose  image  has 
never  faded  from  my  memory  amidst  the  varied  exertions  of  a 
preliminary  professional  career. 

"  And  now,  my  dear  Emmy,  think  you  well  whether  you  can 
transfer  that  affection,  as  a  woman,  which,  in  your  girlhood,  was 

my  chiefest  delight.     We  shall  meet  on  at 's  and 

then,  perhaps,  my  heart  may  be  gladdened  by  a  belief  that 
there  is  something  in  first  loves.' 
"  Eagerly  awaiting  our  meeting, 
**  Believe  me, 

"  Your  affectionate  old  playmate  and  new  lover, 
"To  Miss ."  " 


A  Lady  absent  on  a  Visitf  to  her  Husband, 

"  Albany,  July  22d,  ^8— . 

"  My  dear , — Tn  imagining  what  your  thoughts  and  feel 

ings  are  likely  to  be  during  my  absence,  I  have  only  to  call  to 
recollection  what  my  own  have  been  on  like  occasions,  when 
you,  dear ,  L*vve  been  absent  from  home.  How  has  my  re- 
membrance of  you  then  been  interwoven  with  each  minute  of 
my»  existence !  and  how  have  I  counted  the  hours,  till  that  had 
ariived  which  brought  me  intelligence  of  your  welfare  !  So 
justly  do  I  appreciate  your  attachment  that  I  feel  convinced 
this  feeling  must  be  mutual,  and  I  picture  to  myself  the  smile 
of  delight  with  which  you  will  receive  my  present  letter.  I 
know  you  will  experience  real  satisfaction  in  hearing  that  I 
Btili  enjoy  my  health,  and,  in  fact,  never  was  better ;  and  that 

the  hospitality  and  kindly  attentions  of so  far  from  dimin. 

Ishing,  seem  rather  to  increase.  Thej  make  it,  indeed,  their 
Efudy  to  surround  me  with  comforts,  and  are  constantly  de 
rising  some  fresh  plans  which  they  thhik  may  conduce  tc  my 


60  chesterfield's  letter-writfr. 

amusement.     Be  assured,  therefore,  my  dear ,  that,  with 

the  exception  of  missing  your  cheering  company,  and  that  of 
our  dear  chiklren,  I  am  as  happy  and  as  lively  as  you,  the  fond- 
est of  all  my  well-wishers,  could  desire  me  to  be. 

*  Having  said  this  much  of  myself,  let  me  now  observe  that  I 
am  most  anxious  to  receive  a  letter  from  you ;  for  I  long  t<> 
hear  how  you  and  the  children  still  continue  in  regard  to  health, 
and  what  fresh  occurrences  have  taken  place  since  you  wrote 
last.  At  present,  I  have  no  reason  for  supposing  that  my  ab 
sence  from  home  will  be  prolonged  beyond  the  — th,  on 
which  day  I  hope  again  to  be  with  you.  Give  my  kindest  love 
to  the  children,  and 

"  Believe  me, 

•    *'  My  dear , 

"  Your  ever  affectionate  wife, 

"To ,  Esq."  " 


To  a  Ladi/f  complaining  of  her  coolness. 

"Monroe  Place,  June  10th,  18—. 

"  Dear , — How  often  have  I  passed  my  late  conduct  in 

review  before  me,  endeavoring  to  discover  by  what  word  or 
act  I  could  have  given  you  offence.  Vain,  however,  has  been 
tho  attempt,  for  the  offence  which  I  have  given  must  have  been 
totally  inadvertent,  and  could  never  have  sprung  from  any  in- 
tention to  have  given  you  even  a  moment's  uneasiness.  But 
that  by  some  means  I  have  had  the  misfortune  to  incur  your 
displeasure,  has  been  but  too  evidently  indicated  by  the  change 
of  your  behavior  towards  me — a  change  from  the  kindness  o. 
an  attached  friend,  to  the  cool  indifference  of  a  distant  ac 
quaintance.  Of  late,  when  in  your  presence,  I  have  been 
i^ny  times  upon  the  point  of  asking  you  upon  what  occasion, 
and  %  w^hat  means  I  have  displeased  you  ?  But  as  constantlj 
hav«^I  needed  the  courage  to  do  so,  and  mj  voice  has  failed 
me,;  whenever  I  have  endeavored  to  make  the  attempt.  '  Id 
the  hope  of  being  eased  from  a  painful  state  of  anxiety,  1 
write  this  letter,  and  trust  that  you  will  give  me  some  expla 
nation  on  the  subject  referred  to,  either  by  an  answer  in  your 
hand-writing,  or  through  yom*  ovsti  lips,  at  our  next  meeting. 
But  whatever  that  reply  may  be,  of  this  be  assured,  that  my 
esteem  for  you  can  never  know  a  change,  and  that  you  will 
ever  live  as  a  cherished  object  in  the  breast  of  him  who  no\v 
subscribes  himself, 

"  Yours  most  affectionately  and  sincerely, 

"  To  Miss ."  " 


LOVE    LETTERS  61 

T 

From  a  young  Man,  avowing  a  passion  he  had  entertained  fd 
a  length  oftime^  and  fearful  of  disclosing  it,* 

«  New  York,  Feb.  13th,  18—. 

"  Dear  Miss , — It  is  with  no  small  degree  of  appre- 
hension, as  to  the  manner  in  which  you  may  receive  tho 
following  avowal,  that  I  take  up  my  pen  to  address  you  ;  but 
I  have  so  long  struggled  with  my  feelings,  that  they  have  now 
got  the  better  of  my  irresolution ;  and  throwing  aside  all 
hesitation,  I  have  ventured,  although  alarmed  at  my  own  bold- 
ness in  doing  so,  to  lay  open  my  whole  heart  before  you*  For 
months  past  I  have  been  oppressed  with  a  passion  that  has  en- 
tirely superseded  eveiy  other  feeling  of  my  heart — that  passion 
is  love — and  you — you  alone  are  the  object  of  it.  In  vain  have 
T  endeavored  to  drive  the  idea  from  my  mind,  by  every  art 
that  I  could  possibly  think  of:  in  vain  have  I  sought  out  every 
amusement  that  might  have  a  tendency  to  relieve  my  mind 
from  the  bias  which  it  has  taken,  but  love  has  taken  that 
firm  hold  of  my  whole  soul,  that  I  am  unable  to  entertain  but 
one  idea,  one  thought,  one  feeling,  and  that  is  always  yourself 
I  neglect  njyself,  my  business,  and  can  neither  hear  nor  see 
any  one  thing,  but  you  bear  the  chief  part  therein.  Believe 
me,  I  am  sincere,  when  I  assert,  that  I  feel  it  totally  impossible 
to  live  apart  from  you ;  when  near  you,  I  am  in  paradise — 
when  absent,  I  feel  in  torture.  This,  I  solenndy  assure  you,  is 
a  true  description  of  the  feelings  with  which  my  breast  is  con- 
tinually agitated,  and  it  remains  only  for  you  to  give  a  reality 
to  those  hopes,  or  at  once  to  crush  them,  by  a  single  word  , 
say  but  that  word,  and  I  am  the  happiest  or  the  most  miser- 
able of  mankind. 

"  Yours,  till  death, 

*'ToMI«8 ."  " . 


To  a  Lady. 

"TUNBRIDGE,  July  3d    18—. 

**  Dear  Madam, — I  have  been  so  harassed  with  love  doubt, 
distraction,  and  a  thousand  other  wild  and  nameless  feelings, 

♦  On  {^rounds  of  plain  common  sense,  we  snould  not  recommend  this  letlcJ 
for  imitation  ;  bytptople  wiU  send  such  letters 

6 


62  chesterfield's  letter-writer. 

eincc  I  had  the  happiness  of  being  in  your  company,  tliat  1 
have  been  unable  to  forujj^j^je^nne  reflection,  or  to  separate 
events  from  tiie  feelings  that  'accompanied  ihem— in  fact,  1 
ave  been  totally  unable  to  bring  my  thoughts  into  anything 
ko  regularity,  for  they  are  so  entirely  mixed  up  with  the 
dea  of  yourself,  that  the  business  of  thn  world,  and  the  pur- 
uits  of  amusement  and  pleasure,  have  been  entirely  forgotten 
in  the  one  passion  that  holds  undivided  empire  over  my  soul. 
J  have  defeiTed  from  day  to  day  penning  this  confession  to  you, 
in  order  that  I  might  have  been  enabled  tc  have  done  so  with 
some  degree  of  ease  and  calmness ;  but  the  hope  has  proved 
fruitless.  I  can  resist  no  longer,  for  to  keep  silent  on  a  sub- 
ject which  is  interwoven  with  my  very  existence,  would  be 
death  tome.  No,  I  am  unable  to  do  so,  and  I  have,  therefore, 
determined  to  lay  open  to  you  the  sufiering  of  my  heart,  and 
to  implore  from  you  a  restoration  of  that  peace  and  happiness 

which  once  were  mine.     You,  my  dear  Miss ,  are  alone  the 

cause  of  my  unhappiness,  and  to  you  alone  can  I  look  for  a 
relief  from  the  wretchedness  that  has  overwhelmed  me.  The 
fervent  passion  that  devours  my  soul  for  your  adorable  self, 
can  only  be  allayed^  by  the  declaration"  that  I  am  loved  as 
fervently  in  return.  But  dare  I  ask  sc  much  purity,  so  much 
sweetness,  mildness  and  modesty,  to  make  such  a  declaration  ? — 

I  know  not  what  I  say — but  O  !  my  dear  Miss ,  be  merciful, 

and  if  you  cannot  love  me — say,  at  least,  that  you  do  not  hate 
mo.  Never  could  I  survive  the  idea  of  being  hateful  to  that 
Angelic  being,  whose  love  I  prize  more  than  existence  itself. 
Let  me  then  cling  to  the  idea  that  time  may  accomplish  that 
which,  I  fain  hope,  a  first  impression  has  done  resuming,  unless 
a  fatal  pre-engagement  exists  (a  thino^  I  dare  not  trust  myself 
to  think  of),  that  you  will  comply  with  my  request,  seeing  that 
my  designs  are  perfectly  pure  and  honorable.  I  remain 
waiting  with  the  utmost  impatience  for  your  favorable  reply, 

"Dear  Miss , 

"  Your  devoted  servant  till  death, 


From  a  yorm^ig  Lady,  in  answer  to  the  proposal  of  a  Gentle 
man  who  lutd  met  her  the  previous  Evening, 

"  Westchester,  July  Cth,  J8— . 

"  Sir,— Although  it  is  the  highest  compliment  that  can  be 
paid  Oiir  «ex,  to  r:^ceive  offers  calculated  to»  ensu^-e  t  kstin^ 


LOTE  LETTERS.  €3 

ftcquarntaiice,  I  must  still  complain  of  t.  />redpitate^  character 
of  your  address  to  one  who,  till  last  nipic,  was  a  total  strange) 
to  you.  Without  wisliing  to  say  anything  harsh,  I  must  con 
fess  that  I  do  not  feel  any  motive  to  entertain  so  hasty  a  pro 
posal.  and  have  felt  bound  to  lay  your  letter  before  my  parenta 
as  I  could  not  think  of  concealing  from  them  any  corresponJ 
ence  of  such  a  description. 

"  Trusting  that  you  will  see  tnis  in  its  proper  light, 
"  I  remain, 
"  Sir, 
**  Yours  respectfully, 
•^To    — ,  Esq."  " . 


Another  more  favorable, 

"  Philadelphia,  Sept.  18th,  18—. 

"  Sir, — Although  your  letter  of  this  morning  comes  upon  me 
in  a  strangely  unexpected   manner,  I  feel  that  your  intimate 

friendship  with  my  kind  hostess,  Mrs. ,  perhaps  excuses  a 

precipitation  which  could  scarcely  be  justified  on  ordinary 
grounds.  At  the  same  time,  I  cannot  think  of  giving  a  sanc- 
tion to  further  attention  on  your  part,  without  consulting 
Mrs.  — —  on  the  subject,  and  I  have,  therefore,  placed  your 
letter  in  her  hands.  I  cannot  deny  that  I  feel  some  pleasure 
in  having  elicited  sentiments  from  you,  which  appear  to  be 
founded  in  honorable  good  feeling,  but  mt'«?t  for  a  time,  beg 
of  you  to  excuse  me  giving  you  any  further  b"mction  to  youj 
addresses. 

*'I  remain, 
"  Sir, 
"  Your  sincere  well-wishe/  »n  ^  ^aend, 

"To  ,  Esq."  • . 


On  receiving  a  second  Letter,  after  frequent  T,'ieei  r.^s, 

"Belmont,  Dec.  J 5th,  iO— . 

"Dear  Sir,— It  is  impossible  fcr  u?-^  to  deny  that  you-  ^^ 
duous,  but  delicate  attentions  to  me  of  late  have  connru^e**  h 
favorable  impression  I  had  formed,  bu  v»hich  the  8uddenuc>^^ 
of  your  address  rendered  it  imj^MJssiMb  I   could  avow.     ri>u* 


BA  CHESTERFIELD- S   LETTER-WRITER. 

whole  conduct  has  been  that  of  a  gentleman,  and  Mrs. '» 

representations  are  so  strongly  in  your  favor,  that  I  feel  it 
would  be  false  modesty  in  me  to  disclaim  a  feeling  of  strong 
regard  for  yourself.  Let  us  not,  however,  be  too  hasty  in  our 
conclusions— let  us  not  mistake  momentary  impulse  for  perma- 
nent impression ;  let  us  seek  rather  to  know  more  of  each  other, 
,to  study  each  other's  tempers,  and  to  establish  that  sincere 
eeteem  which  should,  which  must  be  the  foundation  of  every 
deeper  feeling. 

**  I  have  written  to  my  father  on  the  subject,  and,  as  I 
anticipated,  he  has  laid  me  under  no  restraint,  save  of 
cautioning  me  not  to  be  hasty  in  giving  that  promise  or  ac- 
cepting it  from  another,  which  may  involve  the  happiness  of  a 

whole  life.     Meanwhile,  Mrs.  begs  that   you  will  accept 

a  general  invitation  to  her  tea-table,  to  which  arrangement,  I 
can  assure  you,  no  objection  will  be  made  by 
**  Dear  Sir, 

"  Yours  very  truly, 

"To ,  Esq."  " 


To  an  acquaintance  of  long  standing, 

"Chelsea,  October  15th,  16-  -, 

*-My  Dear  Miss , — I  have  so  long  enjoyed  the  happint^ 

of  being  received  as  a  welcome  guest  at  your  respected  parent\ 
house,  that  I  write  with  the  more  confidence  on  a  subject  of 
most  serious  importance  to  my  welfare. 

"  From  constantly  meeting  with  you,  and  observing  the  thous- 
and acts  of  amiability  and  kindness  which  adorn  your  daily  life, 
I  hav?  gradually  assv>ciated  my  hopes  of  future  happiness  w4th 
the  chance  of  possessing  you  as   their   sharer.     Believe   me, 

dear  Miss ,  this  is  no  outbreak  of  boyish  passion,  but  the 

hearty  and  healthy  result  of*  a  long  and  affectionate  study  (>f 
your  disposition.  It  is  love,  founded  on  esteem ;  and  I  feel 
perFuaded  that  your  knowledge  of  my  own  chai'acter  will  lead 
you  to  trace  my  motives  to  their  right  source. 

'*  May  I,  then,  implore  yen  to  consult  your  own  heart,  and, 
ehonld  I  not  have  been  mistaken  in  the  happy  belief  that  my 
feelings  are  in  some  measure  reciprocated,  to  grant  me  permis- 
sion to  raenticn  the  matter  to  your  parents. 

"  Beileve  me,  dear  Miss , 

"  Your  ever  sincere,  b  t  at  present  anxious  friend, 

"ToM'ss ."  " * 


CONCLDDINa   aiNTS.  §tt 

To  a  ymng  Lady  from  a  young  1  adesman, 

*'  New  York,  Feb.  16th,  18—. 

"  Dear  Mrss  , — Since  I  met  with  you  at ,  my 

mJiid  has  been  constantly  filled  with  the  remembrance  of  the 
pleasant  moments  passed  in  your  society.  My  business  has 
been  improving  of  late,  and,  in  point  of  prosperity,  I  have 
much  cause  to  be  thankful.  But  I  feel  that  there  are  nigher 
dudes  in  life  than  can  be  fulfilled  by  a  man  in  his  single  state, 
and  I  am  anxious  to  find  a  companion  for  my  future  life.     Such 

a  companion,  dear  Miss .  I  venture  to  believe  I  have  found 

in  you,  and  my  earnest  hope  is  that  you  may  be  willing  to  ap- 
preciate the  affectionate  regard  of  one,  who,  however  humble 
in  his  present  position,  has  every  desire  to  elevate  that  position 
for  your  sake. 

"Without  attempting  to  use  fine  language,   or  make   a 
parade  of  sentiment,  I  hope  you  will  accept  these  lines  as 
conveying  the   plain  and  honest  sentiments  of  one,  who,  in 
anxious  expectation  of  your  reply, 
*'  Remains, 

"  Dear  Miss , 

"  Your  most  devoted  servant, 
•*  To  Miss ."  " . 

Neither  my  plan  nor  my  space  admits  of  "  instructions  for 
the  choice  of  a  wife,"  or  of  a  husband,  or  for  forming  or 
avoiding  "  prudential "  marriages.  What  I  have  given, 
however,  will  suffice  to  show  that  lovers,  whether  single  or 
mairied,  are  not  under  the  necessity  of  writing  nonsense — 
of  inditing  nothing  but  the  sickly  sentimentalism  which  Mr. 
Moore  so  philosophically  regards  as  constituting  the  < 
of  amatory  epistles. 


CONCLUDING  HINTS. 

Some  few  general  remarks  on  very  simple  matters — which 
are,  nevertheless,  of  much  importance  in  the  transactions  of 
every-day  life — may  be  advantageously  appended  to  the 
Bpecinions  already  laid  before  the  reader. 

'J'liere  is  great  judgement  required  in  using  "  Sir,"  or 
"  Dear  Sir,"  especially  in  addressing  a  person  of  superior 
wordly  position  to  yourself.  Always  reflect  wliether  you 
are  on  such  terms  with  the  person  to  whom  you  write  as  to 


M  chesterfield's  letter- writer. 

warrant  your  using  "  Dear,"  or  *'  My  dear,"  before  the  more 
retiring  phrase  of  address. 

At  the  same  time,  the  use  of  "  Dear  Sir,"  even  towards  a 
stranger,  is  considered  a  graceful  manner  of  addressing  aD 
i  iferior ;  but  in  responding  to  this,  it  would  be  preferable 
to  avoid  too  much  familiarity  at  first,  A  golden  rule  in  sucb 
matters  is,  that  nothing  is  lost  by  too  much  modesty,  while 
nothing  gives  so  much  offence  as  officious  familiarity. 

"  Reverend  and  dear  Sir  "  is  a  frequent  address  from  one 
clergyman  to  another,  with  whom  he  is  supposed  to  have 
little  acquaintance,  beyond  that  of  being  in  the  same  profes- 
sion. "  Dear  Sir  "  is  afterwards  adopted,  when  one  or  two 
letters  have  passed  between  the  parties. 

"  Dear  Sir  "  is  frequently  used  in  transactions  between 
gentlemen  and  their  tradesmen ;  but  such  use  must  be  guided 
by  the  good  sense  of  both  parties.  It  must  also  be  consid- 
ered that  the  position  and  character  of  tradesmen  render 
them  fully  on  a  par  with  professional  or  independent  per- 
sons.    We  are  all  equal  in  this  free  country. 

"  Honored  Sir,"  though  somewhat  antiquated,  is  still  fro 
quently  used,  either  in  addressing  a  pei'^on  in  very  advanced 
years,  a  parent,  a  person  to  whom  we  have  been  under  great 
obligations,  or  in  an  appeal  from  a  poor  person  to  a  rich 
and  powerful  one. 

Nearly  the  same  niles  apply  to  letters  addressed  to  per- 
sons of  the  other  sex. 

Never  send  a  note  to  a  person  who  is  your  superior,  unlesa 
it  be  upon  a  very  slight  and  indifferent  matter.  In  asking  ft 
favor  of  an  intimate  friend,  address  him  in  the  first  person. 

Do  not  take  bad  writing  for  freedom  of  style.  Whatever 
pleasure  your  friends  may  derive  from  reading  your  letters 
you  have  no  right  to  suppose  that  they  have  lime  for  the 
study  of  hieroglyphics. 

Always  put  a  stamp  on  your  envelope  at  the  top  of  the 
right  hand  corner. 

Always  use  an  envelope,  except  for  letters  of  mere  busi 
ness.  Fashion  now  demands  it,  and  it  has  the  advantage* 
of  keeping  the  letter  clean  and  insuring  secresy. 

What  you  have  to  say  in  your  letter,  say  as  plainly  a> 
possible,  as  if  you  were  speaking ;  this  is  the  best  rule.  Do 
not  revert  three  or  four  times  to  one  circumstance,  but  finist) 
np  as  you  go  on. 

Let  your  signature  be  written  as  plainly  as  possible  (many 


OONCLUDINQ   HINTS.  67 

misxukes  will  be  avoidec,  especially  in  writing  ^^o  strangers) 
and  without  any  flourishes,  as  they  tend  not  in  any  way  ta 
add  to  the  harmony  of  your  letter.  We  have  seen  signa- 
tures that  have  besn  almost  impossible  to  decipher,  being  a 
mere  mass  of  strokes,  without  any  form  to  indicate  letters. 
I'his  is  done  chiefly  by  the  ignorant,  and  would  lead  one  to 
suppose  that  they  were  ashamed  of  signing  what  they  had 
written. 

Do  not  cross  your  letters  ;  surely  paper  is  cheap  enough 
now  to  admit  of  your  using  an  extra  half-sheet,  in  case  of 
.  necessity.  (This  practice  is  chiefly  prevalent  among  young 
ladies.) 

Avoid  the  too  frequent  use  of  French  and  Italian  phrases. 
A  letter  thus  larded  is  the  fit  production  of  a  boarding- 
school  miss. 

If  you  are  not  a  good  writer  it  is  advisable  to  use  best 
ink,  the  best  paper,  and  the  best  pens,  as,  though  they  may 
not  alter  the  character  of  your  handwriting,  yet  they  will 
assist  to  make  your  writing  look  better. 

The  paper  on  which  you  write  should  be  clean,  and  neatly 
folded. 

There  should  not  be  stains  on  the  envelope  ;  if  otherwise, 
it  is  only  an  indication  of  your  own  sloveliness. 

Common  wafers  should  never  be  nsed,  at  least  in  general 
correspondence.  For  letters  of  business  they  are  still  per- 
mitted. Should  you  send  a  note  on  business  by  hand,  be 
careful  that  the  wafer  is  dry  before  it  reaches  the  party  ad- 
dressed. Nothing  is  more  offensive  than  a  wet  wafer.  We 
have  seen  a  commercial  man  tear  away  the  corner  of  a  note 
in  great  disgust,  when  delivered  to  him  thus  secured. 

Courtesy  requires  that  letters  of  condolence  to  a  friend  on 
the  death  of  a  relative,  should  be  written  on  black-edged 
paper,  and  sealed  with  black  wax,  even  should  you  have 
been  unacquainted  with  the  deceased. 

Give  the  proper  address  and  date  of  writing  at  the  head 
of  every  letter.  Never  assume  that  your  correspondent  knows 
your  address  so  well  that  it  is  unnecessary  to  repeat  it. 

Go  straight  to  your  main  subject  at  once,  whatever  it  may 
be  ;  for  therein  is  the  charm  of  all  good  writing.  Just 
observe  how  a  clever  "  leader  "  in  a  newspaper  arrests  your 
attention,  by  the  very  first  line,  or  cnrtainly  by  the  first 
paragraph. 

Avoid  postscripts,  for  they  are  ugly,  old-womanish y  and. 


68  rHESTERFrELD's   LETTER-WRITER. 

as  a  rale,  unnecessary.  Ladies  are  said  to  write  long  letters 
having"  no  meaning,  and  to  crush  into  a  postscript  the  only 
matter  of  importance  they  have  to  communicate.  ^J'his  we 
cannot  believe.  The  fair  are  more  shrewd  than  they  get 
credit  for  from  their  clumsy  partners.  A  postscript  contain- 
ing the  pith  of  the  letter  always  reminds  us  of  a  cracker 
attached  to  a  dog^s  tail ;  the  glory  is  at  the  wrong  end,  and 
the  spectacle  is  more  likely  to  amuse  the  observer  than 
arrest  the  attention  of  his  sober  sympathies. 

Long  letters  ore  mom  easily  written  than  short  ones,  for 
condensation  requires  some  exercise  of  skill.  Therefore,  do 
not  take  pride  in  the  length  of  your  letters,  as  our  members  of 
the  council  of  collectiv*-!  wisdom  do  in  their  long  speeches,  for 
though  both  may  servj^  as  anodynes,  or  at  least  as  soporifics, 
yet  we  do  not  desire  compulsory  repose  when  we  read  the 
one,  or  listen  to  the  other.  If  you  find  it  difficult  to  com- 
press your  thought?  rewrite  your  letter,  and  with  a  little 
perseverance  you  wi'i  soon  discover  that  a  great  many  hereby 
and  theres^  and  wkicKs,  and  whats,  and  ?/s,  and  huts,  besides 
no  end  of  superfluous  adjectives,  that  encumber  the  sense, 
and  render  many  tilings  more  "  wonderful,"  "  extraordinary," 
and  "unparalleled."  than  they  really  are  or  ever  will  be. 

In  writing  to  a  person,  especially  if  a  stranger,  on  your 
own  business  exclusively,  and  wishing  to  receive  an  answer, 
do  not  fail  to  enclose  a  stamp  for  that  purpose. 

And,  finally,  remember  that  whatever  you  write  is  writ- 
ten evidence  either  of  your  good  sense  or  your  folly,  your 
indnstiy  or  carelessness,  your  self-control  or  impatience 
What  you  have  once  put  into  the  letter-box,  may  cost  you 
/asting  regrets  or  be  equally  important  to  your  whole  future 
welfare.  i  nd,  for  such  grave  reasons,  think  before  ycu 
write,  and  think  while  you  are  writing. 


COMPLETE  RULES  OF  ETIQUETTE, 

AND 

THE  USAGES  OF  SOCIETT. 


f]Sri?EX    TO    COKTETSTTS. 


A^e  for  Marriage... 51 

Amusement,  places  of 34 

Ball-room  Etiquette 30-31 

Bashful  People *. 39 

Bashful  Girls 50 

Boy  Marriages 51 

Children  and  Dogs 47 

Cleanliness 39 

Confidants  for  Lovers 53 

Conversation 18 

Cutting  Acquaintances 7 

Dancing 22 

Dinner  Etiquette 29 

Din»er  Parties 25 

Eccentricity 41 

Evening  Parties 17 

Evening  A^isits 15 

French  Leave 24 

Games  and  Sports 21 

Hints  to  Ladies 43 

Invitations  to  Dinner 25 

Introductions 6 

Invitations  to  Parties 17 

Letters  of  Introduction 9-10 

Love  and  Courtship 50 

Love  Letters 57 

Lovers'  Quarrels 54 

Marriage  Engagements 55 

•  Marriage 62 

Jklarriage  Etiquette 63 


Miscellaneous  Hints 38 

Morning  Calls 12 

Naming  the  Marriage  Day 63 

New  Years  Calls 48 

New  Years  Receptions 49 

Operas  and  Concerts 35 

Politeness 5 

Presents  to  Latlies 53 

Principles  of  Etiquette 5 

Receiving  Company 15 

Receiving  Guests 45 

Salutations li 

Serving  Dinner 27-28 

Self-Introductions 7 

Selecting  Dresses 44 

Servants,  treatment  of 46 

Shaking  Hands 8^2-47 

Shopping 34 

Singing  and  Playing 47 

Skeleton  Love  Letters 58-60 

Steamboat  Etiquette 37 

Street  Etiquette 32 

Tattling 16 

The  Teeth 38 

Traveling 35-48 

Visiting 12 

Visits  of  Congratulation .13 

Visits  of  Condolence 14 

Visits  of  Friendship 14 

Waltzing <  .24 


ENTERED  ACCORDING  TO  ACT  OF  CONGRESS  in  the  year  1860 
by  Benjamin  H.  Day,  in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  United  States 
District  Court  for  the  Southern  District  of  New  York. 


P  R  E  F  A  0  E^ 


Many  books  have  been  written  on  Etiquette  and  tho 
Usages  of  Society  which  proved  to  be  useful  and  vakiable, 
especially  to  those  young  people  whose  positions  did  not 
enable  them  to  inform  themselves  from  personal  observa- 
tion of  the  standard  proprieties  of  social  life.  In  view  of 
this  fact,  I  do  not  expect  to  present  anything  novel  in  pre- 
scribing rules  for  correct  behaviour ;  but  shall  endeavor  to 
give,  in  a  brief  and  plain  manner,  all  the  practical  informa- 
tion that  is  necessary  for  a  novice  in  general  society  to 
know,  omitting  all  crude  advice,  and  remarks  on  people 
who  do  not  conform  to  the  code  of  politeness.  In  a  word, 
it  is  my  aim  to  simplify  the  r  des  of  Etiquette  so  they  can 
be  easily  understood  and  acted  upon. 

The  Avorks  hitherto  published  ©n  this  subject,  though 
mostly  large  and  expensive,  do  not  go  sufficiently  into 
minor  details  to  enable  the  uninitiated  reader  to  compre- 
hend the  various  phases  of  polite  society  without  a  good 
deal  of  close  study  and  attention.  I  havQ^  endeavored  to 
remedy  this  defect,  and  to  set  forth,  with  the  strictest 
economy  of  words,  all  that  is  necessary  to  know  of  the 
Msages  of  social  intercourse  among  well-bred  people. 

The  utility  of  good  manners  is  conceded  even  by  those 
whose  station  or  pursuits  in  life  do  not  enable  them  prac- 
tically to  cultivate  a  polite  and  genuine  courtesy.  To  such 
people  a  study  of  the  subject  is  necessar}^  Some  of  them, 
it  is  true,  may  have  an  instinctive  courtesy,  and  will  only 
require  to  know  a  few  of  the  leading  rules  to  make  them- 
eelves  equal  to  any  occasion.    But  the  largest  class  will 


have  to  examine  carefiilly  the  whole  routine  to  make  even 
a  tolerable  appearance  in  society. 

Good  manners  and  good  morals  are  founded  on  the 
same  eternal  principles  of  right,  and  are  only  different  ex- 
,  pressions  of  the  same  great  truths.  If,  therefore,  you 
^^'ould  excel  in  politeness,  you  must  first  be  satisfied  that 
your  morals  are  unexceptionable.  Manners  have  their 
origin  in  the  mind  and  the  heart.  They  do  not  make  the 
man,  as  sometimes  asserted ;  but  the  man  makes  the  man- 
ners. It  is  true,  however,  that  the  manners  react  upon 
mind  and  heart,  continually  developing  and  improving  the 
qualities  out  of  which  they  spring. 

Young  people,  who  just  begin  to  be  recognized  as  com- 
panions in  the  social  circle  rather  than  children,  may  study 
this  book  with  much  advantage.  By  becoming  familiar 
with  the  regulations  here  laid  down,  they  will  avoid  many 
errors  and  consequent  mortifications. 

It  is  to  these  classes  I  decidate  my  little  treatise.  I  do 
not  design  to  preach  to  them  a  homily  on  immorality  and 
ill-manners,  but  to  tell  them  briefly  what  constitutes  good 
manners. 

Books  of  Etiquette  are  sometimes  useful,  even  to  its 
most  fastidious  votaries,  for  reference  on  many  occasions ; 
and  the  more  plain  and  simple  the  rules  are  laid  down  in 
them  the  better  they  are  for  that  purpose.  Considering  all 
these  facts,  I  hope  and  think  that  my  book  will  meet  9  ' 
favorable  reception  with  the  public 


ETIQUETTE 

AND    THE    USAGES    OF    SOCIETY. 


The  true  principles  of  Etiquette  are  to  regulate  your 
conduct  towards  others  so  as  never  to  give  offence,  or  cause 
a  disagreeable  feeling — never  to  show  your  temper  or  make 
a  remark  that  you  think  will  create  an  unpleasant  sensation 
to  the  listener,  and  on  all  occasions  to  religiously  refrain 
from  gratuitous  intrusions,  of  whatever  nature.  You  should 
always  show  a  genuine  kindness  of  heart,  cultivate  a  cor- 
rect taste,  and  possess  such  self-control  as  never  to  be  rude 
or  discourteous  to  any  one,  however  far  he  may  transgress 
conventional  usages.  Lacking  these  qualities,  the  most 
perfect  knowledge  of  the  rules  of  etiquette,  and  the  strict- 
est obseiivance  of  them,  will  not  suffice  to  make  you  a  per- 
fect gentleman  or  lady. 

Politeness  seems  to  be  a  certain  care,  by  the  manner  of 
our  words  and  actions,  to  make  others  pleased  w^ith  us  and 
themselves :  and  the  grand  secret  of  never-failing  propri- 
ety of  deportment  is  to  have  an  intention  of  always  doing 
right.  To  some  people  these  peculiarities  come  naturjii ; 
but  most  of  mankind  must  acquire  them,  together  with  the 
art  of  behaviour,  by  study  and  practice. 

True  politeness  is  perfect  freedom  and  ease — treating 
others  just  as  you  like  to  be  treated.  Nature  is  always 
graceful ;  affectation,  with  all  her  art,  can  never  produce 
anything  half  so  pleasing.  The  very  perfection  of  elegance 
is  to  imitate  Nature ;  how  much  better  to  have  the  I'eality 
than  the  imitation !  Anxiety  about  the  opinions  of  others 
fetters  the  freedom  of  Nature  and  tends  to  awkwardness. 


6  ETIQUETTE. 

All  your  actions  should  therefore  be  so  unexceptionable 
as  to  give  you  a  frankness  of  character  that  will  inspire 
confidence  in  yourself  in  the  presence  of  the  most  exalted 
or  venerated  of  yom  friends. 

INTRODUCTIONS. 

It  is  the  common  custom  among  a  certain  class  in  the 
United  States,  particularly  in  New  England,  to  introduce 
friends  or  acquaintances  to  everybody  they  may  meet, 
whether  at  home,  abroad,  or  even  while  walking  or  riding 
out.  This  is  not  necessary  or  desirable,  for  promiscuous 
introductions  are  not  always  agreeable,  and  very  seldom 
serve  any  purpose  whatever.  It  is  generally  conceded  that 
an  introduction  is  a  sort  of  social  endorsement  of  the  per- 
son introduced ;  and  how  wrong  would  it  be,  under  such 
circumstances,  to  introduce  a  casual  acquaintance  of  whom 
you  know  nothing,  and  who  should  afterwards  prove  to 
be  anything  but  a  desirable  one.  These  remarks  apply 
more  particularly  to  family  introductions.  Young  men 
about  town  are  not  so  particular  about  whom  they  intro- 
duce to  each  other,  though  a  habit  of  universal  introduc- 
tions is  a  bad  one,  and  as  a  general  rule  a  young  man 
should  be  as  careful  of  whom  he  introduces  to  his  friends 
as  he  is  of  whose  note  he  would  endorse. 

Ko  gentleman  should  be  presented  to  a  lady  under  any 
circumstances,  unless  her  permission  has  been  previously 
obtained,  and  no  one  should  ever  be  introduced  into  the 
house  of  a  friend  except  by  permission  first  had.  Such 
introductions  we  know  are  frequent  and  usual,  but  they 
are  improper,  as  any  one  can  imagine  who  will  reflect  for 
a  moment.  For  how  can  you  know  that  introductions  of 
this  kind  will  be  agreeable  ?  If  a  person  asks  you  to  intro- 
duce him  to  certain  people,  you  may  decline  on  the  ground 
that  you  are  not  suflaciently  intimate  to  take  that  liberty. 

There  are  many  other  reasons  why  people  ought  never 
to  be  introduced  to  the  acquaintance  of  each  other,  with- 


rPTTRODUCTIONS.  7 

out  the  consent  of  each  party  previously  obtained.  A  man 
may  suit  the  taste,  and  be  agreeable  enough  to  one^  without 
being  equally  so  to  the  rest  of  his  friends — nay,  as  it  often 
happens,  he  may  be  decidedly  unpleasing.  A  stupid  per- 
son may  be  delighted  with  the  society  of  a  man  of  learn- 
ing or  talent,  to  whom  in  return  such  an  acquaintance  may 
prove  an  annoyance  and  a  clog,  as  one  incapable  of  offer- 
ing an  interchange  of  thought,  or  an  idea  worth  listening  to. 

Should  you  find  an  agreeable  person  in  private  society, 
w^ho  seems  desirous  of  making  your  acquaintance,  there 
cannot  be  any  objection  to  your  meeting  his  advances  half 
way,  although  the  ceremony  of  an  introduction  may  not 
have  taken  place ;  his  presence  in  your  friend's  house  being 
a  sufficient  guaranty  for  his  respectability,  as,  of  course,  if 
he  were  an  improper  person  he  would  not  be  there. 

If  you  meet  a  male  acquaintance  in  the  street,  accom- 
panied by  a  lady,  either  raise  or  take  ofi"  your  hat  to  him, 
instead  of  nodding — as  this  last  familiar  mode  of  recogni-- 
tion  looks  disrespectful  towards  her. 

Never  make  promiscuous  acquaintances  in  coffee-houses 
or  other  public  places.  As  no  person  who  respects  him- 
self does  so,  you  may  reasonably  suspect  any  advances 
made  to  you  in  such  a  x:>lacc. 

An  adherence  to  etiquette  is  a  mark  of  respect ;  if  a 
man  be  worth  knowing,  he  is  surely  worth  the  trouble  to 
approach  properly.  It  will  likewise  relieve  you  from  the 
awkwardness  of  being  acquainted  with  people  of  whom 
you  might  at  times  be  ashamed,  or  be  obliged  under  many 
circumstances  to  "cut." 

The  act  of  "  cutting"  can  only  be  justified  by  some 
strong  instance  of  bad  conduct  in  the  i:>crson  to  be  cut.  A 
cold  bow,  which  discourages  familiarity  without  offering 
insult,  is  the  best  mode  to  adopt  towards  those  with  whom' 
an  acquaintance  is  not  deemed  desirable.  An  increased 
observance  of  ceremony  is,  however,  the  most  delicate  way 
of  wi^bd*'3^Ing  Xrom  an  acquaintance ;  and  the  person  so 


8  ETIQUETTE. 

treated  must  be  obtuse^  indeed,  who  does  not  take  the  hint. 
And  when  you  observe  that  any  of  your  own  acquaint- 
ances appear  distant  and  more  than  usually  ceremonious 
towards  you,  you  may  suspect  that  they  desire  to  with, 
draw  their  intimacy,  if  not  their  friendship. 

In  making  introductions,  the  person  of  highest  consid- 
eration should  be  the  one  first  named — or  if  a  lady,  she 
should  be  first  addressed,  as,  "  Miss  Phillips,  permit  me  to 
introduce  Mr.  Day."  A  lady  may,  however,  be  introduced 
to  a  gentleman  much  her  superior  in  age  or  station.  Gen- 
tlemen and  ladies  who  are  presumed  to  be  equals  in  age 
and  position  are  mutually  introduced ;  as,  "  Mr.  Lincoln, 
allow  me  to  make  you  acquainted  with  Mr.  Jones ;  Mr. 
Jones,  Mr.  Lincoln." 

It  is  the  common  custom  in  this  country  to  shake  hands 
on  being  introduced.  This,  however,  should  be  optional 
with  the  person  to  w^hom  you  are  presented,  or  with  you, 
if  you  stood  in  the  position  of  the  superior.  If  a  lady,  or 
a  superior  in^age  or-  social  position,  offers  the  hand,  you  of 
course  accept  it  cordially.  You  will  have  too  much  self- 
respect  to  be  the  first  to  extend  the  hand  in  such  a  case. 
In  merely  formal  introductions  a  bow  is  enough.  Feeling 
should  govern  in  this  matter. 

In  introducing  members  of  your  own  family  you  should 
always  mention  the  name.  Say,  "  ^My  father,  Mr.  Kipp," 
"  My  daughter.  Miss  Kipp,"  or  "  Miss  Mary  Kipp."  Your 
wife  is  simply  "  Mrs.  Kipp ;"  and  if  there  happens  to  be 
another  ]\Irs.  Kipp  in  the  family,  she  may  be  "  Mrs.  Kipp, 
my  sister-in-law,"  &c.  To  speak  of  your  wife  as  ''  my 
lady,"  or  enter  yourselves  on  a  hotel  register  as  "Mr.  Kipp 
and  lady,"  is  not  the  correct  way,  though  many  worthy^ 
people  do  it. 

An  introduction  is  not  always  necessary  to  enable  you 
to  form  a  temporary  acquaintance.  There  is  no  reason  in 
the  world  why  two  persons  who  may  occupy  the  same  seat 
in  a  railway  car  or  a  stage  coach  should  remain  silent 


INTRODUCTIONS.  9 

during  the  wliole  journey  because  they  have  not  been  in- 
troduced, when  conversation  might  be  agreeable  to  both. 
The  same  remark  will  apply  to  many  other  occasions. 
You  are  not  obliged,  however,  to  know  these  extempore 
acquaintances  afterwards. 

If  you  are  a  gentleman,  do  not,  we  beg  you,  permit  the 
lack  of  an  introduction  to  x:>revent  you  from  promptly  offer- 
ing your  services  to  any  unattended  lady  who  may  need 
them.  Take  off  your  hat  and  politely  beg  the  honor  of 
protecting,  escorting,  or  assisting  her,  and  when  the  ser- 
vice has  been  accomplished,  bow  and  retire. 

LETTERS   OF   INTRODUCTION. 

These  are  of  two  kinds.  First,  as  to  business.  Second^ 
those  of  friendship.  For  example:  If  you  have  a  friend 
going  to  a  distant  place  to  transact  certain  business,  it  may 
be  necessary  for  him  to  form  some  acquaintances  there  for 
business  purposes  only.  You  have,  perhaps,  a  correspond- 
ent there ;  yet  you  are  not  sufficiently  intimate  to  ask  him 
lo  entertain  your  friend;  but  as  a  matter  of  common 
courtesy  he  cannot  refuse  to  accept  him  as  a  business  ac- 
quaintance, for  which  purpose  you  write  a  letter  similar  to 
the  following: 

Kew  Y^ork,  20th  September,  I860. 
Mr.  A.  J.  IIooPER : 

Dear  Sir — The  bearer  of  this  is  my  friend,  George  Jones, 
who  goes  to  New  Orleans  to  effect  a  settlement  with  the 
assignees  of  the  late  firm  of  Corning  &  Co.  As  he  will  be 
a  stranger  in  your  ci*y,  I  have  taken  the  liberty  to  intro- 
duce him  to  your  notice,  and  any  attention  or  advice  you 
may  give  him  will  be  duly  appreciated  by 

Your  faithful  serv't, 

George  Law. 

Mr.  Jones  presents  this  letter  to  Mr.  Hooper,  and  if  the 
latter  chooses  to  consider  it  strictly  a  business  letter,  there 
is  no  breach  of  etiquette.  He  can  invite  Mr.  Jones  to  hia 
house,  or  not,  as  he  pleases. 


10      *  ETIQUETTE. 

Ordinary  letters  of  introduction,  however,  are  consid- 
ered as  certificates  of  good  social  position,  and  proofs  that 
the  writer  knows  the  bearer  to  be  a  proper  person  to  be 
admitted  into  the  family  circle  of  the  person  to  whom  the 
letter  is  addressed.  But  yet  it  is  not  often  the  case  that 
such  a  letter  will  do  more  than  give  the  recipient  an  invi' 
tation  to  dinner,  unless  he  should  prove  to  be  an  uncom- 
mon agreeable  acquaintance.  Letters  of  introduction  are 
therefore  sometimes  facetiously  termed  "  tickets  for  soup," 
and  many  people  will  not  make  use  of  them  at  all,  for  that 
reason.  The  following  is  a  form  of  such  a  letter,  though" 
in  special  cases  it  may  be  written  in  more  urgent  terms : 

Washijs'Gton,  Sept.  10th,  1860. 
Bear  Sir — 

The  bearer  of  this,  Mr.  Edward  Everett,  an  esteemed 
friend  of  mine,  is  about  to  visit  London  for  the  first  time, 
and  will  consequently  be  a  stranger  in  your  metropolis. 
Any  attentions  which  you  may  extend  to  him  will  be  grate- 
fully appreciated  by 

Your  friend,  and  humble  servant, 

James  Buchanan. 
Ilgn.  John  Russell. 

It  is  not  customar}^  to  deliver  a  friendly  letter  of  intro- 
duction personally.  You  should  send  it  to  the  person  to 
whom  it  is  directed,  on  your  arrival,  accompanied  by  youf 
card  of  address.  If  he  desires  to  respond  to  the  request 
of  your  friend,  he  will  either  call  on  you  personally  or  give 
you  a  written  invitation  to  visit  him.  A  neglect  to  call 
would  be  considered  by  some  people  a  mark  of  ill-breed- 
ing, though  it  really  is  not,  as  the  person  addressed  may 
consult  his  own  convenience  or  feelings  in  the  matter. . 
Kor  is  he  compelled  to  invite  you  to  his  house  unless  he  is 
so  disposed.  A  simple  return  of  his  own  card  is  all  that  is 
required,  and  then  you  can  call  on  him  at  your  leisure. 

A  Letter  of  Introduction  should  never  be  sealed  by  tlie 
person  giving  it ;  but  the  recipient  should  seal  it  when  he 
sends  it  to  the  party  to  whom  it  is  addressed. 

0 


SALUTATIONS,  H 

In  Europe  it  is  always  customary  for  any  one  with  a 
letter  of  introduction  to  make  the  first  call ;  but  here  we 
are  more  considerate,  for  we  think  that  a  stranger  should 
never  be  made  to  feel  that  he  is  begging  for  our  atten- 
tions— that  he  possesses  a  certain  delicacy  tha?t  would  in- 
duce him  not  to  intrude  until  he  is  positive  that  his  com- 
pany would  be  agreeable.  Hence  if  you  desire  to  welcome 
any  one  recommended  to  you  by  letter  from  your  friend, 
call  upon  him  with  all  possible  dispatch  after  you  receive 
his  letter  of  introduction. 

S.\IiUTATIONS. 

If  you  meet  a  friend  in  the  street,  cr  in  any  public 
place,  do  not  call  him  by  name  loudly,  as,  "  All,  Brown, 
liow  d'ye  do  ?"  It  is  not  even  necessary  to  speak  his  name 
at  all  so  that  strangers  may  hear,'  as  modest  people  do  not 
desire  to  attract  notice  from  any  one.  Accost  your  friend 
quietly,  and  in  a  low  tone  of  voice. 

Should  you  meet  a  lady  of  your  acquaintance  in  the 
street,  or  in  a  public  place,  it  is  not  necessary  that  you 
should  speak,  or  even  notice  her,  unless  she  first  recognizes 
you.  You  should,  however,  give  her  ample  opportunity  to 
see  that  you  are  aware  of  her  presence.  If  she  bows,  you 
should  take  off  your  hat,  or  rather  lift  it  from  your  head. 
A  mere  touch  of  the  hat  will  not  answer.  There  are  no 
doubt  many  diffident  young  ladies  who  do  not  appreciate 
tlic  necessity  of  making  the  first  demonstration  when  they 
meet  their  male  acquaintances;  but  such  should  remember 
that  their  sex  is  always  paramount.  They  arc  at  liberty 
to  bow,  or  not,  as  they  please,  while  a  gentleman  would 
make  an  almost  unpardonable  breach  of  good  manners 
should  he  neglect  to  respond  to  the  least  possible  nod  of  a 
lady. 

Salutations  should  vary  in  style  with  persons,  times, 
places  and  circumstances.  You  will  meet  a  friend  with  a 
BliuKe  of  the  hand  and  an  inquiry  after  his  healtl\,  and  that 


l2  iLTlf^Vl^lTT-E. 

of  his  family,  if  jov.  liSbYe  been  introduced  there.  To  a 
shght  acquaintance  yon  will  respectfully  bow  without 
speaking,  or  faintly  recognise  him  in  any  other  way.  But 
In  no  case  should  you  refuse  to  return  recognitions  of  this 
kind  made  by  any  person  whatever.  Even  to  your  enemy 
it  is  in  bad  taste  to  decline  a  recognition  should  he  salute 
you.  In  sparsely  settled  places  it  is  customary  to  salute 
everybody  you  meet  with  a  bow,  and  the  custom  is  an  ex- 
cellent one,  as  it  shows  kindly  feeling  and  a  good  heart. 


In  fiishionable  life  visits  and  calls  are  made  systemati- 
cally, as  we  will  enumerate :  First  as  to  visits  of  ceremony. 
Every  lady  thinks  she  must  call  on  all  her  female  acquairt- 
anccs  at  stated  times ;  it  becomes  habitual  with  her  to  do 
so,  and  she  considers  it  a  duty.  These  calls  arc  usually 
short,  and  by  means  of  them  all  the  little  gossip  which  is 
jnfloat  may  be  as  thorougly  and  extensively  circulated  as 
though  it  were  printed  in  the  newspapers.  The  usual  time 
ior  a  morning  call  in  New  York  is  from  eleven  until  three 
or  four  o'clock.  Formerly  they  ceased  at  two.  These 
calls  should  be  timed  so  as  to  end  a  full  hour  before  din- 
ner, therefore  in  country  towns,  v/herc  people  rise  at  six, 
and  dine  at  twelve  and  one  o'clock,  they  should  be  made 
earlier  in  the  day — say  from  nine  till  eleven  or  twelve 
c'clocli.  They  are  denominated  morning  calls,  because 
"morning"  in  fashionable  parlance  means  any  time  be- 
fore dinner. 

In  making  a  morning  call,  the  lady  does  not  take  off 
her  bonnet  and  shawl,  and  she  usually  stays  from  ten  to 
twenty  minutes.  Sometimes  (though  seldom)  a  lady  may 
Kiake  her  calls  attended  by  a  gentleman.  In  such  a  case 
he  assists  her  up  the  steps,  rings  the  bell,  and  follows  her 
into  the  reception  room.  He  should  never  suggest  that  it 
is  time  to  go,  but  wait  until  the  lady  gives  the  signal.  He 
must-  take  his  hat  and  cane  into  the  room  with  him,  and 


VISITTN'G.  13 

keep  them  in  his  hand,  as  it  is  not  proper  to  leave  them  in 
the  liall  on  such  an  occasion. 

Do  not  handle  any  of  the  articles  of  Ujouterie  in  the 
houses  where  j^ou  may  call  or  visit.  They  may  be  ad- 
mired, but  not  touched. 

In  making  a  call,  if  the  lady  called  upon  is  not  at  home, 
leave  your  card,  if  you  have  one  ;  and  if  there  are  several 
ladies  there  who  you  wish  to  see,  desire  the  servant  to  pre- 
sent your  compliments  to  them  severally.  Sliould  you  not 
have  a  card,  leave  your  name  with  the  servant,  of  course. 

When  a  call  or  visit  is  terminated,  it  is  customary  among 
fiishionable  people  to  ring  the  bell  for  a  servant  to  open 
the  front  door;  and  this  is  necessary  unless  you  attend 
your  visitor  to  the  door  and  open  it  yourself,  which  is 
sometimes  done  by  people  who  do  not  stand  upon  cere- 
mony. Some  persons  would  feel  that  they  were  shame- 
fully neglected  if  allowed  to  go  alone  to  the  front  door  and 
let  themselves  out. 

In  calling  upon  a  person  living  at  a  hotel,  it  is  custom- 
ary to  stop  in  the  parlor  and  send  your  card  to  their  rooms. 
Among  intimate  acquaintances  such  formality  may  not  be 
necessary. 

Ladies  should  make  their* morning  calls  in  a  simple 
neglige — not  in  their  richest  dresses.  Gentlemen  may  dress 
with  either  a  frock  or  sack  coat. 

Visits  of  congratulation  are  made  on  the  occurrence  of 
any  happy  or  auspicious  event  Avhich  may  have  occurred 
in  the  family  visited — such  as  a  birth,  a  marriage,  or  any 
piece  of  good  fortune.  Such  visits  are  similar  to  the  morn- 
ing call,  unless  made  by  special  invitation  in  the  evening. 
When  a  person  is  going  abroad  to  be  absent  for  a 
considerable  period,  if  he  has  not  time  or  inclination  to 
^take  leave  of  all  his  friends  he  will  enclose  each  of  them 
his  card.  Upon  the  envelope  he  will  write  the  letters 
T.  T.  L.,  or  else  the  words  "  to  take  leave"  in  fiili.  On 
his  returning  home  it  is  customary  that  his  friends  should 


14  ETIQUETTE. 

first  call  upon  him.    If  they  neglect  to  do  so  he  may  drop 
their  acquaintance  if  he  chooses. 

Visits  of  condolence  should  never  be  delayed  beyond 
the  next  week  after  a  death  occurs  in  a  family,  and  such 
,'Visics  among  friends  are  usually  considered  in  the  light  of 
absolute  duties. 

Visits  of  friendship  are  conducted  by  no  particular  rules 
of  etiquette,  as  it  is  to  be  presumed  that  intimate  friends, 
or  relatives,  understand  each  other's  tastes  and  peculiari- 
ties, and  will  conduct  themselves  in  a  manner  mutually 
agreeable.  Such  visits  may  occasionally  be  made  under 
misapprehension,  because  there  are  many  people  in  the 
world  who  are  extremely  fond  of  change,  and  will  often 
persuade  themselves  that  their  society  is  coveted,  when  in 
fact  they  are  not  particularly  welcome.  Persons  of  any 
degree  of  sagacity  can  easily  discriminate  in  their  recep- 
tion the  free  and  hearty  welcome  from  the  polite  and  easy 
grace  which  duty  makes  imperative.  With  intimate  friends 
all  strict  ceremony  can  be  dispensed  with,  but  yet  there  are 
certain  liberties  which  you  may  enjoy  at  home,  that  are  not 
exactly  proper  to  take  in  the  house  of  a  friend  or  relative. 
Criticising  the  conduct  of  servants,  or  children,  or  the  acts 
of  any  member  of  the  household,  or  the  domestic  man 
agemcnt  generally,  is  in  verj^  bad  taste,  though  it  may  be 
done  with  the  utmost  good  nature.  No  well  bred  person 
will  ever  make  rem;^rks  of  any  kind  upon  the  habits,  faults 
or  foibles  of  a  family  where  they  arc  paying  a  visit  of 
friendship ;  and  to  drop  these  remarks  after  they  have  left 
only  shows  that  they  were  not  deserving  the  confidence 
and  attentions  they  received.  In  such  visits  you  should 
strictly  apply  the  rule  to  do  nothing  by  act,  word  or  deed 
that  may  cause  a  disagreeable  feeling  on  the  part  of  your 
entertainer ;  which  rule,  as  we  have  before  explained,  is 
the  fundamental  principle  of  gentility. 

Never  make  a  visit  of  friendship  unless  you  have  either 
ft  special  or  general  invitation.    Many  people  take  it  for 


granted  that  their  friends  desire  to  see  them  on  any  and  all 
occasions,  and  in  this  way  frequently  become  bores.  Nei- 
ther should  you  ever  beg  an  invitation,  or  intimate  by  word 
or  action  that  you  desire  to  make  a  friendly  visit,  and  only 
wait  to  be  asked,  as  in  such  a  case  you  would  run  the  risk 
of  disgusting  your  friend. 

Evening  visits,  or  parties,  are  sometimes  formal,  but 
more  frequently  mere  social  gatherings.  In  the  latter 
case,  when  a  lady  is  invited  alone,  she  may  bring  a  gentle- 
man with  her  if  she  pleases.  She  presents  him  tirst  to  the 
lady  of  the  house,  who  is  presumed  to  receive  all  her  visit- 
ors as  they  arrive. 

If  you  should  happen  to  pay  an  evening  visit  at  a  house, 
where  a  small  party  had  assembled  unknown  to  you,  do 
not  retire  with  an  apology,  but  present  yourself  precisely 
as  you  would  have  done  had  you  been  invited ;  and  then 
if  you  desire  to  leave  shortly  afterwards,  you  can  plead  as 
an  excuse  that  you  had  only  intended  to  make  a  short  call, 
and  had  an  engagement  elsewhere.  In  this  way  you  will 
not  in  the  least  disturb  the  harmony  of  the  assemblage  or 
cause  an  unpleasant  feeling  to  any  one. 

RECEIVINO    COMPANY. 

The  mistress  of  the  house  usually  receives  the  visitors, 
though  at  evening  parties  the  master  will  often  officiate 
with  her.  The  receptions  should  be  performed  in  an  easy, 
quiet,  and  self-possessed  manner,  and  without  unnecessary 
ceremony.  If  the  persons  arriving  are  strangers  to  any  of 
the  company  present,  the  names  are  announced  on  their 
entering  the  room,  and  they  are  afterwards  introduced  per- 
sonally  to  such  of  the  company  as  may  desire  an  introduc- 
tion, or  with  whom  they  may  wish  to  enter  into  conversa- 
tion, or  play,  or  to  dance. 

When  any  one  enters,  whether  announced  or  not,  the 
master  or  mistress  should  rise  immediately,  advance  to- 
wards him,  and  request  him  to  take  a  seat    If  it  is  a  young 


is  ETIQUETTE, 

man,  offer  him  an  ann-cliair,  or  a  stuffed  one ;  if  an  elderly 
man,  insist  upon  his  accepting  the  arm-chair  •,^  if  a  lady,  beg 
her  to  bo  seated  upon  the  sofa.  If  the  master  of  the  house 
receives  the  visitors,  he  will  take  a  chair  and  place  him- 
self at  a  little  distance  from  them ;  if,  on  the  contrary,  it  i3 
the  mistress,  and  if  she  is  intimate  with  the  lady  who  visits 
her,  she  will  place  herself  near  her.  If  several  ladies  come 
at  once,  we  give  the  most  honorable  place  to  the  one  who, 
from  age  or  other  considerations,  is  most  entitled  to  re- 
spect. In  winter,  the  most  honorable  places  are  those  at 
the  corners  of  the  lire-place,  if  you  have  a  fire  in  it.  If  the 
visitor  is  a  stranger,  when  the  master  or  mistress  of  the 
house  rises,  any  person  who  may  be  already  in  the  room 
should  do  the  same,  unless  the  comj^any  is  a  large  one. 
"When  any  of  the  company  withdraw,  the  master  or  mis- 
tress of  the  house  should  conduct  them  as  far  as  the  door. 
But  whoever  the  person  may  be  who  departs,  if  we  have 
other  company,  wx  may  dispense  with  conducting  them 
farther  than  the  door  of  the  room. 

On  his  first  arrival,  the  visitor  should  salute  the  lady 
before  he  takes  notice  of  any  one  else.  If  she  receives 
him,  this  duty  will  be  performel  as  a  matter  of  course,  but 
in  case  she  should  not  happen  to  do  so,  he  must  still  make 
his  bow  to  her  before  speaking  to  any  other  person. 

TATTLING. 

In  all  sociaY  intercourse,  conversations  will  take  place 
in  which  opinions  are  given  and  motives  scrutinized  which 
it  would  be  extremely  improper  to  repeat.  Yet  we  find  a 
great  many  people  who  delight  in  retailing  remarks  made 
by  one  party  upon  another,  thus  stirring  up  discord  and 
strengthening  hatred  wheresoever  they  appear.  Such 
characters  are  the  bane  of  country  society.  What  is  more 
absurd,  for  instance,  than  if  one  lady  should  say  to  ano- 
ther—'' Well,  Jane,  what  do  you  think  Lucretia  Smith  says 
of  you  ?     She  says  you  have  the  thickest  ankles  and  the 


KYENI2^G    TaRTIES.  X7 

thinnest  arms  of  any  girl  in  town — that  your  shape  is  liko 
an  alligator's,  and  your  head  resembles  that  of  a  bison  !" 

Another  class  of  tattlers  are  those  who  visit  their  fricndg 
and  take  note  of  all  the  habits  and  customs  of  the  family, 
(lie  conversations  at  table,  the  government  of  children, 
treatment  of  servants,  family  expenditures,  employments 
and  dress  of  the  mistress,  and  even  the  late  hours  of  the 
male  members,  should  there  be  any  who  stay  out  late. 
Tiiesc  are  told  in  detail  at  the  next  visiting  place.  It  is 
almost  unnecessary  to  say  that  such  people  ire  contempt- 
ible. If  you  wish  to  preserve  any  claim  to  respectability 
or  social  position,  you  will  refrain  from  criticising,  ev^en  by 
a  single  unfavorable  remark,  anything  you  may  have  ob- 
served in'  the  house  of  a  friend  v/here  you  were  stopping 
as  a  guest. 

foii:mal  evening  parties. 

These  are  of  various  kinds,  and  more  or  less  ceremo- 
nious, according  to  the  taste  of  the  persons  giving  them. 
Some  people  who  desire  to  be  extremely  fashionable  overdo 
the  thing  and  make  their  friends  uncomfortable.  The  best 
plan  is  not  to  stand  much  upon  ceremony,  but  exert  your- 
self to  make  all  your  visitors  at  ease. 

Invitations  to  large  evening  parties  are  usually  written 
ones,  though  it  u  by  no  means  necessary  to  send  such  to 
your  intimate  friends.  A  verbal  message  to  them  is  quite 
sufficient.  An  answer  to  an  invitation  should  always  be 
promptly  given.  A  written  invitation  to  an  evening  party 
runs  as  follows : 

Mrs.  Edgerton  presents  her  compliments  to  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Day,  and  requests  the  pleasure  of  their  company  on 
Friday  evening,  the  19th  inst. 

311  Fifth  avenue,  Tuesday. 

Pieaso  oblige  by  aa  answer. 

Should  your  party  be  given  to  celebrate  any  particulai 
event,  such  as  a  daughter's  birth-day,  the  anniversary  of  yovu: 


iS  ETIQUETTE. 

marriage,  &c.,  3'ou  can  add  to  the  note  the  words,  "  it  be- 
ing our  daughter  Susan's  fifteenth  birth-day,"  or  "  it  being 
the  twentieth  anniversary  of  our  marriage,"  &c. 

If  the  persons  invited  by  note  desire  to  accept  the  invi- 
tation, they  will  write  a  reply  similar  to  the  following : 

Mpv.  and  Mrs.  Day  present  their  compliments  to  Mrs. 
Edgerton,  and  accept  with  pleasure  her  kind  invitation  for 
Friday  evening. 
NYednesday. 

.  If,  on  the  contrary,  they  wish  to  decline,  it  is  not  neces- 
sary to  give  any  reason  for  it,  but  simply  write  a  note  as 
follows : 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Day  present  their  compliments  to  Mrs. 
Edgerton,  and  regret  that  circumstances  will  prevent  their 
acceptance  of  her  kind  invitation  for  Friday  evening. 
Wednesday. 

Having  acceptea  an  invitation  to  a  party,  never  fail  to 
keep  your  promise,  even  if  the  weather  should  prove  un- 
favorable. But  in  case  of  a  severe  storm,  you  will  be  ex- 
cusable. A  married  man  should  never  accept  an  invitation 
of  ^his  kind  unless  his  wife  is  included  in  it. 

CONVERSATION. 

Many  men  of  talent  forget  that  the  object  of  conversa- 
tion is  to  entertain  and  amuse,  and  that  society,  to  be  agree- 
able, must  never  be  made  the  arena  of  dispute.  Some  per- 
sons spoil  every  party  they  join  by  making  it  their  only 
object  to  prove  that  every  one  present  is  in  the  wrong  but 
themselves.  It  requires  so  much  tact  and  good  breeding 
to  sustain  an  argument,  however  logical  and  correct  the 
argucr  ^nay  be,  that  an  avoidance  of  it  will  gain  him  more 
popularity  than  a  triumph  over  his  adversary  could  accom- 
plisli.  Even  slight  inaccuracy  in  statement  of  focts  Oi 
opinions  should  rcirely  be  remarked  on  in  conversation. 

A  man  should  never  permit  himself  to  lose  his  temper 
in  sooicty — nor  show  that  ho  has  taken  olfence  at  any  sup- 


co^^vEIlSATI02^\  19 

posed  slight.  It  places  him  in  a  disadvantageous  position 
— betraying  an  absence  of  self-respect,  or  at  the  least  of 
self-possession. 

If  any  one  should  assume  a  disagreeable  tone  of  voice, 
or  offensive  manner  towards  you,  never  resent  it  in  com- 
]iany — and  above  all,  do  not  adopt  the  same  style  in  your 
conversation  with  him ;  appear  not  to  notice  it,  and  gen- 
erally it  will  be  discontinued,  as  it  will  be  seen  that  it  has 
failed  in  its  object :  besides  which  j^ou  save  your  temper, 
which  is  an  important  consideration. 

Be  careful  in  company  how  you  defend  your  friends,  un- 
less the  conversation  be  addressed  to  yourself.  Remem- 
ber that  nobody  is  perfect,  and  people  may  sometimes 
speak  the  truth ;  and  that,  if  contradicted,  they  may  be  de- 
sirous of  justifying  themselves,  and  will  prove  what  might 
otherwise  have  been  a  matter  of  doubt. 

Never  talk  at  people — it  is  in  the  worst  possible  taste, 
as  it  is  taking  an  unfair  advantage  of  them.  If  there  be 
anything  said  that  you  dislike,  speak  your  mind  boldly, 
and  give  the  parties  saying  it  an  opportunity  of  explaining, 
or  of  defending  themselves.  If  you  do  not  choose  to  do 
this,  be  silent. 

Do  not  repeat  the  name  of  the  person  to  whom  you  are 
speaking — as,  "  Indeed,  Mr.  Jones,  you  don't  say  so,  sir :" 
or,  "  Really,  Mrs.  Brown,  I  quite  agree  with  you,  Mrs. 
Brown."     It  is  a  very  bad  habit. 

In  talking  of  your  own  children,  never  speak  of  them 
«\s  "  Master  William,"  or  "  Miss  Jane ;"  "  Mr.  Henry,"  or 
"  Miss  Louisa :"  it  is  a  silly  attempt  to  elevate  both  them 
and  yourself,  and  is  practiced  only  by  vulgar  and  self-con- 
ceited people. 

When  giving  or  attending  parties,  do  not  mistake 
stiffness  for  dignity.  The  very  spirit  of  good  breeding  con- 
Bists  in  being  easy  and  natural  yourself,  and  in  the  endeavor 
to  make  others  the  same.  Etiquette  is  only  the  arrrwr 
of  society ;  and  v/hen  your  position  is  fairly  established,  it 


20  '^TlQUETTE 

may  be  thrown  aside,  at  least  so  far  as  is  consistent  "svitb 
good  feeling  and  decorum. 

Avoid  a  loud  tone  of  voice  in  conversation,  or  a  "  liorse 
laugh:"  both  are  exceedingly  vulgar;  and  if  practiced, 
strangers  may  think  that  you  are  a  retired  politician,  who 
had  acquired  the  practice  in  bar-room  harangues.  You 
should  speak  in  a  slightly  subdued  tone  of  voice,  which  we 
fear  can  only  be  acquired  in  good  society.  Be  cautious 
also  how  you  take  the  lead  in  conversation,  unless  it  be 
be  forced  upon  you,  lest  people  may  reiterate  the  remark 
made  by  Dr.  Johnson  on  a  certain  distinguished  personage 
famous  for  his  self-assurance,  viz. :  that  he  was  like  a  great 
toe  in  society ;  the  most  ignoble  i^art  of  the  body,  yet  ever 
thrust  foremost. 

Be  very  careful  how  you  "  show  off"  in  strange  com- 
pany, unless  you  be  thoroughly  conversant  with  yo\iv  sub- 
ject, as  you  are  never  sure  of  the  person  next  to  whom  you 
may  be  seated.  It  is  a  common  occurrence  for  3^oung  gen- 
tlemen of  very  shallow  pretensions  to  endeavor  to  astonish 
country  society,  never  dreaming  tliat  other  persons  may  be 
present  equi.ll/  posted,  and  i^erhaps  far  more  intelligent 
than  themselves.  Indeed,  as  the  consciousness  of  igno- 
rance is  apt  to  make  people  peculiarly  sensitive,  it  would 
be  as  well  to  avoid  all  subjects  with  which  3'ou  suspect  the 
generality  of  persons  present  cannot  be  acquainted ;  for,  as 
the  mere  introduction  of  such  topics  will  be  considered  and 
resented  as  an  assumption  on  your  part,  should  you  happen 
to  be  vanquished  on  your  own  ground,  your  defeat  will  be 
the  more  humiliating. 

In  a  room  full  of  company,  you  should  never  take  a 
person  aside  to  whisper.  It  is  extremely  vulgar  and  offen- 
sive. If  you  have  anything  to  say  in  private,  retire  to  ano- 
ther  room. 

Lounging  on  sofas  or  easy  chairs,  tipping  back  your 
chair  on  two  legs,  throwing  your  leg  over  your  knee,  or 
sitting  in  any  unnatural  po^Hion — these  habits  are  always 


CONVERSATION.  21 

considered  indecorous,  and  when  ladies  are  present  are 
deemed  extremely  vulgar.  Do  not  cross  a  room  in  an  anx- 
ious manner,  and  force  j^our  way  up  to  a  lady  merely  to 
receive  a  bow,  as  by  so  doing  you  attract  the  eyes  of  tliG 
company  towards  her.  If  you  are  desirous  of  being  no- 
ticed by  any  one  in  particular,  put  yourself  in  their  way  as 
if  by  accident,  and  do  not  let  them  see  that  you  have  sought 
them  out ;  unless,  indeed,  there  be  something  very  impor- 
tant to  communicate. 

Never  introduce  professional  topics  in  general  conver- 
sation at  a  party.  Yery  few  persons  can  be  interested  in 
your  private  business  matters,  and  you  must  remember 
that  the  object  is  to  entertain  others,  not  yourself.  You 
should  be  careful,  also,  not  to  introduce  topics  that  have 
only  a  local  interest,  and  you  should  never  speak  slight- 
ingly of  those  who  are  the  friends  of  any  one  present. 

Mothers  should  be  on  their  guard  not  to  repeat  nursery 
anecdotes  or  bon-mots^  as,  however  interesting  to  them- 
selves, they  are  seldom  so  to  others.  Long  stories  should 
always  be  avoided,  as,  however  well  told,  they  interrupt 
general  conversation,  and  leave  the  impression  that  the 
narrator  thought  the  company  dull,  and  consequently  en- 
deavored to  amuse  it. 

Never  use  the  term  "genteel"  in  conversation.  To 
convey  your  idea,  substitute  "  well-bred  person,"  with  "  the 
manners  of  a  gentleman,"  or  "  a  gentleman."  In  speaking 
of  any  one  do  not  say  Mr.  A.,  Mrs.  B.,  or  Miss  C.  Pro- 
nounce the  whole  name.  Nothing  sounds  more  abominable 
than  to  hear  a  woman  speak  of  her  husband  as  Mr.  B. 

GAMES  AND   SrOIlTS. 

In  some  of  the  evening  social  gatherings,  a  variety  of 
sports,  or  plays,  are  frequently  introduced.  Entering  into 
the  spirit  of  them  we  throw  off  the  restraints  of  more  for- 
mal intercourse,  but  they  furnish  no  excuse  for  rudeness. 
You  should  never  forget  your  politeness,  or  allow  yourself 


22  ETIQUETTE. 

to  take  liberties,  or  lose  your  sense  of  delicacy  and  propri- 
ety, while  engaged  in  these  amusements. 

The  selection  of  games  or  sports  belongs  to  the  ladies, 
though  gentlemen  may  modestly  propose  them,  and  ask 
the  opinion  of  the  ladies  on  the  subject.  The  promiscuous 
kissing  which  frequently  forms  a  part  of  the  performances 
in  some  of  these  games,  is  now  considered  in  bad  taste.  It 
has  been  brought  into  disfavor  by  the  too  fervent  salutes 
which  gentlemen,  or  rather  male  visitors,  have  substituted 
for  the  mere  passive  ones  intended.  A  lady  will  offer  her 
lips  to  be  kissed  only  to  her  lover  or  husband,  and  not  to 
th^m  in  company.  Any  breach  of  this  rule  in  plays  or 
games  is  wrong.  The  French  code  of  kissing  is  the  proper 
one,  viz. :  "  Give  your  hand  to  a  gentleman  to  kiss,  your 
cheek  to  a  friend,  but  keep  your  lips  for  ycur  lover." 

Never  prescribe  any  forfeiture,  in  a  game,  which  can 
wound  the  feelings  of  any  of  the  company ;  and  you  should 
pay  those  which  may  be  adjudged  to  you  with  cheerful 
promptness. 


As  an  evening  party  is  often  only  anotber  name  for  a 
dancing  party,  we  will  here  give  the  rules  observed  in 
fashionable  dancing  parties,  or  sociables,  in  New  York 
City.  If  not  applicable  everywhere,  they  contain  hints 
which  will  be  useful  to  every  one  who  dances : 

1.  Draw  on  your  gloves  (white  or  j^ellow)  in  the  dross- 
ing-room,  and  do  not  be  for  one  moment  with  them  off'  in 
the  dancing-rooms.  At  supper  take  them  off;  nothing  is 
more  preposterous  than  to  eat  in  gloves. 

2.  When  you  are  sure  of  a  place  in  the  dance,  j^ou  go 
up  to  a  lady  and  ask  iier  if  she  will  do  you  tlie  lionov  to 
dance  with  5^011.  If  she  answers  that  she  is  engaged 
merely  request  her  to  nam.e  the  earliest  dance  for  which 
she  is  not  engaged,  and  when  she  will  do  you  the  honor 
of  dancing  with  ^^ou. 


DANCING.  23    ' 

3  If  a  gentleman  offers  to  dance  with  a  lady,  slie  should 
not  refuse,  unless  for  some  particular  and  valid  reason,  in 
which  case  she  can  accept  the  next  offer.  But  if  she  has 
no  further  objection  than  a  temporary  dislike  or  a  piece  of 
coquetry,  it  is  a  direct  insult  to  him  to  refuse  him  and  ac- 
cept  the  next  offer ;  besides,  it  shows  too  marked  a  prefer- 
ence for  the  latter. 

4.  When  a  lady  is  standing  in  a  quadrille,  though  not 
engaged  in  dancing,  a  gentleman  not  acquainted  with  her 
partner  should  not  converse  with  her. 

5.  When  an  unpracticed  dancer  makes  a  mistake,  we 
may  apprise  him  of  his  error ;  but  it  would  be  very  impo- 
lite to  have  the  air  of  giving  him  a  lesson. 

6.  Unless  a  man  has  a  veiy  graceful  figure,  and  can  use 
it  with  great  elegance,  it  is  better  for  him  to  walk  through 
the  quadrilles,  or  invent  some  gliding  movement  for  the 
occasion. 

7.  At  the  end  of  the  dance,  the  gentleman  re-conducts 
the  lady- to  her  place,  bows  and  thanks  her  for  the  honor 
which  she  has  conferred.     She  also  bows  in  silance. 

8.  The  master  of  the  house  should  see  that  all  the  ladies 
dance.  He  should  take  notice  particularly  of  those  who 
seem  to  serve  as  draper?/  to  the  walls  of  the  ball-room  (or 
7€aU  flowers^  as  the  familiar  expression  is,)  and  should  see 
that  they  are  invited  to  dance. 

9.  Ladies  who  dance  much  should  be  very  careful  not 
to  boast  before  those  who  dance  but  little  or  not  at  all,  of 
the  great  number  of  dances  for  which  they  are  engaged  in 
advance.  They  should  also,  without  being  perceived, 
recommend  these  less  fortunate  ladies  to  gentlemen  of 
their  acquaintance. 

10.  For  any  of  the  members,  either  sons  or  daughters-, 
of  the  family  at  whose  house  the  ball  is  given,  to  dance ^ 
frequently  or  constantly,  denotes  decided  ill-breeding.  Tlie 
ladies  of  the  house  should  not  occupy  tliose  places  in  a 
q^uadrille  which  others  may  wish  to  fill,  and  they  should, 


3^4  ETIQUETTE. 

moreover^  be  at  leisure  to  attend  to  the  rest  of  tlie  com- 
pany ;  and  the  gentlemen  should  be  entertaining  the  mar- 
ried women  and  those  who  do  not  dance. 

11.  Never  hazard  taking  part  in  a  quadrille  unless  you 
know  how  to  dance  tolerably ;  for  if  you  are  a  novice,  or 
but  little  skilled,  you  w^ould  bring  disorder  into  the  midst 
of  pleasure. 

13.  If  a  lady  waltz  with  you,  beware  not  to  press  her 
waist ;  3'^ou  must  only  lightly  touch  it  with  the  open  palm 
of  3^our  hand,  lest  you  leave  a  disagreeable  impression  not 
only  on  her  ceinture^  but  on  her  mind. 

13.  If  you  accompany  your  wife  to  a  dancing  party,  be 
careful  not  to  dance  with  her,  except  perhaps  the  first  set. 

14.  When  that  long  and  anxiously  desiderated  hour, 
the  hour  of  supper,  has  arrived,  you  hand  the  lady  you  at- 
tend up  or  down  to  the  supper-table.  You  remain  with 
her  while  she  is  at  the  table,  seeing  that  she  has  all  that 
she  desires,  and  then  conduct  her  back  to  the  dancing- 
rooms. 

15.  A  gentleman  attending  a  lady  should  invariably 
dance  the  first  set  with  her,  and  may  afterwards  introduce 
her  to  a  friend  for  the  purj^ose  of  dancing. 

16.  Ball-room  introductions  cease  with  the  dancing; 
and  the  gentleman  should  never  again  approach  the  lady 
by  salutation,  or  any  other  mode,  without  a  re-introduction 
of  a  formal  character. 

This  code  must  be  understood  as  applying  in  full  only 
to  fashionable  dancing  parties  in  the  city,  though  most  of 
the  rules  should  be  adhered  to  in  any  place.  The  good 
sense  of  the  reader  will  enable  him  to  modify  them  to  suit 
any  particular  occasion. 

FRENCH  LEAVE. 

If  you  desire  to  withdraw  before  the  party  breaks  up, 
take  "  French  leave" — that  is,  go  quietly  out  without  dis- 
turbing any  one,  and  without  saluting  even  the  mistress 


DI.NNEKS.  25 

of  the  house,  uiiiess  you.  can  do  so  without  attracting  at- 
tention. The  contrary  course  would  interrupt  the  rest  of 
the  company,  and  call  for  otherwise  unnecessary  explana- 
tions and  ceremony.  If  you  are  an  intimate  friend  of  the 
family,  perhaps  it  would  be  more  proper  to  take  leave  of 
the  lady  of  the  house  in  private. 

DINNER   PARTIES   AND   DINNERS. 

Until  quite  recently,  dinners  were  given  in  the  most 
agonizing  ceremonious  manner.  But  we  are  happy  to  in- 
form all  mankind  that  a  little  common  sense  is  now  used 
In  dispensing  the  principal  meal  to  hungry  mortals.  What 
was  thought  to  be  the  height  of  good  taste  and  superlative 
refinement  a  few  years  ago,  is  now  declared  vulgar,  and 
the  dinners  of  this  day  are  not  such  tiresome  affairs  as 
those  inflicted  on  our  parents.  A  dinner  party  in  the  yeai- 
1860  is  almost  as  difllcult  to  describe  as  the  gyrations  of  a 
pic-nic,  so  different  are  the  customs  of  different  people, 
and  so  few  ceremonies  are  really  necessary.  It  used  to  be 
said  that  many  a  man  would  pass  muster  in  society  as  a 
gentleman  until  he  accepted  an  invitation  to  dinner.  But 
unless  he  was  perfectly  aufait^  dinner  would  surely  betray 
him.     All  this  is  changed  now. 

An  invitation  to  dinner  is  generally  given  several  days 
beforehand.  It  may  be  written  or  verbal.  If  you  send  out 
notes,  they  should  be  brief  and  unpretending,  something 
like  the  following : 

Tuesday,  Sept.  16th,  1860. 
Mr.  George  Jones  requests  the  pleasure  of  your  com- 
pany at  Dinner,  on  Friday,  the  19th  inst.,  at  six  o'clock. 
W.  B.  AsTOR,  Esq. 

If  it  is  a  family  dinner  party,  the  note  should  begin 
*'  Mr.  and  Mrs.  George  Jones  would  be  happy,"  &c.,  and 
should  be  addressed  to  Mr.  and  Mrs.  W.  B.  Astor,  or  to 
W.  B.  Astor,  Esq.,  and  Mrs.  Astor,  according  as  your  taste 
may  dictate. 


26  ETIQUETTE. 

Persons  who  receive  an  invitation  to  dinner  should 
give  a  prompt  answer,  either  verbally,  or  by  note.  The 
note  must  be  brief,  as  follows : 

Wednesday,  Sept.  17th. 

j\Ir.  Astor  accepts  with  much  pleasure  Mr.  Jones's  in' 
vitation  to  dine  with  him  on  Friday. 

Or,  in  case  you  decline — 

Mr.  Astor  returns  thanks  for  your  kind  invitation  for 
Friday,  but  regrets  that  circumstances  will  prevent  his  join- 
ing you  on  that  occasion. 

George  Jones,  Esq. 

Invitations  to  a  family  dinner  should  always  be  answer- 
ed to  the  lady  instead  of  her  husband. 

Persons  who  so  choose,  may  at  all  times  decline  invita- 
tions to  dinner  without  any  breach  of  etiquette.  But  if 
they  accept,  they  should  be  punctual  at  the  hour  appoint- 
ed. The  gentleman  should  be  neatly  dressed,  and  wear 
either  a  frock  or  dress  coat.  The  lady  should  always  ap- 
pear in  full  dress. 

When  dinner  is  announced,,  the  host  rises  and  requests 
all  to  walk  into  the  dining  room.  He  offers  his  left  arm 
to  the  lady  present  who  from  age  or  any  consideration  is 
entitled  to  precedence.  The  hostess  will  then  see  that  each 
lady  is  conducted  by  a  gentleman,  and  they  should  enter 
the  dining  room  under  her  direction,  the  married  people 
preceding  the  single  ones.  Should  you  have  to  go  down 
stairs  to  the  dining-room,  always  give  the  lady  the  wall, 
and  when  you  arrive  at  the  table  seat  yourself  on  her  right 
side. 

The  lady  hostess  seats  herself  at  the  head  of  the  table, 
and  the  host  himself  at  the  foot.  The  two  most  distin- 
guished gentlemen  of  the  party  are  seated  next  to  the  host- 
ess, and  the  two  ladies  of  greatest  consideration  sit  next 
the  host.  If  the  dinner  is  given  in  honor  of  any  gentle- 
man, he  sits  at  the  right  of  the  hostess.  In  placing  the 
party  at  table,  always  separate  husband  and  wife,  and 


DINNEItS.  27 

members  of  the  same  family,  ns  they  arc  supposed  to  en- 
joy enough  of  eacli  other's  society  at  home.  Mix  up  tlie 
gentl'3men  and  ladies  as  much  as  possible. 

Hi^Ip  ladies  with  a  due  appreciation  of  their  delicacy, 
moderation,  and  fastidiousness  of  their  appetites ;  and  do 
not  overload  the  plate  of  any  person  you  serve.  Kcver 
pour  gravy  on  a  plate  without  permission.  ■  It  spoils  the 
meat  for  some  persons. 

Do  not  insist  upon  your  guests  partaking  of  particular 
dishes ;  never  ask  persons"  more  than  once,  and  never  put 
anything  by  force  upon  their  plates.  It  is  extremely  ill- 
bred,  though  extremely  common,  to  press  one  to  cat  of 
anything. 

Soup  is  always  served  first,  and  then  Ush ;  and  it  is  con- 
sidered vulgar  to  take  cither  of  them  twice.  The  reason 
for  not  being  helped  a  second  time  at  a  large  dinner  party 
is,  because  by  doing  so  you  keep  three  parts  of  the  com. 
pany  staring  at  you  while  waiting  for  the  second  course^ 
much  to  the  annoyance  of  the  mistress  of  the  house.  A\i 
a  family  dinner  it  is  of  less  importance,  and  may  be  done 
now-a-days  without  a  breach  of  good  manners.  Fish  h 
always  helped  with  a  silver  or  plated  fish-slice,  and  wheii 
you  have  it  on  your  plate  you  should  use  your  fork  only  in 
eating  it.  The  application  of  a  knife  to  fish  is  likely  to  de- 
stroy the  delicacy  of  its  flavor ;  besides  which,  fish  sauceg 
are  often  acidulated ;  acids  coiTodc  steel,  and  draw  from  it 
a  disagreeable  taste.  In  the  North,  where  lemon  or  vine- 
gar is  very  generally  used  for  salmon  and  many  other 
kinds  of  fish,  the  objection  becomes  more  apparent. 

Do  not  ask  any  lady  to  take  wine,  until  you  see  that 
Bhe  has  finished  her  fish  or  soup.  This  exceedingly  absurd 
and  troublesome  custom  is  very  properly  giving  way  at  the 
best  tables  to  the  more  reasonable  one  of  the  gentleman 
helping  the  lady  to  wine  next  to  whom  he  may  be  seated^ 
or  a  servant  will  hand  it  round.  But  if  either  a  lady  or  a 
gentleman  be  invited  to  take  wine  at  table,  they  should  not 


5S  ETIQUETTE. 

refuse ;  it  is  very  gauche  so  to  do.  They  need  not  drink 
lialf  a  glass  with  each  person,  but  merely  taste  it,  or  touch 
tlieir  liT")3  to  the  glass. 

The  ho3-t  or  liostess  should  never  eulogize  any  particu- 
lar disli,  but  should  leave  every  one  to  their  own  choice 
and  enjoyment,  the  main  object  being  to  have  your  guesta 
realize  an  ever-present  sense  of  being  entertained.  You 
may  casually  mention  that  a  certain  dish  is  considered  ex- 
cellent, but  never  press  it  upon  any  one,  nor  should  you 
ever  try  to  persuade  your  guest  to  cat  more  than  he  takes 
freely,  for  very  young  or  modest  people  may  be  thereby  in- 
duced to  accept  what  they  really  do  not  want,  which  would 
be  unpleasant  to  them. 

Silver  or  plated  forks  arc  now  universally  used  at  tal5le 
— 3tecl  forks  being  only  fit  for  carving.  Never  use  a  knife 
to  convey  food  to  your  mouth  under  an}^  circumstances.  It 
is  unnecessary,  and  glaringly  vulgar.  Feed  yourself  with 
a  fork  or  spoon.  A  knife  is  only  used  for  cutting.  Peas, 
tomatoes,  tarts,  puddings,  &c.  should  always  be  eaten  with 
a  spoon.  As  a  general  rule,  when  helping  any  one  at  table, 
never  use  a  knife  when  you  can  use  a  spoon. 

If  at  dinner  you  arc  requested  to  help  any  one  to  sauce 
or  gravy,  do  not  pour  it  over  the  meat  or  vegetables,  but 
on  one  side  of  them.  Never  load  down  a  person's  plate 
with  anything — it  is  vulgar. 

At  a  dinner  party  the  host  usually  serves  his  left  hand 
neighbor  first,  then  his  right  hand,  and  so  on.  One  ladle- 
ful  of  soup  to  a  plate  is  sufficient.  Take  whatever  is  given  to 
you,  and  do  not  offer  it  to  your  neighbor.  Begin  at  once  to 
eat,  and  do  not  suck  the  soup  into  your  mouth  or  blow 
it.  If  it  be  too  hot,  stir  it  until  it  is  cool  enough  to  eat. 
Many  people  make  an  unpleasant  noise  with  their  lips  by 
inhaling  their  breath  while  taking  soup.  This  habit  should 
be  carefully  avoided,  [Making  a  noise  in  chewing,  by  smack- 
ing the  lips,  or  breathing  hard,  are  both  unseemly  habits. 
Use  your  knife^  fork  and  teeth  as  quietly  as  possible. 


DINNERS.  29 

Do  not  pick  your  teeth  at  table,  except  in  an  emer- 
gency ;  as,  however  satisfactory  a  practice  it  may  be  to 
yourself,  to  witness  it  is  not  at  all  pleasant. 

Ladies  should  never  dine  with  their  gloves  on,  unless 
their  hands  are  not  fit  to  be  seen,  though  the  habit  is  not 
positively  ungenteel. 

Servants  occasionally  wait  at  table  in  clean  white  gloves, 
as  there  are  few  things  more  disagreeable  than  the  thumb 
of  a  clumsy  waiter  in  your  plate ;  but  the  custom  of  their 
waiting  in  gloves  has  never  been  adopted  in  the  mansions 
of  people  of  distinction.  A  white  damask  napkin,  in  which 
his  thumb  is  enveloped,  is  given  to  each  servant,  and  this 
effectually  precludes  its  contact  with  your  plate. 

Most  writers  on  Dinner  Table  Etiquette  prescribe  that 
in  sending  your  plate  for  anything  you  should  leave  your 
knife  and  fork  upon  it.  There  seems  also  to  be  a  reason 
for  the  custom  in  the  fact  that  to  hold  them  in  your  hand 
w^ould  be  awkward,  and  to  lay  them  on  the  table-cloth 
might  soil  it ;  but  the  author  of  the  "  American  Gentle- 
man's Guide,"  whose  acquaintance  with  the  best  usage  is 
not  to  be  questioned^  says  that  they  should  be  retained, 
and  either  kept  together  in  the  hand  or  rested  upon  your 
bread,  to  avoid  soiling  tlic  cloth. 

Finger  glasses,  when  used,  come  on  with  the  dessert, 
and  are  filled  with  warm  water.  Wet  a  corner  of  your 
napkin,  and  wipe  your  mouth,  then  rinse  your  fingers ;  but 
do  not  practice  the  filthy  custom  of  gargling  your  mouth 
at  table,  albeit  the  usage  prevails  among  a  few,  who  think 
that  because  it  is  a  foreign  habit  it  cannot  be  disgusting. 

The  French  fashion  of  having  the  principal  dishes 
carved  on  a  side-table,  and,  served  by  attendants,  is  now 
very  generally  adopted  at  ceremonious  dinners  in  this 
country;  nevertheless,  those  who  go  into  company  can- 
not safely  count  upon  never  being  called  upon  carve,  and 
the  art  is  well  worth  acquiring.  Ignorance  of  it  some- 
times places  one  in  an  awkward  position.    You  will  find 


30  ETIQUETTE. 

directions  on  this  subject  in  almost  any  cook-book ;  you 
will  learn  more,  however,  by  watching  an  accomplished 
carver  than  in  any  other  way. 

I^ever  i^are  an  apple  or  a  pear  for  a  lady,  unless  she  de- 
sires you  to  do  so,  and  then  be  careful  to  use  your  fork  to 
hold  it.  You  may  sometimes  offer  to  divide  a  very  large 
apple  or  pear  with  a  person. 

Coffee  is  sometimes  served  in  the  dining-room  and 
sometimes  in  the  drawing-room  after  dinner.  If  served  at 
table,  do  not  be  in  a  hurry  to  have  it  brought,  but  wait 
until  every  one  has  done  with  his  wine  for  fear  you  should 
seem  chary  of  the  wine. 

Should  your  servants  break  anything  while  you  are  at 
table,  never  turn  round,  or  inquire  into  the  particulars, 
however  annoyed  you  may  feel.  If  your  servants  betray 
stupidity  or  awkwardness  in  waiting  on  your  guests,  avoid 
reprimanding  them  publicly,  as  it  only  draws  attention  to 
their  eri'ors,  and  adds  to  their  embarrassment. 

It  is  customary,  wiien  you  have  been  out  dining,  to 
leave  a  card  upon  the  lady  the  next  day,  or  as  soon  after 
as  may  be  convenient ;  but  attentions  of  this  sort  are  not 
always  expected  from  professional  or  business  men,  their 
time  being  too  valuable  to  sacrifice  in  making  visits  of 
mere  ceremony ;  therefore,  do  not  attribute  such  omission 
to  any  want  of  respect,  but  to  its  proper  cause — time  more 
usefully  occupied. 

When  a  man  is  about  to  be  married,  he  usually  gives  a 
dinner  to  his  bachelor  friends;  which  is  understood  to  be 
their  conr/e^  unless  he  chooses  to  renew  their  acquaintance, 

THE  ball-room:. 

Ag  it  i3  necessary  for  every  young  person  who  goes  into 
society  to  learn  to  dance,  in  acquiring  that  art  they  will  of 
course  become  familiar  with  the  etiquette  of  the  ball-room. 
If  you  are  a  stranger  at  a  ball,  you  apply  to  the  managers 
for  a  partner  and  are  presented  to  a  lady,  Avith  w^hom  you 


THE  ball-room:.  31 

dance.  This  does  not  entitle  3-011  to  claim  her  acquaint- 
ance afterwards,  and  you  should  not  even  recognize  her 
again  unless  she  makes  the  first  advances  with  a  bow  or  a 
smile.  In  Europe  it  is  customary  lor  a  gentleman  to  take 
off  his  hat  to  any  lady  in  whose  society  he  had  ever  been. 
But  here  we  are  more  particular.  We  wait  for  the  lady  to 
first  recognize  us.  Few  ladies  who  go  to  public  balls  would 
object  to  being  noticed  by  their  ball-room  acquaintances, 
or  fail  to  bow  on  meeting,  when  you  can  respond  by  lifting 
your  hat.  I^ever  invite  a  strange  lady  to  dance  with  you 
unless  you  have  been  presented  to  her  for  that  i^urpose. 

White  or  j^ellow  tinted  gloves  are  indispensable  either 
at  a  ball  or  a  dancing  party.  Lead  the  lady  through  the 
quadrille ;  do  not  drag  her  nor  clasp  her  hand  too  tight. 
Kever- stand  up  to  dance  unless  you  arc  acquainted  with 
the  figures  and  know  some  of  the  steps.  Dance  quietly. 
Do  not  kick  and  caper  about  nor  sway  your  body,  but  let 
your  motion  be  from  the  hips  downward.  Do  not  pride 
.  yourself  too  much  on  the  neatness  of  your  steps,  lest  you 
be  taken  for  a  dancing  master.  When  you  are  waltzing 
with  a  lady,  do  not  press  her  w^aist,  but  touch  it  lightly 
with  the  open  palm  of  your  hand. 

If  a  lady  should  civilly  decline  to  dance  with  you, 
making  an  excuse,  and  you  chance  to  see  her  dancing  afler- 
*wards,  do  not  take  any  notice  of  it,  nor  be  offended  with 
her.  It  might  not  be  that  she  despised  you,  but  that  ehe 
preferred  another.  We  cannot  always  fathom  the  hidden 
springs  wdiich  influence  a  woman's  actions,  and  there  are 
many  bursting  hearts  within  white  satin  dresses;  therefore 
do  not  insist  upon  the  fulfdment  of  established  regulations 
"  de  rigueur."  Besides,  it  is  a  hard  case  that  women 
should  be  compelled  to  dance  with  everybody  offered  them, 
at  the  alternative  of  not  being  allowed  to  enjoy  themselvea 
at  all. 

If  a  lady  friend  be  engaged  when  you  request  her  to 
dance,  and  she  promises  to  be  your  partner  for  the  next  or 


32  ETIQUETTE. 

any  of  the  following  dances,  do  not  neglect  her  when  the 
time  comes,  but  be  in  readiness  to  fulfil  your  office  as  her 
cavalier,  or  she  may  think  that  you  have  studiously  slight- 
ed her,  besides  preventing  her  obliging  some  one  else. 
Evea  inattention  and  forgetfulness,  by  showing  how  little 
you  care  for  a  lady,  form  in  themselves  a  tacit  insult. 

Never  quarrel  in  a  ball-room,  or  show  the  least  resent- 
ment All  misunderstandings  must  be  settled  outside.  It 
is  in  bad  taste  to  be  over  officious  in  noticing  derelictions 
from  strict  propriety,  for  well-bred  women  will  not  thank 
you  for  defending  tliem  under  such  circumstances,  as  they 
do  not  like  to  become  conspicuous ;  and  in  small  matters 
they  are  generally  able  and  willing  to  take  care  of  them- 
selves, and  overwhelm  the  offender  in  some  quiet  way. 
It  is  only  serious  and  glaring  violations  of  decorum  that 
should  be  publicly  noticed. 

In  meeting  your  friends  at  a  ball  or  promenade,  it  is 
only  necessary  to  salute  them  once  for  the  whole  evening. 
Some  people  are  constantly  nodding  and  bowing,  which  is  • 
quite  disagreeable, 

THE    STREET. 

While  walking  the  street  no  one  should  be  so  absent- 
minded  as  to  neglect  to  recognize  his  friends.  If  you  do 
not  stop,  you  should  always  bow,  touch  your  hat,  or  bid 
your  friend  good  day.  If  you  stop,  you  can  offer  your 
hand  without  removing  your  glove.  If  you  stop  to  talk, 
retire  on  one  side  of  the  walk.  If  your  friend  has  a  stran- 
ger wirh  him  and  you  have  anything  to  say,  you  should 
apologize  to  the  stranger.  Never  leave  your  friend  ab- 
ruptly to  see  another  person  without  asking  him  to  excuse 
your  departure.  If  you  meet  a  gentleman  of  your  ac- 
quaintance walking  with  a  lady  whom  you  do  not  know, 
lift  your  hat  as  you  salnte  them.  If  you  know  the  lady, 
you  should  salute  her  first. 

If  you  meet  a  lady  of  y^iir  acquaintance  in  the  street, 


THE    STIIEET.  33,- 

if  she  is  an  intimate  friend  you  can  confidently  salute  her 
by  lifting  your  hat — if  only  a  casual  acquaintance,  wait  for 
her  to  recognize  you  first.  Never  ofier  to  shake  hands  with 
a  lady  in  the  street  if  you  have  on  dark  gloves,  as  you  may 
soil  her  white  ones.  If  you  meet  a  lady  friend  wath  whom 
you  wish  to  converse,  you  must  not  stop,  but  turn  and  walk 
along  with  her ;  and  should  she  be  w^alking  with  a  gentle- 
man, first  assure  yourself  that  you  are  not  intruding  before 
you  attempt  to  join  the  two  in  their  walk. 

In  w^alking  with  ladies  in  the  street,  gentlemen  should 
treat  them  with  the  most  scrupulous  politeness.  It  is  cus- 
tomary to  give  them  the  inside  of  the  w^alk,  but  there  may 
"be  places  where  the  outside  would  be  safer,  and  you  should 
then  change  sides. 

You  should  offer  your  arm  to  a  lady  with  whom  you 
are  w^alking  wiieneverher  safety,  comfort,  or  convenience 
may  seem  to  require  such  attention  on  your  part.  At  night 
your  arm  should  always  be  tendered,  and  also  when  as- 
cending the  steps  of  a  public  building.  In  w^alking  with 
any  person  you  should  keep  step  with  military  precision, 
and  with  ladies  and  elderly  people  you  should  always  ac- 
commodate your  speed  to  theirs. 

If  a  lady  with  whom  jo\i  are  walking  receives  the  sa- 
lute of  a  person  who  is  a  stranger  to  you,  you  should  return 
it,  not  for  yourself,  but  for  her. 

When  a  lady  whom  you  accompany  wishes  to  enter  a 
store,  you  should  hold  the  door  open  and  allow  her  to  enter 
first,  if  practicable ;  for  you  must  never  pass  before  a  lady 
anywhere,  if  you  can  avoid  it,  or  without  an  apology. 

If  a  lady  addresses  an  inquiry  to  a  gentleman  on  the 
street,  he  will  lift  his  hat,  or  at  least  touch  it  respectfully, 
as  he  replies.  If  he  cannot  give  the  information  required, 
ho  will  express  his  regrets. 

When  tripping  over  the  pavement,  a  lady  should  grace. 
fully  raise  her  dress  a  little  above  her  anklo  With  her 
3 


34  ETiqXJETTE. 

right  hand  she  should  hold  together  the  folds  of  her  gown 
and  draw  them  towards  the  right  side.  To  raise  the  dress 
on  both  sides,  and  with  both  hands,  is  vulgar.  This  un- 
graceful practice  can  be  tolerated  only  for  a  moment  when 
the  mud  is  very  deep. 

Most  American  ladies  in  our  cities  wear  too  rich  and 
expensive  dresses  in  the  street.  Some,  indeed,  will  sweep 
the  side- walks  with  costly  stuffs  only  fit  for  a  drawing- 
room  or  a  carriage.  This  is  in  bad  taste,  and  is  what  ill- 
natured  i^eople  would  term  snobbish. 

The  out-door  costume  of  ladies  is  not  complete  without 
a  shawl  or  a  mantle.  Shawls  are  difficult  to  wear  grace- , 
fully,  and  few  ladies  wear  them  well.  You  should  not 
drag  a  shawl  tight  to  your  shoulders  and  stick  out  your 
clbow^s,  but  fold  it  loosely  and  gracefully,  so  that  it  may 
fully  envelop  the  figure. 

snoppiKG. 

In  inquiring  for  goods  at  a  shop  or  store,  do  not  say,  I 
want  so  and  so,  but  say  to  the  shopman — Show  me  such  or 
such  an  article,  if  you  please — or  use  some  other  polite 
form  cf  address.  If  you  are  obliged  to  examine  a  number 
of  articles  before  you  are  suited,  apologize  to  the  shop- 
keeper for  the  trouble  you  give  him.  If,  aficr  all,  you 
cannot  suit  yourself,  renew  your  apologies  when  you  go 
away.  If  you  make  only  small  j^urchases,  say  to  him — I 
am  sorry  for  having  troubled  j^ou  for  so  trifling  a  thing. 

PLACES   OF   AMUSEMENT. 

Gentlemen  wdio  attend  ladies  to  the  opera,  to  concerts, 
to  lectures,  &c.,  should  take  off  their  hats  on  entering  the 
room,  and  while  showing  them  their  seats.  Having  taken 
your  seats  remain  quietly  in  them,  and  avoid,  unless  abso- 
lute necessity  requires  it,  incommoding  others  by  crowding 
out  and, in  before  them.    If  obliged  to  do  this,  politely 


PLACES  OP  AMUSEMENT  35 

apologize  for  the  trouble  you  cause  them.  To  talk  during 
the  perfo nuance  is  an  act  of  rudeness  and  injustice.  You 
thus  proclaim  your  own  ill-breeding  and  invade  the  rights 
of  others,  who  have  paid  for  the  privilege  of  hearing  the 
performers,  and  not  for  listening  to  you. 

If  you  are  in  attendance  upon  a  lady  at  any  opera,  con- 
cert, or  lecture,  you  should  retain  your  seat  at  her  side ; 
but  if  you  have  no  lady  with  you,  and  have  taken  a  desir- 
able seat,  you  should,  if  need  be,  cheerfully  relinquish  it 
in  favor  of  a  lady,  for  one  less  eligible. 

To  the  opera,  or  theatre,  ladies  should  wear  opera  hoods, 
which  are  to  be  taken  off  on  entering.  In  this  country, 
custom  permits  the  wearing  of  bonnets ;  but  as  they  are 
neither  convenient  nor  comfortable,  ladies  should  dispense 
with  their  use  whenever  they  can. 

Gloves  should  be  worn  by  ladies  in  church,  and  in  places 
of  public  amusement.  Do  not  take  them  off  to  shake 
hands.  Great  care  should  be  taken  that  they  are  well 
made  and  fit  neatly. 

TRAYELING. 

As  a  general  rule,  travelers  arc  selfish.  They  pay  little 
attention  either  to  the  comforts  or  distresses  of  their  fellow- 
travelers  ;  and  the  commonest  observances  of  politeness 
are  often  sadly  neglected  by  them.  In  the  scramble  for 
tickets,  for  seats,  for  state-rooms,  or  for  places  at  a  public 
table,  the  courtesies  of  life  seem  to  be  trampled  under  foot. 
Even  the  ladies  are  sometimes  rudely  treated  and  shame, 
fully  neglected  in  the  headlong  rush  for  desirable  seats  in 
the  railway  cars.  To  see  the  behaviour  of  American  peo- 
ple on  their  travels,  one  would  suppose  that  we  were  any- 
thing but  a  refined  nation;  and  I  have  often  wondered 
whether  a  majority  of  our  travelers  could  really  make  a 
decent  appearance  in  social  society. 

When  you  are  traveling,  it  is  no  excuse  that  because 
others  outrage  decency  and  propriety  you  should  follow 


36  ETIQUETTE. 

their  example,  and  figlit  them  with  their  own  weapons.  A 
rush  and  scramble  at  the  railway  ticket  office  is  always  un- 
necessary. The  cars  will  not  leave  nntil  every  passenger 
is  aboard,  and  if  you  have  ladies  with  you,  you  can  easily 
'secure  your  seats  and  afterwards  procure  the  tickets  at 
Jeisurn.  But  suppose  you  do  lose  a  favorite  seat  by  your 
moderation !  Is  it  not  better  to  suffer  a  little  inconveni- 
ence than  to  show  yourself  decidedly  vulgar  ?  Go  to  the 
cars  half  an  hour  before  they  start,  and  you  will  avoid  all 
trouble  of  this  kind. 

When  seated,  or  about  to  seat  yourself  in  the  cars,  never 
allow  considerations  of  personal  comfort  or  convenience 
to  cause  you  to  disregard  the  rights  of  fellow-travelers,  or 
forget  the  respectful  courtesy  due  to  woman.  The  pleasant- 
est  or  most  comfortable  seats  belong  to  the  ladies,  and  you 
should  never  refuse  to  resign  such  seats  to  them  with  a 
cheerful  politeness.  Sometimes  a  gentleman  will  go  through 
a  car  and  choose  his  seat,  and  afterwards  vacate  it  to  pro- 
cure his  ticket,  leaving  his  overcoat  or  carpet  bag  to  show 
that  the  seat  is  taken.  Always  respect  this  token,  and 
never  seize  upon  a  seat  thus  secured,  without  leave,  even 
though  you  may  want  it  for  a  lady.  It  is  not  always  neces- 
sary for  a  gentleman  to  rise  after  he  has  seated  himself  and 
offer  his  seat  to  a  lady,  particularly  if  the  lady  is  accompa- 
nied by  another  gentleman ;  for  there  may  still  be  eligible 
vacant  seats  in  the  cars.  But  should  you  see  a  lady  come 
alone,  and  if  the  seats  in  the  car  all  appear  to  be  filled,  do 
not  hesitate  to  offer  her  yours,  if  you  have  no  ladies  in 
your  company.  And  should  a  lady  motion  to  seat  herself 
beside  you,  rise  at  once  and  offer  her  the  choice  of  the  two 
seats.  These  are  but  common  courtesies  that  every  well- 
bred  man  will  at  ail  times  cheerfully  offer  to  the  other  sex. 

Makmg  acquaintances  in  the  cars,  although  correct 
enough,  is  a  measure  of  which  travelers  generally  appear 
to  be  very  shy.  There  is  no  reason  for  this,  as  acquaint- 
ances thus  picked  up  i^oed  neyer  bo  recognized  again 


TIIAA"EL.ING.  '  37 

unless  jou  please.  If  n  stranger  speaks  to  j'-on,  always 
answer  him  politely,  and  if  his  conversation  proves  disa- 
greeable, you  have  no  alternative  but  to  change  your  seat. 

In  steamers  do  not  make  a  rush  for  the  supper  table,  or 
make  a  glutton  of  yourself  when  you  get  there.  Never  fail 
to  oiTer  your  seat  on  deck  to  a  lady,  if  the  seats  all  appear 
to  be  occupied,  and  always  meet  half  way  any  fellow-pas- 
senger who  wishes  to  enter  into  conversation  with  you. 
Some  travelers  are  so  exclusive  that  they  consider  it  a  pre- 
sumption on  the  part  of  a  stranger  to  address  them  ;  but. 
such  people  are  generally  foolish,  and  of  no  account.  So- 
ciable intercourse  while  traveling  is  one  of  its  main  attrac- 
yions.  Who  would  care  about  sitting  and  moping  for  a 
otzen  hours  on  board  a  steamer  without  exchanging  a  word 
wuth  anybody  ?  and  this  must  be  the  fate  of  the  exclusivea 
when  they  travel  alone.  Even  ladies,  who  run  greater  risks 
in  forming  steamboat  acquaintances  than  the  meu,  are 
allowed  the  greatest  privileges  in  that  respect.  It  might 
not  be  exactly  correct  for  a  lady  to  make  a  speaking  ac- 
quaintance of  a  gentleman ;  but  she  may  address  or  ques- 
tion him  for  the  time  being  without  impropriety. 

Fellow-passengers,  whether  on  a  steamboat  or  in  the 
cars,  should  at  all  times  be  sociable  and  obliging  to  one 
another.  Those  who  are  the  reverse  of  this  may  be  set 
down  cither  as  selfish,  foolish,  or  conceited. 

In  the  cars  you  have  no  riglit  to  keep  a  windovr  open 
for  your  accommodation,  if  the  current  of  air  thus  pro- 
duced annoys  or  endangers  the  health  of  another.  There 
are  a  sufficient  number  of  discomforts  in  traveling,  at  best, 
and  it  should  be  the  aim  of  each  passenger  to  lessen  them 
;i3  much  as  possible,  and  to  cheerfidly  bear  his  own  part. 
Life  is  a  Journey,  and  we  "are  all  fellow-travelers. 

If  in  riding  in  an  omnibus,  or  crossing  a  ferry  with  a 
friend,  he  wishes  to  pay  for  you,  never  insist  upon  paying 
for  yourself  or  for  both.  If*he  is  before  you,  let  the  mat- 
ter pass  without  remark. 


38  ETIQUETTE. 

MISCELLANEOUS   HINTS. 

If  you  -wish  to  pass  for  a  well-bred  person,  keep  clean. 
It  is  far  better  to  dress  coarsely  and  out  of  fashion  and  be 
strictly  clean,  than  to  cover  a  dirty  skin  with  the  finest  and 
richest  clothing.  A  coarse  shirt  or  a  calico  dress  is  not 
necessarily  vulgar,  but  dirt  is  essentially  so.  A  clean  skin 
5s  as  essential  to  health,  beauty  and  personal  comfort,  as  it 
is  to  decency ;  and  without  health  and  that  perfect  free- 
dom from  physical  disquiet  which  come  only  from  the  nor- 
mal action  of  all  the  functions  of  the  bodily  organs,  your 
behaviour  can  never  be  satisfactory  to  yourself  or  agree- 
able to  others. 

When  you  go  into  a  house  anywhere,  never  fail  to 
scrape  your  shoes,  and  wipe  them  on  the  mat,  if  the  weather 
be  muddy.  Neglect  of  this  duty  is  a  pretty  strong  proof 
of  slovenliness  and  vulgarity  at  home. 

Clean  and  white  teeth  are  an  absolute  necessity  to  any 
one  who  expects  to  pass  muster  in  good  society.  Some 
people  can  keep  their  teeth  white  without  the  aid  of  washes 
or  powder,  while  for  others  it  is  necessary  to  use  some 
cleansing  substance  daily.  To  keep  the  mouth  sweet  and 
the  teeth  clean,  it  is  generally  necessary  to  brush  them 
always  after  eating,  and  to  scour  them  once  a  day.  Pow- 
dered iryrrh  one  part,  to  two  or  three  parts  of  orris-root,  is 
all  that  is  necssary  for  a  tooth-powder.  Scent  it  with  any- 
thing you  may  fancy,  and  you  then  have  the  same  tooth- 
powder  that  is  sold  under  different  names  by  the  apothe- 
caries. 

A  bad  breath  is  frequently  caused  by  a  dirty  mouth  and 
decayed  teeth.  Where  it  proceeds  from  the  stomach,  it 
can  only  be  rectified  by  dieting  and  taking  seidlitz-powders 
or  some  other  gentle  cathartic. 

You  will  not,  of  course,  go  into  company,  or  sit  do  wis 
to  the 'table,  with  soiled  hands,  but  unless  you  habituate 
yourself  to  a  special  care  of  them,  more  or  less  dirt  wHl 


MISCELLANEOUS  HINTSi  39 

be  found  lodged  under  the  nails.  Clean  them  carefully 
every  time  you  wash  your  hands,  and  keep  them  smoothly 
and  evenly  cut.  Never  pare  or  scrape  your  nails,  pick  your 
teeth,  comb  your  hair,  or  perform  any  of  the  necessary 
operations  of  the  toilet  in  company.  All  these  thing? 
should  be  carefully  attended  to  in  the  privacy  of  your  _ 
own  room.  To  pick  the  nose,  dig  the  ears,  or  scratch  the 
^ead  or  any  part  of  the  person  in  company,  is  frightfully 
vulgar. 

A  gentleman  should  always  wear  a  clean  shirt.  It  is 
better  to  wear  a  threadbare  coat  than  to  have  your  shirt 
lisreputablc.  Your  hat  and  boots  must  also  be  well  brush- 
id  if  you  expect  to  pass  for  a  person  of  good  breeding. 

Bashfulness  or  diffidence  is  one  of  the  greatest  obsta- 
cles with  which  young  people  have  to  contend,  and  it  can 
Only  be  overcome  by  resolute  effort  and  practice.  Never 
give  way  to  it.  Oo  where  you  desire  to  go  and  overcome 
your  diffidence  by  selr-respect,  self-reliance  and  self-con- 
trol.    Persevere  in  this  and  you  will  conquer  it  in  due  time. 

Pulling  out  your  watch  in  company  unasked  is  a  mark 
of  ill-breeding.  It  looks  as  though  you  were  tired  of  the 
company,  and  that  time  dragged  heavily.  If  you  desire  to 
know  the  time,  retire  to  some  corner,  or  into  another  room, 
and  look  at  your  watch  unnoticed. 

Never  offer  a  lady  a  costly  gift  unless  you  arc  engaged 
to  marry  her.  It  is  in  the  highest  degree  indelicate,  and  , 
looks  as  tliougli  you  were  desirous  of  purchasing  her  good 
\vill.  When  you  make  a  present  to  a  lady,  use  no  cere- 
mony, but  give  it  in  an  indirect  and  indifferent  way,  as 
though  it  was  of  very  little  consequence.  Gifts  given  by" 
ladies  to  gentlemen  should  not  be  purchased,  but  should 
be  the  offspring  of  their  gentle  skill,  such  as  needlework,/ 
drawings  or  paintings. 

Keep  yourself  free  from  strange  tricks  or  habits,  such 
as  thrusting  out  your  tongue,  continually  snapping  jour 
lingers,  rubbing  your  hands,  sighing  aloud,  gaping  with  a 


40  ETiqUETTE. 

noifee  like  a  country  fellow  that  has  been  sleepmg  in  a  hay- 
loft, or  indeed  with  any  noise.  These  are  imitations  of 
the  manners  of  the  mob,  and  arc  degrading  to  a  gentle- 
man. It  is  rude  and  vulgar  to  lean  your  head  back  against 
fine  papered  walls,  and  thus  soil  them. 

Never  censure  any  one  in  conversation  whose  religious 
belief,  or  politics,  or  opinions  of  any  kind,  are  different 
from  your  own.  If  he  intrudes  his  ideas  upon  you  offen- 
sively, be  silent.  Because  he  shows  his  own  ill-breeding, 
is  no  reason  why  you  should  commit  an  impropriety. 

The  right  of  privacy  is  sacred,  and  should  ahvays  be 
respected.  It  is  exceedingly  improper  to  enter  a  private 
room  anywhere  without  knocking.  No  relation,  however 
intimate,  will  justify  an  abrupt  intrusion  upon  a  private 
apartment.  So  the  trunks,  boxes,  packets,  papers,  and  let- 
ters of  every  individual,  locked  or  unlocked,  sealed  or  im- 
sealed,  are  sacred.  It  is  ill  manners  even  to  open  a  book- 
case, or  to  read  a  written  paper  lying  open,  without  per- 
mission expressed  or  implied.  Books  in  an  open  case  or 
on  a  center-table,  cards  in  a  card-case,  and  newspapers, 
are  presumed  to  be  open  for  examination.  Be  careful 
where  you  go,  what  you  read,  and  what  you  handle,  par- 
ticularly in  private  apartments. 

Always  conform  your  conduct,  as  near  as  possible,  to 
the  company  with  whom  you  are  associated.  If  you  should 
be  thrown  among  people  who  are  vulgar,  it  is  better  to 
humor  them  than  to  set  yourself  up,  then  and  there,  for  a 
nodel  of  politeness.  It  is  related  of  a  certain  king  that 
on  a  particular  occasion  he  turned  his  tea  into  his  saucer, 
contrary  to  the  etiquette  of  society,  because  two  country 
ladies,  whose  hospitalities  he  was  enjoying,  did  so.  That 
king  was  a  gentleman ;  and  tliis  anecdote  serves  to  illus- 
trate an  important  principle ;  namely,  that  true  politeness 
and  genuine  good  manners  often  not  only  permit,  but  ab- 
solutely demand,  a  violation  of  some  of  the  arbitrary  rules 
^f  etiquette.     Bear  this  fact  in  mind. 


MISCBLLANEOTJS  HINTS,  41 

Gome  people  of  both  sexes  affect  odd,  out-of-tlie-way 
dresses,  or  wear  their  hair  in  a  queer  manner,  and  defend 
themselves  bj  saying  that  their  mode  of  dress  is  more  con- 
venient or  becoming,  or  less  expensive.  I  have  no  doubt 
that  a  few  of  them  do  this  in  good  faith;  but  with  a  ma-, 
jority  it  is  simply  a  case  of  vanity  and  self-conceit,  craving 
notoriety.  Such  pranks,  either  in  men  or  women,  should 
discard  tliem  from  all  ^ood  society.  If  they  choose  to  affect 
eccentricity,  let  them  enjoy  it  alone  by  themselves.  Qua- 
kers may  be  an  exception  to  this  rule ;  though  even  that 
strictly  moral  people  have  recently  introduced  a  little  com-, 
mon  sense  into  tl . ...  creed  as  far  as  it  relates  to  dress.  The 
young  Quakers  and  Quakeresses  of  the  present  day  con- 
form to  the  usages  of  society  in  this  respect  except  in  the 
matter  of  "finery."  Their  dresses,  and  even  their  hats 
find  bonnets,  approach  very  near  to.  the  fashionable  styles. 

A  well-bred  gentleman  or  lady  will  sustain  their  charac- 
ters as  such  at  all  times,  and  in  all  places — at  home  as  well 
ns  abroad.  If  you  see  a  man  behave  in  a  rude  and  uncivil 
manner  to  his  father  or  mother,  his  brothers  cr  sisters,  his 
wife  or  children ;  or  fail  to  exercise  the  common  courtesies 
of  life  at  his  own  table  and  around  his  own  fireside,  you  • 
may  at  once  set  him  down  as  a  boor,  whatever  pretensions 
he  may  make  to  gentility.  Good  manners  should  always 
begin  at  home. 

If  you  would  have  your  children  grow  up  beloved  and 
respected  by  their  elders  as  well  as  their  cotemporaries, 
teach  them  good  manners  in  their  childhood.  The  young 
sovereign  should  first  learn  to  obey,  that  he  may  be  the 
better  fitted  to  command  in  his  turn. 

Show,  but  do  not  show  off,  your  children  to  strangers. 
Becollect,  in  the  matter  of  children,  how  many  are  boru 
every  hour,  each  one  almost  as  remarkable  as  yours  in  the 
eyes  of  its  j^apa  and  mamma. 

]S"ever  recline  backwards,  while  seated,  so  as  to  push 
your  chair  upon  two  legs.     This  appears  to  be  almost  ex- 


42  ETIQUETTE. 

clusively  an  American  habit,  and  is  decidedly  a  breach  of 
good-breeding.  Parlor  chairs  are  usually  made  without 
braces  across  the  legs,  and  should  you  enter  a  gentleman's 
parlor  and  tip  back  in  a  chair  like  this,  you  would  run  the 
risk  of  breaking  it  down. 

In  shaking  hands  it  is  more  respectful  to  offer  an  un- 
gloved hand ;  but  if  two  gentlemen  are  both  gloved,  it  is 
very  foolish  to  keep  each  other  waiting  to  take  them  off. 
You  should  not,  however,  offer  a  gloved  hand  to  a  lady  or 
a  superior  who  i3  ungloved.  Foreigners  are  sometimes 
very  sensitive  in  this  matter,  and  miffht  deem  the  glove  an 
insult.  It  is  well  for  a  gentleman  lo  ^^,  y  his  right-hand 
glove  in  his  hand  if  he  is  likely  to  have  occasion  to  shake 
hands    At  a  ball  or  party  the  gloves  need  not  b6  taken  off. 

Be  exact  and  prompt  in  all  your  money  transactions, 
^o  man  who  has  the  least  pretensions  to  good.-breeding 
wiU  take  advantage  of  the  liberality  of  his  friend  under 
any  circumstances.  It  is  no  breach  of  politeness  to  refuse 
a  loan,  to  even  your  best  friend,  because  no  one  Is  supposed 
to  know  of  your  ability  to  make  the  loan  at  that  particular 
time. 

The  first  mark  of  a  gentleman  is  a  sensitive  regard  for 
the  feelings  of  others ;  therefore,  smoke  where  it  is  never 
likely  to  prove  offensive  by  making  your  clothes  smell. 
After  smoking,  always  WMsh  3^our  mouth  and  brush  your 
teeth.  What  man  of  delicacy  could  presume  to  address  a 
lady  with  his  breath  smelling  of  onions  ?  Yet  tobacco  m 
equally  odious  to  some  people. 

Be  cautious  how  you  indulge  in  hadinage  in  the  pres- 
ence of  dull  people ;  they  will  either  get  out  of  temper  in 
consequence  of  taking  what  }■  ou  say  literally,  or  else  will ' 
stare  and  wonder  at  you  for  being  such  a  "  strange  man." 
•'  Poor  Susan  !"  said  a  gentleman  to  a  pretty  girl.  "  Poor^ 
indeed !"  replied  the  lady,  with  an  indignant  toss  of  the 
head ;  "  not  so  poor  as  that  comes  to.  Papa  can  give  us 
something,  I  think  l" 


MISCELLANEOUS  HINTS.  43 

HINTS   TO   LADIES. 

Young  ladies  should  always  be  on  their  guard  against 
excessive  timidity,  for  it  not  only  paralyzes  their  powers, 
renders  them  awkward,  and  gives  them  an  almost  silly  air, 
but  it  may  even  cause  them  to  be  suspected  of  pride  among 
those  who  do  not  understand  the  real  cause  of  their  diffi- 
dence. There  are  many  intelligent  and  worthy  young  la- 
dies who  make  a  very  indifferent  appearance  in  society 
from  this  cause.  We  can  only  advise  them  that  a  firmness 
of  purpose  to  break  themselves  of  their  timid  feelings  wail 
accomplish  it  by  a  little  practice. 

Good  temper  and  good  nature  arc  tlic  real  essentials  to 
true  politeness,  and  the  most  artful  polish  can  never  impart 
the  "j?6  ne  sais  quoV^  of  elegance,  where  these  two  requi- 
sites are  wanting. 

Propriety  in  the  carriage  of  the  body  is  especially  indis- 
pensable to  ladies.  It  is  by  this  that,  in  a  w^alk,  or  any 
assembly,  people,  who  cannot  conyersc  with  them,  judge 
of  their  merit  and  their  good  education.  IIow  many 
dancers  move  off,  and  how  many  persons  sigh  with  pity, 
at  the  sight  of  a  beautiful  woman  who  has  a  mincing  w^ay, 
affects  grace,  inclines  her  head  affectedly,  and  wdio  seems 
to  admire  herself  incessantly,  and  to  invite  others  to  ad- 
mire her  also.  Very  few  people  like  to  enter  into  conver- 
sation with  an  immovable  lady,  and  one  who  is  formal  and 
precise,  stretching  out  the  body,  pressing  the  lips,  and  car- 
rying back  the  clbov/s,  as  if  they  were  fastened  to  her  side. 

Some  ladies  walk  so  as  to  turn  up  their  dresses  behind, 
and  I  have  seen. a  well-dressed  w^oman  made  to  look  very 
awkward  by  elevating  her  shoulders  slightly  and  pushing 
her  elbows  too  far  behind  her.  Some  hold  their  hands  up 
to  the  waist,  and  press  their  arms  against  themselves  as 
tightly  as  if  they  were  glued  there;  others  swing  them 
backward  and  forward,  as  a  business  man  walks  along  the 
street.     Too  sfwrt  steps  detract  from  dignity  very  much. 


44  ETIQUETTE. 

forming  a  mincing  pace;  too  long  steps  are  masculine. 
All  these  manoeuvres  are  in  bad  taste.  The  easiest  or 
most  natural  gait  and  disposition  of  the  limbs  is  the  most 
graceful. 

The  gait  of  a  lady  ougiit  neither  to  be  too  quick  nor  too 
slow;  the  most  easy  and  convenient  step  is  that  which 
fatigues  the  least,  and  pleases  most.  The  body  and  the 
head  should  be  erect,  without  aflectation,  and  without 
haughtiness ;  the  movements,  especially  those  of  the  arms, 
easy  and  natural.  The  countenance  should  be  pleasing 
and  modest. 

It  is  not  polite  for  a  lady  to  speak  too  quick  or  too 
loud.  When  seated,  she  ought  neither  to  cross  her  legs, 
nor  take  a  vulgar  attitude.  She  should  occupy  her  chair 
entirely,  and  appear  neither  too  restless,  nor  jet  too  im- 
movable. 

On  rising  from  bed  in  the  morning,  a  lady  should  put 
on  a  morning  gown  and  a  small  muslin  cap.  The  hair- 
papers,  if  they  cannot  be  removed  on  rising,  should  be  con- 
cealed under  a  bandeau  of  lace,  or  of  the  hair.  They 
should  be  removed  as  soon  as  may  be.  In  this  dress  she 
should  receive  only  intimate  friends,  or  persons  who  call 
upon  urgent  or  indispensable  business.  Dispense  with  this 
dress  as  soon  as  possible,  and  dress  for  the  forenoon.  Some 
will  go  about  in  their  morning  dress  half  the  da}^,  which  is 
a  decidedly  low  and  vulgar  habit. 

In  selecting  your  dresses,  have  a  correct  eye  to  suitable 
colors  for  your  complexion.  If  you  do  not  possess  a  good 
eye  for  color,  you  ought  never  to  rely  upon  your  own  judg- 
ment in  the  selection  of  your  patterns,  or  in  their  arrange- 
ment upon  your  person.  If  you  do,  you  may  be  nothing 
more  than  a  walking  violation  of  all  the  harmony  of  light 
and  shade ;  and  however  expensively  dressed,  you  will  never 
appear  either  genteel  or  fisliionable. 

It  is  altogether  out  of  place  for  a  lady  to  spread  out  her 
dress  for  display,  or  to  throw  her  drapery  around  her  in 


nrN^TS  TO  LADIES.  "    45 

sitting  down,  and  wliat  is  especially  to  be  ayoided  is,  an 
unquiet,  bold,  and  imperious  air,  for  it  is  unnatural,  and 
not  allowable  in  any  case. 

In  receiving  guests,  jonr  first  object  should  be  to  make 
tliem  feel  at  home.  Begging  them  to  make  themselves  at 
home  is  not  sufficient.  You  should  display  a  genuine,  un- 
affected friendliness.  Allow  their  presence  to  interfere  as 
little  as  possible  with  your  domestic  arrangements ;  thus 
letting  them  see  that  their  visit  does  not  disturb  you,  but 
they  fall,  as  it  were,  naturally  into  a  vacant  place  in  your 
household.  Observe  your  own  feelings  when  you  happen 
to  be  the  guest  of  a  person  who,  though  he  may  be  very 
much  your  friend,  and  really  glad  to  see  you,  seems  not  to 
know  what  to  do  either  with  you  or  himself;  and  again, 
when  in  the  house  of  another,  you  feel  as  much  at  ease  as 
in  your  own.  Mark  the  difference,  more  easily  felt  than, 
described,  between  the  manners  of  the  two,  and  deduce 
therefrom  a  lesson  for  your  own  improvement. 

Always  avoid  the  foolish  practice  of  deprecating  your 
own  rooms,  furniture,  or  viands,  and  expressing  regrets  that 
you  have  nothing  better  to  offer.  I\either  should  you  go 
to  the  other  extreme  of  extolling  any  particular  thing  or 
article  of  food.  The  best  way  is  to  say  nothing  about 
these  matters.  Neither  is  it  proper  to  urge  guests  to  eat^ 
or  to  load  their  plates  against  their  inclinations. 

When  visitors  propose  to  leave  you,  do  not  be  over  ur- 
gent to  have  them  remain,  even  if  you  feel  that  their  visit 
has  been  too  short.  You  can  express  your  regrets,  of 
course ;  but  good  manners  do  not  require  you  to  endeavor 
to  retain  them  against  their  wishes  or  sense  of  duty. 

Don^t  make  your  rooms  or  stair-case  gloomy.  Furnish 
them  for  light,  and  let  them  have  it.  Daylight  is  cheap. 
,-.  If  your  rooms  are  dark,  all  the  effects  of  furniture,  pictures, 
walls,  and  carpets  is  lost.  If  you  have  beautiful  things, 
make  them  useful.  The  fashion  of  having  a  nice  parlor, 
and  then  shutting  it  up  all  but  three  or  four  days  in  the 


46  ETIQUETTE. 

year,  when  you  have  company ;  spending  yonr  own  life  In 
a  small  room,  shabbily  furnislied,  or  an  unhealthy  base- 
ment, to  save  your  things,  is  the  meanest  possible  economy. 

Don't  put  your  cards  around  the  looking-glass,  unless 
in  your  private  boudoir.  If  you  wish  to  display  them, 
keep  them  in  a  suitable  basket  or  vase  on  the  mantle  or 
center-table. 

If  you  are  a  guest  in  any  family,  you  should  accommo- 
date yourself  to  their  customs  and  habits.  Ascertain  their 
hours  for  meals,  for  retiring,  &c.  and  regulate  your  own 
movements  accordingly.  Your  own  gOod  sense  and  deli- 
cacy will  teach  you  the  desirability  of  keeping  your  room 
tidy,  and  your  articles  of  dress  and  toilet  as  much  in  or- 
der as  possible.  If  there  is  a  deficiency  of  servants,  a  lady 
will  certainly  not  hesitate  to  make  her  own  bed,  and  to  do 
for  herself  as  much  as  possible,  and  for  the  family  all  that 
is  in  her  power. 

Treat  your  servants  always  with  kindness,  but  at  the 
same  time  with  firm  respect  for  yourself;  on  no  account  be 
familiar  with  them,  neither  hear  their  tattle,  nor  tattle  with 
them.  Do  not  scold  them,  or  they  will  lose  their  respect 
for  you.  When  they  need  reproof,  give  it  them  in  a  calm, 
dignified,  and  firm  manner ;  but  on  no  account,  if  you  can 
possibly  avoid  it,  find  fault  with  them  in  the  presence  of 
strangers,  even  though  they  should  let  fall  the  tray  with 
your  best  set  of  china  upon  it. 

The  reputation  for  good-breeding  of  the  mistress  of  the 
nouse  is  often  measured  by  the  conduct  of  her  servants. 
You  should  take  care,  therefore,  to  make  them  civil  and 
polite,  teach  them  to  assist  your  visitors  in  putting  ofi*  and 
on  their  overcoats,  cloaks,  &c.,  And  let  them  always  be 
ready  to  open  the  door  when  your  guests  arrive  or  depart. 

Accustom  your  servants  never  to  appear  before  you  too 
•slatternly  or  too  richly  dressed ;  never  allow  them  to  enter 
into  conversation  with  each  other  in  your  presence,  nor  to 
answer  you  by  signs  or  coarse  terms.    If  you  have  'only 


HINTS  TO   LADIES.  47 

one  servant,  talk  of  licr  "by  licr  Christian  name ;  if  you 
iiave  more,  talk  of  tliem  by  tlic  names  of  their  offices,  suet 
as  nurse,  cook,  housemaid,  butler,  footman,  &c.,  but  always^ 
address  them  by  their  Christian  names. 
.  Never  entertain  your  visitors  with  any  narrative  of  yoiu' 
servants'  improprieties. 

A  lady  in  company  should  never  exhibit  any  anxiety  to 
sing  or  play ;  but  if  she  intends  to  do  so,  she  should  not 
affect  to  refuse  when  asked,  but  obligingly  accedf  at  once. 
If  you  cannot  sing,  or  do  not  choose  to,  say  s^  with  seri- 
ousness and  gravity,  and  put  an  encl  to  the  expectation 
promptly.  After  singing  once  or  twice,  case  and  give 
place  to  others.  There  is  an  old  saying,  that  a  singer  can 
with  the  greatest  difficulty  bo  set  agoing,  r^nd  when  agoing, 
cannot  be  stopped. 

A  lady  will  not  say,  "  Jly  husband,"  except  among  in- 
timates ;  in  every  other  case  she  shoi?  1  address  or  speak 
of  him  by  his  name,  as  Mr. . 

If  a  lady  who  receives  a  half-cere  ^.^onious  visit,  is  sew- 
ing, she  ought  to  leave  it  olf  immedif  ^cly,  and  not  resume 
it,  except  at  the  request  of  the  visitor.  If  they  are  on  quite 
intimate  terms,  she  may  request  peimission  to  continue. 
If  a  person  visits  in  an  entirely  ceremonious  way,  it  would 
be  very  impolite  to  work  even  an  instant.  Moreover,  with 
friends  a  lady  should  hardly  be  occupied  with  her  work, 
but  seem  to  forget  it  on  their  account. 

To  carry  children  or  dogs  with  you  on  a  visit  of  cere- 
mony, is  altogether  vulgar,  ^ven  in  half-ceremonious 
visits,  it  is  necessary  to  leave  oae's  dog  in  the  ante-room; 
the  nurse  who  holds  the  infam  must  also  be  left  Avithout 
the  drawing-room. 

When  ladies  arc  introduced  to  one  another,  or  to  gen- 
tlemen, it  is  not  customary  for  them  to  shake  hands,  but 
merely  to  bow  slowly  and  gracefully.  Courtesy ing  is  now 
obsolete.  AVhen  old  friends  meet  they  shake  hands  or  sa- 
lute each  other  with  a  kiss  on  the  cheek. 


is  ETIQUETTE. 

Ladies  of  literary  tastes  should  never  attempt  to  show 
off  much,  for  fear  some- jealous  rival  of  the  other  sex  should 
sneer  and  call  them  blues. 

A  lady  should  never  prolong  a  friendly  call  into  the 
evening,  or  make  one  at  the  close  of  the  day,  without 
having  first  arranged  for  an  escort  home.  She  should 
either  have  one  of  the  domestics  accompany  her,  or  else 
a  male  member  of  her  family,  or  have  an  understanding 
that  they  come  for  her.  Should  she  have  loitered  until 
evening  without  bein^  thus  provided,  she  must  accept  an. 
escort  from  the  family  visited,  at  the  same  time  expressing 
her  regrets. 

If,  in  traveling,  any  one  introduces  himself  to  you,  and 
does  it  in  a  proper  and  respectful  manner,  conduct  your- 
self towards  him  with  politeness,  case,  and  dignity :  if  he 
is  a  gentleman,  he  will  appreciate  your  behaviour — and  if 
not  a  gentleman,  will  be  deterred  from  annoying  you ;  but 
acquaintanceships  thus  formed  must  cease  where  they  be- 
gan, and  your  entering  into  conversation  with  a  lady  or 
gentleman  in  a  boat  or  a  coach  does  not  give  any  of  you  a 
right  to  after-recognition. 

NEW   YEARS   CALLS. 

The  American  custom  of  gentlemen  making  calls  on 
all  their  friends  on  New  Tears  day  is  very  ancient,  having 
originated  among  the  Dutch  settlers  of  Kew  York.  In 
1840  it  was  at  its  height,  almost  every  family  with  any 
social  pretensions  setting  a  New  Years  table,  and  making 
a  display  according  to  their  means.  It  is  still  continued, 
though  with  much  less  parade  and  entertainment.  Under 
the  old  arrangement.  Young  America  was  apt  to  take  too 
much  wine  and  an  excess  of  hot  whisky  punches,  hence 
big  treats  on  New  Years  fell  into  disfavor.  At  the  present 
time  most  families  in  New  York  City,  and  to  some  extent 
in  large  towns,  receive  New  Years  calls.  The  ladies  are 
at  home  to  all  their  gentlemen  accjuaintances  from  cle^-en 


NEW    YEAKS   CALLS.  4^; 

or  twelve  o'clock  in  the  day  up  to  ten  at  night.  It  is  not 
customary,  however,  to  set  a  table  or  make  a  display  aa 
formerly,  but  to  receive  the  gentlemen,  who 'pass  the.  com- 
pliments of  the  season,  and  after  a  few  moments'  chat  re- 
tire. In  some  houses,  if  they  protract  their  visit  beyond  a 
few  moments,  they  are  asked  to  take  a  glass  of  wine  with 
the  ladies.     Tliat  is  all. 

In  making  Ncvf  Ypars  calls,  gentlemen  frequently  go  in 
couples,  and  by  threes  and  fours.  They  call  on  tlie  finiialG 
friends  of  the  whole  party,  and  if  one  or  more  of  them 
should  not  be  acquainted  with  the  ladies  where  the  call  is 
made,  they  are  introduced.  It  is  not  usual,  liowever,  to 
make  promiscuous  introductions  in  the  best  society.  ^lost 
people  are  not  very  particular,  because  these  casual  intro- 
ductions do  not  really  amount  to  anything. 

New  Years  day  is  the  gala  day  for  match-makers  among 
the  ladies.  All  the  country  cousins,  and  young  ladies  in 
*he  matrimonial  market,  are  marshalled  and  drilled  to 
make  the  best  possible  appearance — in  short,  to  put  on 
their  most  bewitching  and  fascmatmg  smiles — and  we  ara 
happy  to  add  that  casuaV  acquaintances  thus  made  often 
end  in  new  friendships,  and  not  unfrequently  in  closer  ties. 

If  a  gentleman  is  introduced  to  ladies  while  making  a 
New  Years  call,  it  does  not  warrant  him  to  claim  the  pri- 
vilege  of  a  friend  of  the  family.  He  should  never  call  a 
second  time  except  he  be  specially  invited,  or  unless  ho 
has  permission  to  do  so  through  an  acknowledged  friend 
of  the  family.  If  he  is  desirous  of  a  further  acquaintance 
with  the  young  ladies,  he  will  request  the  friend  who  in- 
troduced him  to  ask  such  permission. 

In  receiving  their  company  on  New  Years  day,  ladies 
have  the  largest  liberty  and  freedom.  They  can  chat  with 
any  one  who  comes  properly  introduced,  with  the  same 
frankness  and  lack  of  reserve  that  they  would  with  their 
mo6t  intimate  friends.  All  ceremony  is  dispensed  with 
for  the  moment ;  but  as  the  visits  are  necessarily  short,  if 
4 


50  ,  ETIQUETTE. 

there  should  happen  to  be  any  cases  of  "  lore  at  first  slglit,'^ 
the  smitten  youth  must  manage  to  get  an  invitation  for 
ruture  further  acquaintance. 

New  Years  is  a  jubilee  for  bashful  girls.  On  that  occa- 
sion they  show  themselv^j  in  a  frank,  hearty  and  free-and- 
easy  manner,  in  singular  contrast  to  the  stiff  etiquette  of' 
tlieir  common  every-day  life.  They  are  not  then  afraid  of 
making  a  mistake,  and  they  act  natural.  I  have  always 
admired  the  characters  of  bashful  girls,  and  whenever  op- 
portunity offers  I  make  their  acquaintance.  Their  reserve 
seldom  or  ever  comes  from  stupidity.  They  are  usually 
amiable,  intelligent  and  clever,  if  not  so  quick-witted  as 
their  more  favored  sisters.  If  I  was  pressed  to  choose 
me  a  wife  at  random,  I  would  select  a  bashful  young  lady. 
The  two  or  three  days  succeeding  New  Years  are  the 
ladies'  days  for  calling,  to  pass  the  compliments  of  the 
season.  This  custom  has  now  become  quite  as  popular  as 
the  New  Years  calls  of  the  gentlemen.  The  ladies  dis- 
cuss with  each  other  the  number  of  their  gentlemen  vis- 
itors on  New  Years,  the  new  faces  they  have  seen,  and  the 
matrimonial  prospects  for  the  y6ar.  It  is  customary  on 
these  occasions  to  offer  wine  and  other  refreshments,  and 
to  drink  to  each  other's  health  and  prosperity. 

LOVE   AInD   COUIITSHIP. 

Youxa  PEOPLE  of  both  sexes  are  too  apt  to  wax  ro- 
mantic, and  think  of  love  and  courtship  before  they  are 
•  out  of  their  teens.  Some  girls  may  marry  thus  early  and 
do  well  enough,  but  we  earnestly  protest  against  boyish 
courtships.  They  should  be  frowned  down  in  every  social 
circle.  Young  men  under  tw^enty  years  old  who  think  of 
marrying  are  generally  those  who  have  not  seen  much  of 
^ood  society.  A  boy  candidate  for  matrimony  is  usually 
a  bashful  felloAv,  who  yearns  for  a  social  companion  of 
some  kind,  and  picks  up  the  first  silly  girl  he  meets.  If 
circumstances  had  so  favored  him  that  he  could  have  gone 


LO\Ti:    AND   COURTSHIP.  51 

more  into  femnle  society,  the  probability  is  lie  would  never 
have  committed  a  folly  that  may  prove  the  bane  of  his 
future  social  existence.  It  is  almost  unnecessary  to  say 
that  boys  who  marry,  and  girls  who  marry  them,  are  by 
that  act  out  of  the  pale  of  good  society.  I^o  one  would 
recognize  a  pair  of  children  in  the  matrimonial  state.  They 
must  tarry  at  home,  and  live  upon  love,  until  the  husband's 
beard  is  grown.  There  are  a  few  silly  women,  of  not  much 
account  anywhere,  who  might  patronise  married  boys  for 
the  sake  of  being  praised  and  lionized  by  somebody.  That 
is  all. 

A  young  man  should  make  up  his  mind  not  to  marry 
until  he  is  twenty-five.  If  lie  e  iters  society  with  that  de- 
termination, and  possessing  any  degree  of  firmness  of  pur- 
pose, there  is  little  danger  to  him  of  the  shafts  of  Cupid. 
At  that  age  he  will  have  acquired  such  a  knowledge  of 
himself,  both  physically  and  mentally,  as  will  enable  him 
to  set  up  a  proper  standard  of  female  excellence,  and  to 
determine  what  qualities,  physical  and  mental,  should  cha- 
racterize the  woman  who  is  to  be  his  companion  for  life. 

Do  not  make  up  your  mind  to  wait  till  you  have  ac- 
quired a  fortune  before  you  marry.  You  should  not,  how- 
ever, assume  the  responsibilities  of  a  family  without  a  rea- 
sonable prospect  of  being  able  to  maintain  one.  If  you 
are  established  in  business,  or  have  an  adequate  income 
for  the  immediate  requirements  of  the  new  relation,  you 
may  safely  trust  to  your  own  energy  and  self-reliance  for 
the  rest. 

Girls  of  good  sense  will  not  be  ambitious  to  marry  un- 
til after  their  twentieth  year.  They  should  then  seek  part- 
ners among  gentlemen  who  arc  from  five  to  ten  years  older 
than  themselves.  If  a  girl  is  of  a  romantic  turn,  and  in 
danger  of  falling  in  love,  we  would  respectfully  suggest 
that  she  should  form  no  intimate  acquaintances  with  the 
other  sex  except  among  those  who  are  of  suitable  age  for 
her.     She  will  thus  avoid  the  Scylla  of  "a  green  husband, 


52  ETIQUETTE. 

even  if  slie  gets  wrecked  upon  the  Charybdis  of  a  shiftless 
or  unprincipled  one. 

I  have  generally  noticed  that  "where  a  marriageable 
young  man  looked  too  anxiously  round  among  his  female 
acquaintances  for  a  wife,  he  almost  invariably  got  cheated. 
There  is  a  certain  class  of  girls  who  are  brought  up  for  the 
matrimonial  market  in  the  same  way  that  an  organ  grinder 
trains  his  monkies.  A  girl  of  this  kind  is  directed  by  her 
mother,  who  keeps  hold  of  the  string  to  which  she  is  fast- 
ened, directs  all  her  movements,  and  shows  her  off  until 
her  market  is  made.  These  are  the  ones  usually  taken  by 
greenhorns,  and  over-anxiou3  Benedicks. 

It  is  seldom  that  a  3'oung  man  who  goes  much  into  fe- 
male society  arrives  at  the  age  of  twenty-five  without  hav- 
ing formed  agreeable  acquaintances  among  the  other  sex. 
He  will  therefore  have  little  difficulty  in  selecting  a  girl 
suitable  for  his  wife,  and  the  question  is,  how  shall  he  pro- 
ceed to  win  her  according  to  the  rules  or  etiquette  of  good 
society  ? 

Girls  have  keen  perceptions,  and  if  the  object  of  his 
choice  reciprocates  his  partiality  for  her  company,  he  will 
have  no  difficulty  whatever,  for  she  will  meet  him  half 
way  in  all  those  little  attentions  which  naturally  suggest 
themselves  to  a  lover.  If,  on  the  contrary,  the  lady  is  shy 
and  undetermined,  let  him  not  seem  too  anxious  to  secure 
her  favor,  but  treat  her  with  a  polite  deference,  and  endea- 
vor by  assiduous  attention  to  her  wishes,  tastes  and  hu- 
mors, to  gain  her  heart.  Some  young  ladies  will  surrender 
under  such  treatment  even  after  they  had  solemnly  made 
up  their  minds  never  to  encourage  the  man  who  was  thus 
seeking  their  favor. 

Do  not  visit  your  sweetheart  too  often,  lest  by  making 
yourself  common  with  her,  she  will  not  feel  that  respect 
so  necessary  to  foster  genuine  affection.  Some  young  iel- 
lows,  after  they  are  tacitly  accepted  as  lovers,  will  so  over- 
v^helm  ^heir  sweethearts  with  their  company  as  to  becomo 


LOVE    AND    COURTSHIP.  53 

positive  bores.  If  a  girl  is  sensible  she  Vviil  dislike  so  much 
billing  and  cooing. 

In  paying  your  attentions  to  a  young  lady  with  a  view 
of  marriage,  you  sliould  not  be  so  selfish  as  to  omit  your 
duties  towards  other  ladies  in  whose  society  you  may  be 
thrown.  Be  careful  about  this.  You  had  better  run  the 
risk  of  displeasing  your  sweetheart  than  to  lose  caste  by  a 
neglect  of  the  rules  of  good-breeding. 

Never  make  costly  presents  to  a  young  lady  thinking 
thereby  to  obtain  her  favor.  You  can  offer  her  neat  trifles 
in  a  casual  way,  and  procure  any  books  that  she  may  ex- 
press a  desire  to  read.  After  the  matter  is  arranged,  by  an 
engagement,  you  may  show  your  generosity  in  proportion 
to  your  means.  Even  then  it  is  in  bad  taste  to  be  too  lav- 
ish, or  she  may  set  you  down  for  an  improvident  person. 
Young  men  who  are  excessively  liberal  and  attentive  as 
lovers,  do  not  always  make  the  best  husbands.  Girls  know 
this,  and  one  of  good  sense  will  discourage  her  lover  from 
making  needless  expenditure  in  ministering  to  her  gratifi- 
cation, or  in  proof  of  his  devotion. 

Lovers  usually  feel  a  certain  need  of  confidants  in  their 
afHiirs  of  the  heart.  In  general,  .tliey  should  be  of  the 
opposite  sex.  A  young  man  may  with  profit  open  his  heart 
to  his  mother,  an  elder  sister,  or  a  female  friend  consider- 
ably older  than  himself.  The  young  lady  may  with  equal 
advantage  make  a  brother,  an  uncle,  or  some  good  middle- 
aged  married  man  the  repository  of  her  love  secrets,  her 
hopes,  and  her  fears. 

Asking  the  consent  of  parents  or  guardians  is  a  duty 
on  the  part  of  the  lady.  She  should  consult  her  natural 
protectors  before  giving  much  encouragement  to  any  one 
who  aspires  to  her  hand.  It  is  often  unnecessary  for  her  to 
broach  the  subject  to  them  at  all,  because  the  attentions 
paid  to  her  speak  for  themselves.  A  father,  mother,  or 
guardian,  would  naturally  oppose  any  close  intimacy  of- 
fered by  an  unworthy  person.     Where  th*e  lady  lives  apart 


54  ETIQUETTE. 

from  lier  parents  or  guardian,  she  would  commit  a  great 
impropriety  in  neglecting  to  apprise  them  of  any  serious 
attentions  paid  to  her.  In  sucli  a  case  her  lover  might  ap- 
ply for  permission  to  pay  her  his  addresses. 

Young  men  are  presumed  to  have  arrived  at  the  age  of 
discretion  before  they  marr}%  hence  tliey  usually  act  inde- 
pendently of  everybody.  There  may  be  cases,  however, 
where  it  would  be  but  just  and  proper  tliat  a  young  man 
should  ^sk  his  parents'  consent-  If  he  proposes  lo  marry 
before  attaining  an  independent  position,  or  seeks  an  alli- 
ance with  a  lady  either  beneatli  or  much  above  him  in  the 
social  circle,  it  is  but  fair  that  he  should  first  consult  his 
parents.  Never  enter  into  an  engagement  of  this  kind 
with  a  prospect  of  future  isolation  from  your  own  family 
and  friends. 

Never  trifle  with  the  feelings  of  a  lady^  by  paying  her 
marked  attentions  that  you  do  not  intend  for  something. 
A  female  coquette  is  bad  enougli.  A  male  coquette  ought 
to  be  banished  from  society.  .  Let  there  be  a  clearly  per- 
ceived, if  not  an  easily  defined,  distinction  between  the 
attentions  of  common  courtesy  or  of  friendship  and  those 
of  love.  All  misunderstanding  on  this  point  can  and  must 
be  avoided. 

Quarrels  between  lovers  should  be  reconciled  by  a  first 
proposition  on  the  part  of  the  lady.  She  will  thus  show  a 
magnanimity  that  cannot  but  command  the  admiration  of 
her  lover  if  he  has  the  least  spark  of  manhood  about  him. 
If  she  has  been  at  fault,  let  her  confess  it.  If  he  was  un- 
just or  ungenerous,  overlook  his  fault,  and  offer  him  a 
hearty  forgiveness. 

When  a  gentleman  has  treated  his  sweetheart  badly  in 
a  moment  of  petulance,  it  is  but  just  that  he  should  make 
an  apology  and  ask  forgiveness ;  but  do  not  urge  a  recon- 
ciliation— kt  that  come  voluntarily  from  the  lady. 

Many  young  men  are  anxious  to  procure  a  code  of  pro- 
posals, so  that  they  can  conduct  their  courtships,  even 


LOVE   A2TD   COURTSHIP.  55 

down  to  "popping  tlie  question,"  strictly  according  to 
etiquette.  Tliis  is  all  nonsense.  If  your  acquaintance  and 
intimacy  witli  a  lady  does  not  suggest  the  proper  mode  to 
ask  her  hand  in  marriage,  we  are  afraid  there  is  no  hope 
for  you,  unless  she  loves  you  well  enough  to  arrange  the 
little  matter  herself.  "  Popping  the  question"  hy  rule  is 
absurd.  You  had  much  better  write  her  a  note,  revealing 
your  Welshes,  than  to  do  that. 

A  formal  agreement  to  marry  is  not  always  necessary. 
In  your  little  intimacies  the  grand  result  may  be  taken  for 
granted  where  mutual  confidence  is  strong.  It  may  be 
proper  to  clinch  the  matter  by  asking  the  lady  if  she  is 
almost  ready  to  name  the  happy  day — that  being  her  spe- 
cial privilege.  If  she  declines  on  the  ground  of  no  real 
engagement,  it  opens  the  door  for  you  to  make  one  then 
and  there. 

After  an  engagement  to  marry  is  entered  into  in  good 
faith,  and  it  is  so  understood  by  the  lady's  family,  no  mo- 
tives of  delicacy  or  false  shame  should  prevent  her  enjoy- 
ing the  society  of  her  lover  alone,  and  under  circumstances 
that  would  otherwise  seem  imprudent.  But  neither  of 
them  should  ever  show  their  fondness  in  company  by  any 
acts  of  endearment.  It  is  not"  always  necessary  that  en- 
gaged lovers  should  be  left  alone.  They  are  supposed  to 
be  able  to  enjoy  themselves  in  company  as  well  as  other 
people,  and  it  is  therefore  not  correct  to  leave  the  room  be- 
cause the  young  lady's  beau  has  arrived.  If  you  wish  to 
leave  on  that  account,  wait  awhile  until  a  good  excuse 
offers,  but  in  no  case  leave  without  an  apparent  reason. 

An  engaged  j^oung  lady  should  not  encourage  her  lover 
to  be  too  loving  during  courtship.  "  There  is  many  a  slip," 
&c.  Hugging  and  kissing  is  perhaps  all  very  well  when 
not  too  often  or  too  fervently  indulged  in.  The  lady  should 
never  be  lavish  of  her  caresses  nor  too  forward  to  receive 
;hose  of  her  lover.  Let  her  govern  her  feelings  without 
prudishness,  and  keep  up  a  certain  self-respect  that  will  as- 


56  ETIQUETTE 

sure  him  that  though  her  affection  may  be  strong  and  sin- 
cere,  her  sense  of  propriety  governs  her  actions. 

A  gentleman  of  any  degree  of  refinement  will  never  offer 
an  indignity  to  the  lady  of  his  choice.  It  would  be  bru- 
tal in  him  to  do  so,  and  some  very  sensible  people  contend 
that  such  conduct  is  a  proof  of  the  absence*  of  any  sincere 
regard.  This  is  perhaps  a  mistake,  as  the  passions  of  some 
people  are  stronger  than  their  sense  of  propriety.  A  lady 
should  fn-mly  resist  any  improper  liberties  with  her  person 
on  the  part  of  her  lover,  but  it  is  not  necessary  that  she 
should  quarrel  with  him  on  that  account.  Bhe  can  easily 
forgive  her  intended  husband  for  what  would  be  an  un- 
pardonable insult  in  any  other  man.  No  well-bred  person 
will  offer  to  take  offensive  liberties  with  the  girl  he  pur- 
poses* to  marry.  lie  will  have  too  profound  a  respect  for 
her  to  do  that. 

Young  girls  should  be  careful  to  avoid  all  indelicate 
expressions  in  presence  of  their  lovers,  or  in  fact  anywhere 
else.  Some  ladies  not  only  relish  double  entendres^  but  ac- 
tually use  them.  Yet,  how  ever  much  it  may  create  a  feel- 
ing of  cleverness  at  the  moment,  cool  reflection  is  after- 
wards sure  to  condemn  it  both  on  the  part  of  the  speaker 
and  listener.  Such  discourse,  wanton  glances,  and  light- 
ness of  carriage,  are  considered  by  men  as  gauntlets  to 
dare  them  to  speak, and  act  in  a  more  free  and  unguarded 
manner  than  they  otherwise  would  have  the  boldness  to  do. 

At  a  dancing  party,  a  lover  should  not  expect  to  mo- 
nopolize his  sweetheart  as  a  partner.  Let  him  lead  oft' 
with  her  and  then  give  some  one  else  a  chance.  It  is  a 
piece  of  magnanimity  that  every  lady  present  will  appre- 
ciate. These  parties  are  rightly  named  sociables,  and  in 
attending  them  you  should  leave  all  your  selfishness  at 
home. 

Although  it  is  highly  improper  for  an  unmarried  lady 
to  travel,  alone  with  a  gentleman,  yet  after  an  engagement 
between  them  has  taken  place,  the    impropriety  per  se 


LOYE    A^'D    COCTlTSIirP.  57 

ceases.  The  outside  world  are  not  supposed  to  know  of  this 
engagement,  hence  it  is  not  exactly  correct  that  they  should 
travel  alone,  even  then.  She  should  have  a  female  com- 
jianion  with  her. 

Engagements  made  with  due  deliberation,  and  between 
parties  who  h'ave  been  sufficiently  long  acquainted  to 
thoroughly  understand  each  other,  will  seldom  be  broken 
off.  If  such  a  painful  necessity  occurs  let  it  be  met  with 
firmness,  but  with  delicacy.  If  you  have  made  a  mistake, 
it  is  infinitely  better  to  correct  it  at  the  last  moment  than 
not  at  all.  Recollect  that  a  marriage  is  not  easily  dis- 
solved. On  breaking  off  an  engagement,  all  letters,  pres- 
ents, &c.,  should  be  returned,  and  both  parties  should  con- 
sider themselves  pledged  to  the  most  honorable  secrecy 
and  delicate  conduct  in  reference  to  the  whole  matter. 

LOVE  LETTERS. 

In  writing  their  letters,  lovers  should  avoid  a  repetition 
of  endearing  terms.  A  girl  of  good  comnion  sense  does 
not  require  to  be  assured  over  and  over  again  that  she  is 
the  most  fingelic  of  her  sex — the  darling  of  her  lover's 
heart — the  sweet  solace  of  his  existence,  and  all  that  sort 
of  thing.  I  know  that  most  girls  are  fond  of  adulation, 
and  if  one  has  a  real  affection  for  her  lover,  she  will  be  apt 
to  relish  a  good  deal  of  soft  nonsense  put  into  his  letters ; 
nevertheless  it  is  not  the  correct  way  to  write  a  love  epistle. 
Always  compose  your  love-letters  in  a  style  that  you  would 
not  be  ashamed  to  have  them  fall  into  the  hands  of  a  third 
party.  You  can  easily  do  this  and  "  pile  on  the  agony" 
some,  notwithstanding.  You  need  not  be  formal  and  stiff 
^  hi  your  style,  but  avoid  silliness.  Some  lovers  are  natu- 
rally silly,  and  I  do  not  expect  to  learn  them  anythmg.  I 
address  myself  to  those  who  are  supposed  to  be  full- wit- 
ted.  Never  fill  your  love  letters  with  religious  talk,  or 
family  gossip,  tor  fear  your  friend  might  suspect  you  of 
frivolity.    Express  your  sentiments  with  candor  and  for- 


58 .  ETIQUETTE. 

vency,  and  in  a  humorous  rather  than  a  serious  tone. 
Many  lovers  find  it  difficult  to  begin  a  letter  satisfactorily. 
They  desire  some  original  mode  of  opening;  but  when 
cace  started,  they  get  along  very  well.  For  the  ben-efit  of 
Euch  people  I  shall  give  a  few  skeletons  of  love  letters,  to 
be  used  by  ardent  youths  and  maidens,  wdio  can  fill  up  be- 
tween the  bones  to  suit  themselves. 

Skeleton  1.  An  ardent  lover,  w^ho  lives  away  from 
his  mistress,  wants  to  write  his  first  letter  after  having  paid 
her  a  visit.     He  begins  as  follows : 

My  Dearest  Amelia — I  cannot  refrain  from  waiting  you 
a  few^  lines  to-day,  though  w^e  parted  so  recently.  My 
thoughts  are  constantly  with  you,  and  jour  pleasant  face 
and  sweet  smile  seem  even  now  to  be  before  my  mind's 
ej^e.  I  do  not  knoAV  that  it  is  much  satisfaction  to  you  to 
be  so  often  reminded  of  my  love  and  devotion,  but  it  is  a 
pleasure  to  me  to  speak  my  thoughts  on  the  subject,  and 
perhaps  I  am  selfish  in  this  respect.  Be  that  as  it  may,  I 
am  sure  my  whole  soul  is  with  you,  and  the  only  anxiety 
1  have  is  the  fear  that  I  may  not  be  enabled  to  prove  my- 
self worthy  of  your  generous  confidence.  I  shall  do  my 
best,  however,  to  merit  your  constant  love,  A\aiting  and 
hoping  for  the  happy  day  when  we  part  no  more. 

[Here  you  can  put  in  your  own  talk  and  gossip,  and 
conclude  the  letter,  as  follows :] 

With  further  assurances  of  my  entire  devotion,  and 
that  you  have  my  whole  heart,  i  remain  as  ever,  my  dear 
girl,  your  affectionate  friend  and  lover, 

Abham  Lincoln. 

Skeleton  2.  A  matter-of-fact  philosopher  soars  into 
the  regions  of  the  romantic,  and  "  piles  on  the  agony"  a 
little,  in  writing  to  his  lady-love : 

My  Bonnie  Kate — Some  philosopher  has  remarked  that 
when  a  man  is  once  thoroughly  in  love  it  changes  the 
whole  scope  of  his  thoughts,  feelings  and  ideas — tiiat  he, 
in  short,  is  not  the  same  individual  m  point  of  intellect 
that  lie  was  before  he  experienced  the  delightful  sensations 
of  a  sincere  personal  attachment.  Tins  seems  to  me  a 
rational  theory,  if  I  can  judge  by  my  own  experience. 


LOTE  LETTERt.  59 

When  I  reflect  upon  my  x>osition  as  your  favored  friend, 
my  happiness  knows  no  bounds.  The  sun  of  heaven  shines 
bright  and  glorious.  Every  one  around  me  looks  pleasant 
and  contented,  and  I  feel  as  though  the  Creator  of  the  Uni- 
verse had  made  this  beautiful  world  specially  to  confer 
bliss  upon  us  poor  mortals.  I  never  felt  so  before.  There 
was  always  something  wanting.  Success  in  business  mat- 
ters may  have  been  cheering  and  comfortable,  but  yet  my 
happiness  was  incomplete.  I  lacked  a  loving  heart  to 
beat  in  unison  with  my  own.  In  your  affection,  my  dear- 
est Kate,  I  have  found  consolation ;  and  I  hope  and  trust 
that  our  future  career  will  be  one  of  happiness  unalloyed. 
Indeed,  I  feel  that  it  will  be  so,  for  my  feelings  and  affec- 
tions are  much  too  strong  ever  to  ^vander  from  one  v/lio  is 
so  good  and  generous,  and  I  hope  always  to  merit  your  un- 
affected regard. 

[Here  put  in  your  gossip,  and  the  information  you  de- 
sire to  communicate,  and  conclude  as  follows :] 

Hoping  that  our  mutual  sj^mpathy  may  continue  while 
life  lasts,  t  remain,  Katy  darling. 

Your  faithful  friend  and  affectionate  lover, 

Hannibal  Hamlin. 

Skeletons.  Here  is  a  letter  of  more  moderation.  The 
young  fellow  puts  in  only  a  few  "  scientific  licks"  of  love. 
It  is  an  answer  to  a' very  loving  epistle  from  his  sweetheart : 

My  Sweet  and  Pure  Eliza — Your  kind  letter  reached 
me  safely  by  mail  this  morning,  and  I  read  it  with  great 
eagerness  and  pleasure — indeed  I  may  say  I  have  read  it 
over  at  least  a  dozen  times,  so  grateful  and  happy  do  I  feel 
to  enjoy  the  affection  and  confidence  of  one  who  I  sin- 
cerely love.  I  rejoice  to  hear  that  you  are  well,  and  hope 
that  nothing  may  occur  to  mar  your  happiness. 

[Here  put  in  your  gossip,  and  conclude  as  follows :] 

But  I  must  bid  you  adieu!  and  as  I  do  so,  let  me  re- 
mind 3'oa  that  your  loving  letters  are  to  me  a  source  of 
much  pleasure.  As  I  read  them,  I  imagine  1  am  sitting  by 
your  side  and  hearing  the  sound  of  your  voice.  Let  nic 
entreat  you,  then,  to  write  to  m?  constantly.  I  promise  to 
answer  you  promptly,  even  should  my  ideas  run  out  so 
that  I  can  merely  bandy  compliments.  Let  me  again  as- 
sure you  that  you  have  my  whole  lieart,  and  that  I  remain, 
as  ever,  Your  uffcctionate  J^iMEa. 


60  ETIQUETTE, 

Skeleton  4.  Here  is  the  head  and  tail  of  a  pleasant 
little  epiptle  that  will  answer  in  case  5"0u  do  not  want  to  be 
very  sentimental,  but  yet  desire  to  tickle  the  fancy  of  your 
sweetheart  a  little ; 

Dearest  Julia — I  take  great  pleasure  in  again  w' riting  to 
you,  first  to  thank  you  for  your  generous  and  affectionate 
confidence,  and  then  to  assure  you  of  my  entire  and  con- 
tinued devotion.  I  am,  thank  God,  well  and  cheerful,  and 
I  am  constantly  t-hinking  of  "  the  good  time  coming"  when 
we  shall  never  again  be  separated.  It  is  said  that  when 
one  is  really  in  love,  if  things  go  smoothly,  he  or  she  is  the 
happiest  of  mortals.  I  can  believe  in  that  doctrine  impli- 
citly^ and  I  trust  it  is  the  same  with  you.  Tell  me,  is  it 
so  ?  Are  you  one  of  those  favored  by  the  merry  little  fel- 
low with  bow  and  arrows  ?  Does  our  mutual  attachment 
to  contribute  to  your  present  happiness  ?  As  Touchstone 
says — Doth  my  simple  features  content  you  ?  I  think  I 
feel  your  soft  embrace,  and  your  warm  lij^s  upon  my  own 
in  generous  response ! 

[Here  put  in  your  gossip,  and  then  wind  up  the  letter 
as  follows :] 

And  now,  Julia,  let  me  ask  you  another  question,  and 
I  will  then  close.  Don't  you  think  that  when  lovers  part 
for  a  while  they  experience  a  deeper  and  more  profound 
feeling  of  devotion  and  attachment  than  when  they  are 
•  almost  constantly  meeting  and  enjoying  each  other's  soci- 
ety? It  seems  so. to  me.  I  really  believe  that  I  love  you 
more  tenderly  than  ever  now  that  I  can  only  express  my- 
self by  letter.  What  is  the  state  of  your  feelings  ?  Write 
word  and  let  us  compare  notes. 

I  remain,  truly  and  devotedly, 

Your  faithful  and  loving  friend, 

James  Thompson. 

Skeleton  5.  This  may  fit  in  somewdiere,  and  so  we 
print  it.  It  is  a  good  plan  to  take  out  some  particular 
strong  sentences  when  the  whole  skeleton  will  not  suit 
your  case.  Girls  generally  like  to  be  loved  pretty  strong, 
and  it  will  do  no  harm  to  put  in  anywhere  a  few  such  ex- 
pressions as  may  be  found  here : 

Mon  Cher  Ami — What  on  earth  is  the  reason  you  do 
not  write  to  me  ?    I  am  absolutely  pining  :iway  and  dyibg 


LOTE  LETTERS.  61 

by  iwdies  in  consequence  of  your  neglect.  If  I  did  not 
know  that  your  little  heart  was  exactly  in  the  right  place^ 
and  that  some  time  or  other  I  should  have  a  plausible  ex- 
cuse, if  not  a  good  and  valid  one,  for  this  neglect,  I  assure 
you  I  should  begin  to  think  of  getting  vexed.  But  let  us 
not  talk  about  anything  disagreeable.  Love  is  my  theme  ! 
and  it  is  to  my  soul's  idol  that  these  lines  will  speed  their 
w^ay.  Let  me  now  picture  to  my  mind's  eye  my  dear  little 
Carrie  as  she  reads  this  letter.  First  she  puts  on  a  look  of 
sadness  as  she  peruses  my  gentle  reproaches.  A  sweet 
little  blush  now  tinges  her  cheek  as  she  is  assured  of  my 
forgiveness,  and  as  the  reading  continues  she  unconsciously 
raises  the  letter  to  her  lips.  Dear  good  girl !  I  will  kiss 
this  sheet  all  over,  and  thus  have  the  satisfaction  of  send- 
ing you  the  shadow  while  we  cannot  enjoy  the  substance 
of  our  mutual  caresses. 

[Here  write  your  private  gossip,  and  conclude  the  letter 
as  follows:] 

And  now,  Carrie  dear,  don't  fail  to  let  me  hear  from 
you  "  right  sudden."  If  you  have  not  time  or  inclination 
to  write  two  lines,  give  me  one,  and  say  in  it,  "  I  am  well, 
and  I  love  you,  Jolm,"  and  I  will  be  satisfied.  Fancy  your 
own  feelings  if  I  should  neglect  to  write  to  you  for  nearly 
three  weeks !  Adieu,  my  darling,  and  believe  me  that  my 
greatest  present  happiness  is  in  reading  your  letters. 

From  your  always  loving  and  devoted  JonK. 

Ladies  generally  know  exactly  how  to  address  their 
lovers.  To  them  love  letters  come  natural.  It  is  unneces- 
sary to  place  before  them  even  a  "  skeleton "  to  set  them 
agoing,  for  a  live  handsome  young  fellow  will  do  it  alone. 
Nevertheless,  some  of  the  above  skeletons,  or  parts  of 
them,  could  be  adapted  by  ladies  mto  letters  to  their  lov- 
ers, if  they  were  hard  up  for  ideas.  I  will  wind  up  this 
essay  on  letters  by  giving  a  genuine  one  from  a  young 
lady  to  her  lover.     It  is  a  gem  in  its  way : 

Newport,  Aug.  23d,  1857. 

Dear  Jolm — I  have  come  here,  as  you  so  disinterestedly 
recommended,  but  my  heart,  I  fear,  is  left  behind.  _  I  am 
sad  to-night.  Papa  says  that  m  two  or  three  days  I  shall 
be  as  bright  as  a  lark,  but  I  lear  not.     We  go  to  the  White 


62  ETIQUETTE.  ^ 

Mountains  en  Monday,  and  I  want  you  to  come  and  go 
■with  us,  so  I  can  hear  you  talk  about  **  earth's  thousand    ; 
voices,"  "  Nature's  bright  teachings,"  and  all  those  roman- 
tic things  which  are  for  ever  at  your  tongue's  end.     They    \ 
come  natural  to  you,  but  it  is  a  great  eflbrt  for  me  to  get 
them  off.     I  promise  to  make  the  proper  responses  to  all 
your  enthusiastic  exclamations,  and  to  say  ''  Yes  !"  every 
time  you  exclaim  "  Beautiful !"  which  will  keep  me  inces- 
santly busy,  I'm  sure,  for  the  scenery  in  the  mountains  is 
said  to  be  grand.    Do  come,  dear  John,  and  you  will  make 
me  happy.     I  am  troubled  some  with  a  cough,  which  the 
doctor  calls  the  asthma.     Papa  says  I  inherit  from  Grand- 
mother Jones.    I  told  him  it  was  an  awful  piece  of  injus-   ' 
tice  in  her  to  leave  him  all  her  money  and  poor  me  only    : 
her  infirmities.    I  shall  post  this  by  to-night's  mail,  and    | 
will  look  for  your  answer  to-morrow.    You  must  come  oq 
Saturday,  as  we  start  bright  and  early  on  Monday  morn- 
ing.   I  think  you  are  sure  to  come,  as  you  never  refuse  any    ; 
request  of  your  pet  Eliza.         ' 

MARRIAGE. 

"When  a  man  marries  it  is  presumed  that  all  his  bache- 
lor acquaintanceship  ends.    He  can  renew  his  friendships    ! 
by  sending  cards  or  invitations,  but  where  he  neglects  to    I 
do  so,  the  party  neglected  may  be  sure  that  no  further  in-    ] 
tercourse  is  desired.    There  are  various  reasons  for  this. 
In  the  first  place,  a  bachelor  need  not  be  so  particular  in 
his  choice  of  companions  as  a  man  of  family  who  has  a 
social  reputation  to  achieve.    For  amusement,  while  un- 
married,  he  may  associate  freely  with  those  whose  morals  - 
and  habits  would  not  exactly  accord  with  the  proprieties    ] 
of  domestic  life.    After  marriage  his  reputation  must  be   ] 
unexceptionable  if  he  expects  to  be  recognized  among  per-    ; 
sons  of  lefinement.     There  is  still  another  reason  why  he    : 
may  discard  bachelor  acquaintances.    A  newly  married 
pair  may  wish  to  limit  the  circle  of  their  friends,  from    : 
praiseworthy  motives  of  economy.     When  a  man   first    i 
"  sets  up  ''in  the  world,  the  burden  of  an  extensive  and    ; 
indiscriminate  acquaintance  may  be  felt  in  various  ^^ny%    ] 


MARRIAGE.  63 

Maii}^  have  had  cause  to  regret  the  weakness  of  mind 
which  allowed  them  to  plunge  into  a  vortex  of  gayety 
and  expense  they  could  ill  afford,  from  which  they  have 
found  it  difficult  to  extricate  themselves,  and  the  effects 
of  which  have  proved  a  serious  evil  to  them  in  after-life. 

Ladies,  after  an  engagement  to  marrj^,  should  be  cau- 
tious of  receiving  any  attentions  whatever  from  gentlemen. 
Lovers  are  naturally  jealous  of  any  such  attentions,  how- 
ever innocent  or  frivolous. 

If,  after  engagement,  a  lady  should  wish  to  go  to  a  place 
of  public  amusement,  or  to  a  concert,  or  even  to  an  even- 
ing meeting,  she  should  not  accept  an  invitation  to  go  with 
a  gentleman  other  than  her  lover,  except  it  be  a  near  rela- 
tive, such  as  her  brother  or  an  elderly  uncle.  To  go  with 
any  other  gentleman,  except  by  permission  of  her  intended 
husband,  would  be  exceedingly  improper. 

It  is  the  lady's  privilege  to  name  the  day  for  marriage, 
and  the  lover  should  leave  the  arrangement  exclusively  to 
her.  He  ought  never  to  urge  her  to  hasten  the  event  con- 
trary to  her  wishes,  as  the  lady  may  have  reasons  that  he 
cannot  appreciate  for  a  more  remote  day  for  the  nuptials 
than  he  desires. 

The  bridal  outfit,  which  is  furnished  by  the  relatives 
of  the  bride,  usually  consists  of  clothing  and  necessary 
family  linen.  Some  opulent  fathers  will  add  to  these  a 
house  and  furniture.  Jewels  are  not  usually  comprised  in 
an  outfit.  They  are  presented  by  the  bridegroom.  Bridal 
presents  consist  of  any  useful  or  ornamental  article  for  the 
use  of  the  bride,  whether  to  adorn  her  person,  for  the 
toilet,  or  for  house-keeping.  Sometimes  dress-patterns  are 
given,  but  they  are  not  appropriate,  as  the  colors  may  ncfc 
please  her.  ) 

Some  ladies  put  on  a  traveling  dress,  get  married  in  a 
hurry,  and  start  at  once  for  the  cars  or  steamboat.  This 
is  not  the  correct  way.  A  bride  should  be  dressed  in 
white,  with  wliite  veil  and  a  wreath  of  orange  flowers  on 


54  '  ETIQUETTE. 

her  head.  After  the  ceremony  is  over,  and  she  has  ro 
ceived  the  congratulations  of  friends,  she  can  put  on  her 
travehng  dress  and  hasten  away  as  fast  as  she  pleases. 
If,  from  motives  of  economy,  you  conclude  to  go  through 
the  ceremony  in  your  traveling  dress,  you  should  only  in- 
vite a  few  intimate  friends  to  be  present. 

The  bridegroom  should  wear  a  black  dress  coat  and 
trowsers,  white  vest,  and  black  cravat.  Let  us  entreat 
him  not  to  commit  the  solecism  against  good  taste  of  wear- 
ing a  white  cravat,  which  gives  an  inexpressibly  silly  look 
to  the  most  intellectual  countenance  in  the  world. 

The  bride  may  havt  one  or  half-a-dozen  bridesmaids  at 
her  choice.  No  particular  number  bein^  fixed,  it  is  often 
determined  by  the  number  of  sisters  or  of  intimate  friends 
she  may  have.  The  bridesmaids  should  be  dressed  in 
white,  all  alike,  and  wear  orange  flower  bouquets. 

If  there  is  a  bridal  breakfast,  or  collation,  the  bride 
should  retain  her  bridal  dress  mitil  that  is  over.  She  can 
then  put  on  her  traveling  dress. 

After  the  departure  of  the  newly  married  couple,  cards 
are  issued,  and  wedding  cake  forwarded  to  their  numerous 
friends.  The  cards  usually  contain  an  appointment  of  a 
certain  day  (or  two  or  three  days  if  necessary)  when  they 
will  be  "at  home"  to  receive  visits  of  congratulation. 
Cards  and  cake  are  also  sent  to  distant  friends — those  re- 
siding even  hundreds  of  miles  away.  The  cake  is  often 
omitted,  and  the  cards  sent  by  mail. 

When  a  bride  attends  the  first  party  after  marriage,  she 
usually  trims  her  hair  with  orange  flowers. 

A  new  married  couple  is  not  expected  to  give  parties 
at  their  house  for  the  first  year ;  but  after  that  time  they 
must  no  longer  play  the  part  of  exceptional  beings,  but 
blend  with  the  herd,  and  give  and  take  as  others  do. 


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Knowlson's  Farrier,  and  Complete  Horse  Doctor.  We  have 
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The  Art  of  Conversation.  With  Kemarks  on  Fashion 
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Horse-Taming  by  a  New  Method,  as  Practiced  hy 

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The  G-ame  of  Whist.  Bules,  Directions  and  Maxims  to 
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The  Ladies'  Love  Oracle ;  (yr,  Counselor  to  the  Fair  Sex. 
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different  events  and  situations  of  life,  but  more  especially  relating  to  all 
circumstances  connected  with  Love,  Courtship  and  Marriage.  By  Madams 
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The   La-WS    of  Love.      A  Complete    Code  of   Gallantry. 
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The  G-reat  Wizard  of  the  North's  Hand-Book  of 

Natural  Magic.  Being  a  series  of  the  Newest  Tricks  of  Deception,  ar- 
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Dr.    Valentine's    Comic    Lectures ;   or,  Morsels  of 

Mirth  for  the  Melancholy.  A  budget  of  Wit  anl  Humor,  and  a  certain 
cure  for  the  blues  and  all  other  serious  complaints.  Comprising  Comic 
Lectures  on  Heads,  Faces,  Noses,  Mouths,  Animal  Magnetism,  Etc.,  with 
Specimens  ef  Eloquence,  Transactions  of  Learned  Societies,  Delineations  of 
Eccentric  Characters,  Comic  Songs,  Etc.,  Etc.  liy  Dr.  W.  Valentine, 
the  favorite  Delineator  of  Eccentric  Characters.  Illustrated  wi'h  twelve 
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cloth,  gilt.    Price $1  25 

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Dr.  Valentine's  Comic  Metamorphoses.   Being  the 

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Mrs.  Partington's  Carpet-Bag  of  Fun.  A  Collec- 
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QUEER  SAYING.S  OF  MllS.  PARTIJSTGTON,  Heart-Kending  Puns, 
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woodcuts.     12mo,  300  pages,  cloth,  gilt.    Price $125 

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Sam   Slick   in  Search    of  a  Wife.     l2mo,   paper. 

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The    Attache;    or,    Sam   Slick  in  England.     12mo.     Paper. 

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Ladies'  G-Uide  to  Crochet.  By  Mrs.  Ann  S.  Stephens. 
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The  Laughable  Adventures  of  Messrs.  Brown, 

Jones  and  Robinson.  Showing  where  they  wont  and  how  they  went ; 
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lingly  comic  engravings.    Price— 30  cts. 

The  Knapsack  Full  of  Fun ;  or,  One  Thousand  Baiions 
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witty  writers.    Large  quarto.    Price 30  cts. 

The  Plate  of  Chowder  ;  A  Dish  fw  Fanny  Fellows.  Ap- 
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Yale  College  Scrapes  ;    or,  Hew  the  Boys  Go  It  at  New 

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The  Comic  English  Grammar  ;  or,  A  Complete  Grammar 
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The    Comical   Adventures   of  David  Dufficks. 

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Tony  Pastor's  Complete  Budget  of  Comic  Songs. 

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The  Encyclopedia  of  Popular  Songs.  Being  a  com- 
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Tony  Pastor's  Book  of  Six  Hundred  Comic 

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Comic  Duets,  Diverting  Bialocrucs,  and  Locnl  Lyrics,  as  punff  and  ffiven 
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Day's    American    Ready-Reckoner.       Containing 

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square  foot  (board  measure)  or  cubic  foot  (timber  measure).  Also  how  to 
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by  Chains  and  Links  or  by  Yards  and  Feet.  Also  telling  how  to  describe  a 
piece  of  Land  in  deeding  it.  Also  giving  information  as  to  acquiring  and 
locating  a  Farm  on  the  Public  Lands  of  the  United  States.  By  B.  H.  Day. 
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Martine's  Letter-Writer  and  Etiquette  Com- 
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back.  A  great  many  books  have  been  printed  on  the  subject  of  etiquette 
and  correct  behavior  in  society,  but  none  of  them  are  sufficiently  compre- 
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beginners  in  fashionable  life.  This  book  is  entirely  different  from  others 
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to  conduct  yourself  in  every  position  in  society.  This  book  also  contains 
over  300  sensible  letters  and  notes  suitable  to  every  occasion  in  life,  and  is 
probably  the  best  treatise  on  Letter- Writing  that  has  ever  been  printed. 
It  gives  easily  understood  directions,  that  are  brief  and  to  the  point.  It 
has  some  excellent  model  letters  of  friendship  and  business,  and  its  model 
Love-Letters  are  unequaled.  If  any  lady  or  gentleman  desires  to  know 
how  to  hegin  a  love  correspondence,  this  is  just  the  book  they  want.  This 
volume  contains  the  same  matter  as  '^Marline's  Hand-Book  of  Etiquette'* 
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books  bound  together  in  one  substantial  volume  of  373  pages.  $1  50 

The  Independent  Liqnorist ;  or,  The  Art  of  Mann- 

factnring:  all  kinds  of  Syrups,  Bitters,  Cordials,  Champagrne, 
"Wines,  Lager  Eeer,  Ale,  Porter,  Beer,  Punches,  Tinctures, 
Extracts, ,  Brandy,  G-in,  Essences,  Flavoring-s,  Coloringrs, 
Sauces,  Catsups,  Pickles,  Preserves,  etc.  By  L.  Monzert,  Practi- 
cal Liquorist  and  Chemist.  Every  Druggist,  Grocer,  Restaurant,  Hotel- 
keeper,  Farmer,  Fruit  Dealer,  "Wine  Merchant,  and  every  private  family 
should  have  a  copy  of  this  work.  It  gives  the  most  approved  methods,  and 
a  true  description  of  the  manner  in  which  our  most  popular  beverages  are 
prepared,  in  such  plain  terms,  that  the  most  inexperienced  person  can 
manufacture  as  well  as  the  practical  man,  without  the  aid  of  any  expensive 
apparatus.    12mo.,    cloth.    Price $3  00 

Miner's  Domestic  Poultry  Book.    A  Treatise  on  the 

History,  Breeding  and  General  Management  of  Foreign  and  Domestic  Fowls. 
By  T.  B.  Mixer,  author  of  "  American  Bee-Keepers  Manual,"  embracing 
all  the  late  Importations  of  Fowls,  and  being  descriptions  by  the  best  Fowl 
Fanciers  in  the  United  States,  of  all  the  most  valuable  breeds,  with  the  au- 
thor's extensive  exnerience  as  a  breeder,  together  with  selected  matter  of 
interest,  comprising,  as  it  is  believed,  the  most  complete  and  authentic 
work  on  the  subject  ever  published.  Illustrated  with  numerous  Portraits 
rom  Life,    Bound  in  cloth.    Price $1  50 


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Mrs.  Crowen's  Amerioan  Ladies'  Cookery  Book. 

Comprising  every  variety  of  information  for  ordinary  and  holiday  occasionsj 
and  containing  over  1200  original  Beceipts  tor  preparing  and  cooking  Soups 
and  Broths,  Fish  and  Oysters,  Clams,  Muscles  and  Scollops,  Lobsters, 
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ther with  valuable  and  important  hints  on  choosing  and  purchasing  all 
kinds  of  Provisions,  and  preparing  Ilipe  Fruits  for  Table,  Bills  of  Fare  for 
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ty of  Dinner  Parties,  Etiquette  of  the  Dinner  Table,  Cookery  for  Invalids, 
Carving  Made  Easy,  Etc.  The  whole  being  a  complete  system  of  American 
Cookery.  By  Mrs.  T.  J.  Crowen.  Illustrated  with  several  diagrams.  This 
genuine  and  really  practical  American  Cook  Book  is  worth  a  thousand  of 
the  foreign  republications  which  are  issued  from  the  press  in  this  country. 
Mrs.  Crowen  gives  directions  for  making  all  sorts  of  economical  dishes, 
baking  all  kinds  of  cakes  and.  pies,  manufacturing  every  variety  of  confec- 
tionery, preserving,  pickling,  &c.,  so  plainly  that  the  housekeeper  of  a 
week's  standing  can  easily  act  upon  her  directions,  and  yet  she  has  taken  so 
co'iiprehensive  a  scope  that  the  very  best  and  most  skillful  will  find  some- 
thing new.  All  the  Receipts  in  thii  work  have  been  carefully  tried,  and 
maybe  reliei  upon  as  the  result  of  actual  experience.  12mo,  cloth  bin-l- 
ing, 474pages.    Price _ *, $2  00 

Martine's  Sensible  Letter  "Writer;  Bein^  a  comprehen- 
sive and  complete  Guide  and  Assistant  for  those  who  desire  to  carry  on 
Epistolary  Correspondence ;  Containing  a  large  collection  of  model  letters, 
on  the  simplest  matters  of  life,  adapted  to  all  ages  and  conditions, 


EMBRACING, 


Letters  of  Courtesy,  Friendship  and 
Affection ; 

Letters  of  Condolence  and  Sympaih    ; 

A  Choice  Collection  of  Love  Letters,  for 
Every  Situation  in  a  Courtship ; 

Notes  of  Ceremony,  Familiar  Invita- 
tions, etc.,  together  with  Holes  ofA'j- 
ceptance  and  Regret. 


Business  Letters  ; 

Applications  for  Employment,  with 
Letters  of  Recommendation,  and 
Answers  to  Advertisements  ; 

Letters  between  Parents  and  Children  ; 

Letters  of  Friendly  Counsel  and  Re- 
monstrance ; 

Letters  soliciting  Advice,  Assistance, 
and  Friendly  Favors  ; 

The  whole  containing  300  Sensible  Letters  and  ITotes.  This  is  an  invalua- 
ble book  for  those  persons  who  have  not  had  sufficient  practice  to  enable 
them  to  write  letters  without  great  effort.  It  contains  such  a  variety  of 
letters,  that  models  may  be  found  to  suit  every  subject.    Bound  in  boards, 

with  illuminated  cover  and  cloth  back,  207  pages.    Price . 50 

Bound  in  cloth — -- 73 

Martine's  Hand-Book  of  Etiquette  and  Guide 

to  True  Politeness.  A  complete  Manual  lor  all  those  who  desire  to 
understand  good  breeding,  the  customs  of  good  society,  and  to  avoid  incor- 
rect and  vulgar  habits.  Containing  clear  and  comprehensive  directions  for 
correct  manners,  conversation,  dress  introductions,  rules  for  good  behavior 
at  Dinner  Parties  and  the  table,  uith  hints  on  carving  and  wine  at  the  table  ; 
together  with  the  Etiquette  of  the  Ball  and  Assembly  Room,  Evening  Par- 
ties, and  the  usages  to  be  observed  when  visitincr  or  receiving  calls  ;  deport- 
ment in  the  street  and  when  travelmg.  To  which  is  added  the  Etiquette  of 
Courtship,  Marriage,  Domestic  Duties,  and  fifty-six  rules  to  be  observed  m 
general  society.  By  Arthttr  Martine,  author  of  *'Martines  Sensible  Let- 
ter Writer."    Bound  in  boards,  with  cloth  back.    Price 50  CtS 

Bound  in  cloth,  guilt  sides.    Price ..7S 


Copici  of  the  above  buoic4  scut  tree  of  postage  ou  rccuipt  of  price. 


Madam  Le  Normand's  Unerring  Fortune-Teller' 

Containing  the  celebrated  Oracle  of  Human  Destiny,  ©r  Book  of  Fate 
being  an  accurate  Interpreter  of  the  Mystical  Signs  aad  Heavenly  Bodies; 
also  embracing  the  French,  Italian  and  English  methods  of  Telling  For- 
tunes with  Curds,  and  a  new  and  entertaining  process  of  Fortune  Telling 
with  Dice  ;  also  containing  seventy-nine  good  and  bad  Omens,  with  their 
Interpretation,  one  hundred  and  eighty-seven  Weather  Omens,  and  i  he 
Signitication  of  all  the  Male  and  Female  Names  in  our  language.  This 
interesting  and  curious  book  was  written  by  Madam  Le  Nokmand,  the 
great  French  Fortune-Teller,  who  was  frequently  consulted  by  the  E  raper- 
or  Napoleon,  and  it  differs  entirely  from  any  other  book  published  in  this 
country.  Those  purchasing  it  will  find  it  to  bo  a  source  of  much  entertain- 
ment and  fun  in  the  family  circle.  This  book  contains  144  pages,  and  is 
bound  in  pasteboard  sides,  with  cloth  back.  It  is  illustrated  with  numer- 
ous engravings.  It  also  contains  a  large  Colored  Lithographic  Engraving 
of  the  Mystical  Table,  or  Chart  of  Fate,  which  folds  up.    Price 40 

Live  and  Learn :  A  guide  for  all  those  who  wish  to  speak 
and  write  correctly ;  particularly  intended  as  a  Book  of  Reference  for  the 
solution  of  diificuities  connected  with  Grammar,  Composition,  Punctua- 
tion, &c.,  «S:c.,  containing  examples  of  one  thousand  mistakes  of  daily  oc- 
currence, in  speaking,  writing,  and  pror  unciation.  216  pages,  cloth,  12mo, 
Price .^_' «., 7o 

The  Harp  of  a  Thousand  Strings ;  or,  Laughter  for  a 

Lifetime.  A  large  book  of  nearly  400  pages.  By  the  author  of 
Mrs.  Partington's  Carpet-Bag  of  Fun.  Bound  in  a  handsome  gilt  cover. 
Containing  more  than  a  million  laughs,, and  crowded  full  of  Funny  Stories, 
besides  being  illustrated  with  over  Two  Hundred  Comical  Engravings,  by 
Darley,  McLennan,  Bellew,  &c.    Price _ $1  50 

Anecdotes  of  Love.  Being  a  true  account  of  the  most  re- 
markable events  connected  with  the  History  of  Love  in  all  Ages  and  among 
all  Nations.  By  Lola  Montez,  Countess  of  Landsfeldt.  Large,  12mo, 
cloth.    Price $1  50 

Narratives  and  Adventures  of  Travelers  in  Africa.. 

By  Charles  Williams,  Esq.  12mo,  cloth,  gilt  back.  Profusely  illustrated 
with  engravings.    Price - $3  00 

The  Book  of  1 ,000  Comical  Stories ;  or,  Endless  Be- 
past  of  Fun.  A  rich  banquet  for  every  day  in  the  year,  with  several  cours- 
es and  a  dessert.  BILL  OF  FAKE  :  Comprising  Tales  of  Humor,  Laughable 
Anecdotes,  Irresistible  Drolleries,  Jovial  Jokes,  Comical  Conceits,  Puuk  and 
Pickings,  Quibbles  and  Queries,  Bon  Mots  and  Broadgrins,  Oddities,  Epi- 
grams, &c.,  &c.  Appropriately  Illustrated  with  300  Comic  Engravings.  By 
the  author  of  *'  Mrs.  Partington's  Carpet-Bag  of  Fun."  Large"l2mo,  cloth. 
Price $150 

The    Courtship   and   Adventures   of  Jonathan 

Homebred ;  or,  the  Scrapes  and  Escapes  of  a  Live  Yankee. 
Beautifully  lUustratec!  12mo,  cloth.  This  book  is  printed  in  handsome 
style,  on  good  paper,  a-    i  with  amusing  engravings.    Price $1  50 

Etiquette  and  Usages  of  Society.  Containing  the  most 

Approved  Rules  for  Connect  Conduct  in  Social  and  Fashionable  Life — ^rith 
Hints  to  both  GentlcmGU  and  Ladies  on  Awkward  and  Vulgar  Habits. 
Also,  the  Etiquette  of  Love  and  Courtship,  Marriage  Etiquette,  &c.,  &c., 

By  H.  P."WiLLis.    A  book  of  G4  pages.    Price , 10 

Bound  in  cloth  with  gilt  side,  and  printed  on  fine  paper,  suitable  for  a  pres- 
ent to  aladv.    Price — 50 


Copi»3  ef  ttic  Roov-^^  ))0(>k*  stii-vt  fr.3  of  posuiiv'  oi  i-cL-lrt  <  rj  t 


-Popular  Books  sent  Free  of  Postage  at  tlie  Prices  annexed. 


OUB  CELEBRATED  SSEIES  OF 

DETECTIVE  TALES  AUB  ADVEi^TURES 

The  Diary  of  a  Detective  Police  Officer.    Tiiis  batch 

of  stories  was  also  written  by  the  famous  London  Detective  "Wateks," 
and  have  ha  i  an  immense  sale.  It  is  wonderful  to  read  about  tlie  tncks. 
disi^uises  and  stratagems  this  shrewd  ofliceremp  oyed  to  accomplish  his  ex- 
traordinary arrests,  and  to  brln^  a  lot  of  cunn.n:?  roirues  to  j  ustice.  Sumo- 
times  '•  Waters"  gut  into  what  is  called  "  a  tight  place,'*  and  was  glad  to 
escape  with  his  life  ;  but  he  generally  managed  to  "nab  "  his  prey  before 
they  found  out  who  he  was.  This  spienrhd  book  embraces  twenty  very  in- 
teresting tales,  written  under  the  following  titles  :  One  Night  in  a  Gam- 
ing-House;  Guilty  or  Not  Guilty;  X.  Y.  Z.;  The  Widow;  The  Twins; 
The  Pursuit;  Legal  Metamorphoses;  Tiie  llevenge ;  Mary  Kmgsford ; 
Flint  Johnson;  The  Monomaniac;  The  Partner;  The  Conspiracy;  Mark 
Stretton  ;  The  Dramatic  Author ;  The  Two  Widows  ;  Mrs.  Wirherton  ;  The 
Orphans;  Helen  Forsyth;  The  Stolen  Letter,  a  Lawyer's  Story.  Lar-e 
octavo.    Price _ 75  cts. 

Leaves  from  the    Note-Book  of  a  New  York 

Detective;  or,  The  Private  Becordof  J.  B.  Some  of  those  are  extraor- 
dinary stories,  and  ail  o?:'  them  well  toid.  The  book  has  the  interest  of  a 
single  stoi'y,  with  the  advantage  to  the  reader  of  being  able  to  stop  at  the 
close  of  each  iiart  withuut  annoyance.  Of  the  relative  merits  of  each  tale 
it  is  difficult  to  speak,  since  they  are  s<^dtversj  in  character,  'ihere  is 
something  very  excit.ng  about  these  stories  ;  the  reader  partakes  of  the 
hopes  and  fears  of  the  Detective  as  his  prospect  of  success  waxes  or  wanes, 
and  enjoys  a  glow  of  satisfaction  at  his  ultimate  triumph.  Some  of  the 
situations  the  Detective  gets  into  are  very  perilous,  for  it  is  no  joke  to  be  in 
the  clutches  of  a  forger,  counterfeiter,  burglar  or  murderer,  made  desperate 
by  the  certainty  of  being  punished  if  secured  and  delivered  to  the  ministers 
of  justice.    Large  octavo.    Price - 75  cts. 

Strange  Stories  of  a  Detective;   or,  CuriosUies  of 

Crime.  There  is  something  very  thrilling  and  fascinating  about  these 
stories ;  an  I  the  immense  sale  this  collection  is  having  is  an  (jvidence  of  its 
popularity  with  the  reading  public.  However  startling  the  incidents  may 
be,  there  is  no  improbability  about  them.  Indeed,  tlie  book  bears  internal 
evidence  of  being  a  transcript  of  personal  experience,  or  based  on  it;  and 
many  of  the  cases  will  be  recognized  by  readers  familiar  with  the  Jinnals  of 
the  police.  Thi-y  ai-e  all  pictures  of  the  time,  and  well  painted  at  that. 
Large  octavo.    Price 75  cts. 

The  Experiences  of  a  French  Detective.    This  is  a 

collection  of  very  startling  stories,  showing  hoT>^  a  shrewd  French  Detective 
outwitted  a  lot  of  cunning  French  ci'iminals.  The  adventures  of  the  officer 
are  very  thrilling.  The  disguises  and  tricks  he  adopted  to  entrap  the 
scamps  he  had  to  catch,  and  the  hair-breadth  escapes  he  made  from  dan- 
gerous situations,  together  with  his  ultimate  success,  furnish  matter  for  a 
continued  narrative  that  is  dramatic  in  the  extreme,  and  show  that  "  Truth 
is  stranger  than  Fiction."    Large  octavo.    Price 75  cts« 

Autobiography  of  a  London  Detective.    This  series 

of  powerful  Tales  is  by  *'  Waters,"  who  was  a  famous  London  Detective 
officer,  and  the  book  produced  a  great  sensation  when  first  published  in 
England,  the  sale  exceeding  100,000  copies.  This  work  embraces  seventeen 
Stories,  all  founded  upon  the  facts  that  occurred  in  the  eventful  experience 
of  this  colcbrafcd  Othcer.  No  person  who  loves  cxcitins'  rcadinjc  phonld 
fail  to  get  this  intercbting  book.    Large  octavo.    Price 75  cts. 

S(3i}.d  cash  orders  to  Bids  &  Fltzgrarald,  Kew  York. 


Popular  Books  sent  Free  of  Postage  at  the  Prices  annesed. 


TALES  OF  BORDER  ADVENTURE. 

This  splendid  series  of  N'ovels  embraces  some  of  the  most  interesting  Tales 
ever  written  about,  "the  Trappei's,  Scouts  and  Indian  Hunters  of  the  boundless 
Western  Prairies.  These  Novels  abound  in  scenes  of  danger  and  border  ad- 
venture, and  show  the  cunning  and  cruelty  of  the  treacherous  Indian.  To 
those  who  delight  in  reading  about  squatter  life,  Indian  fights,  and  tho  gal- 
lant exploits  of  our  Western  Rangers  and  Riflemen  the  books  in  this  list  will 
be  a  great  treat.    The  following  are  the  names  of  the  books  in  the  series  : 

Silver   Knifo ;  or,  The  Hunters  of  the  Rocky  Mountains.     By 
Du.  Robinson.    Price 25  cts 

Pepe,  the  Scout ;  or,  The  Hunters  of  Sonora.    Price..25  cts. 

Black  Ha"wk  ;  or.  The  Banger* s  Scalp.     Price 25  cts. 

The  H-QIlter'S  Trail;  or,  The  Indian' s  Ruse.   Price.. 25  cts. 

The  Hanger's  RiQe ;  or.   The  Wolf  of  the  War  Rath. 

Price 25  cts. 

"War  Axe;  or,   The  Redskin's  Revenge.    Price 25  cts. 

Steel  Arm  ;  or.   The  Robbers  and  Regulators  of  California. 
Price- '. 25  cts. 

Big  G-Oliath;  or.   The  Terror  of  the  Mines.     Price. 25  cts. 

The  Hsgulators  of  Arkansas.    Price 25  cts. 

Bill  Johnson,  The  Outlaw  of  Arkansas.     Price 25  cts. 

Hawson,  The  Renegade.     Price 25  cts. 

The  Red  Scout ;  or,  The  Outlaw's  Revenge.     Price... -25  cts. 

Red  Jack;  or,   The  Scout's  Rifle.     Price 25  cts. 

Byron  Blonday  ;  or.  The  Blue  Ranger.     Price ..25  cts. 

The  Ranger  of  Ravenstream.     Price 25  cts. 

The  Patrol  of  the  Mountain.    Price 25  cts. 

The  Scout  of  the  Silver  Pond.    Price 25  cts. 

The  Hunted  Chief;  or,  The  French  Ranchero.  Price. .25  cts. 

The  Prairie  G-uide.    A  Tale  of  the  War  of  1812. 

Price - 25  cts. 

The  Maid  of  the  Saranac ;  or,  The  Rose  of  the  Rio  Grande. 
Price - 25  cts. 

The  Woodman's  Rifle.    Price 25  cts. 

Norwood ;  or,  Life  on  the  Prairie.     By  Ned  Buntline. 

Price 1 25  cts. 

The  Red  Right  Hand.    By  Ned  Buntune.   Price. .25  cts. 
The  Pale  Lily.     An  Imlian  Tale.     Price 25  cts. 

On  receipt  of  the.  price,  eWier  in  Cash  or  Stamps,  copies  of  any  of  the  above 
named  books  will  be  sent  to  any  part  of  the  United  Statrs  or  Canadas,  either  by 
mail  or  express,  securely  and  neatly  packed,  postpaid.  Recollect  !  any 
book  you  want  you  can  have  at  the  advertised  price.      Address 

DICK  &  riTZGEBJLn,  ruhllshers,  New  Yorlt. 


Send  cash  orders  to  Dick  Sc  Fitzsrerald,  New  Tork. 


Popular  Books  sent  freo  of  Postage  at  the  Prices  annexed. 


The  Parlor  Stage.  A  collection  of  Drawing-Eoom  Proverbs, 
Charades  aud  Tableaux  Vivants.  By  Miss  S.  A.  Fkost.  The  authoress 
of  this  attractive  volume  has  performed  her  taik  with  skill,  talent,  and  wo 
might  suy  with  genius  ;  for  the  Acting  Charades  and  I'rovcrbs  are  really 
minor  dramas  of  a  high  order  of  merit.  There  are  twenty-four  of  thoni, 
and  fourteen  tableaux,  all  of  which  are  excellent.  The  characters  are  ad- 
mirably drawn,  well  contrasted,  and  the  plots  and  dialogues  much  better 
tlian  those  of  many  popular  pieces  performed  at  the  public  thetltres.  Any 
parlor  with  folding  or  sliding  doors  is  suitable  for  their  representation  (o)-, 
if  there  are  no  sliding  or  folding  doors,  a  temporary  curtain  will  answer). 
The  dresses  are  all  those  of  modern  society,  and  the  scenery  and  properties 
can  be  easily  provided  from  the  resources  of  almost  any  family  residence  in 
town  or  country.  The  book  is  elegantly  got  up,  and  we  commend  it  heart- 
ily to  young  gentlemen  and  ladies  who  wish  to  beguile  the  long  winter 
evenings  with  a  species  of  amusement  at  once  interesting,  instructive  and 
amusing.  368  pages,  small  oetavo,  cloth,  gilt  side  and  back,  beveled odtre**. 
Price $160 

The  Cdmbiiiation  Fortnne-Teller  and  Dictionary 

of  Dreams.  Being  a  comprehensive  Encyclopsedia,  explaining  all  tHo 
different  methods  extant  by  which  good  and  evil  events,  and  questions  of 
Love  and  Matrimony  are  foretold  by  means  of  Cards,  Dice,  Dominoes, 
Apple-parings,  Eggs,  Tea-leaves  and  Coffee-grounds  ;  also,  prognostications 
by  Charms,  Ceremonies,  Omens,  and  Moles,  the  Features  and  Fox-m,  Linfs 
of  the  Hands,  Spots  on  the  Body,  Lucky  and  Unlucky  Days,  etc:  to  whicli 
are  added,  a  description  of  the  Divining  or  Luck  Hod,  the  Golden  Wheel  of 
Fortune,  The  Mystical  Table  or  Chart  of  Fate,  the  Ladies*  Love  Oracle, 
Napoleon's  Oracuium,  the  Language  of  Flowers,  one  hundred  and  eighty- 
seven  weather  signs,  and  a  complete  Dictionary  of  Dreams  with  their  in- 
terpretations, containing  430  pages  and  illustrated  with  numeI•o^^s  engrav- 
ings and  two  large  colored  Lithographs.  The  whole  combining  "  Madame  Le 
Noi'mand's  Unorring  Fortune-Teller,"  "Fontaine's  Golden  Wheel  Fortune- 
Teller,"  and  "  Madame  LoMai-chand's  Fortune-Teller  and  Dreamer's 
Dictionary."    il2mo.,  cloth.    Price $1  25 

De  "Walden's  Ball-Boom  Companion;  or,  Danc- 
ing Made  Easy.  A  Complete  Practical  Instructor  in  the  art  of  Danc- 
ing, con,taining  all  the  fashionable  and  approved  Dances,  directions  for 
calling  the  Figures,  &c.  By  Emile  De  Warden,  Teacher  of  Dancing. 
This  book  gives  instruction  in  Deportment,  Rudiments  and  Positions,  Bows 
and  Courtesies,  Fancy  Dancing,  Quadrilles,  Waltzes,  Minuets,  Jigs,  Span- 
ish Dances,  Polka,  Schottische,  Galop,  Deux  Temps,  Danish,  Redowa, 
Varsorienne,  Hop,  &c.,  together  with  all  the  newest  Waltzes  and  Quad- 
rilles in  vogue.  It  also  contains  complete  directions  for  all  the  figures  of 
the  celebrated  "  Gbuman,"  or  Cotillion.  Bound  in  boards,  cloth  back. 
Price 60  cts. 

Walker's  Cribbage  Made  Easy.   Being  a  new  and 

complete  Treatise  on  the  game  in  all  varieties ;  inclnding  the  whole  of  An- 
thony Pasquin's  scientific  work  on  Five-Card  Cribbage.  By  George 
Walker,  Esa.  This  is  a  very  comprehensive  work  on  this  Game,  being  the 
most  complete  ever  written.  It  contains  over  500  examples  of  how  to  dis- 
card, for  your  own  and  your  adversary's  crib.    Small  octaro,  142  pages, 

bound  in  boards,  with  muslin  back.    Price ---75  cts. 

Bound  in  cloth,  gilt  side.    Price $1  00 

Sut  LiOVingOOd.  Yarns  spun  by  "A  Nat'ral  Born  Dum'd 
Fool.'*  Warped  and  Wove  for  Public  Wear  by  George  W.  Harris.  Il- 
lustrated with  eight  line  full-page  engravings  from  designs  by  Howard. 
This  book  is  crammed  full  of  the  most  laughable  stories  ever  published. 
l2mo.,  tinted  paper,  cloth,  beveled  edges.     Price $1  75 


Send  Cash  orders  to  Dick  &  Fitzgerald,  New  York. 


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NEW  SERIES  OP  ITOVELS 

ABOUT  CELEBEATED  HIGHWAYMEN  &  HOUSEBREAEEES. 

This  thrilling  now  series  of  novels  embraces  the  Romantic  Exploits  and 
Adventures  of  Tom  Papox,  Jack  Sueppaiid,  Dick  Turpix,  Claude  Duval, 
Blueskin,  and  'J  cm  King.  All  the  vild,  daring,  and  dashing  scenes  of  rob- 
ber liie,  from  the  most  perilous  and  astonishing  adventures  on  the  highway, 
to  the  most  exciting  and  curious  incidents  in  the  bower  of  love,  are  portrayed 
by  the  author  of  these  thrilling  narratives  with  a  vividness  of  description 
that  has  never  been  excelled,  either  in  the  pages  of  Ainsworth  or  Reynolds. 
Over  250,0G0  of  these  works  hare  already  been  sold.  The  following  are  the 
novels  contained  in  the  new  series  : 

Captain  Herring ;  or.  The  Highwayman  of  Ep- 

pmgrPorest L ?. 25  cts. 

Jonathan  Wild's  Stratagem ;  or,  The  Highway- 
man's Escape -T. L I -—25  cts. 

The  Hangman  of  Newgate :  or,  The  Highway- 
man's Adventure -T. 1 1 -—25  c"ts. 

Tom  Bipon;  or,  The  Highwayman  and  House- 

breaker. .„^^ 25  cts. 

Claude  Dnval  and  his  Companions ;  or,  The  Race 

on  the  Boad 1 25  cts. 

The  Highwayman's  Ride  to  York ;  or,  The  Death 

of  Black  Bess. 25  cts. 

BIneskin  Bafiled ;  or,  The  Highwayman's  Trap. 

^rice. : .,.± 25  cts. 

LIVES   OF  CELEEHATED  HIGHWAYMEJ^. 

Clande  Pnval,  the  Dashing  Highwayman.    Il- 
lustrated.   Price 25  cts. 

Life  and  Adventures  of  Dick  Clinton,  the  Mys- 
terious Eighwayman.    Price 25  cts. 

The  Adventures  of  Tom  King,  and  the  Story  of 

Kis  Homantic  Life.    Price 25  cts. 

Ned  Scarlet,  the  Daring  Highwayman. 

I'rice 25  cts. 

Captain  Ha'WkeS.'j  A  Narrative  cf  llie  Exploits  of  a  Eobber 
Captain.    Price 25  Cts. 

Paul  Cliiford :  or.  The  Reformed  Hignwayman. 

Price : .25  cts. 

Fearless  Fred.     A  Companion  to  Claude  Duval. 
Price 25  cts. 

^.♦^  The  above  scries  of  Xovels  are  all  well  illustrated  vriih.  intercstinj?  en- 
gravings, and  have  beautiful  covers,  printed  in  colors  upon  enameled  paper. 


Send  Cash.  Orders  to  Dick  &  Fitzgerald,  New  York. 


Popular  Books  sent  Free  of  PcEtage  at  the  Prices  annexed. 


Marasche's  Man^ial  of  Chess.  Containing  a  description 
of  the  Board  and  the  Pieces.  Chess  Notation,  Technical  Terms  with  dia- 
grams illustrating  them,  Relative  Value  of  the  Pieces,  Laws  of  the  Game, 
General  Observations  on  the  Pieces,  Preliminary  Games  for  Beginners, 
Fifty  Openings  of  Games,  giving  all  the  latest  discoveries  of  modern  Mas- 
ters, with  best  games  and  copious  notes.  Twenty  Endings  of  Games,  show- 
ing easiest  ways  of  effecting  Checkmate.  Thirty-six  ingenious  Diagram 
Problems  and  Sixteen  curious  Chess  Stratagems.  To  which  is  added  a 
Treatise  on  the  Games  of  Backgammon,  Russian  Backgammon  and  Dom- 
inoes, tlie  whole  being  one  of  the  best  Books  for  Beginners  ever  published. 
By  N.  Marasche,  Chess  Editor  of  "Wilkes*  Spirit  of  the  Times."  Bound 

in  boards,  cloth  back.    Price _ 50  cis. 

Bound  in  cloth,  gilt  side.     Price 75  cts. 

Book  of  HOTISeholcI  Pets.  Contrining-  valnable  in- 
structions about  the  Diseases,  Breeding,  Training  and  jSlanagemcnt  of  the 
Canary,  JSIocking  Bird,  Brown  Thrush,  or  Thrasher,  Bluebird,  Yellow  Bird, 
Scarlet  Tanager,  Bobolink,  Baltimore  Oriole,  European  Blackbird,  Blue 
Jay,  Blue  and  Yellow  Macaw,  Carolina  Parrakeet,  Cockatoo,  Green  and 
Gray  Parrot,  and  the  rearing  and  management  of  all  k'nds  of  Pigeons  and 
Fancy  Poultry,  Rabbits,  Squirrels,  Guinea  Pigs,  "White  Mice,  and  Dogs  ; 
together  with  a  Comprehensive  Treatise  on  the  Principle  and  Management 
of  the  Salt  and  Fresh  Water  Aquarium,  with  instructions  how  to  make,  lay 
the  Foundation,  and  stock  the  Tank.    Illustrated  with  123  fine  wood-cuts. 

Bound  in  boards,  cloth  back.    Price. 50   cts. 

Bound  in  cloth,  gilt  side.     Price 75  cts. 

Athletic  Sports  for  Boys.  A  Eepository  of  Graceful 
Recreations  for  Youth,  containing  clear  and  complete  instructions  in  Gym- 
nnstic.  Limb  Exercises,  Jumpiny,  Pole  TiCaping,  Dumb  Bells,  Indian  Clubs, 
Parallel  Bars,  the  Horizontal  I5ar,  The  Trapeze,  The  Susr'endod  Ropes, 
Skating,  Swimming,  Jlowing,  Sailing,  Ilorsemanship,  Riding,  Driving, 
Angling,  Fencing  and  Broadsword.  The  whole  splendidly  illusti-atcd  with 
194  fine  wood-cuts  and  diagrams.      Bound  in  boards,  with  cloth  back. 

Price - 75   cts. 

Bound  in  cioth,  gilt  side.    Price - .     1   00 

The  Play-Room  ;  or,  In-Boor  Games  far  Boys  and  Girls; 
including  Round  Games  and  Forfeits,  Slate  and  Board  Games  from  the 
simple  Gnme  of  Tit-Tat-To  to  the  Scientific  Gnme  of  Chess ;  also  numerous 
Table  and  Toy  Games,  together  with  a  larg*^  collection  of  Evening  Amuse- 
ments, Comprehending  Comic  Diversions,  Parlor  Magic,  Ti-icks  with  Cards, 
Snentifio  Recreations  and  Puzzles.  Profusely  illustrated  with  107  fine  wood- 
cuts.    Bound  in  boards  with  cloth  back.    Price 50   cCs. 

Bound  in  cloth,  gilt  side.     Price 75   cts. 

The  Flay  G-ronnd  ;  or,  Out-Door  Games  for  BoyF.  A  Book 
of  Healthy  recreations  for  Youth,  containing  over  a  hundred  Amusements, 
including'Games  of  Activity  and  Speed  ;  Games  with  Toys,  luO.  hies,  Tops, 
Hoops,  Kites,  Archery,  Balls;  with  Cricket,  Croqu-^t  and  Base-Ball.  Splen- 
didly illustrated  with  124  fine  wood-cuts.     Bound  in  boards,  clofh  back. 

Pric« r>0   «I8. 

Bound  in  cloth,  giltside.    Price 75   cts. 

The  American  Card  Player.     Containing  clear  and 

comnrehcnsi  >  f-diroctions  forplaying  the  Games  of  Euchre,  Whist,  B6zi(iue, 
AllVours,  French  Fours,  Cnbbage,  Cassino,  Straight  and  Draw  I'okcr, 
Whisky  Poker  and  Commercial  Pitch,  together  with  all  the  laws  of  those 

games.     150  pages,  boT:nd  in  boards  with  cloth  back.      Price 50   cts. 

Bound  in  cloth,  gilt  side.    Price 75   cts. 


Send  Cash  Orders  to  Dick  &  Fitzgtirald,  New  York. 


Chasterfield's  Letter  Writer  and  Complete  Book 

OF  ETIQUETTE;  or,  Concise  Systematic  Directions  Jsr  Arranging  and 
Writing  Letters.  Also,  Model  Correspondence  in  Friendship  and  Business, 
and  a  great  variety  of  Model  Love  Letters.  If  any  lady  or  gentleman  de- 
sires to  know  how  to  hegirh  a  Love  Correspondence,  this  is  just  the  book  they 
want.  If  they  wish  to  speak  their  minds  to  a  tardy,  a  bashful,  or  a  careless 
or  indifferent  lover,  or  sweetheart,  this  book  tells  exactly  how  it  should  be 
done.  This  work  is  also  a  Complete  Book  of  Etiquette.  You  will  find  more 
real  information  in  this  book,  than  in  half  a  dozen  volumes  of  the  more  ex- 
pensive ones.  It  is  emphatically  a  book  for  the  million,  and  one  which 
every  young  person  should  have.  As  it  contains  Etiquette  for  Ladies,  as 
well  as  for  Gentlemen — Etiquette  of  Courtship  and  Marriage — Etiquette  for 
writing  Love  Letters,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing,  it  is  an  appropriate  book  to 
present  to  a  lady.  This  book  contains  136  pages,  and  is  bound  in  pasteboard 
sides,  with  cloth  back.    Price , 40  cts. 

Brisbane's  G-olden  Ready  Reckoner.    Calculated  in 

Dollars  and  Cents,  bein:ji:  a  useful  Assistant  to  Traders  in  buying  and  selling 
various  sorts  of  commodities,  either  wholesale  or  retail,  showing  at  once  the 
amount  or  value  of  any  number  of  articles,  or  quantity  of  goods,  or  any 
merchandise,  either  by  the  gallon,  quart,  pint,  ounce,  pound,  quarter,  hun- 
dred, yard,  foot,  inch,  bushel,  etc.,  in  an  easy  and  plain  manner.  To  which 
are  added  Interest  Tables,  calculated  in  dollars  and  cents,  for  days  and  for 
months,  at  six  per  cent,  and  at  seven  per  cent,  per  annum,  alternately;  and 
a  great  number  of  other  Tables  and  Rules  for  calciilation  never  before  in 
print.  Bound  in  boards,  cloth  back.  By  "William  D.  Bkisbane,  A.  M., 
Accountant,  Book-keeper,  &c.    Price 35  cts. 

Richardson's  Monitor  of  Free-Masonry.  A  Com- 
plete Guide  to  the  various  Ceremonies  and  Boutine  in  Free-Masons'  Lodges, 
Chapters,  Encampments,  Hierarchies,  &c.,  &c.,  in  all  the  Degrees,  whether 
Modern,  Ancient,  Ineffable,  Philosophical,  or  Historical.  Containing,  also, 
the  Signs,  Tokens,  Grips,  Pass-words,  Decorations,  Drapery,  Dress,  Regalia 
and  Jewels,  in  each  Degree.  Profusely  illustrated  with  Explanatory  En- 
gravings, Plans  of  the  Interior  of  Lodges,  &,c.  By  Jabkz  Richabdsox, 
A.M.    A  book  of  185  pages. 

Bound  in  paper  covers.    Price 50  cts. 

Bound  and  gilt.     Price — $1  00 

This  is  the  only  book  ever  written  which  gives  a  detailed  description  jf 

the  doings  inside  a  Masonic  meeting. 

100  Tricks  "With  Cards.      J.  H.  Geeen,  the  Reformed 

Gambler,  has  just  authorized  the  publication  of  a  new  edition  of  his  book 
entitled,  **  Gamblers'  Tricks  with  Cards  Exposed  and  Explained.'*  This  is 
a  book  of  96  pages,  and  it  exposes  and  explains  all  the  Mysteries  of  the 
Gambling  Tables.  It  is  interesting,  not  only  to  those  who  play,  but  to  those 
who  do  not.     Old  Players  will  get  some  new  ideas  from  this  curious  book. 

Paper  covers.    Price 30  cts. 

Bound  in  boards  with  cloth  back.    Price 60  cts. 

Boxing  Made  Easy;,  or,  The  Complete  Manual  of  Self- 
Defense.  Clearly  Explained  and  Illustrated  in  a  Scries  of  Easy  Lessons, 
with  some  Important  Hints  to  "Wrestlers.    Price 15  cts. 

How  to  "Win  and  How  to  Woo.  Containing  Uules  for 
the  Etiquette  of  Courtship,  with  directions  showing  how  to  win  the  favor  ci 
the  Ladies,  how  to  begin  and  end  a  Courtship,  and  how  Love  Lcttaru  sbor.ld 
be  written.    Price - — - ......13  cts. 


CitfAea  of  ihe  nbore  books  sent  free  of  postage  ^n  recei|>l  of  wr 'o«. 


gOOD    BOOKS. 

The  Parlor  Magician  ;  or,  One  Hundred  Tricks  for  the  Draw- 
ing'TOOTTi,  containing  an  Extensive  and  Miscellaneous  Collection  of  Con- 
juring and  Legerdemain ;  Sleights  with  Dice,  Dominoes,  Cards,  Ribbons, 
Rings,  Fruit,  Coin,  Balls,  Handkerchiefs,  et».,  all  of  which  maybe  Per- 
formed in  the  Parlor  or  Drawing-Room,  without  the  aid  of  any  apparatus  ; 
also  embracing  a  choice  variety  of  Curious  Deceptions,  which  may  be  per- 
formed with  the  aid  of  simple  apparatus  ;  the  whole  illustrated  and  clear- 
ly explained  with  121  engravings.    Paper  covers,  price 30  cts. 

Bound  in  boards,  with  cloth  back-.— .-.. 50  ct». 

Book   of  Riddles   and    Five    Hundred    Home 

AznusementSf  containing  a  Choice  and  Curious  Collection  of  Riddles, 
Charades,  Enigmas,  Rebuses,  Anagrams,  Transpositions,  Conundrums, 
Amusing  Puzzles,  Queer  Sleights,  Recreations  in  Arithmetic,  Fireside 
Games,  and  Natural  Magic,  embracing  Entertaining  Amusements  in  Mag- 
netism, Chemistry,  Second  Sight,  and  Simple  Recreations  in  Science  for 
Family  and  Social  Pastime,  illustrated  with  sixty  engravings.  Paper  covers, 

price — 30  cts. 

Bound  in  boards,  with  cloth,  back 50  cts. 

The  Book  of  Fireside  G-ameS.  Containing  an  Explana- 
tion of  the  most  Entertaining  Games  suited  to  the  Family  Circle  as  a  Re- 
creation, such  as  Games  of  Action,  Games  which  merely  require  attention. 
Games  which  require  memory.  Catch  Games,  which  have  for  their  objects 
Tricks  or  Mystification,  Games  in  which  an  opportunity  is  afiFdrded  to 
display  Gallantry,  "Wit,  or  some  slight  knowledge  of  certain  Sciences, 
Amusing  Forfeits,  Fireside  Games  for  "Winter  Evening  Amusement,  etc. 

Paper  covers,  price 30  cts. 

Bound  in  boards,  with  cloth  back _ _ 50  cts. 

Parlor  Tricks  with  Cards,  containing  Explanations  of 
all  the  Tricks  and  Deceptions  with  Playing  Cards  ever  invented,  embra- 
cing Tricks  with  Cards  performed  by  Sleight-of-hand  ;  by  the  aid  of  Mem- 
ory, Mental  Calculation,  «nd  Arrangement  of  the  Cards ;  by  the  aid  of 
Confederacy,  and  Tricks  Performed  by  the  aid  of  Prepared  Cards.  The 
whole  illustrated  and  made  plain  and  easy,  with  seventy  engravings.    Paper 

covers,  price 30  cts. 

Bound  in  boards  with  cloth  back .' 50  cts. 

Farlor  Theatricals  I  or.  Winter  Evenings'  Entertainment.  Con- 
taining Acting  Proverbs,  Dramatic  Charades,  Acting  Charades,  or  Drawing 
Room  Pantomimes,  Musical  Burlesques,  Tableaux  Vivants,  &c. ;  with  In- 
structions for  Amateurs  ;  how  to  Construct  a  Stage  and  Curtain ;  how  to 
get  up  Costumes  and  Properties,  on  the  **  Making  Up  "  of  Characters,  Ex- 
its and  Entrances  ;  how  to  arrange  Tableaux,  etc.  Illustrated  with  Engra- 
vings.   Paper  covers,  price 30  els. 

Bound  in  boards,  cloth  back 50  cts. 

The  Book  of  500  Cnriotis  Puzzles.    Containing  a 

large  collection  of  entertaining  Paradoxes,  Perplexing  Decpption  in  num- 
bers, and  AMiusing Tricks  in  Geometry.  By  the  author  of  *^rhe  Sociable," 
*♦  The  Secret  Out,"  <*  The  Magician's  Own  Book."  Illustrated  with  a  Great 
Variety  of  Engravings.    This  book  will  have  a  large  sale.    It  will  furnish 

Fun  and  Amusement  for  a  whole  winter.    Paper  covers;  price $0  cts. 

Bound  in  boards,  with  cloth  back 50  cts. 


DICK  &  FITZGERALD 


L^ 


lLD,  18  Ann  St.,  N.  Y.       j 


Cople*  of  the  abore  books  sent  to  anj  address  in  lh«  U.  3.  free  of  postage  on  receipt  of  prlc«. 


GOOD    BOOKS 

Sent    ITreo    of    I^osta^e    at    th.e    DPrioes    MiarliecL. 

^^•^^- » 

Le  Marchand's  Fortune  Teller  and  Dream  Book,  -= — 85  cts. 

The  Young  Keporter ;  or,  How  to  Write  Short  Hand^ 35  * ' 

Brisbane's  Golden  Ready-Keckoner, ^ 35  ** 

The  American  Hoylej  or,  Gentleman's  Book  of  Games, 2  00  " 

The  Book  of  Riddles,  and  500  Amusements,  — - 50  ** 

The  Parlor  Magician,  200  Illustrations, 50  ** 

Parlor  Tricks  with  Cards, 50  ** 

Hillgrove's  Ball  Room  Guide, - 76  " 

Pettengill's  Fortune  Teller  and  Dream  Book, 35  " 

Chesterfield's  Etiquette  and  Letter  Writer  combined, 35  " 

Fontaine's  Golden  Wheel  Dream  Book  and  Fortune  Teller, 85  '* 

Everlasting  Fortune  Teller  and  Magnetic  Dream  Book, 30  ** 

100  Gamblers'  Tricks  with  Cards  Exposed, 25  " 

Willia' Etiquette  and  Usages  of  Society, 13  ** 

Richardson's  Monitor  of  Freemasonary, - ---100  ** 

The  Perfect  Gentleman ;  or,  Etiquette  and  Eloquence, —1  50  ** 

The  Ladies'  Fortune  Teller  of  Love,  Courtship,  and  Marriage,  -  - — 30  *  * 

How  to  Play  Whist,  Euchre,  Loo,  and  Poker, .—13  '* 

Horse  Taming,  as  practiced  by  J.  E.  Rarey, - 13  " 

Knowlson's  Complete  Farrier  and  Horso  Doctor, 13  '* 

Al-Ma-Kan-Tur  Circle ;  or,  How  to  Win  a  Sweetheart  or  Lover,"-25  " 

Book  of  Fireside  Games  for  Home  Amusement, 50  " 

Book  of  500  Curious  Puzzles,  with  100  Illustrations, 50  '' 

The  Secret  Out ;  or,  1,000  Tricks  with  Cards, 150  ** 

How  to  Mix  Drinks,  containing  800  Recipes,—- - —2  50  ** 

Chesterfield's  Art  of  Letter- Writing  Simplified,- 13  " 

The  Laws  of  Love ;  or.  How  to  Conduct  a  Courtship,— - — 25  " 

How  to  Woo  and  How  to  Win ;  or.  Rules  for  Courtship, 13  ** 

Bridal  Etiquette,  with  Rules  for  Bridesmaids, 13  " 

How  to  Behave ;  or.  The  Spirit  of  Etiquette, 13  *' 

Mind  Your  Stops ;  or.  Punctuation  Made  Plain, 13  ** 

Dictionary  of  8,000  Abbreviations, - 13  " 

Blunders  in  Behavior  Corrected - 13  ** 

How  to  Talk  and  Debate, -— 13  '^ 

Ladies'  Guide  to  Beauty,  containing  over  500  Recipes, -  -25  " 

Ladies*  Guide  to  Crochet.    Cloth,  Gilt, 1  25  ^* 

The  American  Home  Cook  Book, - .,...30^**^ 

Live  and  Learn ;  or,  1,000  Mistakes  in  Speaking  and  Writing  ^ 

Corrected, -•- 75  ' 

Morgan's  Freemascnary^zpossd  and  Explained, 25  ** 

Boxing  Made  Easy,  andHow  toi^Wrestle, - 13  *' 

Courtship  Made  Easy ;  or,  the  Art  of  Making  Love  fully  Explained,  13  * ' 

Ladies' Guide  to  Beauty.    By  Lola  MJpntez, 75  *' 

The  Game  of  Checkers  Simplified  and  Explained, - 50  " 

Sexxd   Caslx  Orders  to  DICK  &   FITZQ-ERALD,   ^ 

Publisliers,  No.  18  Ann  Street,  New  York. 


